Chapter Nine: Ganon's Love Shack

About 2.3 seconds after being sucked up by the mysterious whirlwind, Link and Zelda finally reached their destination. The stupid ocarina had no pity for travelers and deposited the two upon their Hylian butts.

"Ouch! There goes my butt bone again!" Link exclaimed as he landed. "Zelda, you're lucky, because you've got enough cushioning down there to soften the impact! Me, on the other hand, has never really gotten used to this mode of transportation-"

"Shut the hell up, dork!" the princess barked, getting to her feet. Her eyes scanned their surroundings. They were now in a long, dark hallway, covered with pictures of Ganon and Miss Snuffles. "My kitty!" Zelda yelped, covering her mouth with her hands.

"Relax, Princess. The Hero has arrived!" boasted Link as he stood next to her.

"Really? Where?" she mockingly asked, turning her head as if she were looking for someone.

"Haha... Gee, Zelda, is this 'Let's Bash Link Day'?"

"I thought that was every day!"

Navi, after seeing that the two had made a safe, yet slightly painful, landing, came out of her hiding place and perched herself on Link's shoulder. She started to whisper in his ear, "Link, you haven't used your sword during this trip yet. Don't you think it's about time to?" The faerie gazed over at Zelda.

Link smirked, but remained quiet. Even he had to admit it. Zelda was in "Extra Bitch Mode" today for some odd reason. ...Must be cramps. That's it. Cramps...

"Come on, Princess." He began to walk down the foreboding hallway. Well, it wasn't really foreboding, just dark. And spooky. "Let's go find your cat."

"Wait for me, hero!" Zelda ran up to him to catch up. Navi buzzed behind the pair, careful not to get lost. "Link, have you ever been here before?"

"No, Zelda." he replied. "He just built this place not too long ago. Ganon and I usually duke it out on Death Mountain, but I guess even he was growing tired of that."

"Ah."

"Yeah. I've been to Gerudo Valley itself several times in the past." He paused, remembering a certain incident that stood out in his little blonde mind. "Heh. Once, I got kidnaped by an all female tribe. They were pretty hot. They locked me up and wanted to torture me. That sexy guard could've stuck her spear anywhere she wanted..."

"Right up your boney, white boy ass?" Navi chimed in with a smile.

"No!" the hero snapped back. "Anyway...I managed to escape their clutches. Any dreams of having wild threesomes with them was shot straight to hell."

"You're such a pig!" Zelda angrily shoved Link away from her. "You make me sick!"

"Aw, Zelda I was only kidding! I only said it because I knew you'd react that way!"

"Then why did you do it? Do you like being abused by me?"

"Why, quite frankly, yes. Yes I do like being abused by you, Princess."

"You already have threesomes, Link!" Navi unexpectedly squeaked. "You, your right hand, and your left hand!"

Zelda and the faerie both stopped in their tracks and laughed at the Hero of Time.

"These masturbation jokes are really getting old, you two!" he growled.

The girls didn't bother answering him and continued to laugh at his pathetic lifestyle.

"Grr!" Link gnashed his teeth together. "Fuck you!!" ...How dare they make fun of me! After all I do for them!! They shouldn't knock it! At least it's sex with someone I love...

"Look Navi," Zelda chuckled. "We got him all angry now."

"He's turning red!"

"You know what? You can go rescue your goddam cat. I'm using the ocarina to get the hell out of here." Link pushed past Zelda and stalked down the hallway in the opposite direction of where they were headed.

"Where are you going, Link?!" the princess cried. "You can't just leave us here!"

"Watch me!"

"He's worse than a woman!" Zelda growled to the faerie. "...And he can be easily swayed like one too." She took off after the hero. Upon reaching her prey, she grabbed him from behind around the waist and yanked him back. "Aw Link, don't leave me..." she purred, resting her head on his back.

"You were making fun of me. I don't like it when you make fun of me." he timidly responded.

"I was only teasing!"

"Well, you're mean when you tease."

"Am I?" Zelda, knowing fully what she was doing for once, maneuvered her hands so they would now be resting a bit further south than his waistline. ...Oh Link, I just want to reach under your skirt--er, tunic--and SQUEEZE!!!...

He giggled when he saw where her wandering hands had ended up. "See, you're being mean now!"

"Does this look like I'm being mean?"

"...I'm not sure. I can never tell with you."

"I'm not being mean now, Link." Zelda sighed.

He turned around and took the princess into his arms. "Zelda, I could never remain mad at you! You're just so pretty, and your eyes sparkle like diamonds! Kiss me!"

"I told you! Once we get back to Hyrule Castle, I'll give you a kiss."

"Why not now? Just a small peck would suffice."

"Rescue my cat first, then I'll peck you all you want."

At her words, Link suddenly got a mental image of a chicken pecking away at corn kernels. He wasn't sure why it popped up, but it was sure as shit funny!

"...What are you smiling at, dumbass?"

"Nothing! I've got a kitty to rescue!" Link took her hand and yanked her back to where Navi was waiting. "I can't wait until you peck the hell out of me, Zelda!"

"Yeah yeah...I'll smack you upside the head too if we don't hurry up!"

Link didn't reply back, but instead skipped ahead of the girls and lead the way down Ganon's long, endless, dark, mother fucking hallway. Was that enough adjectives for you, bitch?

"Hey Zelda?" Navi whispered. "What did you do to change his mind like that?"

"I rested my hands on his nuts."

"Wow. That easy, huh?"

"That easy, Navi. He's a sucker."

Finally, after ten minutes of walking, they came to the end of the hall. It opened up into a large, vast chamber. Candles were lit everywhere, and there was a fresh bottle of champagne on ice. The music of Barry White echoed throughout the room. Link and Zelda immediately took notice of the heart-shaped bed accenting the center of the chamber. And, to top it all off, there was Ganon, dressed in a long, red silk robe, holding a champagne glass. He was standing next to the bed, looking a lot like Hugh Hefner, only without the Playboy bunnies. The Hero of Time was taken back.

"What. The. Fuck?"

"WELL WELL WELL! LOOK WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP! MR. SPOCK AND HIS VULCAN LADY FRIEND!" the Emperor of the Evil Realm greeted, holding up his glass.

Link drew his sword. Zelda and Navi did their best to help Link. In other words, they hid behind him and cowered like retarded baby animals. "We just want the cat back!"

"HA! THE CAT, EH? WELL, COME AND GET HER, SISSYBOY!" Ganon clapped his hands together, and out ran Miss Snuffles from a dark corner. His villa was loaded with dark things, come to think about it. Hallways. Corners. Think Ganon should've paid his electric bill? Link was about to snatch up the cat when the Evil Incarnation of Darkness stopped him. "HALT! FIRST WE MAKE A DEAL!"

"A deal?"

"YES, SHIT-FOR-BRAINS!" Ganon continued to scream in his loud villain voice. "A DEAL! A FIGHT TO THE DEATH-"

"Oh, Christ! We've done that so many times, but you keep coming back!"

"GRR...SHUT UP, BOY! IF I WIN, I KEEP THE CAT AND TAKE OVER HYRULE. IF I LOSE, YOU TAKE THE CAT!"

"That doesn't seem like a fair exchange...but it's not like I have a choice." Link grumbled. Zelda jabbed him in the back for that comment. "Ouch!"

"VERY WELL! BUT FIRST, I HAVE A SURPRISE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU!"

"What?" Link and Zelda simultaneously asked, suspicious of Ganon's motives. You'd have to be full blown brain-dead if you weren't. They were bad, but not that bad!

"Don't you think this setting's romantic?" Their arch-nemesis' tone had softened, and he spoke normally.

"Huh? Romantic?"

"You don't find it...stimulating?" As Ganon said this, he made weird faces at Link...and Link, being the brain surgeon that he was, got the wrong idea.

"Aw man!" he quickly murmured to Zelda. "He...He...wants to-?"

"Hey, better you than me!"

Ganon interrupted them. "Why don't you two take a seat on the bed?" He motioned over to the heart-shaped atrocity.

Link turned to look at Zelda, but all she did was shrug. Fearing for his genitals, he looked at Ganon and spoke. "And what if we don't want to?"

"Then I'LL MAKE YOU!" he boomed.

"Er, come on, Zelda. Let's not make the nice pig angry." The hero took Zelda's arm and began to drag her over to the bed.

"Link! This is a trap!" she protested, pulling away from him. "How damn gullible are you?! I think Ganon's getting a bit lazy, because this is way too obvious!"

"No Princess, I assure you this isn't a trap. ...I'm actually doing you a favor, you dimwit." Ganon snarled, restraining himself. He was growing impatient with the Hylians' bickering.

"Zelda, if this is a trap, I'll...I'll...do what I always do. Kill Ganon and save the world. Simple as that." Link muttered to Zelda.

"You better do just that, hero."

"Come and sit!" Ganon urged.

Link took one last glance at Zelda, then went over to the bed. She reluctantly followed. "What do you have planned, Ganon?" Link asked in his dumb "hero voice."

"Well...I'm a hopeless romantic, Link." the pig smiled.

"Is that why you have a life-sized cardboard cutout of that drag queen over there?"

Ganon looked behind him and scowled. Indeed, there was a cardboard cutout of a very masculine looking woman on display next to the ice basket thingie containing the champagne bottle. "THAT IS NO DRAG QUEEN, YOU TWIT! THAT IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE--BEA ARTHUR!"

"Ack!" Link cried. "That's a woman?! Her shoulders are broader than yours!"

"IT SHOWS THAT SHE'S STRONG!"

"And she's almost your height!"

"SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD! SHUT UP! WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW? YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH A TALL, SKINNY BLONDE! HOW STEREOTYPICAL!"

"But, dude! She's ghastly! Ganon, I'd expect more from you-"

"THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY AUTOGRAPHED BEA ARTHUR CUTOUT! LEAVE HER ALONE." He shook his head, regaining his composure. "...Tonight has to do with you two."

Link couldn't get off the Bea Arthur topic though. He finally had some decent blackmail material against his nemesis. "Goddam, Ganon. She is one ugly woman! It looks like she fell off the Ugly Tree and hit every single branch on the way down!"

"Haha yeah, she is really ugly." Zelda joined it.

"She's not just ugly! She's fugly! And that means she's fuckin' ugly!"

"SHUT UP, BOTH YOU MORONS!!!" the King of Evil shrieked. "As I was saying earlier before I was rudely interrupted... I'm a hopeless romantic, and just want you to have some fun before I kill you both."

Link and Zelda gulped.

"Fun?" the Hero of Time asked. Nervousness had crept up into his voice. Zelda slowly took a seat on the bed.

"Yes, fun, you-" Before Ganon could call them another name, he stopped himself. "Wait. I promised myself I'd be nice to you in your final hours. That's why I'm planning this little surprise. Actually, it's more of a gift." He paced back and forth, causing the level of terror in the Hylians to skyrocket. Link kept his eyes glued on the freakish pig.

"Gift?" Zelda questioned. She too was growing restless, and began to twiddle her thumbs.

"YES, GIFT! ARE YOU DEAF?! ...Sorry, force of habit." Ganon turned his back toward them, allowing the two to immediately start whispering to each other frantically about what in Din's name was going on. As soon as Ganon turned back around, they stopped. "Anyway, let me tell you about my generous offering. Mr. Lefty-I mean, Link... I know someone who'd make all your dreams come true." The pig winked at the hero. Link whimpered. Zelda stared at Ganon in disbelief. "...And that person is in this very chamber!"

...Oh God, he wants to have sex with me! My archenemy wants me to become his butt buddy!... Link anxiously thought. He felt like he was going to have the runs and puke at the same time. That isn't exactly the nicest feeling in the world. It can only be magnified with a long night of heavy drinking. Hangover The Shits Puke = YUCK!

Zelda was also thinking, and killing thousands of brain cells in the process. ...Poor Link. He's going to get it through the back door from Ganon. How fucked up is that? And I wanted to be the one who Link enters first! Tee-hee! Ouch! Silly Blonde!...

"And Link, do you know who that special person is?" Ganon asked with a grin upon his piggish features.

Link felt his knuckles turn white as he stammered, "Y--Y-You?"

"ME?! ME?! YOU FAILURE OF DARWINIAN EVOLUTION, NOT ME! HER!" Ganon screamed, pointing to the Princess of Hyrule. Zelda's eyes bugged out at the Evil Incarnation's outburst. Link looked down at Zelda.

"Hell yeah, she could make all of my dreams come true..." he blissfully smiled at the frightened girl.

"Link!" she screeched. "Get us out of here!"

"Sorry, Princess! Didn't mean it like that!"

"OH PLEASE, LINK! ZELDA COULD SNEEZE AND YOU'D FIND IT SO ATTRACTIVE THAT YOU'D CUM ALL OVER YOURSELF!"

"Uh...er...he's right." Link mumbled, lowering his head in shame. ...How the hell did Ganon know that?! Luckily for me, it's allergy season, and Zelda's got the worst case of allergies in all of Hyrule. Hehe...I better get the tissues ready...for the both of us!...

"This is getting too weird!" the princess yelled. "Let's get my cat and leave!" She angrily stood up, but Ganon stormed over and pushed her back down onto the bed.

"Don't you dare touch her like that again!" Link exclaimed. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Shut up! Link, look at her! Doesn't she look so tempting?" coaxed Ganon.

The hero stared at Zelda, who was just lying there, too scared to move. "She looks frightened!"

"No she doesn't! She looks willing! If you think she looks scared, why don't you try and make her feel better?"

"How? By getting her cat and beating this popsicle stand?"

"NO! BY DOING THIS!" Ganon grabbed Link hard by the tunic and pushed him down on top of Zelda. To make it even worse, he then got up onto the bed and continued to hold the hero down on top of the princess. She was now screaming. Link didn't know whether to rejoice or start whooping piggy ass. "DON'T YOU FOOLS KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO?!"

"You're trying to have a menage e trois with us?" Link cautiously answered.

"NO! I'M TRYING TO GET YOU TWO TO FINALLY GO AT IT! FORGET ABOUT ME! IT'S YOU TWO WHO EVERYONE WANTS TO SEE GET TOGETHER! I'M ACTUALLY HELPING YOU, LINK!"

"Ganon," Link calmly said. "I...um...appreciate what you're trying to do, but honestly, I don't think we need your help."

"OH, YOU DON'T?! THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU EVEN KISSED HER YET, YOU PATHETIC IMP?"

Zelda was screeching as the two men (At least I think they're both male. One definitely is, but the other I'm not so sure of) on top of her argued back and forth. Her arms and legs were flailing wildly, but somehow, she managed to wrap her legs around Link's hips. Coincidence? I think not! Accident? Ha! The princess knew what Ganon was getting at--let's face it, you'd have to have the IQ of a speed bump not to--but she was an idiot, and Link was even worse. Somehow, she felt herself wanting the moment, but without the godawful music and Ganon. He just wasn't adding to the ambiance. Their piggish nemesis was getting fed up.

"I won't watch!" he cried. "I'll even leave while you...'play!' Come on! I know you want this!"

"Ganon, this isn't how I envisioned this moment!" Link continued to fight against his enemy's grip, but the fucking pig was just too strong.

"You're a fool, Link!" Ganon, further horrifying the couple, shoved the Hero of Time's head down so he would be like half an inch away from Zelda's face. "Don't you just want to kiss her?!"

"Er...I...I..."

"I KNOW YOU DO!"

Zelda remained quiet out of fear that Ganon would do something horrible to Link if she fought back. Plus, as I stated earlier, she would've been lovin' the moment if only Ganon wasn't there giving step-by-step directions on how to fornicate.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? KISS HER! AM I GOING TO HAVE TO BREAK OUT INTO SONG AND SING 'KISS THE GIRL?' DON'T MAKE ME DO THAT, LINK!"

"I-I can't just go and kiss her! That's impolite!"

"ACK! YOU TRULY ARE AS STUPID AS A HOUSEPLANT!"

Amid all the hubbub, Navi had sat herself on top of a gargoyle statue overlooking the chamber. She wasn't going to touch the current situation with a fifty foot pole. No words she could produce would have been able to describe the absolute revulsion she was feeling. In layman's terms, she was staying out of this one!

Ganon, in a last ditch effort to ensue a sexual encounter between the Hylians, pushed Link's hips all the way down so they would be digging into Zelda. "COPULATE!" The King of Evil screamed. "COPULATE, GODDAM YOU!"

"Eww! Quit touching me like that!" Link yelled, trying to break free from his nemesis. "This is really fucking bizarre!"

Zelda clenched her eyes shut. It was funny how her absolute dream-come-true situation ended up being her worst nightmare. Stranger things have happened, especially in this story which doesn't make any sense.

Now, dear reader, try to picture this scene. Three people (two of the same sex...we think) fighting on a heart-shaped bed. One was being forced on top of the other while the third rammed the other's hips into the female's crotch. It wasn't very pretty. Not pretty at all. It was downright unnerving.

"LINK, IF YOU DON'T SCREW HER SOON, I'M JUST GOING TO CUT TO THE CHASE AND KILL YOU!"

Ganon's request caused Link to stop squirming. He grinned stupidly down at Zelda, who had finally gathered the courage to open her eyes and glare at him. "You heard him, Princess. If you and I don't give in to our desires soon, the pig's gonna kill me. Now, you don't want that to happen, do you? So, you and I better just start making sweet love before-"

She couldn't care less about what he was babbling about, and opted to punch him straight in the face in order to shut him the fuck up. Ganon cackled when he saw what happened to the hero.

"Ouch!" Link whined. "I was only joking before! ...Hey, at least I tried, right?"

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT YOUR BLACK HOLE OF A MOUTH AND COPULATE WITH THE LADY, DAMMIT!" Ganon interjected. "DO YOU WANT TO DIE SOME PATHETIC VIRGIN? I'M TRYING TO AT LEAST TURN YOU INTO A MAN BEFORE I KILL YOU!"

"Link!" Zelda wailed. "Get him off of us!"

"Copulate? What in God's name does that even mean?" the hero questioned to himself.

"GIVE YOUR LEFT HAND A REST! DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME THAT YOU FINALLY ENGAGED IN SOME COITUS?"

"Coitus? I still have no idea what 'copulate' means."

"OH SWEET JESUS! DIDN'T YOU LEARN THIS IN YOUR HIGH SCHOOL HEALTH CLASS? AM I ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE TO START DRAWING DIAGRAMS FOR YOU, YOU OBLIVIOUS ELF?!"

"What the hell are you even talking about?!"

"LINK, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND EVERYTHING HOLY, JUST SHAG HER ROTTEN, YOU GOON!"

"LLLIIIINNNKKK!" Zelda screamed when she heard Ganon's last command. "End this shit now!!!"

"Are you kidding, Ganon? She'd kick my ass if I tried that!" the hero objected. "I just can't do it! Not here, not now! Maybe in the future--it better happen in the future--but not now!"

"DAMN YOU AND YOUR PERPETUAL IGNORANCE! I GIVE UP! DIE A VIRGIN!" Ganon thundered as he pushed Link down on Zelda one last time. He stood up over them. (Quick author's note here: For those of you who are virgins out there, I mean no disrespect. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it, but in Link's case, it's not only pathetic and sad, but humorous as well. Anyway, time to end the After School Special.)

Zelda shoved Link away and raced to where Miss Snuffles was sitting. Just as she was going to grab her pretty kitty, Ganon teleported in her way.

"STUPID BLONDE!" He barked. "TIME TO MEET YOUR MAKER!" Ganon raised his hand to punch her or something when Link butted in between them.

"Don't touch my woman!" the perturbed hero growled.

"BLAST!" The Evil Incarnation of Darkness realized his efforts to smite Zelda had been thwarted and lowered his hand. "ONTO PHASE TWO!"

Suddenly, Miss Snuffles leapt up from her spot and hurled herself at Link, attaching onto his chest with her claws. Why? I dunno. She hated him.

"Aggghhh!" Link cried, surprised. He didn't like the cat either. It was a mutual thing.

"Link, don't hurt my kitty!" the princess yelled.

"HAHA! TIME TO SEE MR. JACKMEOFF DANCE!" Ganon laughed. He blasted a bolt of fire at Link's feet, triggering the misfortunate hero to jump up.

"Shit!" The Hero of Time began to run around the chamber, with the cat clinging onto his tunic, as Ganon hurled fireballs at him. All he did was wave his arms around in the air and scream like a pussy. Of course it didn't occur to him to use his sword...the douchebag. All Zelda could do was watch like she always did. "Ganon's gonna burn my ass off!"

"Link! Your sword! Use your sword, you dork!" Zelda shouted, then quickly added in, "But don't hurt my cat!"

"Ah! What a great idea!" Link stopped running around the room and drew his sword. "Time to use this baby!"

"TIME TO FIGHT ME, BOY!" Ganon remarked with glee.

"...Uh, yeah!" So Link started to do some fancy fencing, which he was good at. Don't ask me to describe it here, because I'm not very good at that sort of thing. All you need to know is that if Link was born for one thing, it was to use a sword. Masturbation didn't count. Any fool could do that, and Link was no exception, but...I think you know what I mean. Don't ya, Charlie?

"Throw me the ocarina, Link! I'll warp us outta here!" Zelda called from a safe distance.

"Sweet! Another great idea, Zelda!" Link, while his left hand fought Ganon off, used his right hand to reach into his bag and pull out the instrument. The crazy glue had worked quite nicely.

"DAMN! WHY ARE YOU SUCH A GOOD FIGHTER, YET SUCH A DULL, PITIFUL, DORKISH INDIVIDUAL?" The King of Evil asked, dodging a sword swipe.

"I'm Link! I do many wonders with my left hand!" The hero either had a temporary brain fart at that moment, or had honestly lost his mind. No one would say something idiotic like that so openly. ...Okay, Link would.

"YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN, MR. LEFTY!"

"Zelda! Here, catch--" Link, somehow even beyond the author's comprehension, managed to drop the ocarina onto the floor. Maybe it was an extra increase in gravity or something? "Oops! Me butterfingers!" he scolded himself.

Ganon guffawed at the hero, "You imbecile!"

Zelda was more blunt. "You asshole!"

"Wait, hold on!" Just as Ganon went to snatch it up, Link kicked the ocarina over to Zelda.

"Nice work, hero!" she mockingly praised, picking up the instrument. Link decided to rid Hyrule of Ganon once again, but he had to do it quickly.

"Hey, Ganon!" Link pointed over Mr. Piggy's shoulder. "Isn't that Bea Arthur over there?"

"BEA? WHERE?!" Ganon whirled around and saw nothing. "HEY, YOU DORK! YOU LIED!" Before the Emperor of the Evil Realm could react, Link tripped him. Hey, sometimes you just got to fight dirty to get what you want. It's a hero-eats-pig-world. He landed flat on his back and watched as Link placed his foot on his chest.

"Heh...damn, I'm good." Link smugly grinned.

"BLAST! I'VE BEEN FOILED AGAIN BY THE HALFWIT HYLIAN!"

Meanwhile, Zelda had played "Hot Cross Buns" on the ocarina and a warp whirlwind was forming. "Hurry, Link!" she yelled.

The Hero of Time looked down at Ganon, then raised up his sword. "Who's your daddy?"

"CURSE YOU, LINK! CURSE YOU AND YOUR ETERNAL VIRGINITY!"

Link was about to stab Ganon when Zelda called to him a second time. "Link! Get your ass over here!"

"Aw, shit! Well, it was fun! Catch ya later!" Link ran over to Zelda and Navi with Miss Snuffles still attached to his tunic. How the hell did she remain on him throughout the whole fight scene? I dunno! Quit asking questions!

Ganon watched as the whirlwind warped the trio the hell out of there. It was suddenly very quiet in his vacation villa. Then, to break the silence, he began to scream.

"GODDAMIT! I'M DEPRESSED! MY PLANS FOR PLAYING CUPID FAILED! HMPF...AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE MISS SNUFFLES TO CUDDLE UP TO!" He paused, looking up at his life-sized Bea Arthur cutout. "OH, BUT BEA...WE HAVE EACH OTHER! BWA HA! HA! HA!!!!!"

Whew! I wrote this chapter in a DAY. I hope everyone liked it. I think it's the most insane chapter yet, by far. Don't expect the story to end now that Link has rescued Miss Snuffles. Oh no. The whole "catnapped" scenario was only the beginning of this saga. Expect to see some new characters arrive in the new few chapters. I've got a shitload planned for Link and Zelda! As always, keep the reviews coming! Go to my site to check out more Zelda and video game insanity, as well as a brand new message board. The link is in my profile page. Adios!