Hi Everyone!

I've just realised that I had three fully written chapters on my laptop I forgot to upload... I'm sorry about that. I'm a little lost in the work-school-daycare triangle, it comes with a lot of paperwork, my kid needs a ridiculously lot things for the daycare and I have to get ready with everything this week. I've been working on the stories in the evenings because it helps me relax, but I completely forgot about the rest.

Thank you for reading and reviewing this story! I knew that I wouldn't be too popular with the previous chapter but I was willing to take the risk. Hopefully, you like this one. Enjoy!

Three whole days had passed since Blaine had kicked Kurt out of his apartment. In those three days, he hadn't done anything to make things better. He had wanted to at first but by the time Sam had left his place, he had come to the same decision he always made when he was in trouble: he had sat back, believing that everything would turn right sooner or later.

It was a stupid thing to do, Blaine knew it deep inside, especially when Lily was asleep and he stayed completely alone with his thoughts. That evil little voice in his head told him that it was all his fault and he was the only one who could solve this problem. He was the one who had pushed Kurt after all and had practically told him to not talk to him anymore. Kurt had surely taken his words to heart and he wouldn't search for Blaine. He would certainly find a replacement and this way, he didn't have to meet Blaine ever again.

That was the last thing Blaine wanted. He really liked Kurt and he had honestly hoped that there could be something between them he had never had with any other guy. Kurt was nice and hot, humorous and clever, he seemed like a perfect guy for Blaine... But if he wanted him, he had to swallow his pride and talk to Kurt. Apologise. Beg on his knees for the man to forgive him. Maybe buy him flowers. Yeah, that would a normal person do.

But Blaine... well, when things turned bad, he couldn't act like a normal guy. He blamed Cooper in these situations for always taking care of the mess Blaine had caused. Cooper had been there for him since day 1 and no matter how stupid Blaine had been, he had always found a solution. Even now that that bitch controlled Cooper's life, he found a way to help his brother. Although Blaine was glad for his brother's help, he knew very well how lucky he was that he hadn't ended up in jail or hadn't gotten himself killed with his stupidity, he also knew that depending on his brother was the most important reason why he hadn't learnt how to solve his own problems. But he had to learn now, if he wanted Kurt back. He couldn't sit on his butt any longer or else he would lose his chance for forever.

There was another option, the easy way Blaine liked so much: he could get drunk, hook up with the first pretty face he could find in the bar and forget that Kurt ever existed. Normally, Blaine chose this way. It was easy and painless, if you don't count the constant hangover he had in those days of his liquor-therapy, as he liked calling it. It would be hard to get over Kurt, he would need at least a few weeks, something he couldn't afford as the father of a baby girl. Not that he wanted to.

"Hey, sweetie."

Blaine sighed tiredly as he looked up at the brunette guy sitting across him. He was quite good-looking but that was all Blaine thought about him. One quick glance at the guy and he turned back to his work.

"Not a talker, I see" the guy said.

"What do you want?" Blaine asked impatiently. Damn, something was wrong with him. He couldn't even enjoy his work as he used to before Kurt.

"A scotch without ice" the guy answered, his eyes never leaving Blaine's body. "And you?"

"Eight hours of sleep and a painkiller" Blaine replied.

"I can't help you with that but..." the guy stood up and reached out for Blaine's hand. Blaine raised an eyebrow as he looked up at the guy. "I know a nice private place just outside the club."

"I'm not interested" Blaine said and pulled his hand back, so he could go back to work.

"Are you sure? Because I think what you need is..."

"What I need is you to shut up and leave me the hell alone" Blaine said angrily.

It wasn't how he handled things. He often picked up guys in the club, it was the easiest way to get laid. A quick conversation, a few drinks and a fuck or a blowjob, depending on how hot the guy was. But he wasn't in the mood now, he wasn't sure if he would ever be. There was only one guy he wanted and it certainly wasn't the one sitting across him.

"Fine" the guy sighed and when he got his drink, he quickly left, surely searching for other men.

"That was rude" Jeff said as he stepped closer to Blaine, grabbing a bottle from the counter.

"He deserved it" Blaine said.

"What's wrong with you?" Jeff asked. "He was hot and you like this type."

"I don't fuck every single guy who comes here for a drink" Blaine said.

"Well..." Jeff muttered.

Blaine let go of the bottle he had in his hand and turned to his friend.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

"You know what I mean. We're friends, don't you think I noticed that something was wrong with you?" Jeff asked.

"I'm fine" Blaine said and turned away from Jeff.

"As that about that guy?" Jeff asked.

"There's no guy" Blaine said.

"Really? Because Thad saw you with him in the park the other day" Jeff smirked.

"There's nothing between us!" Blaine said.

"So you had a fight" Jeff nodded slowly.

"Please, Jeff, do me a favor and leave me alone" Blaine said.

"Blaine, I'm trying to..."

"Just don't" Blaine said and walked to the other side of the counter before Jeff could continue. He so didn't want to talk about Kurt any longer, especially with Jeff.

~ o ~

"Do you want to talk about it?" Burt asked the same night when he found Kurt in the living room, watching the game. Kurt hated sports, so there must have been something wrong with him.

"Talk about what?" Kurt asked.

"The guy" Burt said knowingly.

"It didn't work" Kurt sighed sadly.

"I'm sorry" Burt said. "So are you going to tell me about it?"

"Dad, not now, please" Kurt said.

"It would be good for you" Burt tried to reason. "You're shutting me out again, I don't like it."

Kurt took a deep breath, preparing himself for the talk. It was so hard. He blamed himself for what had happened at Blaine the other day and he knew that he had screwed up, probably for forever. Noone in their right mind would start with someone like Kurt.

"I wasn't ready, I guess" he said quietly. "Things were great with him, but..."

"What happened?" Burt asked.

Kurt didn't talk for a minute, he buried his face into his hands and tried not to think about what he had said to Blaine.

"We were on a date. It was amazing, I really felt good with him. Until we got back to his place. I-I thought that I was ready, so I kissed him..." Kurt shook his head sadly, sighing again.

"What happened then?" Burt asked. He had to know what kind of guy his son dated, so he could give him advice.

"I got scared" Kurt admitted. "It felt like I cheated on Oliver, it felt so wrong. So I pushed him away and when he asked me about it, I panicked and told him horrible things. I-I think I kind of accused him that he wanted to rape me."

"That's harsh" Burt said.

"I know! I screwed up!" Kurt said and jumped up from the couch, hoping that pacing around his father would help him with his thoughts. "He got angry, of course. I tried to explain but it was too late and he practically kicked me out and haven't called me since then."

"Does he know about your past?" Burt asked after a while.

"No" Kurt admitted.

"I don't want to side with him but he couldn't exactly know what happened if you didn't even tell him about it" Burt said. "You should have told him. It's something that will influence your decisions for the rest of your life. You can't keep it from everyone, especially your potential partners."

"I know" Kurt said. He knew that he had made a mistake but he also knew that it was late to tell Blaine. He surely wouldn't even listen to him.

"Give him some time" Burt said in the end. What else could he say after this? "Maybe he will cool off and talk to you again."

"Or I have to avoid him for the rest of my life" Kurt sighed.

"If you aren't ready, maybe this is what you need" Burt said quietly. "You can't force yourself to love someone. Everyone is different. You may need more time to move on."

"What if I won't be able to?" Kurt asked.

"It's still too fresh, Kurt. Don't give up on youself. You're young, you have the best chances to fall in love again" Burt said gently.

Kurt looked down at his hands, not knowing what to say. Did he want to move on at all? Or was he supposed to stay alone for the rest of his life? Even he couldn't answer those questions, so he definitely wasn't ready for more. But he so missed Blaine...

Damn, it was hard like hell. And he just got more frustrated from every passed second he spent thinking about Blaine.

~ o ~

Kurt sighed sadly as he read the report he had gotten earlier that day. It was about one of his most difficult clients and his family and he honestly didn't know what else he could do with them. He had talked to the man several times but it seemed like he didn't listen to Kurt at all. Now one of his children was found in the neighbourhood, begging for food. The girl had told the police that they hadn't gotten nothing to eat for days and their father was nowhere to be found, as if he had disappeared suddenly. Kurt felt so bad when he thought about those kids. Their childhood was clearly horrible and he wasn't sure if he could do anything to make it better without tearing them apart.

It seemed like he didn't have any easy cases lately. Everyone seemed to get crazy and there were too many kids outside, suffering from their parents' stupidity. Kurt wished he had been a billionaire, so he could support those families and save every child. Okay, he probably couldn't save everyone but he could do more than now. It was frustrating how little power he had when he wanted nothing but to save these families.

A soft knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts and he dropped the report in surprise when he realised who was standing in front of him.

"Hey" Blaine said quietly. "May I come in?"

Kurt only nodded in response, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he watched Blaine. He didn't know what to expect, why Blaine came to see him. He was worried that Blaine would yell at him again, tell him what a horrible person he was for messing with him like that. But Blaine didn't yell, he didn't even say a word as he stepped to Kurt, swaying on his feet awkwardly.

"So..."

"What are you doing here, Blaine?" Kurt asked gently.

"I brought you coffee!" Blaine said and quickly placed a paper cup onto Kurt's desk. "You always work a lot, and I thought you would need some caffeine..."

"Thank you" Kurt said. "Although I don't think I deserve it after what happened between us."

"Don't blame yourself, it was completely my fault" Blaine said.

"No, it was mine" Kurt said.

"No, I was an asshole. Again" Blaine replied.

"No, I..."

"Hey, stop" Blaine smiled. "I didn't come to blame you for what happened on Saturday. I..."

Blaine hesitated. He knew what to say but it was so hard... He had never apologised before. It just wasn't his style. He never cared about others, he didn't care if he hurt someone, it was just how he worked. But Kurt really deserved that apology.

Blaine took a few steps closer to Kurt's desk, now seeing what was on the other side. Papers, mostly. But there was a photo, too, a photo taken of Kurt with a blond guy and a little boy who looked like the younger version of Kurt. Blaine smiled sadly at the photo, unconsciously reaching out towards it. Kurt panicked when he realised what Blaine was staring at, grabbed the photo and pulled it to his chest, hiding it from Blaine's view.

"I..."

"Your family?" Blaine asked quietly.

"How do you know?" Kurt asked.

"Looks like everyone knew about your accident except for me" Blaine said. "You should have told me about it."

There was no anger in his voice. Kurt waited for him to continue, to tell him what a huge mistake Kurt had made when he had kept such an important thing secret, but it never came. Blaine kept staring at him, his eyes showing sympathy and maybe pity, but he didn't seem betrayed at all.

"I couldn't" Kurt admitted. "I wanted to tell you but... I just couldn't."

"You can't talk about it" Blaine nodded in understanding. "I know what it is like. You don't want to feel the pain anymore, so you try to suppress your feelings. It won't help."

"That's all I can do. I'm scared that I wouldn't survive if I faced my fears."

"Look at me" Blaine said and grabbed Kurt's arm, gently pulling him up to stand beside him. "I never did this before and it's hard like hell, so I will just say it. I'm sorry. I didn't want to push you or scare you or whatever you felt that night. I was wrong. I should have seen that something was wrong. Hell, I felt it. I knew that you hid something from me. I should have gone slower and let you take that step."

"I did it" Kurt said.

"No" Blaine shook his head. "You weren't ready and you knew it. You only went into it because you felt like you had to. I know that I was an asshole with you and I shouldn't have said those things but it's too late to take it back. All I can do is to ask you to forgive me."

"I'm not angry with you" Kurt said honestly.

"You should be" Blaine smiled.

Kurt sighed and pulled away from Blaine, sitting back into his chair. He looked down at the photo he had in his hands, running his fingers down the people he had lost months earlier. Then he put it back onto his desk and forced himself to focus on Blaine.

"What should we do now?" Kurt asked as he looked up at Blaine.

The man smiled at him and pulled a chair closer to Kurt. When Blaine sat down, he took Kurt's hand into his and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Tell me everything" Blaine said.

"Blaine, I can't talk about..."

"Not the accident" Blaine corrected himself. "I hope that you will tell me about it someday, when you feel ready but that's not what I want to know now. I want to know how you feel about us. We have to discuss this."

"I know" Kurt sighed sadly.

"So?" Blaine asked when Kurt didn't continue.

"I... I really enjoy being with you and Lily. You make me smile again and even if for a short time, you help me forget about my own misery" Kurt said hesitantly.

"But that's all" Blaine nodded slowly.

"No, you don't understand..."

"I think I do, Kurt" Blaine smiled sadly. "You might enjoy our time but you aren't ready for a relationship. Not yet."

"I'm so sorry" Kurt said. He felt so bad for telling Blaine this but it was the truth. He liked the man but he thought about his late husband every time Blaine kissed him. It wouldn't make any good for them if they continued living in denial.

"I'm not angry" Blaine said. "Okay, I admit that I wanted more but it was before I found out about your past. Knowing what happened to you, it changes everything. I understand that you aren't ready for more, I really do."

"I feel like an idiot" Kurt said. "I should have told you."

"It would have saved us from a huge fight" Blaine chuckled. "But I guess I know why you didn't tell me."

"Everyone keeps asking me how I am. I can see the pity in their eyes and it's too much. I wanted someone to talk to me for who I am and not what I've been through" Kurt explained.

"You should get used to it. They will keep asking you for years" Blaine said.

"Really?" Kurt grimanced.

"Or even more" Blaine smiled.

"You're joking" Kurt said.

"Why would I?" Blaine asked innocently.

"Blaine, we're trying to have a serious conversation here..."

"I know, I know" Blaine said. "Sorry. If it makes you feel better, if you send everyone to hell, they will leave you alone eventually."

"That's not my style but thanks for the offer" Kurt said.

They fell silent again. Blaine knew that he should have said goodbye, there wasn't really much to discuss anymore. Kurt told him how he felt and that was the end of their barely existing relationship. Blaine could go home and forget about Kurt with the help of a few bottles of alcohol, then go out and find someone else, probably someone he didn't know at all and only would use for one night. But Blaine didn't want to go. Even if he had no chance with Kurt, the idea of leaving him like that felt so wrong.

"Uhm... I know that you probably want me to leave you alone but..." Blaine fell silent again, not knowing how to say this. He wasn't the kind of guy who cared about others, it was all new for him.

"But what?" Kurt asked.

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm here" Blaine said finally. "I understand your feelings more than you would think. I'm good in listening to others, I have two perfectly comfortable shoulders if you need something to cry on and I always keep whiskey at home if you need a drink."

"Uhm... thanks?" Kurt said uncertainly.

"Just call me, Kurt" Blaine said as he finally stood up. "You need someone to talk to, whether you see it or not. Noone can live with such a huge burden on his own. It would kill you."

"Thank you, Blaine" Kurt said in the end.

"That's what friends are for, right?" Blaine smiled.

"So friends?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah. Friends" Blaine nodded.

Kurt seemed to relax a bit as the words left Blaine's lips and Blaine couldn't decide if it was good or bad. They talked to each other again and it was good but on the other hand, they had just made a decision that could cement their relationship into the friendship level. Since he had decided to be selfless for at least a few hours, Blaine forced out a smile and stepped away from Kurt.

"I should go now" Blaine said.

"Yeah, yeah, of course" Kurt nodded.

"Don't forget to call me" Blaine said as he slowly backed away from Kurt.

"I won't. I promise" Kurt said.

Blaine smiled at him one more time before leaving the office. Once he was on the corridor again, he quickly turned right and practically ran to the exit. He did it. Although it was hard like hell to come here and face Kurt, he did it. They were friends which was far better than Blaine had expected and he knew for sure that Kurt would call him. It was just the matter of time. Kurt needed someone to talk about his past and Blaine hoped that he would be that person. Kurt had helped him a lot with his baby girl. It was time to give him something in return, even if it meant losing his chances with Kurt.

Who knew, maybe one day, if he was patient enough, Kurt would be ready for more. At least he had time to become a better person, someone who was good enough for Kurt.