A/N: I just want to say how much I appreciate the reviews and overall interest in this story. It means a lot to hear back from you guys. Reviews are always welcomed but more than that, I'm so happy you all seem to like it. I wanted this chapter up sooner but writer's block kicked in once more. Tell me what you think! Special thanks to Covetedoutcomes. If you haven't been reading her stories, I highly recommend you do. She's wonderful and has been so helpful throughout the process of this fanfic.
"I take it you had a pretty good weekend then, huh?" Katie asked Clare who sat at her desk, a soft smile on her face as she daydreamed.
"What? I mean, yeah. I did. I had a great weekend, thanks," she mumbled, embarrassed she'd been caught getting lost in her thoughts.
"Could a certain guy be behind this?"
"Yes, but not for the reasons you're thinking. We're just friends," Clare insisted though she had to wonder if the feelings were truly platonic at this point.
After her night with Eli, it seemed impossible to dislodge him from her thoughts. She reflected back on their time together, combing through each moment with a fine tooth comb and she was still left feeling unsure of what to think or feel. It was far too soon to tell if she genuinely liked him or if it was just merely a transient crush but she couldn't deny the fact that the possibility was tempting.
Eli was a great guy and every single minute of their hang out was one worth remembering. In any instance pertaining to guys, Clare was sure to speak to Alli about it. Her best friend was all ears as Clare recounted the night in full detail, wanting for Alli to know exactly how everything happened so she stood a better chance of helping her to make sense of it. Alli had fallen into the habit of calling it a date though Clare feared that heavy label. Going into it, they were under the pretense that it was simply a hang out but admittedly, it did have the characteristics of a date.
From the playfulness that Alli swore was flirting to Eli paying for her meal and walking her home to the fact that he had gone as far as to touch her face, Alli's verdict was final and clear. In Clare's honest opinion there was more to it than two people trying to get to know more about one another but with Eli it was hard to tell.
He was charismatic and sarcastic, two traits that Clare truly enjoyed in a person but when it came time to decipher their true emotions, it was difficult to say with certainty. His teasing could simply be just that and nothing more. In her heart, Clare could admit that she hoped there was more to it, that he felt that spark right before they parted ways.
The promise of having more nights like the one they experienced on Friday was thrilling and Clare couldn't wait until they'd be able to spend some more one on one time. It was borderline ridiculous how anxious she was to hear from him and silly how nervous she'd been that suddenly after a night with just the two of them he would decide it wasn't worth getting to know her.
But Eli stuck to his word and called her up the next day, the two speaking for a short while before he had to head in for rehearsals. Even just a few minutes was enough to sate her and bring her some peace of mind that things between them were going to have some merit to it. In such a short amount of time he had become someone she was almost reliant on, though it gave her reason to worry.
After things went south with Jake, the last thing Clare wanted to do was put too much stock into another guy or get wrapped in the notion that things would pan out. She certainly wasn't looking for a relationship, not so soon after getting dumped out of the blue but still, there was just something about Eli that was promising enough. After all, he was the one that had given her such solid advice that time in the office, even if it was secondhand.
His words still played back in her head to the point where it became her newest life mantra, one she adapted and propelled into her everyday life.
"Is it safe to assume it's that guy who dropped by here that day?" Katie prompted, raising a teasing brow at Clare before laughing.
"You're very good at what you do."
"That's why they pay me so well," she joked. "But in all seriousness, I'm glad things are picking up for you."
Clare nodded to herself, her mouth twisting to one side as she grew pensive. She was glad that Katie never harped on her breakup with Jake, never asking or prying on the details- not that there would have been many to divulge on.
Things with Jake were still at a complete standstill and Clare was truly ready to move past it. She knew she couldn't spend her days hoping he'd come around and tell her what had gone wrong in their relationship. Her quasi-date with Eli showed her that there was more to life than sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. It was the first time since the breakup that she'd felt liberated and she owed so much to the newest addition in her life.
"So am I. Nothing will ever be perfect but I can't have that hanging over my head forever," she said confidently, sitting up straighter in her seat.
Katie didn't respond with words, instead offering up a warm smile before turning her attention back to her screen and resumed typing.
Clare kept her eyes on her though, her head tilting a bit.
"That's a beautiful bracelet," she commented as the jewelry hit the light.
Katie paused, placing her hand over it and smiling again sheepishly. "Thank you. I've had my eyes on it for a while and now finally it's mine."
"Very good eye you have there, Miss Matlin."
Shaking her head, Clare laughed softly before focusing back on her work, the two falling back into a comfortable silence as they worked on their pieces. Her column wasn't limited to just the magazine but online as well. Clare's inbox was stuffed with so many questions, it was a bit overwhelming to look at but now that her mind was in a better place, she felt more confident in tackling it.
Eli, perhaps without meaning to be or even being aware, was the antidote she had been in need of. He'd come into her life at such a pivotal time in the most unconventional of ways but something between the two of them worked well together. It was always comfortable around him and that was something that Clare appreciated most of all. He brought a sense of clarity into her life when she needed it most and because of that, she felt almost indebted to him though she was sure he'd beg to differ.
Working through the mountain of messages that had taken up residence inside her inbox, Clare powered through for an hour, only pausing once it hit after one.
"Hey, I'm going to grab lunch. Do you want anything?" she asked Katie as she signed out of her email and saved her Word document.
"Oh, I'm fine now but thanks. I'll probably snag something later on."
Grabbing her purse, Clare placed it on her shoulder as she said her goodbyes to Katie and headed for the elevator. The office was relatively busy today, she noted. It seemed as if everyone was working hard on an article or fact checking. Times like this, she was glad she did advice, not needing to really interact with anyone else. She was free to pick up and go a lot faster or even work from home if she wanted.
But there was something about being able to get up each day and leave the house that was far more appealing than sitting around all day in her pajamas giving her two cents to the people of Toronto that flocked to The Edge. It was strange to her at times just how devoted people were to the magazine and to her column as well but it was flattering to say the least.
Her whole life Clare aimed to do right by people, always the first one to volunteer to lend a helping hand. She knew her work wasn't as groundbreaking as doing a peace keeping mission in a third world country but she knew she had the power to change the lives of people in the city by helping them through their issues.
She tackled everything from relationships, to professions, to body image issues. It gave her the chance to take stock of her own life and put things into perspective. She always felt a sense of accomplishment when she'd get letters back from people, updates on how her advice had actually paid off. It was the most gratifying aspect to running her column. It was important for her to hear back and see the strides her readers had taken in their lives.
Pressing the arrow down, Clare waited for the elevator to arrive before stepping onto it and heading down to the lobby.
Her feet made soft sounds against the floor as she walked across before opening the doors and getting sucked into the hustle and bustle of the city. Her first goal was to get a bite to eat. Going to the little café on the corner, Clare ordered herself a sandwich and took it to go. She felt restless for some reason, eager to extend her break and take advantage of it.
As she weaved through the throngs of people on the street, Clare was still undecided on where she wanted to go until her eyes caught sight of what she considered to be a personal oasis.
Nestled in between a music shop and a restaurant, Clare spotted her destination. Since her breakup with Jake she had been taking to reading more but knew it couldn't hurt to visit another bookstore and see what she could find inside. At this point in time she was ready to ready it all and maybe even indulge in an old love of hers, vampire based novels. It was a guilty pleasure back in high school and while she had kicked the habit and upgraded to finer pieces of literature, a part of her would always have a soft spot for it.
Reaching for the handle, Clare pulled the door and opened and stepped inside. At once she appreciated the silence of the store, a far cry from how hectic things had been only moments before outside. She paused as she drew in a breath before deciding to wander about. She knew she had time to kill, the vast majority of her work for the day already squared away.
Heading to the fiction section first, she took her time as she scanned the covers of each book, waiting to see if one would somehow catch her eye. But before she could get too engrossed in her search, she felt her phone buzzing in her purse, the dull sound just low enough not to disturb anyone.
She fished for it, running into her keys, wallet and other random objects until she made contact with it, pulling the device out. A smile crept to her lips as she saw Eli's name flashing across the screen, drawing in a quick breath before she answered.
"Hello?"
"Clare, hey," he greeted, almost as if he'd been caught off guard.
"You do realize you called me, right? Why the tone of surprise?"
"Must have butt dialed you or something. Easy mistake to make. Kidding. I know I called you. I just wasn't expecting you to pick up."
Clare's brows knitted together as she tried to make sense of his words. "I'm not so sure I'm following you on that one, Goldsworthy."
"I meant, I thought you'd be at work or something so I was expecting to leave you a voicemail."
"Well, sorry to disappoint but you'll have to settle for the real thing."
"I consider that to be a great consolation."
Her heart thudded a bit more at his words, despite her attempt not to get fazed by his words. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
"I was calling to see if you were free tomorrow night. Adam would like to meet you. I figure since I met your best friend, it's only fair that you should meet mine…if you want to, of course," he amended.
It was hard to tell but Clare was sensing a bit of nervousness on his part. All the same she was flattered by the offer. She had heard so much about this infamous Adam Torres that she actually felt as if she knew him already. A small part of her worried that he wouldn't like her. Getting the best friend seal of approval was important to her, no matter how much she tried telling herself she didn't like Eli as more than just a friend. But from all that Eli had to say about this guy who was like family to him, she knew those concerns were for nothing.
"Feeding me to the wolves, Goldsworthy?" she teased, picking up a book at random to keep herself busy as she spoke. "That sounds like fun though. I've been curious about this Adam fellow. I hope I won't make for too poor a showing. I wouldn't want to disappoint somehow."
"Damn right I am. You got too comfy, Edwards. You only have yourself to blame," he joked. "Really? Alright, great. I'll let Adam know you're up for it. Trust me when I say, Adam is the most laidback person you will ever encounter in your life. If anything, I should be warning you about the shitload of comic book references you'll have to endure for the night." He fell silent for a moment and Clare wondered what he might have been thinking. "You could never disappoint, Clare."
His tone was genuine and she could tell he was speaking from the heart, Clare trying to picture what his expression might have been like. It reminded her of when he had walked her home, the soft look in his eye as he tucked her hair behind her ear. Thinking on it now, her memory of it was just as vivid despite the fact that a few days had passed. It had been a while since she got that good nervous feeling in her stomach, like anything could happen.
"You'd think I would have learned my lesson by now when it comes to you. Shame on me, right?" Shaking her head, she put back the book, walking slowly down the aisle as she continued to browse and talk. "Thanks for the heads up. My knowledge on that stuff is nonexistent so hopefully he'll be too busy talking about it to notice I'm not saying anything." She couldn't help but wonder if there was something more to his words but to be on the safe side, she did her best to remain neutral. "That means a lot coming from you; thanks."
"One of these days you'll catch on but for my sake, I hope it's not soon. You're welcome. I figure it was the least I could do. When he gets going on one of his rants, he'll tune everything out so I think you'll get away with it." Another short pause ensued and Clare was about to question him on it before he piped up. "I don't know if my take on it should count for much."
"I'll see what I can do though I think it'd be wise of me not to feed into that ego of yours. Ah, I see. That's the equivalent of Alli going into detail about clothing. I've built up a great defense against it," she laughed. "Why do you say that?"
"My ego has a mind of its own. It's a dangerous thing, I'll tell you that much. Ha, poor you. At least I actually enjoy comics. I don't think I'd last five minutes talking to her if that's the case so kudos to you." Clare could hear him sigh softly on the other end of the line. "I'm nothing to fuss over, that's why. Point is, you're a great girl and Adam is going to like you. Anyone would be able to say the same thing."
"I'll take your word for it. I'll never understand guys' love affair with that stuff. I've had to put up with Al since high school. You learn to get used to it." She stopped in her tracks, shifting her weight on the balls of her feet. "I think you're selling yourself short on this. You're a wonderful guy, Eli. Honestly. I wish you could see that."
She cursed her luck for not being with him now, wishing more than anything that she was with him now so he could see just how serious she was. This was the first time they were being so outright with how they perceived one another and in a case like this, she wanted her views on him to really reach him. It wasn't all talk on her end but now she had to wonder if maybe she had crossed the line as his silence lingered a bit longer.
"Thanks, Clare," he said simply which drove her crazy.
Toying with her necklace, she bit down on her lip as she nodded. "You're welcome."
"I think I made things awkward, sorry. But…do you still want to go through with this meet up?"
"It's fine, really. I'm just trying to understand what happened is all. But yes, I really want to hang out again and meet Adam as well."
"You didn't do anything wrong if that's what you're thinking. I had a great time with you on Friday and I am looking forward to seeing you…and of course you getting the chance to meet Ad," he tacked on, more like an afterthought.
"So long as you're sure. So, this meeting," Clare said a bit brightly, hoping to ease some of the heaviness that had fallen over them. "What's the game plan?"
"I'm positive. Just trust me on that one. As for tomorrow night, I was thinking you could come over for dinner- unless the idea of heading over to the apartment of two guys weirds you out. In that case, we could grab dinner at a restaurant or something."
"I trust you. Hmm, I sincerely doubt my life will be in danger but I'll still take the chance and risk it. I'd love to come over. I just hope your cooking is better than your sales pitch."
"Ouch! That broke my heart, woman. I happen to be a decent chef. Adam hasn't died yet so I'm guessing that's promising. Dinner will go off without a hitch, I promise."
"Once again, I implore you to work on delivery. Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow night. Is seven good?"
"I'll add it to my to-do list but yes, seven would be perfect. Until tomorrow, Edwards."
Smiling to himself, Eli kept a hold on his phone, looking at the screen until it went black. His hand trembled slightly, the product of nerves and adrenaline. He hadn't been expecting to talk to Clare, so sure she would be tied up at the office and working at this hour. He knew it was a cowardice approach but he wasn't sure what her reaction would be. Eli knew he was being ridiculous. Their hang out on Friday had been exceptional but therein laid the problem.
Things had gone perfectly and by the end of it all Eli had to fight with himself not to close the space between them and kiss her. He couldn't stop himself from getting a bit affectionate, cupping her chin to hold her gaze or daring to tuck a loose curl behind her ear because he couldn't pass up the chance of getting closer to her. As if his mind hadn't been swimming with thoughts of her before, Friday night only served to cement that fact once and for all. Clare was perfect, nothing short of it in his eyes. She was beautiful and fun to be around. Even if she took herself a bit seriously at times, she was capable of cutting loose and stepping out of her comfort zone.
In many ways she challenged him as well- it was just unknown to her. He wasn't supposed to fall for anyone but clearly Clare was the exception, the one thing he hadn't seen coming. Now she was taking up residence in his life and Eli found himself making room for her. For years he'd been trying his best to push people away, shutting down the possibility of finding someone that made it all worthwhile.
But meeting Clare was an accident and falling for her wasn't a choice. He could see now that this was entirely out of his hands. Clare was just that special, just that sensational that he couldn't help but be attracted to her.
It caught him off guard when she spoke so highly of him, like he truly meant something to her. He knew she was just being nice but knowing she saw him in such a positive light made him feel nervous. His biggest fear now was running the chance of letting her down, of doing or saying something that would make her change her mind. He worried she was becoming too attached to him but at this point, he was already craving her time and attention. He felt so out of practice in the romantic field but with Clare, he was picking things up far faster than he would have imagined.
Pocketing his phone, Eli sighed as he stood in front the window in his office, watching as the traffic passed by.
"Ahem," someone called, falsely clearing their throat.
Eli jumped slightly, turning around to see Fiona standing in the doorway with her arms folded across her chest and a smirk on her face.
Automatically Eli knew this wouldn't end well for him. He knew that look all too well but still couldn't mentally prepare himself for the talk he was certain would follow this exchange now. Nothing got in Fiona's way when she wanted to talk about something and his newly resurrected love life, or something to that effect, was sure to be hot topic worth discussing in her eyes.
"How much did you hear?" he asked, raising a brow at her and mirroring her stance.
"It wasn't like I was trying to listen," she started off, quick on the defense. "But if you're going to ask your crush out, you should really consider closing the door so your private business doesn't become public."
Stepping inside the room, she closed the door behind her, flourishing after the act for emphasis.
"See? Not so hard."
Eli made a face at her before ushering her to take the seat in front his desk as he crossed the room and sat on the edge of the table. It was littered in papers, schedules, his copy of the script with annotations scribbled in his quick hand jotting, his iPod and a half drunken cup of cold coffee. While he played a key role in this production, he still felt like the same old Eli he'd always been. He was the furthest thing from organized but there was a method to his madness, even if other people couldn't quite see it.
"It's not a date, Fi," he said. It seemed like that was his response to everything these days. It hadn't been a date on Friday but it ended up feeling like one. And if he were being honest, he was hoping to have another moment with her similar to the one they shared outside her door.
"Oh, right. Sure. I totally believe that."
"I'm serious. She's coming over to meet Adam. I talk about them enough to the other. I think it's about time they meet. Besides, I think Adam is jealous you got to meet her before he did," he laughed, remembering the scowl on his friend's mouth when he came home the day of his interview and recounted his day.
Fiona's eyebrows rose at his news, an amused smile working its way to her face.
"So you guys are on that level now? To have her over for dinner and introducing her to your best friends? This one just might be a keeper," she teased with a wink.
"Fi, you're going to be the death of me, single handedly, I swear it. I thought it would be a good idea…but is it too soon? We've been friends for a few weeks now. I didn't think there was any harm to it and she seems to be looking forward to it," he prattled.
"Whoa, breathe! I was just messing with you. I think it's the perfect time. You all are pretty close and she's a great girl. And so gorgeous. I love her eyes."
"Easy there, Miss Coyne. If I wasn't mistaken I'd think you liked her more than I do."
"Aha! So you do like her then, yes? It's about time you actually said the words. C'est si mignon! This is so, so adorable. Are you blushing?"
"Alright, alright. I give, I do like her. You met her. It'd be crazy if I didn't. She is beautiful and that's just putting it mildly. But it's more than that, you know? We just get along so well. I like how it feels to be around her, even if I'm always nervous I'll screw it up." He shot her a playful glare. "It must be a trick of the light. I do not blush."
"I'm really happy for you. You have this amazing feature coming up, opening night is just around the corner. And to top it all off, you might land yourself a girlfriend. The universe is loving you right now, I'm jealous." She rolled her eyes and laughed. "Whatever. I still say that you are."
"I'm not sure where all this good luck is coming from but I don't want to piss it all away. I'm still in a daze over the feature. I probably won't believe it's happening until I get the magazine in my hands. Even then I'll still be in denial, knowing me. It actually feels like the pieces are coming together but I don't want to jinx that so knock on wood before it all goes to hell," he said, rapping his knuckles against his desk.
"It's more so to do with the hard work you've been putting in than anything else. You've been directing since you were in high school and writing for years before that. Now it's all paying off and it's well deserved. We'll have to celebrate when the magazine comes out because that's major. Better yet, we'll have a party at my place on opening night to celebrate both! Ugh, so much planning but so worth it. And it's the perfect excuse to get two new dresses," she gushed, her eyes wide at the prospect.
Eli rolled his eyes, knowing he lost her on her tangent but her first words were what brought a smile to his face. It always made him feel humbled when people made commentary on all that he had done over the years. It was a true labor of love that was now coming into fruition. Even in the times when Eli had to wonder if it was nothing more than a waste of time or a silly dream to think he would somehow make a name for himself in the theatre world, he never lost sight of his dream and pushed forward with it. The support from his family and friends proved to be the greatest motivation of all. It didn't matter to him if a thousand people saw his plays or just those closest to him. All that really counted was that he was satisfied with the end result and that his loved ones enjoyed it.
"It's just surreal is all. I'll find a way to get used to this fanfare. I get why you want to celebrate but it's one party. Why do you have to have two dresses?"
Fiona sat back and stared at him blankly, Eli meeting her gaze with a confused expression. "I'm serious. I don't get it," he reiterated.
"Oh my god, Elijah. We're celebrating two different things. An outfit change is pretty much mandatory. Oh, and I will be picking your outfit for that night because I know you'll want to change out of your play get up the second the curtain closes. This may be your play and you may be the guest of honor but I refuse to let you show up in a band shirt and skinny jeans like you just got back from a day of shopping at Hot Topic," she huffed, adjusting the silk scarf around her neck.
Eli couldn't help but laugh at the usage of his full name, knowing she only reserved that treatment when she was genuinely appalled by something he did or said. He shrugged his shoulders as she broke into her explanation, feigning hurt at her comment.
"I'll have you know Hot Topic is actually a pretty good store. If I'm the guest of honor, shouldn't I get free range on how I want to dress? I'm not a Ken doll, Fi. You can't dress me up any time you want."
"Um, no. It's not. It's so dark in there and the music they play would give anyone a headache. I can't believe you step foot in a shady place like that. It's horrid," she shuddered. "Ha! That was really cute, Eli. Presentation is everything. Everyone will be in formal wear. Combat boots and graphic tees will not make the cut," she said resolutely.
"You're seriously cutting me deep. There's nothing wrong with the lighting and the music is always good. Sometimes I wonder how we're even friends," he said in jest. "All your chi-chi boutiques make me cringe so I guess we're even on that one." He threw his hands up in exasperation. There was no getting through to her. "Goddamn, fine. Nothing stiff and uncomfortable. Nothing bright either. I like black, gray, blue and I'll throw you a bone on dark red. But that's it."
"Trust me, I've been asking myself that question every single day since we've met," she countered in a far off tone as if she were lamenting the fact. "Those boutiques are so pretty. You don't know what you're talking about but fine. We'll call it even." She clapped her hands together, bouncing up and down in her seat. "I know the drill by now. Honestly, Eli. I thought you would realize I always get my way. Will you be inviting Clare to this? Please say yes."
"Cute, really," he deadpanned. "We'll just have to agree to disagree. After all these years, I don't think we'll ever see things the same way." An audible scoff emitted from his mouth at how excited she was. "I like to protect my ego by feeling as if I put up a fight against you. Let me have this moment, yeah? I want Clare to be there. She said she's coming opening night so definitely; I'll let her know about this when she comes over tomorrow night."
"You and that pride. Tsk, tsk. But fine, I'll grant you this one wish." Crossing her legs, Fiona smiled brightly. "You two are spending so much time together. You didn't tell me how Friday went but I'm guessing very well if you're seeing her again so soon."
"How gracious of you." Letting out a sigh, Eli nodded. "We are and it still doesn't feel like enough. I always want to hang out with her. It's getting a bit crazy but I like it. Friday was incredible. We had drinks, did karaoke, got food and I walked her home."
"Did you kiss her?"
"What? No, I didn't. That would have been too soon and I wouldn't want to freak her out."
"So what you're saying is, you wanted to?"
Eli looked at her for a moment before dropping his gaze. "I wanted to. More than anything but it wouldn't have been right," he said finally, both hands gripping the edge of the table. "I don't want to rush her or overstep somehow. Clare's sort of the best thing that's come into my life in years. I messed up with Julia and Imogen. I cared too much and put a lot of faith into things. I don't want to pressure her. I don't even know if she likes me as more than a friend but I'm hoping so because I definitely felt something that night."
"The world would be a much better place if more guys were like you. You're very sweet, Eli. And from the way she was looking at you the other day, I think it's safe to say the feelings are mutual. Yes, her boyfriend recently left her but these things don't have a timeline. If you're lucky enough to find someone that you care about and they feel the same way, hold onto it and don't let it go. Even just being friends is fine because that could seriously end up as a relationship at some point in time when you're both ready. I know you, Eli. You're scared to give this your all but no risk, no reward. She makes you happy and I know you do the same for her. It's all sorts of adorable."
"More guys like me? Jaded guys with wounded hearts? I'm failing to see the appeal in that."
He listened to her reasoning, unable to truly believe that Clare would have a remote interest in him. But if Fiona could see things from an outsider's perspective and draw that conclusion, Eli had to wonder if there was some truth to it.
"We've both been hurt before. Clare doesn't deserve to go through something like that again and I feel as if I can trust her not to screw me over either. Friday was one of the best nights I've had in a long time. I think we need each other a lot more than we even realize now. It's not adorable…she is. God, she's perfect," he laughed in spite of himself, dropping his head in his hands before looking at Fiona.
She patted his knee and giggled. "I've missed this Eli so much. Bashful, nervous and yes, adorable," she stressed, smiling. "It sounds like you two are seriously hitting it off. The most important thing is keeping the friendship which obviously you all will do since it's going so well. You're going to end up falling in love with this girl one of these days, aren't you?"
"I could see it happening. But first, I need to know if she truly likes me back."
