Boredom is Blue
Chapter Nine
Nya's P.O.V
I'm so hungry. I haven't eaten for at least three days. Ken tried to slip me some bread, but she was caught stealing it, and had to spend a night in the 'hot box,' which she told me was a small metal box that is sitting in the desert. It gets super hot in there. It's used as punishment and sounds really horrible. But from Ken telling me this, I know that I'm in the desert somewhere. I wonder how they keep this dungeon so cold. Sorcery, I tell you.
Ken tried to tell me it wasn't my fault, but I still feel very guilty about her punishment. But I'm just so hungry! Three days is a long time to go without food. And what is worse is that every now and then Nix stops by, usually eating some kind of delicacy. She's a real bitch, actually.
I'm starting to lose track of the minutes, hours, days. It's all blurred together; the only unit I have to measure time is in stomach rumbles. This sucks, but I won't give in. There's no way I'm going to join the Amazons, or even pretend to join them to escape. It's stupid, I know, but my pride won't allow me to stoop that low, even for freedom. Ha, but I might change my mind if I don't get some food soon.
"Nya!" A friendly, but strangely quiet voice for Ken, calls out to me. Ken's great, but subtle, she is not. That's why it's weird to hear her being quiet. She's usually loud and feisty. Turning to greet her, a happy smile on my face, I see her sad face.
"Ken, what's wrong?" I ask, really worried; it's not like Ken to get sad for no reason. Something bad must have or will happen.
"I-I've been reassigned," she replies, looking down and not meeting my eye.
"Reassigned where?"
"I've been taken off prison guard duty and placed on patrol."
I feel like I'm going to cry. I won't be able to see Ken anymore, a woman who's quickly becoming a very good friend. I'll miss her so much. This is Nix's doing, the fucking cow. God, she's probably going to put a real bitch on guard duty from now on. Ken finally meets my worried gaze. Even after telling me this, I can feel like there is something more troubling her. Patiently waiting for her to tell me, I calmly stare at her.
Ken sighs, "Normally, I wouldn't have been worried going on patrol. I've done it before. But, lately, most of the women that go out on patrol haven't been coming back. Nix and her lieutenants have been in a mad panic, and have started to only send the troublemakers out, in larger groups. I suppose that's why they're sending me. I don't know if I'll ever see you again, Nya. I'm sorry; I have to be ready to leave in five minutes. I came to say goodbye."
Oh, god. Who's taking the Amazons out? Who would be able to take so many… oh. The Ninja. Turning my face to hide my smile, I say farewell. I don't want to tell her not to worry, that the Ninja won't kill her, because I'm scared that her being relieved will tip the bad guys off. She'll just have to discover them herself. But I know I will be seeing Makenna again.
Jay's P.O.V
Blood drips slowly of the knuckles of my fist, staining the blue of my glove purple. Staining the pristine white snow beneath me, causing steam to rise in smoky tendrils. I blankly stare in dull fascination. My hand begins to ache, no doubt bruised, but I don't think I've broken it. Another gloved hand is wrapped around my wrist, preventing me from landing more punches on the trembling figure beneath me.
I am straddled over this figure, realising as I begin to come back to myself that the person I have just beat to a pulp is a woman. Chilly inside my brain, cool logic informs me that it doesn't matter that this is a woman; she refused to tell me where Nya is. But somewhere, deep within me, something is screaming at me that what I've just done is disgusting and irreparably wrong.
"Jay, that's enough." The voice is cold and stern, unrecognisable to me still in my current state. "This is the last time. You will not be going with us on any more missions until Nya has returned."
"Cole, that isn't fair. I know, what he did was wrong, but I know we all want to take our anger out on something!" A passionate voice defends me.
"It does not matter that we can all empathise with him, Kai. The matter remains that he lacks the self-control to stop himself from wreaking havoc. We know that this is not who he is, but do others? If this gets out, if more people are hurt, it could ruin our reputation as honourable defenders of Ninjago," a calm voice says melodically, logically and practically.
"So we care more about our reputation than our own brother?!"
"No, that is not what I meant. Our people need to trust us. If they cannot trust us to be just in our actions, how can they trust us to keep them safe?"
A desperate growl, before "I guess I can understand that. But, making him stay home while we try to save Nya will destroy him."
"We know. However, I really don't see we have any other option. We can't control him; he's too fast. He had already broken this Amazon's collarbone by the time we realised he'd gone. Look at him, Kai! Jay isn't even in there right now!"
"Cole, we just need to help him!"
"The only one who can help him is Nya!"
A hand slightly colder than average human temperature touches my shoulder and pulls me to my feet. Icy eyes of the palest grey stare into mine, the look in them slightly pleading. My eyes stare back, but me, Jay is far away, pushed into the back of my mind, screaming and thinking up corny jokes about our, my, situation. I try to claw myself back into control, to awaken, to become me again.
"Jay is not here right now, but he is trying," the mouth under the grey eyes informs the other figures. His name. I know his name. What is it? Zara? No, that's a chick's name. Zach? No. Zane? That's it! Zane!
"Z-Zane?" I croak. A happy smile creases his mouth.
"That is correct, brother. Are you back with us?"
"I… I'm not sure. Where-where did I go?"
"Only you can answer that, Jay."
"I can answer that, Zane," Lloyd pipes up for the first time since I started to pay attention to the conversation. "He went to Nutso town," he continues, circling his finger around his ear in the universal signal for crazy. Cole smacks the back of his head, shaking his head firmly. Lloyd grumbles and rubs his head, but shuts up.
Then I take notice of the broken person on the ground. Not dead, truly not even close, but pretty badly hurt nonetheless. Oh god, who did that? Did-did I do that? Why did I do that?! I try to peer back into the mind frame I was in ten minutes ago, but it's gone. I lift my hand and drag it harshly through my hair, threatening to pull some from the roots. But then I realise that all I had just done was put her blood in my hair. Oh, jeez, that's gross and really unhygienic. How will I ever be able to face Nya again?
Tears fall from my eyes. I'm such a mess. How did it come to this? This is crazy. I'm crazy. Zane's arm wraps around my shoulder, silent comfort.
"Jay, I'm sorry, man, but the way you are now, you're unpredictable. We can't take you on these missions anymore." Cole's face is serious, but also sad and sympathetic. Guilty that I put him in this position, I nod.
"Cole, he's okay now! He can keep coming with us," Kai exclaims, waving his hands around.
"No, I can't," I say so quietly it's almost a whisper. "I feel like me now, but I don't know if I can stop myself from becoming cold again. I'm honoured that you defend me, brother, but I can't trust myself at the moment."
Kai's face is desperate, but understanding slowly sinks in. I'm not worried about him becoming cold, like I was, because it's not who he is. Kai is always passionate. He's pure flame. Me, I'm lightning. I know I'm passionate, too, but unlike Kai, I have the ability to be practical, clinical. And that part of me terrifies me.
"Hey, guys! I don't think this guy's breathing!" Lloyd, who with the mentality of the twelve year old he no longer looks like, had become bored and wandered off. He's now shouting at us while crouching over a body we hadn't noticed, so caught up in my drama. Zane quickly heads over, crouching beside the man and lifts his wrist to check for a pulse.
"He's dead," Zane announces, sadness and guilt in his voice. Sadness for the loss of life, guilt at not paying attention and finding him sooner. We all feel the same way. Especially me; if I hadn't gotten all crazy, I might've noticed him in the shadows in time to save him. Cole sees this in each of this, must have seen it, because otherwise he wouldn't have asked his next question.
"Zane, can you pinpoint the time and cause of death?"
Zane's eyes widen; Cole had never asked this of him before. None of us have. Honestly, it's probably because we don't often come across dead bodies. But I understand Cole's reasoning. If the man had died before we had gotten here, then while sad, there was nothing we could have done and it wouldn't have been our fault. But if he died while we stood here talking, the guilt in each of us would increase tenfold. It was a risk, to be sure, and if he died while we were right there, we will need some serious counselling. Including (especially) me.
Sensei Wu would have been a good counsellor. I can just imagine it, me lying on a weird faux leather couch/lounger while he pries into my childhood with deceptively gentle questions, blaming the normal experiences for my lack of self-control in my current situation. Oh, yeah, Sensei was definitely a counsellor in another life. Wait, did they have counsellors all those years ago, before Sensei was born? Cause, Sensei's so old. And it really doesn't make sense, because Garmadon is his older brother, but Wu looks 70 while Garmadon (while good) only looks about 45. So strange. Where the hell was I going with this?
Kind of relieved that I'm starting to behave like my old self, even though it's only in my thought pattern, I look back to Zane only to realise that he's already scanned the body. Damn, I really wanted to see that. I always find it cool when Zane does robot things. I guess the almighty Author was too tired and couldn't be bothered describing what it would be like (wink wink). It's not fair that I have to miss out, though. Jeez, you're so mean to me.
Moving on. Now that it seems like I'm back to my old self, I really can't shut up. Jay, you're meant to be paying attention right now. Focus.
"He died of blunt force trauma to the head, died instantly."
We don't breathe a sigh of relief, a man still died, even if we could do nothing about it.
"I think that the murder weapon, for it was indeed murder, would be that mace near to where the Amazon lies. She must have dropped it when Jay attacked," Zane concludes decisively.
"So, there really was nothing we could do. Jay must've come across her as she killed him."
Foggy memories of a man's screams, a woman's laughter as she lowers her weapon, hitting his head in a quiet, but deafening thud, cloud my mind. Clutching my head, my stomach churns as I realise I had witnessed homicide, before going so cold with fury that I mindlessly but powerfully attacked the murderer. Holy hell.
"Did you, Jay?" Cole asks softly.
"Yeah. Yeah, I did," I whisper, death still very much centre of my head.
"Shit. Well, I guess it is understandable that you went nuts for a minute. Hell, I probably would've ended up killing this miserable excuse for a person. Turns out, you have more restraint than I have. I have no right to keep you from missions." Cole sounds sorry, probably guilty about judging me so harshly.
"No, you were right to order me away from them, before we all knew the truth," I still cannot raise my voice above a whisper. "I do not blame you."
Cole nods, before looking around in the snow around him. "I don't think that their base is in the North, in any case. She looks like a lone scout. We will head home for now, and begin our search in the South." Looking in disgust at the depressing winter scenery around him for a last time, he whistles for E-Dra (Elemental Dragon, for those of you have forgotten that abbreviation).
We lift both the Amazon, after wrapping her in tight bindings, and the man onto the dragon, before leaving the cold of the North.
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Katy's Note: Hey! Jeez, got intense again, didn't it? To explain myself, I wanted Jay to have a bit of a dark side (the "clinical" side, as he calls it) and wanted it to portray itself violently, but also show that it doesn't consume him, because he fights it. Nobody likes a perfect hero, am I right? Sorry if you found this chapter a bit sad, it surprised even me. Don't worry, I think this is a real turning point for Jay and he'll start to be more of himself again.
Sorry, I don't think I will answer reviews right now, just know that all of them, even the short ones, are very, very appreciated. I love to hear your feedback, it makes me very happy to hear what you liked (and even what you didn't like), your ideas and opinions. You guys should know: fanfiction writers are addicted to reviews.
With the Who-Will-Ken-Fall-In-Love-With game, no one has got it yet! So keep guessing, and to make it a little trickier, you have to give a valid reason of why you think that. E.g. "I think Ken will end up with Sensei Wu because she seems like the kind of woman who likes long, majestic beards." Like that. Just to remind you, the stakes are that the first person to guess correctly (with a good reason) will get to name Lloyd's book. Woo, big prize, I know.
Okay, I think that's it from me! I hope you liked the chapter, all reviews are appreciated, good luck guessing and have a fantastic Christmas!
Katy out.
