It takes me longer than I'd care to admit to remember that I don't have a car right now.
It's in a junkyard somewhere I'm sure.
I can't help but take a brief moment to mourn my precious Hybrid. Q, as I'd named him, was a good car, better than reliable, and got great gas mileage to boot. Thank God for insurance because otherwise, I'd be up shit creek without a paddle. I still owe a lot of money on that loan.
I make a mental note to contact my insurance agent on Monday.
I'm going to need that payout for sure.
My phone's clasped in my trembling hand, and I know I'm purposely distracting myself. Letting my mind wander in every direction except his. Which of course is completely futile because he's swimming right at the top of all my thoughts.
Eric.
I dunno why I'm so nervous. He'd said he'd be waiting for me and I believe he meant it wholeheartedly. But here I am, feeling like I've passed a "Do you like me? Yes or no?" note to the boy I like and I'm waiting for his response.
Dreading it, in fact.
In my previous experience, the answer has always been no.
I'm not stupid, I know my low self-esteem had allowed Bill to snake his way into my life – promising hearts and flowers. With wildly lavish proclamations and declarations of love, to boot. I'd been amazed someone like him could even like someone like me.
Gosh, I was so pathetic, and basically freaking blind.
Yeah, now I know that someone like him liked someone like me because I was so naïve and kind, innocent as all get out and willing to take everything he said at face value.
Because I loved the idea of love.
And I'd just wanted it so desperately.
Maybe that's why I'm pretty much afraid to call Eric right now. Because I already trust him so much – with my life – and that scares me to death. I've tumbled down that rabbit-hole before and I'm not sure I've got the heart, or mental fortitude, to do it again…
Okay, seriously, I'm not this pathetic anymore.
It's time to woman up, Sookie.
Ring! Ring!
I dial Eric's number before I give myself anymore chances to chicken out.
"Sookie?"
He sounds confused and sleepy, like maybe I've woken him up from a nap or something.
"Can you come over?"
My voice shakes much more than I mean for it to.
Maybe what just almost happened with Bill is finally hitting home for me.
"Of course," he responds, suddenly sounding ten times more alert, "Pam texted me your address earlier, so I'll be there in a flash, lilla du."
He says it really quietly, but I hear it all the same.
Lilla du.
That resonates with me for some reason.
Echoes inside me like the whisper of something trying to break free.
"Okay, Speed Racer…"
I tease without thinking, the nickname feeling achingly familiar as it rolls mindlessly off my tongue.
That shakes something loose inside of me too.
And I get a glimpse of a memory – nothing terribly long – of Eric.
Kissing my cheek. Holding my hand.
"I missed you…"
He says, blue eyes peering into mine.
Then something inside me just…
Snaps.
"Sookie?"
I vaguely hear Eric ask, his voice tinny and distant – like he's trying to talk to me while we're both underwater.
We're not, of course, but we may as well be as loud as my heart's pounding in my ears.
A trickle of images suddenly becomes a torrential flood.
Moments, touches, looks.
It all comes back to me, slamming into me with a force that knocks me from my feet.
"Sookie?!"
I grab my dropped phone and cup it gently against my cheek.
"I missed you too, Eric!"
I choke out amidst my sobs as my chest burns with longing – not pain.
"Oh gosh, Eric. I really fucking missed you too."
He gets here in what feels like a heartbeat.
Okay, but not really – after several minutes of pounding ones, but it's quick all the same.
I'm waiting on the porch, wringing my hands while I sit in one of my Gran's straw rocking chairs – wondering as his too-fast-looking car kicks up dust on our gravel drive if he's figured it out.
"You… remember me?"
Eric asks incredulously, his eyes flitting across my face as he takes large strides to cross the short space between us.
He has figured it out.
I'm simply too giddy to speak, so instead I nod – vigorously.
Suddenly I'm in his arms with his nose buried in my hair while his hands grasp at my sides like he's trying fuse the two of us into one.
I grip him hard too, pressing myself against his chiseled body like a woman on a mission.
He's completely right – we are NOT close enough.
I may as well be climbing him like he's a tree as I wrap my legs one by one around him, jumping up as he cups my butt to support me.
I feel like a wanton fairy goddess, eagerly seeking… nirvana.
This is SOOOOO not me.
But, also, it totally is.
Virgin, Sookie! You're a virgin!
I feel like I have to keep reminding myself before I do something I might regret.
Bullshit.
Like I'd ever regret sleeping with Eric.
But it's something I need to tell him, instead of letting him figure it out the hard way.
"Wait. Stop," I say out loud, trying to course correct myself more than Eric – although he noticeably tenses below me all the same, "I've…" Gosh, it's hard to admit, but nerves be damned, I soldier on anyways, "I've never done this before."
I'm worried he won't get my meaning – that he'll force me to out myself as a virgin – but as always, or at least in the short time I've known him, he continues to surprise me.
"Have you been… waiting for marriage?"
Thank God we can avoid that uncomfortable conversation.
Of course, now we're gonna awkwardly maneuver our way into the next one.
"No," I answer honestly, shaking my head vehemently – hoping he'll glom on to how truthful I'm being, "I guess maybe I've been waiting… for THE ONE. You know? For someone like you."
I whisper the last bit because it sounds sappy as hell – it IS sappy as hell – but it's true nonetheless.
On some level, I think I've always known that Bill wasn't the guy for me.
I was definitely waiting until I found the right man – Eric.
Suddenly, I'm more than aware that my legs are still wrapped tightly around his waist and my breasts are still pressed firmly against his heaving chest. My hips are lightly gyrating against the large bulge in his pants. I swear, either he's got a steel rod in his pocket or he's very happy to see me. Embarrassed as all get out, I blush profusely before launching myself away from him, mumbling half-hearted apologies as guilt swells up within me.
What is wrong with me?!
It's like I've lost all control of myself.
"Uh, uh, uh," Eric tuts playfully, closing the small distance between us with one stride, "the woman of my dreams just admitted I'm the man of hers. I'm never going to let her – you – go."
Swoon!
I'm back in his arms in less than a heartbeat.
Tha-thump tha-thump tha-thump.
It's beating wildly in my chest, threatening to burst from excitement – possibly love.
Love?
"How is this possible? We just met a couple days ago…" I muse quietly, burying my head in the crook of his shoulder and tugging my arms tightly around him – not really seeking an answer to my question, "We barely know each other…"
Eric adjusts his hold on my butt, ensuring I'm secure against him, and then starts walking us back towards my house.
Once we reach the door's threshold, he pauses.
"Someone very insightful, and stunningly beautiful I might add, once told me, that the universe is beyond our control."
"No fair, Mr. Northman," I say, playfully swatting his arm, earning a faux glare in the process – "using my own words against me."
I pout in response, jutting my lower lip out hard and cartoon-like.
Because I can, not because I'm actually feeling pouty.
"Oh yes, Miss Stackhouse," he purrs, sending shivers down my spine and straight to my core, "All is fair in love…"
"And war? Really? No Freud?"
I add cheekily, laughing so hard I'm pretty much shaking in his arms.
Everything is so easy with him.
"My my, Miss Stackhouse… How bold one gets when one is sure of being loved."
Oh my gosh, Eric knows obscure Siggy quotes.
Double swoon.
"Why, Mr. Northman," I state dramatically, fanning myself the hand I'm not using to cling to him as I accentuate my Southern drawl – really hamming it up, as my Gran would say, "I do believe you've just earned yourself one helluva kiss."
I lean in towards him, eyes closed and lips puckered – half-joking, but also beyond ready.
When his lips meet mine, I nearly combust right then and there.
Okay, I actually do.
Apparently I've been wound up THAT tight.
"You look like heaven when you come, lilla du," Eric enthuses, placing his forehead against mine as I come down from my orgasmic high – my breath erratic and short, "Can I take you inside, Sookie? I want to see that again."
Words have failed me, so I nod my head.
Oh yes please, Mr. Northman, make me see those flickering stars again.
"Where… do we… go from here?"
I ask Eric curiously, my chest heaving as I gasp for breath after what can only be described as the most exquisite orgasm I've ever experienced.
The ones I've given myself pale in comparison.
Seriously, THIS is what I've been missing?!
With a contented smile painted across my face, I delicately weave my fingers through his, without even bothering to raise my head, which is resting on his naked chest.
Yummy.
"Out on a proper date."
He responds confidently – triple swoon – before kissing the crown of my head before he hugs me impossibly closer.
We can't get close enough to one another, and I love it.
"Seriously, Sookie. This. Us. This is what I want."
"Me too."
I agree blithely, snuggling against him as I rub my cheek over the fine hairs bespeckling my man's nearly hairless chest.
Several moments pass in silence.
Our synced breaths are the only sounds permeating my bedroom space.
"But can we do this? I mean, really?"
I ask abruptly but with a hopeful tone, lifting up and away from him to a seated position – completely ignoring my nakedness.
I have nothing to be ashamed of.
"Lilla du," he pauses, taking a moment to brush his lips against my skin, "We can overcome anything so long as we're together. Because I love you," Quadruple swoon, "This," he motions between us, "was always meant to be."
"I love you too."
Sighing contentedly, I settle back down to nestle against him.
My mind's firing on all cylinders, still trying to take this all in.
It's crazy to think that the tiny little decision I'd made to surprise the man I'd foolishly committed myself to quite literally led me into the arms of another. To my actual true love. My soul mate. To Eric.
Truthfully, I can barely wrap my head around it.
All I know for sure is that fate really is a mysterious and crazy thing.
Oh Oh Ohhh Oh Oh Ohhh I'm falling
So I'm taking my time on my ride
Taking my time on my ride
-Ride by twenty one pilots
A/N: The. End! Thanks for reading!
Also, I'm happy to say that although I've been considering quitting fanfiction, due to RL BS, the biggest issue has finally been resolved! I've been struggling as the sole breadwinner for the past 4 months in my household, but no more, so YAY! I'm hoping my muse, once crazy stress fully dissipates, will return to me full force. Fingers crossed!
