Chapter 8: All I Want.
"Oh! Hey Katniss."
I jump at the sound of Peeta's voice as the bakery door slams shut.
I let out a shaky breath, glancing up from the bag I'm rummaging through. "Hi Peet-" I do a double take.
What I see causes my jaw to drop.
Bag forgotten, I walk towards the counter, with wide eyes, where Peeta stands behind.
"That bad, huh?" he asks.
"Uh, yeah. Really bad. H-how did you manage that?" I inspect his swollen black eye, resisting the urge to reach out and touch it.
The boy with the bread shifts on his feet, looking uncomfortable, and refusing to meet my eye. He shrugs. "Sometimes my brothers and I don't really agree. Look, Katniss, I also really wanted to say I'm sorry about how I acted back in the capitol. It was unfair of me and stupid and I was just jealous...as you can imagine. Or at least I think. But, I really hope you can accept my apology and maybe we can move on? You know, forget about it and stuff."
I nod absently, dismissing half he said. "Right, right, sure. Wait, so your brothers did this to you?"
"Um, yeah."
I give him an unconvinced look. "Do you and your brothers always give each other black eyes?"
Peeta sighs, drumming his fingers on the counter. "Does it matter?" he inquiries jokingly. "Guys will be guys. It's fine though, really."
"Okay," I reply slowly.
I'm rewarded a charming smile. "So what can I do for you?"
"Right, um..." I return searching through my bag before pulling out a crumbled piece of paper. "My mother gave this to me and I was supposed to place the order, but as you can see that didn't happen. I was handed this yesterday with the expectation of turning it in and my mother is needing this soon...which is actually today so...I..."
"I need to haul ass for you to have it by this evening," he finishes off.
"Exactly."
"Let me see it."
I slide the list to him allowing him to look it over. A moment later," I can do it. Free of charge."
"What? No. I'm going to pay you. It's fair that way."
Peeta sighs. "Katniss-" "I'm not letting this one up."
We stare each other down until finally the boy with the bread cracks.
"Fine. But you're getting a discount."
I nod, slinging my bag back over my shoulder. "See you around. And get some ice on that thing!"
The last thing I see is Peeta's wave of the hand.
Gale was everywhere.
It was almost like all of district twelve was mocking me to no end.
I heard a pair of boots and quickly spun around only to find it was one of his mining friends taking a stroll through town.
I spotted a clothing line and wash bucket-his mom's job is to take up people's laundry.
I saw a little girl huddling in the corner of some building-I could've sworn that it was Posy, but the hair color and shape weren't exactly right.
Then-above all things-I had made the stupid assumption that going to Madge's things would be clear. No such luck. It all just got so much worse.
Right as the back entrance of her house came into sight I saw that very boyfriend of mine exchanging some berries for money with the mayor.
He went hunting. Was my instant thought. He said just his morning we could go together.
It's Sunday.
Our day.
A pang of guilt and hurt rang through me once I saw him. One side of me commanded I run to him, embrace him tightly, and never let go. But the other part-the stubborn part-was capturing me still. It forced me not to be weak like Gale had said I was. To not give in. To allow him to come begging to me for forgiveness and not the other way around.
With emotions flying every which way I take off before he had the opportunity to turn around and see me standing a few yards away.
And now. Now I'm in the same situation, watching him eat a bowl of Greasy Sae's special at her bar. But this time I'm not running.
I came here for some God damn soup and I'm going to get my freaking God damn soup if it kills me! I can't allow him to run me out everywhere.
Holding my head up high I let out a huff, striding to the counter and flopping down on one of the seats two spaces away from Gale, attempting to make as much noise as I can while doing so.
He sees me instantly.
Out of the corner of my eye I catch his head snapping to the side where I sit. I make no move to acknowledge him even though I secretly want to stare back into those grey eyes.
From the other side of the bar Greasy Sae-taking notice of her new customer-turns to place my order. Upon seeing me through, shock and disbelief runs all across her face. Her eyes immediately slide to Gale then back at me then once more and again and again and again until finally she adds up the hostile behavior and high tension.
Pursing her lips she seems to give my boyfriend what seems to be an accusing look, like she's assumed the fight was his fault already.
With a toothy smile she looks to me. "Hello Katniss. How are you dear?" I grin back.
"I'm good. What about you?"
"Living," she replies simply. "What would you like?"
"Whatever the special of the day is."
"Alright. Squirrel leg berry soup coming right up." With that she disappears to make "food".
I can feel Gale's burning gaze piercing into the side of my head. I try desperately not to appear uncomfortable under his stare.
I remain stalk still for a good minute or so until my palms start to sweat and the blazing of his eyes begin to torment me. Taunting me to look back at them.
With the last ounce of residence sizzling out I eventually give up.
I slap my hand on the wood in front of me and twist around to face him, readying myself to shoot out a snarky comment.
But that all flies out the door once I take him in. To anyone else he would've been normal old Gale. Well...normal old attractive Gale, but for me, I can see through it all.
He looks to have aged slightly, his posture not as tall and broad, eyes worn, tired, and pleading. I can tell he's been running his hand through his hair a lot recently (which he does when he's upset) because it has that crazed mess to it making him look all the more stressed out.
I almost break.
The only thing keeping me straight is when his eyes clasp around mine, gripping me captive with a trance in his gaze.
I feel my features soften as I slowly melt into him.
He studies me sadly. His expression and body obviously protruding regret for what he's said.
Gale opens his mouth to speak but the slamming of a bowl on wood snaps me back to the real world.
With a violent jerk I rip apart from our moment, whirling to face Greasy Sae and my soup. "There ya are!" she exclaims with her hands on her hips, looking like she's just accomplished something big.
I'm about to reply when I feel the light but firm pressure of Gale's lips on my left temple.
I close my eyes briefly, relishing in the physical contact which I've seem to crave from him a ton more lately.
He keeps his lips pressed to the side of my head for what seems to be a beautiful eternity, but I know it was only for a few seconds.
It was a harmless kiss. Especially if someone's gotten the idea in their head that we're cousins. To them they'd assume it was a touching family exchange but to us, to me-it is so much more than that.
He pulls back, his face lingering close to mine still.
His voice comes out raspy and huskey. "I'm sorry," he murmurs. Gale straightens, barley hiding the conflicting emotions swimming around.
With his last parting words and no once more glance back he proceeds out of the market.
Rage.
Blinding, striking, smoldering, rage.
All I see is red.
Red. Red. Red.
Forcing the bowl in front of me back it goes propelling into the air, causing a loud crash to sound around the area.
"Oh, shit," Darius-who I hadn't noticed was sitting at the bar until now-swears. "You better run boy! Girl on fire is burning!" he chuckles lightly at his own joke which I immediately dismiss.
"Hey!" I call angrily to Gale, storming my way to him. "Hey!"
He spins around with a quizzical expression which I slap right off his face once I get into range.
The hit booms through the warehouse, only causing a few to glance over before realizing it's Gale and I-"the hunters"-and quickly avoiding our gaze, hurrying past or going back to what they were doing before.
Gale's head whips to the side from the force of my slap only to snap back up with disbelief. "What-"
"Don't you dare Gale! Don't you effing dare! You have no right! No right!" I scream in his face, forcing him back with each push I execute against his muscled chest.
Before I can go on though he snatches my arm, compelling me outside.
Practically dragging my dead weight body behind he stomps around district twelve only stopping to shove us into a small tight narrow alleyway in between two solid buildings.
"What was that about!?"
"Don't play stupid! You know what you did!"
"Alright Katniss!" Gale throws his arms up. "What did I do, huh?"
"IT'S WHAT YOU CAN'T DO! AND YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT. YOU CAN'T JUST KISS ME AND APLOGIZE -IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY-THEN FREAKING WALK AWAY LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED! YOU BASTERED!"
"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!"
"You!" I scream. "You're everywhere I go. It's not fair. I should get to be mad at you! I should get to be upset! I should be the one able to ignore you! And-and-"
"What are you talking about?!"
"It's your fault! Your fault," I chant.
"For doing what?!" he questions. "The fight this morning or-"
"For just now! Y-you appear all around me, a-and you look good, yo-you-you just act all...aghhh! And I'm trying to be mad at you! Furious! I was doing so well then your eyes had to go and ruin it all-"
"My eyes?!"
"Yes, your eyes! Then once that happens you go kiss me on the head, whispering you're sorry, a-and it makes it that much harder! Because then you make me break and I'm trying so hard to stay strong, but you go, tearing me down, making me feel all these things and fall in love with you even more than I already have when we're in a fight and I'm just trying my damnest to hate you right now but I can't and-and it's not fair! So, don't you dare go around thinking I'm going to fall back in your arms that easily because I'm not! I'm not Gale!" I ramble, stumbling over my words as I spit out random crap. I have no control over what's coming out of my mouth right now.
"So, you're telling me you're mad and the reason you slapped me was because I apologized! What sense does that make?"
"Well what is the sense in telling me that then walking away!"
"I WAS TRYING TO GIVE YOU SPACE!" Gale argues.
"WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT SPACE. MAYBE. JUST MAYBE ALL I WANT IS YOU!"
In an instant his lips come crashing down on mine.
