A/N: WHEE HAVE SOME SCOTTY/ENTERPRISE
PRANK WARS TEND TO HAVE UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES. JUST... HAVE THE DAMN CHAPTER.
The Enterprise was watching her back. She knew Kirk would want revenge for the jell-o prank.
Of course, she had the advantage- with her internal sensors, she could keep tabs on every crewman, including the Captain. Even when her human body was asleep, as a starship she could watch as Kirk tried, in vain, to surprise her.
So, naturally, it wasn't really Kirk who got revenge.
It's a conspiracy, she thought in horror as she stood stock-still. They're all against me.
Slowly, the starship looked down. She was trapped against a wall of her quarters, anchored to the wall by blue stuff. It had been goo, but it had dried before she could do anything.
Luckily I'm a starship, she thought smugly, bringing up her transporters...
Crap, she thought. They've gotten smarter.
Her transporters had been taken offline manually. Damn it.
Of course, she wasn't completely helpless.
Scotty, she said, projecting her voice through a comm unit in Engineering, I need some help.
In Engineering, Scotty walked over to the wall comm and answered.
"What with? Ye know Kirk's ordered me tae stay at my post."
Yeah, but... I'm a bit tied up at the moment...
The Enterprise raised an eyebrow as she distinctly heard something drop.
Two minutes later, the doors to her quarters opened and Scotty walked in, panting slightly.
"You got here fast," the Enterprise remarked. "I didn't know you had that kink."
Scotty gave her a look, then stepped closer to examine the blue stuff anchoring her to the wall.
"Wait, don't step into-" the rest of the Enterprise's warning was cut off by a loud BANG and a flash of blue.
"... The line of fire," she finished belatedly.
Scotty had been caught by another round of the trap, and he'd been catapulted against the Enterprise by the rapidly-drying blue substance.
"Hi there," the Enterprise said. "Just so you know, you've become a civilian casualty in a prank war between me and the Captain."
Scotty sighed and placed his head on the starship's shoulder. "I noticed," he said. "Now what?"
The Enterprise tilted her head as much as she could. "Well... We're stuck here. But I should call Kyle and have him reconnect my transporter."
Scotty nodded against the Enterprise, and tried to turn his head to see what had ambushed the both of them.
"It's a cannon of sorts," the Enterprise said. "You probably can't see it from here. It's... Very improvised-looking, but it's got a motion sensor. That's why we both got caught."
"And... How did ye end up with yer back tae the wall?"
"It got me on a sort of diagonal. I was facing the corner, and it got my side and spun me around, I think. It all happened very fast."
Scotty nodded again and tried to move his hand. It was stuck fast.
The Enterprise was silent for a minute. Then she smiled. "Kyle's on his way to fix my transporters," she said happily.
"Good," Scotty said.
The Enterprise leaned forward slightly and put her head on his shoulder. "They disconnected it pretty thoroughly, though. It may be a few minutes."
"Er... So, ah, then what?"
"Then I beam us out of this goop and go murder my captain," the starship said cheerfully.
"Why? I mean, ye're nae alone in this mess. I'm with ye... And, er, we're right up against each other..."
The Enterprise paused. "True. Very true. Maybe I'll just scar him for life," she said, tilting her head up and kissing Scotty's cheek.
Kirk walked smugly down the corridor towards the Enterprise's quarters. The alert on the goo-cannon had gone off, and he wanted to gloat before he let her out of the trap.
Pausing outside, Kirk took a minute to enjoy his moment of triumph, then he stepped inside as the doors opened.
He hadn't expected to catch two people. He also hadn't expected them to be kissing passionately while plastered to the wall. He'd also never wanted to see his Chief Engineer in that context. Kirk turned and walked out, smug look gone completely.
Spock was waiting. "Was your plan successful?" he asked.
"Too successful," Kirk said, walking past the Vulcan.
"You seem displeased."
"I just... Didn't really want to pin Scotty and the Enterprise together. Honestly I didn't."
Spock raised an eyebrow. "Surely you entertained the possibility of trapping multiple people, perhaps not your target."
"I... I did," Kirk said. "But I didn't really want to consider what might happen."
"The substance I created did serve its purpose, correct?"
"Yeah, Spock. Your blue goo worked just fine."
The Vulcan nodded to himself in satisfaction.
