Sorry this was late. I have been writing and rewriting this chapter, so I hope you like it.


Lovino woke up to the sound of birds chirping. He sat up and noticed his door was open. Matthew was sleeping in the hall on his mattress that Lovino could see he'd pulled from his bed. The bedroom was a mess. Things were still thrown around after Lovino's meltdown the night before. Lovino remembered it all too well. He'd cried himself to sleep, refusing to speak to Matthew, as his friend had laid next to him and rubbed his back. Tears filled Lovino's eyes. He glanced at the cut on his arm and shook his head at how superficial it was. He wanted to try again. He had to. Feli was dead. He was dead to his father. What did he have to live for? Maybe the conversation had been a dream...

His stomach twisted causing him to run to the bathroom and puke. He flushed the toilet and sat back. He was pregnant. Despite having heard it the night before, it hadn't sunk in until that moment. He placed a hand on his lower abdomen, rubbing it gently with his thumb. All thoughts of hurting himself left his head. New tears formed in his eyes. He felt a strange, warm feeling fill his body. He almost laughed from it. If he didn't know better, he'd say he was...happy? Love? He wasn't sure.

"We'll be okay," he whispered, a small smile on his face.

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. He stood up and opened to find Matthew rubbing his eyes sleepily, his glasses pushed up on his head. Lovino threw his arms around him.

"Thank you, Mattie."

"What are friends for?" Matthew smiled. "Are you okay? You were really upset last night."

"Um…" Lovino glanced away. He didn't want to talk about that right now. "I don't know. I will be."

"Okay. Are you sick? I thought I heard you puke."

"I'm just...nauseous," Lovino muttered. He couldn't tell anyone else until he told Antonio, but he wasn't sure that he could. Matthew studied him for a moment before nodding.

"I'll go make breakfast. You should shower and get dressed. I'm giving you thirty minutes until I come check on you, Don't try anything, Lovino."

"Okay. I promise, you don't have to worry. I can't do that now," Lovino crossed his arms protectively over his lower stomach.

It was so strange to him how he was feeling this way so suddenly. He was still scared out of his mind and the thought that he'd lost his family was still extremely painful, but a part of him was already attached to his child. He was also hoping that it had been a dream or that his father had just been initially angry. He'd turn around, right? Especially at the prospect of a grandchild.

"Okay. I'm assuming you're not going to come running with me this morning, so I'm going to wait for my brother or Antonio to come over before I go. I don't want to leave you alone."

"I…" Lovino chewed his lip. He'd gone running either every morning or every afternoon since he was in high school, but he wasn't sure if he could anymore. He wasn't sure if he wanted to . "Yeah, I'm not feeling up to going. You don't have to wait. Go on. I'm fine. I promise."

"Lovino, you had a compass to your arm last night. I'm not leaving you alone. Now go shower and get dressed. I'm not letting your mope either. We'll talk later."

Matthew walked out of the room and Lovino sighed. He got undressed and looked at himself in the mirror. He tried to imagine himself with a large belly. He even took a deep breath and arched his back to get an idea. He relaxed and sighed. He rubbed his stomach with a small smile. How did he already love his baby this much? It almost numbed the pain and fear.

Lovino showered and got dressed quickly. He was just about to leave his room when his phone rang. The number was blocked. Lovino sighed and answered.

"Hello?"

"Lovi?!" the voice cried shock.

"Feli?!" Lovino's eyes widened as he sank down to his bed. "Are you…?"

"I'm so happy you're alive!" Feliciano cried. "I thought you were hurt or dead! Papa said you got in a crash and I couldn't see you or talk to you anymore. I called just wanting to hear your voice message because I like to hear you talk when I'm sad since you used to tell me stories when I was sad, and I wasn't expecting you."

"I'm okay. I'm so good right now. Fuck…" Lovino pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from crying. "I thought...I thought you died."

"What? Why would I be…" Feliciano gasped. "Papa lied to us! Why?"

"Because...because I'm gay and I'm having a baby," Lovino whispered.

"Okay...but what's wrong with that?" Feli asked.

"I-I-I don't know," Lovino said quietly. "I mean, I'm really scared to have a baby. I didn't want to have a baby, but Feli?"

"Yeah?"

"I really love my baby. I woke up this morning and, like, it's strange because last night I was so sad, but this morning when I remembered there was a baby…"

"Aw, you already have mommy instincts! My big brother is so cute!"

"I guess I do…" Lovino muttered picking at the blanket.

"Are you going to tell Antonio?"

"Um...that's kind of one of the things I'm scared about." Lovino hugged his knees. "He kind of made it clear he's not wanting kids for like another ten years."

"Lovino, if he really didn't want kids that badly, he wouldn't be having sex so much," Feliciano said, in one of the rare moments that reminded Lovino that his little brother was in fact sixteen and not a child.

"You don't usually expect your boyfriend to get pregnant."

"So he's your boyfriend now?" Feli giggled.

"No, but...I don't know. I don't want to label it, but…"

"I understand. I personally don't understand all of that. Romantic feelings are just so...strange. I don't know. It's messy and complicated. But if you feel that way, go ahead and make a move. Just because I don't feel that way, doesn't mean you do."

"Lovino, are you okay?" Matthew asked, poking his head into the room.

"Yeah. I'm talking to my brother," Lovino replied with a smile on his lips.

"Okay."

Lovino turned back to the conversation. "Sorry, Matthew was checking on me."

"Aw, I love Matthew! Why was he doing that?"

"I just wasn't well last night."

"Oh, are you better this morning?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome! Okay, so I think we definitely need to get back at Papa. That was so mean! I can't wait for the baby. I'm going to be a zio and my big brother's going to be a mommy!"

"Papa," Lovino corrected.

"Whatever. So can you come to my hospital room later? We can totally surprise him!" Feli giggled.

"Sure. I have to go though. I love you, Feli. I don't say it often though, so you better listen good and not make a big deal," Lovino huffed.

"Okay! I love you too, big brother. I'll see you soon! Ciao!"

"Ciao."

Lovino hung up the phone and sigh happily, a huge grin on his face. Feliciano was okay. He fixed his hair in an attempt to look nice for when Antonio got there. He paused. Since when did dress up for him? Lovino chewed his lip as fear welled inside him. He was getting to emotionally invested. That was the only explanation.

He set a hand on his stomach and looked at himself. What would happen when he told Antonio? If the man rejected him, would he be able to deal with it? He swallowed hard. Could he do this alone? He took a deep breath and braced himself on his dresser.

"What am I supposed to do, bambino?"

A wave of nausea met him. He rolled his eyes and walked out of his room. He was getting tired of feeling so sick. How long was it supposed to last? He didn't know what he'd do if this went on for the next thirty or so weeks. He plopped on the couch and hugged his knees to his chest as all his emotions washed over him. Fear, pain, love, happiness, excitement, sadness...it was all so confusing. He didn't know how he truly felt for the first time in his life.

He picked at the eggs and pancakes Matthew made him. The smell of the eggs alone was getting to him. He tried to keep them away from the pancakes, but when he accidentally got a mouth of eggs with his pancakes, his stomach protested. He ran to the sink and let it go.

"Lovino, are you okay?"

"I'm just sick," Lovino mumbled. I bet Antonio's eggs wouldn't make me sick. Lovino shook his head at the thought. Where had that come from?

Matthew stared at him a few moments, searching his face for something before sighing. He commanded Lovino to sit on the couch and watch television while he cleaned the dishes. He gave him some ginger tea to settle his stomach and some broth and crackers. Lovino ate slowly as he half watched the movie. He needed to look up what to avoid. He was not fond of this stupid morning sickness.

A knock on the door tore him from his thoughts. He sighed. It was probably Alfred. He was always losing his key. Lovino went to set his cup down only to have Matthew stop him. He opened the door and stepped back to let Antonio in. Matthew muttered something to him and handed him a cup. Antonio glanced at Lovino with a slight frown, before his face softened into a smile. He glided over to where Lovino was on the couch and sat down next to him pushing the cup into his hands.

"Matthew says you need to drink more of this stuff for your stomach. Are you okay? Matt told me you had a pretty rough night and have been pukey this morning. What happened?" Antonio brushed Lovino's hair back.

"Um...I...I came out to my dad last night…" Lovino mumbled sitting up, staring at his tea.

"Oh, how'd it go?"

"Not...not well," Lovino cursed himself as tear fell down his cheeks. "Tonio, I don't have a family anymore."

"What?" Antonio gasped.

"He doesn't want Feli and I contacting anymore," Lovino left out that his father had technically told him his brother died. "He hates me."

"Sweetheart…" Antonio looked like he was about to cry himself.

He took the tea from Lovino and pulled him into his arms and laid back. Lovino gripped onto the front of Antonio's shirt as he allowed himself to sob into his chest. Something about the way Antonio's cologne smelled calmed him and caused his nausea to subside. Antonio running his fingers through the younger man's hair and the other hand rubbing Lovino's back was soothing. Lovino felt himself drifting off to sleep.


Lovino woke up to Alfred yelling at the video game he was playing with Matthew. It looked like he was getting his butt kicked. Antonio was still holding him, laughing at Alfred.

"You're so bad at this game, Alfie! I thought you said you were a natural?"

"I am! Matthew is cheating!" the boy protested.

"I'm not. You just suck," Matthew said nonchalantly.

Lovino sat up and smiled as Antonio kissed him gently. He hugged his neck and buried his face in his shoulder. He didn't even care that Alfred and Matthew were in the same room. Ordinarily he would have, but something in him had changed in the past two weeks. He'd wanted to be around him all the time. He hadn't cared who was around to see. It was so odd to Lovino, but he figured now that it had to do with being pregnant.

"How are you feeling?" Antonio asked.

"Still kind of nauseous. I think it's going to be that way though...for a while."

"Why do you say that?" Antonio laughed, his green eyes sparkling.

"Um...I just do…" Lovino mumbled playing with his sleeve.

"Finals? You put so much stress on yourself, Lovi. Dios mio, you need to relax. I'm going to make you some chicken noodle soup."

Antonio stood up and pulled Lovino behind him as they walked through the the living room, avoiding bothering the other two men in the room. Lovino was surprised when Antonio led him to his bedroom. Antonio sat the boy on the bed and grabbed the desk chair to face Lovino.

"So tell me, are you actually sick sick or stress sick?" Antonio stared at him, making Lovino shift uncomfortably.

Lovino thought about saying it. It seemed so simple. I'm pregnant. I'm having a baby. You're going to be a father. They all seemed so simple to say. Any pick Lovino chose appeared to be so simple, but any time Lovino opened his mouth to say it, he couldn't speak. He was trembling.

"Stress, I guess. Hormones. Just the whole situation," Lovino muttered.

"Look, you told me your family is really close. I'm sure in a few days, your dad will come around. When I told my parents I was bisexual, there was a lot of crying...a lot. My dad wouldn't talk to me for like a week and when he finally did, I was in my room doing homework, angry and hurt. He sits down on my bed and tells me that he didn't understand, but that he loved me and that was all that mattered. I'm sure the same will happen, especially since your brother's so sick. Families shouldn't break up during this time."

"You don't know my dad, Toni. He's from a really strict family with very conservative views. Like my grandparents threw my parents out of Italy because my mom got pregnant with me before they were married. I…" Lovino shook his head trying to push the tears back. "I don't think he'll change his mind."

Antonio chewed his lip and ran a hand through his curly hair. He let out a soft, nervous laugh and met Lovino's eyes. Lovino's breath caught as Antonio stood up and sat next to him, running his fingers up and down the man's sides.

"Then I'll be your family," Antonio whispered and brushed his lips against Lovino's. "Me, Matt, Alfie, Francis, Emma, Gil, we'll be your family. And you have your brother still. You're not alone, okay? I know you haven't met my friends yet, but Matt knows them and he likes them."

"You...you want to be my family?" Lovino's eyes widened. Maybe this would be easier than he thought.

"Of course," Antonio smiled.

"Oh...wow.." Lovino breathed.

Antonio stood up and announced he was going to make Lovino some chicken noodle soup. "You, mi corazon, will rest. No studying or writing term papers. You need to recover. Sleep if you want to, read a book, call your brother. It doesn't matter, just rest."

Lovino nodded and watched Antonio make his way to the door. His head was screaming for him to tell Antonio. It wasn't as if the baby was going to disappear and even if Lovino had a miscarriage, he didn't want to be alone through that. He loved his little peanut inside him. Antonio's hand was on the knob.

"Toni?" Lovino said quietly.

"Yes?"

"Um, the reason that I'm so...off...the reason I'm sick is because I'm p-"

"You're stressed. I know. That's why you need sleep and you need to be pampered. No more debating."

Antonio disappeared and Lovino fell back against the bed with a sigh. He felt like such an idiot. He had the moment and lost it. Antonio wanted to be his family and he couldn't even tell him he was pregnant. The word had been right there. It was about to come out, but he had been so stupid to not finish, to let Antonio go to the kitchen to cook, to be in his world not knowing he was going to be a father in thirty some-odd weeks.

The house filled with the smell of chicken noodle soup as Lovino studied. He knew that Antonio would be upset, but he needed to study. Not studying would stress him out even more. He'd been too distracted lately between Feliciano being ill and Antonio. He felt behind. He needed to keep working hard if he was going to maintain his 4.0.

Antonio came in, interrupting him with two bowls of soup, Matthew behind him with more ginger tea. Lovino hid his textbook and rolled his eyes as his friend forced another cup of tea into his hand, as if he wasn't having to pee every few minutes as it was already. He took it graciously and he and Antonio sat in comfortable silence eating and drinking their tea.

Lovino's mind was wandering to all the possibilities. Would he have a boy or girl? Would they look like him or Antonio or both? What would be their favorite color? It was a pleasant change of pace from the initial shock and the subsequent worrying. It was exhausting though, going back and forth.

"What are you thinking about?" Antonio asked cheerfully.

"Just things. Hey-"

"Are you still stressed?" Antonio took the empty bowl from Lovino and set it on the bedside table.

"Yeah…" Lovino mumbled.

"We could...destress," Antonio giggled, nibbling Lovino's neck.

Lovino pushed him away roughly, a scowl on his face. "Stop it." His voice was more firm than he had meant of it be. Lovino instantly felt bad as Antonio recoiled.

"Lovi, it will make you less stressed. It's a science."

"I don't care!" Lovino jumped up. "I don't want to have sex! I'm tired. I don't feel well. I want to curl up and cry my eyes out. It's your fault I feel like this in the first place with fucking sex!" Lovino glared at Antonio through his tears. "I feel this way because of you. I never felt like this until you and you just…"

Antonio's arms were around him instantly. "I'm sorry. Lovi, it's okay. We can just cuddle if that's what you want. Or I can go home. I really don't mind. It's up to you. I want you to be happy."

It did sound nice. Lovino nodded and pulled Antonio to the bed. He moved his textbook, getting a cheeky comment from Antonio that he responded with sarcastically. He waited for Antonio to lay down before getting in the bed himself. He cuddled against Antonio and laid his ear against his chest, closing his eyes. The younger man was instantly calmed by the steady beating. He didn't feel nauseous anymore. He didn't feel scared. He felt so peaceful, like everything would be okay.


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