AN~ Hey you guys, sorry it's been so long, things have been hectic. But here's the next chapter. R&R! 3

Hours later, I had gone back out to bring the horses in. Nathan was up and walking around a bit, and had put on a t-shirt and a zip-up sweatshirt over pajama pants. Cooper came outside with me. While I was bringing Batten in, what looked like a big black 1980 Ford Bronco pickup tore into the drive. Gravel flew in every direction as the truck came to an abrupt halt, and in the back a dog was barking furiously. The second the vehicle came to a halt the dog jumped out of the bed of the truck and charged straight for me and Batten. It took about three seconds for it to get close enough and for me to asess that the dog looked like some kind of weird chow-akita cross before the dog lunged at me. Batten panicked and yanked the leadrope clean out of my hands, stumbling around quickly to get away. I brought my knee up to block the snarling and barking dog, who's attention had turned away from Batten and now was on me, when Cooper lunged forward to come to my aid. The chow mix was big, but Cooper was indeed bigger. He knocked the chow completely off its feet with a snarl I had never heard come out of my dog, moving himself between me and the offending dog before a blur of black and tawny fur started to fly combined with snarls and yelps. I heard the back door slam and immediately saw Nathan rushing down, hearing the clatter of Batten's hooves coming up the driveway. The guy in the Bronco was just now getting out of his car.

"Come get your dog!" I snapped, frantic at this point. What the hell was he doing here, anyway? Nathan was quickly making his way toward us.

"Hey!" He barked, his green eyes hardened, zeroed in on the guy. The stranger was about six-foot-two, maybe a bit younger than Nathan and I, looking about twenty six or twenty seven.

"Sorry, man. She keeps getting out of the back of the truck." The stranger said. "Janie, gitoverhere."

We had to physically pull the dogs apart. The guy swung a closed fist at his dog's flank, and the female yelped as it made contact, bolting back into the vehicle with her tail tucked between her legs.

"You come onto private property with a vicious dog that attacks my girlfriend and one of our horses? What the hell are you doing here?" Nathan snapped, nudging me partially behind him once I finally got ahold of Cooper. My Shepherd wasn't hurt. His thick coat was wet in some places and somewhat sticky from the saliva of the other dog, but from what I could tell he wasn't bleeding and wasn't hurt. I didn't think she had made contact. But Cooper's hackles were raised while he continued growling and barking. I had never seen Cooper like this.

"Look, dude, I'm just looking for Marni," The guy shot back. Nathan's eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean you're looking for Marni?" He responded tersely. "Marni's been dead for almost a year now. And who the hell are you?"

The guy's eyes widened. "She's dead? Well, shit," He blew out a breath. "That's heavy. Look, I was, well... "

"You were what?" Nathan pressed, rather impatiently, but he was tense.

"Well, I feel sorry for her husband. Poor bastard had no fuckin' idea," The guy snorted. There was a vein in the side of Nathan's neck that I was sure was going to burst at some point.

"What the f-I was her husband!" Nathan growled, but at the same time, there was a note of panic in his voice. "What were you doing with my wife?"

At this point, the guy froze. "Oh shit, man.. I thought... you said your girlfriend-"

"Answer my question. What were you doing with my wife?" Nathan snapped. The guy recoiled, but he started to get aggressive, hands thrown upward in abrasive defense.

"Yo, man, chill the fuck out." The guy shot back. "Look, apparently there was some shit going on behind your back. She kept coming to me, saying things weren't going well between you two. And I... "

"-You what?" Nathan demanded.

"I fucked her, man, alright?" The guy lost his cool at that point. "She kept coming to me, and we fucked around."

Nathan's face paled. It was an obvious expression. No, not again. No... He loved her. I knew he did. To hear that she had still been doing behind his back, after he had tried so hard to make things work, was devastating. I lay a hand on his back, feeling awful for him.

"What?" Nathan's voice was hushed, enraged, but stunned and hurt.

"I hadn't seen her, so I figured-"

"You figured you'd what, stop by her house?" Nathan found his voice, looking up at the guy with a caustic stare, swallowing. "Good fucking move. She was married with a child. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Don't fucking get in my face, bro."

"Get the hell of my property or I'm going to do a hell of alot more than just get in your face." Nathan snarled, advancing toward him. "Bringing a vicious dog on private property and around lifestock, trespassing... I could beat your sorry ass into the ground right now and you would still get charged with a hell of alot more than a misdemeanor."

"Whoa whoa whoa," The guy's aggression had been taken down a couple of notches. "I'm already on probation, I don't need another fucking charge-"

The next thing I knew Nathan had picked up a hay hook and advanced toward the guy. "You piece of shit, get the hell of my poperty!" He roared.

"Nathan!" I was horrified. I had no doubt in my mind that Nathan was about to take the hook to the guy's skull at the first given chance. A line was crossed at this point. But the guy seemed like he was realising he was going to have to act on his bluff. Somewhat frantic, but with testosterone roaring, he swung and caught Nathan in the stomach. Nathan almost went down, and my heart was hammering in my chest.

"Nathan!" I cried out, rushing toward the two. Nathan turned and started pounding the kid's face in, with the first solid punch it knocked the other guy clean off his feet, and Nathan was going to beat the holy hell out of him. But the other guy turned and bum-rushed Nathan, hearing him make impact with a smack and a groan out of Nathan.

"KNOCK IT OFF!" I had lost my cool completely. I got in the middle of the both of them the first chance I got, pushing Nathan away and standing between him and the other guy. "I will call the cops if you don't get off our property this instant."

Swearing and screaming obscenities at us both, the guy finally got into the Bronco and left. Trying to guide Nathan back up to the house, I realised immediately he was bleeding. His stitches had ripped.

"Nathan, let's get you up to the bathroom-" I began, but he pulled away from me.

"No," His voice was quiet, but tense. "I'm... I'm going out for a bit,"

"Nathan, please. You just... you're in no shape to... " I reached gently for his arm, but he turned to me with a cool stare.

"Mag... let. Go." His tone was dangerously low. I let go of his arm, stunned and feeling like I was just slapped. I knew he was upset. I knew he was devastated over finding out about Marni. He turned, a complete mess of anger, hostility and upset. He was unreachable. He walked out the door and I was left helpless. I was just as upset that Marni had still been cheating on Nathan. While she had a family, and while Nathan and I had been tortured with feelings for one another for so long and had kept them at bay for the sake of their being a family, Marni had completely disregarded that. I was furious, but more worried about him.

I hope it was wortth it, Marni. I hope it was worth what you've done to him.

Tears welled in my eyes and with a shaky exhale, I turned and walked upstairs. I went in to check on Shilo, brought her down to feed her, then put her down once more and tucked her in. I went into mine and Nathan's bedroom and changed into sweats, lying on the bed with the TV on, and Cooper came up on the bed and joined me. I wrapped my arm around him when he lay on his side beside me, lowering my face to the ruff on his neck and silently let tears fall. I was a wreck, being worried about Nathan, feeling hurt over how he had treated me and was devastated over what Marni had put us through. Cooper stayed there, letting me cry against his neck, wishing that for once Nathan could just find happiness, and my mind started to lead me to question just how much I could put up with this.

Over three hours later. I had fallen asleep, but woke up to Cooper getting up and jumping off the bed to go downstairs, and soon after, I heard the door open. I bolted upright and started heading downstairs. I went into the living room and saw Nathan's hunched form sitting on one of the couches. On the coffee table in front of him was a Jim Beam bottle that was almost a quarter full. But I found myself rigid.

"Nathan?" I said quietly, though I knew I was tense. He didn't look at me.

"So that's it? You're just not going to say anything?" I muttered. I was angry, but I was also hurt and upset. A lump rose in my throat. "Nathan, I have done nothing. If anyone has been there for you, if anyone is going to stand by you throughout everything. I did nothing to deserve be treated like that. I love you, Nathan, more than anything. I can't stand that. Coming from you, I just.. I can't take it."

Tears welled in my eyes but I tried to force the emotion back from my voice. Nathan turned his head toward me in the slightest, glancing out of the corner of his eye. It was then that I noticed his eyes were red, worn out, and tears had begun to well in them as he lowered his eyes and turned his head. His expression crumbled.

"I'm sorry," He murmured, his voice almost a whisper, lowering his head to his hand. Tears streamed down his face and a choked, broken sob left him. "I'm so sorry... "

It dawned on me that while Nathan was drunk, everything was catching up with him, and he was breaking down right before my very eyes.

"I didn't mean to, Maggie... I didn't... I'm so sorry... I can't lose you... " He sobbed. He hunched over, and I watched him unatulteratedly break down right there. Tears streamed down my face and I moved to his side and sat down, pulling him into my arms.

"Shh... shh... Nate, it's alright, sweetheart, it's alright... " I murmured, kissing the side of his head as I cradled him in my arms. HIs body shook with sobs, and I knew that what was really affecting him was surfacing.

"How could she... I gave her everything... " He wept. "I don't understand,"

"I know, sweetheart, I know... " I murmured, closing my eyes. I rubbed his back, murmuring to him and held him. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart... I'm so, so sorry... "

Nathan sobbed in my arms, clinging to me like I was the last thing he had left. I rubbed his back, stroked his hair, doing everything I could to comfort him when I knew that wasn't going to be possible. Marni had done it again. After a few minutes, he seemed to settle, his sobs now turning into slight hitches of breath which I could feel shake through his body periodically.

"Was she ever faithful to me?" He murmured, his voice still thick. I wrapped my arms tighter around him, gently holding him, but I could only shake my head.

"I don't know, sweetheart," I said softly. "I wish I could answer that, but I can't."

Nathan nodded slowly, swallowing, his head against my chest. "Makes you wonder. I mean, my own wife didn't even love me enough to stay loyal to me... my father hates me... " His voice trailed off, and he swallowed. "What's wrong with me? Why wasn't I enough?"

"Oh, Nathan... " I muttered, shaking my head. I wanted to tell him that nobody else would ever do that to him. I wanted to assure him someone loved him. That I loved him. Instead, staying true to actions speak louder than words, I held Nathan in my arms. I consoled and comforted him, hugged and him assured him he was safe and loved. Nathan leaned against me, shaking his head.

"I love you, Mag. So much." He murmured, and his voice cracked in the slightest. "You have my heart, Maggie. Please be careful with it. I just can't have it broken again,"

When Nathan had been drinking, his emotions were open. His words were raw. Hearing that, I bent and kissed his head, tightening my arms around him. "I never would, Nathan. I love you, too, sweetheart. So much. I would never hurt you, or do anything to break your heart. Ever. Just like I have your heart, you have mine. You mean everything to me."

He nodded slowly, and it was then that I recalled the stitches that had obviously been ripped in his side. I wrapped my arms around him. "Let's get you upstairs and in bed, sweetheart. We should get those stitches cleaned up.

With an arm wrapped around his waist, I guided him up the stairs, realising halfway up that Batten was still down there. I hadn't even had the chance to catch him. But as much as I wanted to go get the gelding, Nathan was my top priority. I sat him down on the toiled seat cover and closed the door, bending down to unzip his sweatshirt.

"Arms up, sweetheart," I urged, and as he slowly did, I lifted the hem of his t-shirt and carefully pulled it up over his head and off so I could see the damage done. The bandage was soaked in blood, and murmuring to him as he winced in pain, I slowly peeled the bandage off, pulling the first aid kit off the shelf. Sure enough, two of the stitches had popped, and blood still seeped slightly from the opened area of the wound. Taking a clean wash cloth off the sink, I turned on the hot water and waited until it turned warm, soaking the wash cloth and gently blotted at the dried blood on Nathan's skin.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him gently, lifting a hand to gently brush a bit of his hair off his forehead. I knelt beside him, but Nathan's upper body swayed slightly like he was going to tip directly off the toilet seat and land face-first on the floor.

"Like I shouldn't have been drinking after surgery," He murmured. I lay a hand on his knee, continuing to gently blot at the sutures, but found that I couldn't quite get to it the way Nathan sat.

"Here... Nathan, can you lie down on your back on the floor?" I urged gently. "I can't quite get to it."

With a bit of my help, Nathan eased himself off the toilet seat and onto the floor slowly, lying down with a bit of a strained exhale. I continued to clean the area around the cut until all the dried blood was wiped away. To close the ends where the stitches had ripped, I used a few strips of suture tape, but only after I blotted it lightly with the ointment the hospital had given us to clean the stitches. Once finished, I rummaged through the first aid kit, only to find that the only thing we had that could work as a bandage were three different coloured rolls of veterinary wrap.

"We only have vet wrap, it looks like," I said softly, making a face, but looked up at Nathan. "What colour do you want?"

Nathan snorted. "I don't care what colour."

"You don't want to tell me that. I will give you pink." I glanced up at him with a mildly teasing 'Test me and see.' look. Nathan chuckled.

"Alright, fine. Blue." He said with a thin smile. I grinned, grateful to see the mood lightened in the slightest. I placed gauze on the sutures and urged Nathan to sit up, wrapping it around his waist. I finally got it wrapped, and gently helped Nathan to his feet. I wanted to get him in bed and lying down. He needed sleep, that was obvious. And I knew I needed to get that horse.

"Come on, Nate, easy now, there we go... slowly... " I coaxed, guiding Nathan as he slowly lay down on the bed, turning over on his side. I covered him with the comforter, leaning down to kiss the top of his head and stroke his hair, promising I would be right back before heading right back down. Cooper, who had been on the bed, sprang down and followed me as I went out to catch Batten

"Batten!" I called once I got outside, my arms crossed over my chest. Closing the door behind me and the dog, I made my way down to the barn, trying to scan the area for any sign of a large form wandering around near the trees or in the bushes. But when I reached the barn, I couldn't find the lights. It was turning and hearing a large form moving behind me in the dark that about scared the hell out of me. And me startling caused Cooper to start barking and whatever it was snorted and bolted for the other side of the barn. This caused a ruckus among the other horses and hearing the huffing on the other side of the barn I knew we had found Batten.

"Easy buddy... " I murmured, feeling my way through the dark to try to find not only the horse but the leadrope that I knew was trailing along thr ground as well. Finally coming across it, I got ahold of him, and pulling my iPhone out of my pocket, guided myself with the light of the lit screen as I took Batten back to his stall. I got him put away and headed back up to the house, closing the barn door on my way out.

I got back inside, made sure Cooper was with me, locked the door behind me and went back upstairs. In the darkness of the room, I could see Nathan asleep on the bed. I moved toward it, crawled in under the covers and wrapped my arms around his waist. Shifting slowly, Nathan turned in my arms which I wrapped around him. He lay his head on my collarbone and I proceded to gently run my nails up and down his back.

"I love you so much," He murmured. "I don't know what I would ever do without you."

"I love you, too, sweetheart." I responded softly. I cherished his warmth, the familiar feeling of him beside me. "So much. You would never be without me, Nate. Ever."

About five days had passed and Nathan was slowly making a recovery. He was up and moving around, but I refused to let him do any work down in the barn yet. So for that time I was doing the work out in the barn. That included mucking out, feeding, turning out, everything. I also trained the Thoroughbreds. But walking past Uther every day, I knew Nathan was the one usually working with him. I had to pull him out and do something with him. I couldn't bring myself to walk past him another day and see him watch me dolefully, wondering if I was going to stop and say hello, pull him out, anything. I pulled the great pinto out of his stall and lead him to one of the arenas to turn him loose. But rather than standing on the other side of the ring, I stayed in there with him. He was just as stunning as I remembered, his grace unwavering, even regardless of everything he had been through. After folding his legs beneath him and shakily lowering himself to the arena floor to roll, he heaved himself back up and made his way toward me. I drew a breath, watching him with offered palms as he lowered his muzzle to my hands.

"You've always been an awesome boy, haven't you?" I murmured to him, smoothing his thick forelock. Uther blew softly through his nostrils into my hand. I reached up and rubbed his forehead, then lowered my hands and slowly started walking to the rail of the arena to see what Uther would do. Almost as though attached to me, he turned and followed, his head leveled with my hip. I lifted a hand and set it gently at his crest as he followed me. It was a quiet walk, with Uther right at my side, taking companionship in the one living being that came to interact with him. It was almost heartbreaking. I knew Marni would have been down here every day to see him. Uther knew me. Through all the years Marni and I had showed in the same circuit, Uther and I had grown to know each other. I could pick him out of a herd and know him off the bat. I came to a halt, and Uther slowly stopped beside me, setting his chin gently on my shoulder with a heavy sigh. With a grin, I lay a hand gently on his nose, stroking the white on his mostly black nose.

Before long, Nathan was healed up. Nothing remained from his endeavor except for a small scar across the right side of his pelvis. We lay in bed one morning, my head on Nathan's chest, gently tracing a finger along the scar on his side. I paused when I suddenly had an idea.

"Nate,"

"Hm?"

"You know how that one trail leads to the waterfall?"

"Mm,"

"Why don't we go for a ride today and go to it? It'd be incredible." I suggested. Nathan's eyes opened. He thought over my idea and drew a breath.

"Maggie, we've been over this," He said softly. "I don't know if I can get back on a horse yet,"

"Nathan," I said softly, turning over so that I faced him. Looking into his eyes, I recognised genuine uneasiness. "It would be okay, sweetheart. I'll be right there with you. You used to be amazing on a horse. Marni wouldn't have wanted you discouraged."

Nathan exhaled slowly, lowering his eyes. I gently rubbed his chest. "It'll be alright, Nate, really. I think it'd be a great thing for the both of us to experience."

Nathan didn't lift his eyes to mine yet. I gently tightened my arms around him and felt him turn toward me, wrapping his arms around me as he buried himself against me with a heavy exhale. I kissed his forehead, holding him. I knew immediately that he was willing to give it a shot, but it was a tender subject. he hadn't been back on a horse since Marni had been killed. He wasn't about to admit it anytime soon, but I knew it scared him. I willingly held him in my arms, murmuring to him, doing what I could to soothe him.

Those few hours later, Nathan and I were in the barn. I tightened Phaeton's girth as Nathan brought Kilkenny Creek out. I had half expected him to get on Uther, but I knew he was concerned about reinjuring the stallion, even a year later since the accident. Or almost a year. It dawned on me that it would be a year tomorrow since Marni's death. It would explain why Nathan had been edgy the past few days. Reaching for Phaeton's bridle, I unbuckled his halter and with an arm around his nose, slipped the bit into his mouth and pulled the remainder of the headstall over his head and ears. By the time I finished buckling the bridle, I looked over to find that Nathan had the bay Thoroughbred gelding tacked up. I watched Nathan's general demeanor. He seemed tense, but was still just trying to pass it off as nothing.

"You okay?" I asked him as he and Kilkenny Creek passed us, laying a hand on his arm. Nathan glanced my way, lifting his free hand and lay it over my own with a gentle squeeze.

"I'm fine, honey," He assured me. Did I buy that for a second? No. But there was nothing I could by the time we got on and headed out onto the trail that would lead to the lake with the waterfall, Nathan seemed to relax. He seemed like the Nathan I knew back in the day, completely comfortable in the saddle. Even with Kilkenny Creek... being a young Thoroughbred, spooking at everything that moved on the trail. There were a number of times I thought Nathan was going to hit the dirt, but he stayed glued to that saddle.

"Want to race?" I teased, gathering Phaeton's reins and hunching over his neck as though I was going to ask him to leap forward into a gallop any second. The look of mock terror that crossed Nathan's face was priceless.

"No way." Nathan said quickly with a nervous laugh. "Your mount knows how to stop. I'm not so sure about this one."

It took us about twenty minutes to actually get there, and throughout that time, we continued talking. It was a really nice time between the two of is. It was just the two of us, and the quality time was something I knew we needed.

"Nathan, I've got a question," I said, clearly making it sound like it was regarding bringing another animal onto the property.

"If it's about a horse, forget it." Nathan shot me a sideways glance, mildly joking. "Just stop while you're ahead."

"But this one's different," I pointed out with a grin. "I found a horse online... "

"Jesus, we're turning into a rescue facility," Nathan groaned with a laugh. "What is it?"

"You've seen a Friesian right?"

"Yes, I've seen a Friesian." Nathan responded, looking my direction. "What website did you find this horse on?"

"Dreamhorse-dot-com." I responded. "He's for sale."

"Stallion or gelding?" Nathan asked. "And how old?"

"I think he's about nine, and he's a stallion." I answered. Phaeton turned his head with pricked ears to look at something that moved in the bushes, not really thinking much of it. Kilkenny Creek, however, was airborn with an explosive snort, nearly unseating Nathan as he shied sideways.

"Quiet down, you lunatic," Nathan growled, drawing to a halt and turned Kilkenny Creek so the gelding could look at what had just scared the living daylights out of him. A Skylark fluttered out of the same bush. Kilkenny Creek's ears pricked and he jumped, bracing with all four legs, staring at the bird wide-eyed. "It's a lark, you see them every day. Cool it. Spaz." Nathan rolled his eyes, shaking his head, then looked over in my direction. "Do I even want to know how much they're asking for him?"

"Actually not that much," I responded, shifting my weight in the saddle, leaning with one hand resting on my thigh. Phaeton shifted his own weight underneath me, cocking one back hoof with a sigh. "They were asking about ten grand."

Nathan's eyebrows shot up, loosening the reins and let Kilkenny Creek take a few brave baby steps toward the bush. The colt's nostrils flared to about the size of silver dollars, standing splay-legged in front of the bush. I found myself praying there wasn't another lark in there. Kilkenny Creek would have a heart attack.

"You sure you were looking at the price and not a stud fee?" Nathan asked, glancing at me briefly but kept his eyes and attention on his horse and the bush in front of them, wanting to be ready to snatch up the reins and gain control again if something else were to spring out of the bushes, God forbid.

"Oh, come on, Nate, give me a bit more credit than that." I rolled my eyes, though my response was playful. But I knew where he was coming from. Normally a horse like that, especially one that could reproduce, was worth a hell of alot of money. Ten thousand dollars was beyond reasonable. "Yes, he was ten thousand dollars to purchase."

"Wow," Nathan's eyebrows shot up. Kilkenny Creek seemed to realise that whatever was still lingering in the bushes wasn't going to jump out and attack him, and with a brisk, full-bodied shake which almost unseated Nathan, appeared to be over it. Nathan grinned, leaning to pat the colt's neck.

"Onward," He joked. We continued on, and the subject of the stallion was still in discussion. "What's the horse's name?"

"Navarre 367." I responded. Nathan stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me.

"He's approved?" He said. I nodded.

"It's a total steal, Nate, he looks like a great horse." I said. At this point, I would have given anything to have that horse in one of our stalls.

"I'll tell you what," Nathan said. "Let me take a look at the site. I'll look at the horse, contact his owners and we'll see from there. If all goes well, we'll go out and see him. But I can't promise anything."

That was more progress than I had expected. I would have thrown my arms around Nathan and hugged him had he not been too far away. And I knew bringing Phaeton up near Kilkenny Creek was a bad idea. We reached the waterfall and stood near it, hearing the softened roaring of the fall. It was incredible. I looked over at Nathan, whose green eyes were trained on the lake and fall. I tried to assess his stance, and he seemed relatively relaxed.

"How're you doing?" I asked him. He looked in my direction.

"I'm actually alright," He responded. The smile on his face was thin, but it was calm, relaxed. He seemed genuinely content. Watching the signals of where my horse's ears were placed on his head, and watching that of Kilkenny Creek's, I guided Phaeton up alongside the bay gelding, sliding my hand along Nathan's lower back, rubbing it gently in an affectionate manner before wrapping my arm around him, kissing his shoulder. Nathan glanced down at me with a gentle smile, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and kissed the side of my head. Gently tightening my arm, I lay my head against his collarbone and shoulder as he shifted Kilkenny Creek's reins into one hand. I turned my head, enough so he could see it and do it in return and I kissed him.

"I love you," I murmured against his lips. The kiss was brief, but a smile spread across Nathan's face, breaking the kiss and kissed the side of my jaw.

"I love you, too," He responded, kissing the side of my head and let his lips linger there. There was a warmth and comfort about him that was so familiar. In his arms I felt safe. It was something I hadn't felt in a long time. I knew I could just about imagine myself spending the rest of my life with this man. Now whether or not he felt the same way about me, I wasn't sure.

The next morning, I woke up only for it to dawn on me not even three minutes later just what day it was. And looking over at Nathan, who lay on his back, wide awake, his features creased with unsettlement, I knew he knew as well. It was a year today that Marni had been dead. When I looked over at Nathan, he swallowed, exhaling slowly. I turned over, wrapping my arm around his torso and kissed his collarbone, running my hand up and down his chest to soothe him. He wrapped his arm around me, drawing me close and lay the side of his head against mine. I knew the emotion of this day would have probably been very different had Marni not been unfaithful. That aspect only made this day even harder on Nathan.

"Do you want to go see her?" I asked him gently. I felt his chest rise and fall with another exhale.

"I don't know," He said softly. "I don't know how to feel about what she did."

I gently ran my hand through soft, fine hairs on his chest. "It's your choice entirely. If you didn't go, I would completely understand." I said softly. "If you did go, I would be right there beside you the entire time."

Nathan nodded slowly, tightening his arm around me and kissed my forehead.

"I love you so much,"

"I love you, too, sweetheart," I murmured softly. "So much."

Later on that morning he and I went down to feed the horses. Shilo came hurrying down with us with a bag cut up carrots to feed to her pony; with Nathan's assistance of course. He coaxed her hand to lie flat so Tinkerbell could lip the carrot disc out of the little girl's palm. Every so often if Nathan was feeding and I had my hands free, I would help Shilo, gladly taking a chance to take a gentle hold of and rub one of Tinkerbell's fuzzy ears.

. She clearly wasn't fond of it but she put up with it.

"Shi, do you want to get on your pony?" Nathan asked, coming out of Uther's stall, dusting bits of alfalfa off of his jeans. I could immediately see the smile broaden across Shilo's face.

"Wanna ride!" She exclaimed enthusiastically. It greatly impressed me how extensive Shilo's vocabulary already was at this age. A thin smile played across Nathan's features as he and I exchanged glances and he scooped his little girl up in his arms.

"Then ride we will," He said, kissing the side of her head. It warmed my heart watching Nathan with Shilo. He was the epitome of paternal love and affection, as well as protective of his daughter. He set Shilo down and went in with her to halter Tinkerbell. With Shilo standing on the other side of Nathan to avoid little toes getting stepped on, she held the end of the lead while Nathan aided in leading Tinkerbell over to the barn aisle crossties and clipped it to the ring of Tinkerbell's halter by her ears. Since the pony was so little, the crossties were just long enough to let her stand comfortably with her head at a reasonable level, and clipping them at the furthest ring by her cheekbone would give her a little more slack. As Nathan aided Shilo in grooming the little sorrel pony, I slipped into Phaeton's stall right by them to check on my stallion. I opened the door to find the Arab lying down, his fleece show sheet covered in bits of sawdust clinging to the sides from when he must have been lying sprawled out. His eyes were closed with his muzzle resting in a pile of shavings, legs tucked underneath him, curled up in the corner. Hearing my entrance, Phaeton opened his eyes and lifted his head, looking up to blink at me. His nostrils flutter in an almost inaudible, throaty whicker in greeting, dropping his head to rub his nose against his knee. He stayed put though, which only enticed me.

"Hello, handsome boy." I crooned, kneeling down in front of him but ready to leap up if he decided to suddenly get up, that way I wasn't in the way of his feet. He craned his neck a bit, nosing at my knee. I gently cupped his muzzle in my hands and pushed his forelock away from the star on his forehead, gently kissing his forehead while running my fingertips up and down the side of his face. Adjusting my position, I sat down in the stall and with a low, contented, drawn out snort, lowered his muzzle into my lap. Nathan poked his head into the stall a smile crossing his face.

"That is the sweetest thing I've ever seen."

I looked up at him with a grin, gently smoothing Phaeton's forelock. "He's a big baby." I gushed. I still couldn't believe how affectionate the stallion was. When Nathan finally got Tinkerbell tacked up for Shilo, I finally had to get up, and when I got up Phaeton also did, shaking the sawdust from his blanket, and sending his long, thick mane completely askew on his neck. I unblanketed him, trying to smooth his mane the best I could but knew I would have to groom him later. Folding the blanket, I left the stall and followed Nathan, Shilo and Tinkerbell out to the roundpen. Shilo was on Tink's back, clinging to the pony with such determination. It was the same look in her eyes that I had seen in Marni's for so many years. I knew Nathan and I were both thinking that as I stood with him in the centre of the ring.

"Good job, Shi, keep those heels down, sweetie," Nathan encouraged gently, holding the lunge line. Even though he was trying to put up a positive front for his daughter, I knew something was affecting him and I knew exactly what that something was. As I reached over and lovingly scratched an area of Nathan's mid back, he glanced my way.

"I'm definitely going to go to the cemetery and see her," He said softly. "Did you… still want to come with?"

"Of course," I assured him. I could feel his stance relax and gently ran a hand up and down his back. When Nathan finished Shilo's twenty minute lesson, we went back to the barn to untack Tinkerbell, then headed back up to the house. Shilo was in her room playing and Nathan and I both changed to go to the cemetery. I glanced up as Nathan pulled his grey t-shirt up over his head, watching the muscles in his back flex as he did so. I felt the sudden urge to wrap my arms around him and I did. Standing after having put three inch wedges on, I moved toward Nathan with his bare back to me, slipping my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. Nathan set the grey button-up shirt he had in hand down and lay his arms over mine. I could feel his weight lightly leaning back into me.

"Thank you," He said softly, turning his head somewhat but not quite looking at me. "For coming with me. I don't… I don't think I could have done this alone. Not after knowing what she did."

"I told you I would be there for you no matter what, Nate, I'm going to keep that promise," I told him reassuringly, kissing the back of his shoulder. I could still feel tension in his body. I knew he was worried about what we were about to go face. "Nathan, it's alright. Try to relax, sweetheart, you're going to be okay."

I could feel Nathan draw a breath and exhale slowly, trying to get himself to relax. He nodded slowly, running his hand up and down my arm in response. We finished changing and both Nathan and I went to the car. As we made our way to the cemetary, Nathan was radiating tension. My heart went out to him. I lay a hand on his arm on the centre console. "It's alright, Nate. I'm right here, you can do this," I murmured to him gently, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze. He looked in my direction, acknowledging my notions with a thin, grateful half smile. We pulled up into the parking lot of the cemetary and got out of the car. Nathan drew a breath and exhaled slowly, and shoving his hands in his pockets, he turned to make his way toward the yard. I moved up next to him, gently rubbing his back before I linked my arm with his. Taking the hand of the arm closest to me out of his pocket, he gently pulled it out of mine and wrapped it around me, with my arm going around his waist in response. We reached Marni's mausoleum and Nathan paused, exhaling slowly and almost shakily.

"You're okay, honey," I murmured to him, my hand gently running up and down his lower back. Nathan gave me a gentle squeeze in response before letting go to take a few steps forward. My arm slid off of him and he moved toward the door. But he paused, glancing over his shoulder at me.

"Come with me?" He asked softly, his eyes pleading. There was no way I could have told him no. wrapping my arm around him with my hand at his furthest hip, I kissed the back of Nathan's shoulder, following him in. Within a few moments, we closed the door behind us, and I stood a few feet away to give Nathan space as he knelt at the tomb.

"The year has rolled by quickly, Marni," Nathan said softly, eyes lowered, as though unable to even look at the tomb like he would be looking Marni in the face. I knew that right now he couldn't even do that. "I miss you, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt or angry by what I've learned."

I knew immediately where he was heading, and I stood back and let him. He needed this closure with her.

Nathan's jaw set and he lowered his eyes, swallowing. I knew some kind of emotion was building up but I wasn't sure what yet. This was so much for him

"You were the mother of my child-the mother of my child." Nathan's eyes lifted, his voice tightened. "I loved you, Marni, I... I still do, but how could I possibly be in love with someone who... " His voice broke off and he lifted his eyes, bringing his hands up to place them on the back of his neck, a heavy, almost shaky exhale.

"You hurt me the first time you did it," He murmured, his voice tightened with hurt, barely suppressed anger and emotion. He was devastated by what had happened, I could easily recognise that. "But to do it a second time.. or a number or times, with the guy showing up at the house you and I shared- I loved you, I loved you so much and would have laid my life down for you... how could you possibly have done what you did then come back home and told me you loved me? How does a person do that to someone they love? Because I know I never could have done that to you!"

The last sentance was furious and snapped forth, causing me to jump, but I knew he was angry and upset, and it was just building. Nathan turned swiftly and his fist collided with the stone wall. I heard a crack and I could have sworn it was the bones in his hand breaking, especially when he drew it back with a pained hiss, but his breathing was heavy, and tears glinted in his eyes.

"I can't... I can't do this," He muttered, swallowing, shaking his head as he fought so hard to keep his composure. It hadn't gone the way he had planned, I could tell. He clutched his hand, with his knuckles now scraped and bleeding, and probably causing him more pain than he was already in. He looked in my direction briefly. "Please, I just... I need to get out of here."

"We will. We'll go," I assured him, moving toward him and wrapped an arm around him, guiding Nathan out of the mausoleum. We went back to the parking lot and I turned to him. "Nate, why don't you let me drive, sweetheart? Just sit in the passenger seat and relax, you need to."

He nodded, handing me the car keys from his pocket and as we both got in the car, I started it and we pulled out of the parking lot, and I watched the cemetary disappear into the distance from the rear-view mirror.

The car ride home was quiet. I knew Nathan was feeling horrible at the moment, but in the long run this brought him the closure he needed. I kept that in mind even as I looked over at him and saw tears welling in his eyes, with one escaping and spilling down his face. My heart went out to him.

"Nathan... " I murmured softly, sadly, knowing how hard this was for him. He tried to blink back the remaining unshed tears, exhaling slowly and closing his eyes, swallowing, even though the exhale wavered. I lay a hand on his arm and gently ran it up and down his forearm. When we finally reached the house, Nathan and I headed upstairs. He went into Shilo's room to check on the little girl. I watched him bend over the toddler bed to tuck the Shilo in. He stroked his daughter's hair and I could see her dark eyes open. Little words were exchanged between the two, and when Nathan bent to kiss Shilo's forehead, I could see tears in his eyes, and a pang of sadness hit me. As he left Shilo's room and we went into the master bedroom, I got the first aid kit out to see to Nathan's hand. We stood in the bathroom as I dabbed antiseptic ointment on his knuckles and bandaged them, when I looked up at his face and saw tears.

"Oh, sweetheart," I murmured, and leaned forward to wrap my arms around him, gently coaxing his head to my collarbone with my hand on the back of his neck. Nathan sank against me, burying his face against my collarbone and the side of my neck. I could feel a quiet sob shake through him, could feel him holding on to me tightly. I wanted to hold him and comfort him, more than anything. I knew he was extremely vulnerable over this whole thing, and knew today had really shaken him up. I kissed the side of his head and gently rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry, Nathan, I shouldn't have encouraged you to go over there yet," I murmured, shaking my head. I could feel his own shake in response.

"No, it was something I needed to do," He murmured against my shoulder. "It was hard... it still is, but I had to do it,"

He held on to me for a little while longer. I couldn't have been more willing to stay there with him. We finally went to bed and when Nathan lay down I settled beside him with my arm wrapped around him. Running a hand up and down his side I could feel his fingertips running over my back.

"I love you so much," He murmured, tightening his arms around me. I did the same, kissing his collarbone.

"I love you, too," I responded softly. "So much."

The next day, Nathan had gone to work. I pulled the horses out and turned them all out, except for the stallions, who went out by themselves. Deciding to get on Phaeton, I pulled him out of the pasture and led him into the barn to tack him up. Shilo was in Tinkerbell's stall, grooming the pony, whom I had haltered and tied to the stall door so she would stand still enough for Shilo to groom her. Leaving Phaeton crosstied, I went into the stall, my heart melting when Shilo lifted her big brown eyes to me with a huge smile.

"Hi Maggie!"

"Hey sweetheart," I responded witha smile, leaning my shoulder against the side of the stall. "How'd you like to go riding with me?"

Shilo blinked, in awe. "On Phay-tin?"

I bit back a chuckle at the sound of Shilo trying to say my horse's name. "Yes, on Phaeton." And watched Shilo's smile broaden further.

"Yay!" She squealed, jumping up and down. Tinkerbell flinched, rolling her eye in the little girl's reaction.

"Shi, no jumping around Tink, remember?" I said gently but firmly, though grinned as I untied Tinkerbell's leadrope and unbuckled her halter as Shilo hurried out of the stall to stand by Phaeton. Seeing her by my stallion's legs, my heart leapt in my throat for a moment, but Phaeton was as calm as could be. He lowered his head, letting Shilo stroke his muzzle. I bridled him and lifted Shilo up onto his back before I mounted in back of her, holding the reins and keeping a good grasp on the little girl as we rode out of the barn onto one of the trails, deciding to head to the same waterfall Nathan and I had gone.

"So pretty… " Shilo murmured, leaning back against me. I smiled, kissing the top of Shilo's black hair.

"Isn't it?" I responded as Phaeton walked along the hill. "You're daddy and I rode up here."

Shilo nodded as though taking in what I said. My iPhone rang from my pocket. I dug it out, halting Phaeton and looked down to see Nathan's mobile calling me. I immediately slid my finger along the ACCEPT button of the touch screen. "Hi honey."

"Hey… what are you up to?" He said, apparently hearing breeze and Phaeton's snort in the background.

"I took Shilo riding. She's in front of me on Phaeton." I responded, but I could hear something in his voice. He was tense. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah—well… " I could immediately hear him hesitate. "I'm going to be a bit late tonight, there's something I need to get handled."

"Get handled?" My eyebrows furrowed. "Nathan, is everything alright?"

"I'll talk to you about it tonight. I—you're with Shilo." He responded. I could immediately tell that something was unsettling him. He was stressed out and tense; rigid. "Look, I've got to go, Maggie, but I'll see you tonight."

"Alright, take care of whatever you need to." I said. "Everything will be alright, Nate. I love you."

"I love you, too." He responded and I could hear him take a deep breath and exhale slowly. "I hope so. I'll talk to you soon."

I pressed end and asked Phaeton to walk on, but I couldn't take my mind off of it. Shilo and I got back and we unsaddled Phaeton and put him away, as well as all the other horses. I fed the horses and took Shilo inside to feed her. I threw something quick together for Shilo, which included macaroni and cheese, three little chicken nuggets with steamed carrots on the side and cut up apples. I brought her plate over to her with a sippy cup filled with milk, then quickly fed the dog and cat. I fixed a bowl of macaroni for myself, leaving quite a bit left for Nathan when he got home, knowing he would be hungry. When Shilo finished, I put her to bed at about seven, then sat in the living room on the sofa with a Horse Illustrated magazine and a glass of wine. Cooper had been lying at my feet when I heard the front door open and looked over my shoulder as Cooper raced to the door to greet Nathan.

"Hey honey," I said softly, though concerned.

"Hey," Nathan murmured, moving past me after placing a brief kiss on the top of my head. He seemed distracted, worn out, and seemed upset about something. He trudged up the stairs and as I watched him it dawned on me that it had to have been whatever happened at work. Nonetheless, I was worried about him. I made my way up the stairs slowly after him, coming into the master bedroom. Nathan was changed out of his work clothes and was in lounge pants and a grey t-shirt. He sat at the side of the bed, his shoulders hunched and his back rounded. His head was lowered into his hands from what I could see, with his back to me. It was obvious that he was tense and exhausted.

"Nate?" I moved toward him, sitting down near to beside him, laying a hand on his lower back. "Hey… what happened, sweetheart?"

"I spoke to the lawyers of the clinic earlier." He said softly, exhaling heavily. "Evidently I'm being investigated as an adequate physician after the accident. They're looking into it, because obviously if I'm a vet, I should have known something was wrong."

"What?" I was astounded. "Why are they deciding to look into this now? It's been a year."

Nathan shook his head with a shrug of his shoulders. "I don't know. I don't know if someone reported it or called it into question, but somebody out there thinks it's my fault. A number of people."

"Oh, God, sweetheart…" I murmured, gently rubbing his back as Nathan dropped his head into his hands.

"Why can't they just leave it alone? Her alone?" Nathan murmured. "I fought so hard to stand my ground, tell them I did everything I could to stop her from riding, but I think about it and I know I could have done something more."

"You did do everything you could, Nathan," I assured him. "What's the worst action they could take, do you think?"

Nathan shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "The worst they could do, if I testify and they find me guilty veterinary malpractice or negligent homicide, whatever it is, the worst they could do is suspend my medical license… or fire me."

"This wasn't even your fault, Nathan," I said softly, and as Nathan dropped his head again, I continued rubbing his back. "Do you want to talk about it?

Nathan shook his head. "No, I spoke with lawyers and the board supervisor, I can't talk about it anymore. Just… hold me and stay with me? If I talk about it anymore I'm afraid I might lose it."

Immediately, I wrapped my arms around him from the side, tightening my arms around him and kissed the side of his head. "Of course, sweetheart.." I told him gently, feeling him sink against me. "No matter what happens, Nathan, you have my love and support throughout it all."

He sank against me, wrapping both arms around me and exhaled heavily. I held him, rubbing his back, trying to soothe him the best I could, murmuring to him that it would all work out. For Nathan's sake, I hoped it would.