Authoress' Note:

Sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter up. I've been looking for a beta that fits my very picky taste. :P I'm kinda afraid to permanently choose one, because what if she/he stops getting on fanfiction dot net, or what if they stop liking my story, or what if...? You get the point.

I just realized that the abbreviation for the title of this story is LOL. Lol, lol, I love it! XD It's this story's destiny to be hilarious! Now live up to that, Life of Lindir!

Part Two

Chapter 3.

Lindir showed up at the rendezvous that night, firstly, because he was a pushover, secondly, because he was curious, and thirdly, because he thought that perhaps if he pushed himself to be with Legolas it might heal him faster.
Legolas was already there. He looked very spooky, a dark shadow under the white tree of Gondor.
'Aaahh,' Legolas hissed (if you can hiss that word), 'so there you are. I was beginning to be afraid you'd been caught.'
'Caught?' Lindir gulped. 'Why would I be caught?'
'Oh, Gondorian soldiers are pretty sly,' said Legolas airily. 'If they'd seen you, they would have caught you.' Lindir wanted to ask why they would have caught him, but he was having difficulties with his voice box at the moment. It only wanted to squeak.
'Now listen,' Legolas went on. 'I need your help.'
'Before we go on,' said Lindir, interrupting, 'can you tell me why you're here, and not at Rivendell? Lord Elrond said that Thranduil was sending you there.'
'Yes,' said Legolas uncomfortably, 'but I elected to ignore that command. I mean, I'm always working. I needed a vacation. Anyway, as I was saying: I need your help.'
'With what?' asked Lindir suspiciously.
'Base-jumping.'
Lindir almost fainted.
'You are aware that this is against the law,' Legolas continued. 'Therefore it will have to be done in the utmost secrecy.'
Lindir stopped hyperventilating with an effort. 'Do you happen to know,' he said slowly, 'that there has been a new law made about base-jumping?' Legolas did not. 'It states that anyone who survives a base-jump will be sentenced to death.'
Legolas looked startled. Lindir felt smug. 'Hah,' he thought, 'I've settled him!'
'It does not signify,' said Legolas, shrugging. Lindir choked. 'All it means is that we must do it in even more secrecy. In the dead of night. No one must know it was us.'
'Us?!' Lindir turned pale. This was going too far. 'I am Not going to base-jump. And that's final!' He began to walk away.
'Wait,' said Legolas, 'that's not what I meant. I don't want you to base-jump; I want you to help me base-jump.'
'Help?' asked Lindir, turning back to face Legolas again. 'How?'
'Originally it was to guard my back, to stop any blade-happy Gondorian soldiers from stabbing me. Now it's that, and in addition to that being my witness.'
'In court?' asked Lindir dubiously, 'because you should know that I would tell the truth, so it wouldn't help you much.'
'No, no,' laughed Legolas. His laugh was so annoying. 'I mean, if I have to do this in secret, and no one is to know who it was, what good is it? None of my friends will believe me if I say that I did it. So I want you to tell them, too.'
'Friends?' asked Lindir. Somehow he was surprised that Legolas had any. 'But if I tell them, everyone will know it was you who jumped off!'
'Ah, but they won't have proof,' said Legolas. 'Come on, Lindir, it's the least you can do!'
'Why don't you just get your friends to help you?'
'It's complicated,' said Legolas. 'I don't think they would.'
'So you're coming to an enemy, to try to get him to do something for you your friends won't?'
'Well, yes,' said Legolas, as if that were natural.
What can I say? Lindir is a pushover.
'Oh, all right,' he said.


Authoress' Note:
I've noticed that there are never enough chapters to put in all the authoress' notes I want to. Oh, well; I'll deal with it (by putting two in this chapter XD). Today I have a question for you all: What is your favourite Middle Earthian weapon? Axe, sword, bow, knife, gunpowder :D, Morgul blade, bare hands, mace, none of the above? Please review and tell me! Oh, I almost forgot: add the Precious to that list. That's everybody's favourite weapon, right? :D I look forward to hearing from you!

P.S: I might just write that Aragorn fic...Hmm, I just need a bit of inspiration. It may take a little while, but it will be here someday! :D