I wake up in the morning next to House and smile. "Goodmorning."
"Hi." He rubs his eyes and looks at me. "I had the weirdest dream."
"What about?"
"Something about pan sex." He says clearly groggy.
"Pansexual." I frown at him.
"Yeah that! How'd you know that?"
"It wasn't a dream. I'm pansexual House."
"So that's what the Thirteen thing was."
I roll my eyes and hit him. "Stop that. I'm not sleeping with her."
"You are in my mind."
I sigh and get up and change into my yoga clothes and go do my yoga. House follows me. "What are you doing House?"
"Watching you." He replys sitting on the couch.
I sigh. "I can't relax with you staring at my ass."
"What if I stare at your breasts instead?"
I roll my eyes. "Not any better." I do a split.
He watches me. "You're really flexible."
"Yeah, I know. Stop staring at me." I'm reaching my torso over my leg holding my foot then get up and reach down and touch me feet that way. After that I go into childs pose.
"But I like watching you."
"I like yoga. When people aren't staring at me while I'm doing it." I go into downwards dog.
He groans and I glare at him. "I stop that."
"I really want to touch your ass."
"Like I said. Stop that."
He gets up and touches my ass and I fall out of my position glaring up at him. "I said not to touch my ass!" I get up giving up on yoga.
He pulls me onto the couch. "I want to kiss you."
I jump and get back up. "I wanted to do yoga."
"You did."
I roll my eyes and give you a peck on the lips. "There now you kissed me." I go to my room and put on blue jeans and a grey tee shirt and put my hair in a ponytail. I come back out. "I'm making breakfast. Want some?"
"Sure." He comes out to the kitchen and hugs me from behind.
I smile. "You don't have to do that. Will you get the eggs?"
"I want pancakes!"
I roll my eyes. "Will you get the eggs?"
"But I don't want eggs."
"First of all you know nothing about cooking and secondly go get the eggs." I laugh.
"What don't I know?"
"There are eggs in pancake batter. And I'm not making pancakes. I'm making eggs. I just won't make you any if you don't want eggs. Go get the eggs." I get out the spatula.
He grumbles at me and sits down. "No eggs! Pancakes! Let's go to IHOP or something."
I smile and put away the spatula. "Ok." I put on my running sneakers and get in the car. "I'm not wearing a skirt to day House."
"I know. You look good in jeans you know." He smiles at me.
"I smile. Thanks. You sure you'll survive not being able to try to touch me a whole car ride?" I say teasingly.
"I'll try through the pants." He smiles sweetly and pulls out of the driveway.
A few minutes later I feel his hand over the crotch of my jeans. "I swear to god I'll kill you if you put a hole in these I'll kill you."
"Fine." I feel him move his hand away from me and I frown for a minute then smile again. "I'm hungry."
"We're almost there."
"Good. What are you going to have?"
"Pancakes."
"Duh. We're going to IHOP. I meant what are you getting. Like I'm getting whipped cream and strawberries on mine."
"Oh. I'm having chocolate. And whipped cream and ice cream."
I roll my eyes. "You're a 12 year old boy."
He smiles. "No. I get laid way more than a 12 year old boy."
I raise an eyebrow. "Thats because they can't hire hookers."
"Well they can steal their fathers ids…"
I gasp. "You didn't!"
"No. I look nothing like him."
"Good." We pull into the parking lot and I get out and get our table waiting for him to get out of the bathroom.
He comes back and sits across from me and orders. We eat our food and I jump and spit out my strawberry so I don't choke on it blushing feeling his cane hit my knee. "What was that for?"
"It was an accident." He laughs. "You got strawberry everywhere."
I blush deeper and start to clean it up with my napkin. "You scared me and it was spit or choke."
He laughs again. "Save that for later."
I frown. "I'm not doing that House."
"Why not?"
"Ew?!" I frown.
"What's so ew about it?"
"Would you do it?"
"Depends. What do you mean?"
I glance at the table with the kids at it. "Later."
He rolls his eyes. "They have to learn anatomy eventually."
"House no." I see the parents looking at House nervously and I frown and mouth sorry too them and pay the bill. "Come on House." I pick up the food and put it in the to go box.
"But Mommy!"
"I swear to god House! Not the time or the place. Come on." I take his hand and pull him out of the restaurant. I jump as he hits my ass with the cane. "House!" I take his cane. "If you can't use it properly then you can't have it." I walk away and feel a little bitchy for doing it and sigh and return to give him his cane. "If you hit me again I'll kill you." He taps me with it playfully and I glare at him. "3 Hours of clinic duty Monday."
"I'm not going."
"Then I'm not sleeping with you until you make it up."
"But Mom!"
"Stop calling me Mom! I'm younger than you!"
"You want to be a Mom though."
"Not yours."
"No just my son."
"Or daughter." We're in the car.
He starts to drive. "So back to that choking thing."
"No."
"Why not?"
"Does it really sound fun for me to choke?" I frown at him.
"It feels really good."
"Not for the one choking. There are some things I won't do House. That's one of them." I sigh. "Do we need to list everything we aren't doing in the bedroom or can we just use common sense?"
"Anal?"
"No!" I cringe at the thought. "Ow."
"Have you ever tried it?"
"No. Not doing it. Ever."
"Fine. Anything else?"
"Just us. No one else."
"Not even on my birthday?"
"Maybe on your birthday."
He sits up straighter and I can't help but to laugh. "You better not be joking!" He says seriously.
"I'll invite Wilson over."
He frowns. "I'll kill you."
"I'll die of laughter first." I say smirking at him.
"Get my hopes up…" He mutters.
I act offended. "Am I not enough for you?"
"You kissing another woman would be hot."
"You kissing Wil…" I burst out laughing. "I'm sorry I can't even finish that sentence seriously." I smile.
He rolls his eyes. "I'm not kissing Wilson. Not that he'd let me."
"I'd be more jealous than turned on if you did." I respond.
"Well you jealous turns me on."
"I'd be jealous if you cleaned my house." I try knowing it won't work.
"No you wouldn't."
"But I'd be turned on."
"I'm not cleaning your house."
"I tried." I smile taking my keys and going inside. "See you Monday."
"Can't I stay?" He smiles at me.
I look in the door then back at you. "Me time?"
He nods. "See you Monday."
"You can come over for lunch tomorrow if you want."
"See you then." I close the door and watch TV.
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