A/N

Rating and disclaimer from the first chapter apply.

Chapter 9.

Brittany was the first one to wake up the next morning by rays of light shining in through the window. It took a second for her to realize where she was and then everything dawned on her. She was certain it had all been a dream but now... waking up naked in Santana's bed in Santana's arms certainly brought her back to reality. She should be freaking out but oddly enough she wasn't. Santana's arm was still draped protectively over her stomach and her own hand was resting on top of Santana's arm. She was so warm and her skin was so soft. Slowly she started to trace invisible patterns on Santana's skin, dragging her fingertips up and down her forearm. Santana started to stir behind her and the blonde slowly turned around so she was facing the brunette. She was so beautiful, Brittany couldn't help herself, she reached out her hand and pushed a few stray strands of hair behind Santana's ear then let her hand rest on the side of her neck as she slowly entangled her fingers in soft dark brown hair.

"I thought you would be gone when I woke up..." Santana said softly as she slowly opened her eyes.

Meeting piercing blue ones her heart skipped a beat.

"I thought so too..." Brittany admitted as she slowly stroked Santana's hair.

"This is crazy..." she whispered.

Her blue eyes were filled with fear over what they had done and she was terrified to even think about the consequences. Santana put a hand on her cheek and moved her thumb slowly back and forth over her soft skin.

"I know... Do... Do you regret it?" Santana whispered tentatively, terrified of what the blonde would answer.

Brittany looked deep into Santana's dark eyes and thought about what she'd just been asked. Slowly she shook her head and Santana released a breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"I just... I don't know what to do, I'm so confused and and... I just..." she sighed and pulled away, wrapping a sheet around her body she sat up on the edge of the bed with her back turned towards Santana.

"I just don't know Santana..." she said dejected.

Santana's heart sank, she crawled up behind the blonde and wrapped her arms around her waist. Brittany sighed and leaned back into Santana's embrace for a moment but then removed the brunette's arms from around her waist and stood up to gather her clothes. Santana held back her tears as she watched Brittany get dressed. They shouldn't have let things go this far, they shouldn't have...

When the blonde had dressed she turned around and met Santana's eyes and it hurt to see them so filled with pain.

"I better get back to the cabin before Anita wakes up." she said. Santana looked down on her hands and nodded slowly.

Brittany looked at her, she wanted to stay. She wanted to stay in Santana's arms but she wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of that so going back to the cottage was her only option. She lifted her hand and pushed the door handle down then pushed the door open. A couple of tears rolled down Santana's cheeks when she heard the squeaking of the old door but she wiped them away quickly, not wanting the blonde to see her cry and she didn't want to cry, but everything just felt so emotional. Brittany had stopped in the doorway, one foot out of the door and her hand still on the handle. Her heart was beating so fast, her mind was telling her to keep walking back to the cottage but her heart was begging her to stay. She turned around and as her eyes found Santana she felt a pang in her heart. The other woman sat on the edge of the bed, still looking down at her hands and the blonde noticed that a few tears escaped Santana's eyes which the brunette quickly wiped away.

Santana didn't notice that Brittany was still there, standing by the door looking at her. Brittany couldn't take it, she walked over to Santana and cupped her face then leaned down and captured her lips. Santana was a bit startled but as soon as Brittany's lips touched hers she wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. Brittany wiped away new tears from Santana's cheeks as she continued to kiss her softly. With a final lingering kiss she slowly pulled away and rested her forehead against Santana's.

"I really have to go back..." she whispered. Santana nodded.

Brittany kissed her again and searched her eyes as she pulled back. When their eyes locked Brittany slowly stroked her cheek.

"You said there was a place you wanted to show me? Take me there later so we can talk some more in private?" Brittany asked.

"Okay..." Santana said.

"Okay." Brittany said affirmative and gave Santana a warm smile.

She kissed her tenderly again and then hurried back to the cottage before Anita would wake up.

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Santana crawled back into bed and pulled the covers over her body. She felt completely drained, so many emotions were running through her body and she couldn't quite believe what had actually happened between them last night. Santana knew she'd been acting thoughtless but when Brittany had shown up last night she just couldn't stop herself. Touching her so intimately had been amazing and then, to wake up holding her had felt like a dream. She realized that sleeping together complicated things even more than the kiss had, yet she didn't regret it. She would never ever regret it.

When Brittany had pulled away from her she thought she'd ruin everything between them, that she would lose her before she even had her. So when the blonde had kissed her and promised they would talk more later, it was as if a huge stone was lifted from her chest. Now all she had to do was get through breakfast with her mother and Brittany without making her mother suspicious, which was easier said than done. Anita Lopez was an expert on sensing if there was even the slightest bit of tension between two people. So she was definitely worried that her mother would start asking questions she wasn't ready to answer.

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Two hours later Santana entered the cottage and heard sounds of chattering coming from the kitchen. Bracing herself she took a deep breath before she walked over to the kitchen door and peaked her head inside.

"Morning. I'm just gonna take a quick shower, be back in a bit." she said and disappeared as quickly as she'd shown up.

"Okay. Good morning to you too." Anita replied to the closing door.

Brittany had never looked up when she heard Santana's voice, afraid that her feelings would be written all over her face if she did. She stood by the stove and was making an omelet. A couple of minutes later the dish was done so she put the omelet on a plate and carried it to the table.

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Anita stood by the counter and was busy with slicing the bread while Brittany carried plates and cups from the cupboard to the table and as she put the last cup down she walked over to the fridge to get some orange juice.
When she closed the refrigerator door and turned around Santana walked back in. Their eyes met and Brittany instantly felt her heart speed up. Santana smiled sweetly and Brittany couldn't help but smile back. Anita put the bread in a basket and put it on the table.

"Morning sweetie. Did you sleep well?" Anita asked.

Brittany almost dropped the juice bottle and felt her cheeks flush. She looked down and made her way over to the table and sat down.

"Y-yes, I did." Santana answered shortly not daring to look at the blonde.

"Good. Well come on, take a seat." Anita gestured for Santana to sit.

The brunette sat down next to her mother and busied herself with the food in front of her. Anita was keeping a conversation going all by herself. Brittany was chewing on a piece of bread and nodded in agreement every now and then, she actually had no idea what the woman was talking about. She tried not to look at Santana but she couldn't resist. She kept stealing glances at Santana who met her eyes and held her gaze for a moment or two.

"Santana? Are you listening?" Anita asked and looked at her daughter.

Santana quickly looked away from Brittany and turned towards her mother.

"What?" she said.

Anita looked from Santana to the blonde on the other side of the table then back at her daughter with a quizzical expression on her face.

"Is everything okay between you two?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course." Santana answered quickly, maybe a little too quickly she thought, but decided to not give her mother a chance to interrogate further.

"So, you were saying?" she asked and thankfully it looked like her mother dropped the other subject.

"I was just saying that I need to go into town to get some supplies but I shouldn't be more than one, two hours tops. You're more than welcome to join me if you two haven't made other plans already?" Anita said.

"Actually, I've promised to take Brittany to Merrill's bay later." Santana said.

"Oh, well if you girls head out to the bay maybe we can have a late lunch together when I get back?" Anita suggested.

"That sounds like a great idea Anita." Brittany said.

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They all helped clean up in the kitchen before Anita headed into town and left the two women alone. Santana had returned to the boathouse to change into her bikini and pack a backpack. When she walked back to the cottage Brittany stood outside on the grass and waited for her.

"Hey..." she said softly.

Brittany turned around and smiled gently.

"Hi..."

"Are you ready?" Santana asked softly.

"Yeah." The blonde said and nodded.

"Okay. It takes about 25 minutes to get there so we should get going." Santana said.

"Okay."

Santana took the lead and Brittany followed, walking a few steps behind.

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They had walked for about 20 minutes and their conversation had been very minimal, both felt pretty awkward around each other and didn't really know how to act. Santana was walking a few steps ahead and turned around to check if the blonde was still with her every now and then.

"There's an opening in the woods up ahead where we have to go down a slope and then we're almost there." Santana explained.

"Okay, it's been quite a walk, you didn't exaggerate that part." Brittany said as she took a sip of water from her water bottle then handled the bottle to Santana.

Their fingers brushed slightly when Santana took the bottle from Brittany's hand and instantly she felt a tingle all over her body.

"I know but I promise it's worth it." Santana said and gave the blonde a small smile before she took a few sips of water as well.

She gave the bottle back to Brittany who put it back inside her backpack.

"Ready?" Santana asked. Brittany nodded and they continued.

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Santana had reached the bottom of the slope and Brittany was a few steps behind. Just before she reached the bottom she slipped on a loose rock which made her slide the rest of the way down. It wasn't a hard fall so she didn't hurt herself but she felt a bit embarrassed.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked as she walked over to the blonde sitting on the ground.

"Yeah I'm fine, didn't watch where I was going that's all." Brittany said and put her hands down beside her to push herself up.

"Here, let me help you." Santana said gently and reached out her hand.

Brittany met her eyes and they just looked at each other for a moment, then the blonde slowly lifted her hand and took hold of Santana's who helped her to her feet. Slowly releasing Santana's hand Brittany thanked the other woman for the help and brushed the dirt of her shorts and legs.

"It's just a little bit further." Santana said and started to walk.

Brittany looked at Santana's back as the brunette continued walking. Taking a few quick steps she caught up with the woman and walked beside her. Santana glanced over her shoulder and smiled when Brittany came up beside her. They walked side by side when suddenly their hands brushed together. Santana felt a jolt run through her body by that brief touch, she wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her hand but she stopped herself. Brittany felt her heart speed up by that brief touch and when their hands brushed together again she tentatively reached for Santana's hand. Santana couldn't breathe when she felt Brittany reach for her hand. She dared not look at the blonde at that moment, she just slowly closed her fingers around Brittany's hand and continued walking.

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A minute later they came to what appeared to be a pretty overgrown part of the forest and Brittany hesitated when Santana lead her straight into what appeared to be impenetrable vegetation.

"Are you sure this is the right way?" she asked hesitatingly.

"Yes, it's on the other side. I know it looks like, well, just a bunch of overgrown trees and bushes but there's a narrow path just behind the first trees." Santana said and squeezed her hand gently.

"Just trust me..." she said as she slowly intertwined their fingers and looked straight into Brittany's blue eyes.

The blonde could only nod and when Santana motioned for her to follow, she did. Santana lead her through the forest on the narrow path which grew wider as they continued forward. Then the woods opened up and they reached a small secluded beach with large trees growing on either side like a perfect frame. On one side a large tree was hanging out over the water, obviously the forces of nature had made the tree grow in an abnormal angle and made it resemble a palm tree. The water was beautiful and had a different color than the water by the cottage, Brittany thought it was a bit strange as it was the same lake after all, but nevertheless it was incredibly beautiful.

"God it's beautiful here..." the blonde said in awe as her eyes continued to take in the beautiful surroundings.

Santana looked at Brittany, she was so beautiful.

"Yeah it is..." she whispered and let her eyes wander over the blonde's features.

"So..." Santana continued.

Brittany looked at her and felt Santana's hand gently holding her own. Thoughts of last night invaded her mind and she was suddenly filled with an enormous amount of guilt for being unfaithful. She'd never ever cheated on Nate or anyone else she'd dated before. She'd actually never thought about cheating either but Santana had turned her world upside down and the attraction between them had been too strong. She knew that it was a lousy excuse but she couldn't explain it any other way. It all started to get too much and she suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. She dropped Santana's hand and walked down to the water's edge.

"Brittany..." Santana said softly and watched the other woman drag her hands through her hair.

Brittany knew she'd told Santana that they would talk at the beach but she didn't know what to say anymore. The more she thought about the whole situation the guiltier she felt. She turned her head and looked at Santana who was still standing in the same spot looking back at her.
God you confuse me Santana Lopez...

They looked at each other for a moment and Santana couldn't read the expression in Brittany's eyes and that started to scare her a little. The blonde turned around again and closed her eyes as the guilt was starting to consume her.
I can't do this... I'm engaged and... and I love Nate... I can't do this to him, it's not right... But the way she looks at me...the way she makes me feel... No! Don't go there. It has to be this way... it has to...

"Brittany please..." Santana said softly again.

"Talk to me..." she pleaded.

Brittany turned around and faced Santana again, she could feel tears start to well up in her eyes.

"I can't do this Santana... Last night... I...it was wrong...it shouldn't have happened, I... I love Nate and we're getting married in a couple of months and... and...I can't do this..." she choked.

"What? Brittany can we talk abo-" Santana started but the blonde interrupted her.

"No! I-I have to go... It was a mistake coming here….I-I…I h-have to..." Brittany stuttered trying hard to fight back tears as she rushed pass the other woman and ran back through the woods ignoring Santana's voice calling after her.

Brittany didn't stop, instead she hurried through the overgrown forest and ran up the slope. She didn't slow down until she reached the main path that lead back to the cottage.