Bpov
Monday, I went to school, knowing I would be missing Tuesday for the funeral. Edward was really nice to me, when we were alone in the weight room. But when we were around people, he kind of acted like I wasn't there. I knew he had these guards built up, but I wished he would let go.
Tuesday, everyone went to the funeral, even Edward. At some point, I covered my face and cried. I felt a strong hand on my neck, and I didn't need to look to know it was Edward. I placed my hand on my shoulder, and he took it without even thinking twice. He made me feel better. At the end, we were given time to pay our respects. I stayed in my seat to give Jake's family time. My mom got up to get some water, and Edward moved quickly next to me. He held me close, and the best part of all, he didn't say anything. Everyone else had something to say.
"Bella," Billy said as he came up to us, "Keep in touch, yes?"
"I will," I whispered.
"He told me a couple of weeks ago he was going to marry you if he got better. He loved you so much, and because of that love, he hung on as long as he could," he told me, and my tears fell more. Edward even wiped some away for me. "Thank you for giving him happiness." That did me in, and I cried even more. Edward was quick to pull me into his chest, and I felt Alice touch my back. I knew it was her, because she was the one to use her nails. "Take care of her," I heard Billy say, as he petted the back of my head.
I took a deep breath, as I sat up. Edward looked like he was going to cry, when he handed me a tissue and wiped more tears away. I stood to pay my final respects. Edward had his arm around my waist, and Alice held my hand. Jacob didn't want the world to see him so sick and thin, so my eyes settled on the picture of him. His shiny bald head, big brown eyes and the best smile in the world was shown perfectly. Sue was sitting right next to the casket, and she took my hand without saying a word.
"Can I get a copy of that picture?" I asked.
"I gave it to your mother already," she said, as we shared a smile. "Keep up the fight, because if you don't," she said standing up, "he'll kick your ass." I laughed through my tears, and she hugged me. "That handsome boy over there can't take his eyes off you."
"That's Edward," I told her. "I told Jake about him."
"Jake told me he's the one for you sent by God."
"Was he hopped up on morphine?" I asked, and we laughed.
"Yeah, but you know I believe in the strangest things," she said hugging me once more. "Introduce me?" I looked over at Edward and nodded my head for him to come over. He looked to see if there was someone standing behind him, making me giggle. He put his hands deep in his pockets and made his way over to us.
"Sue, this is my friend, Edward," I said with a smile. "This is Sue, Jake's mom."
"It's nice to meet you, sorry for your loss," he said politely.
"It's very nice to meet you. Take good care of her, or my son's spirit will haunt you," she said, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
"Um…I'll do my best," he stuttered, making me giggle.
"She's kidding…kind of," I said with a small laugh. I knew he didn't know what to think. "Jake got his sense of humor from her."
"Best thing I could give him," she said with a proud smile. I place my hand on the casket and smiled at Jake.
"I love you," I told Jake with a sigh. I felt Edward's hand on the small of my back, and I wiped my final tears away. I was okay, and I knew he was not hurting anymore. I walked away with Edward in tow.
"You need to get away?" he whispered to me.
"Yes," I breathed, as I looked up to him. He held his hand out to me, and pulled me to where my mom and Esme were standing.
"May I use the car?" he asked Esme.
"For what?" she asked.
"If it's okay with you," he said to my mother, "I'd like to take Bella someplace quiet."
"Well," mom said with a small smile, "I think that's a great idea." Esme handed Edward a set of keys, and he thanked her.
He took my hand, and we headed out the door. The ride was quiet, and it was just what I needed. We drove to his house and then walked down through the back yard. He handed me his hoodie, and I quickly pulled it on. It was a little chilly out. We walked a ways, and then we reached a stream with a broken tree.
"It's peaceful out here," he said, as I breathed deeply.
"It's perfect," I told him, as I sat.
"I should've grabbed a blanket, you're gonna get your dress dirty," he said running his fingers through his unusually tamed hair.
"I don't care, it's fine," I told him. "Thank you for this."
"Sure," he said sitting next to me. "His mom scared me a little."
"That's Sue, she and Jake both make the most inappropriate jokes," I said with a laugh. "I told Jake about you a few weeks ago. He told Sue you were the one, when he was hopped up on morphine." He laughed with me, and I sighed.
"You coming to school tomorrow?" he asked making conversation.
"Yeah, I've already missed too much time this year," I told him, as I picked at the high grass.
"I highly doubt anyone would blame you," he said sweetly.
"Life has to go on, that's one thing I've learned," I said, as I swung my feet and enjoyed the quiet. "If all this wouldn't have happened, would we be here right now?"
"I don't know," he sighed.
"Do you feel obligated to be my friend?" I asked, and he scowled at me.
"What is it with these stupid questions?" he asked, as if I was offending him.
"I don't think they're stupid. I think they're valid questions," I said, and he laughed without humor.
"Yeah, we've become friends. Would it have happened so soon? Probably not, but it has, so…" he said trailing off. "You aren't going to make this a big deal are you?"
"No, I was just wondering. I really like you," I told him looking down.
"I like you, too, but things are complicated, I'm complicated," he said, and I bit my lip. "It's not that I don't want to, it's just, I shouldn't."
"That's a shitty answer," I said.
"It's the honest answer," he told me, an I nodded.
"That's one of the things I like the most about you. You don't give in, and you tell me like it is," I said, and he chuckled. "You talk to me like a normal person and not some frail piece of glass."
"Yeah, your dad called you fragile, and I almost told him to fuck off," he told me, and I laughed. "I don't think you're breakable emotionally…physically, yes. I see how tired you get and how little you eat. I understand you're still recovering. Why does Mike think you owe him something?" he asked completely changing the subject.
"He donated blood," I said, and Edward groaned. "I am grateful, and I probably should go out to a movie with him, but he really creeps me out. I feel bad…"
"Don't feel bad. I know I don't want you to go out with him," Edward said quickly cutting me off. "I honestly want you to stay far away from him."
"Okay, but is it just Mike you don't want me dating?"
"Fuck!" he yelled at me, making me jump. I didn't think I would ever get used to his mood changes. "No, I don't want you dating anyone. God, sometimes I swear you're fucking stupid," he said, and I bit my cheek trying not to laugh. "You know I fucking like you, you're forcing me to admit it, and it's not fair."
"I didn't mean to force you. I was just wondering where your head was at. You're not an easy person to read," I said, as he pulled at his hair.
"I'm sorry," he said and turned to look at me. "I don't know how to do this."
"Me, either, but I know I tried to push you away, but you stayed," I said, and he looked down.
"I'm sorry about the shower…I wasn't thinking," he said, and I smiled.
"You made me feel better. If you didn't come in, I probably would've sat there and cried 'til the water ran cold," I told him, as his fingers touched mine.
"I liked kissing you…I've kissed other girls, but our kiss felt so…real?"
"That means it meant something," I said, and he rolled his eyes.
"Has it meant something for you before?" he asked. I nodded. "Jake?"
"Yeah…he was my first," I told him. "I never thought I'd see eighteen, and now I will."
"What are the chances the cancer can come back?"
"I don't know. It could, but I don't know the percentage or anything," I told him, and he nodded.
"I don't want to start anything with you and then have you die…" he said quietly.
"I'm not dying any time soon," I told him, as he looked up to the sky.
"I think it's going to rain, we should head back," he said. I sighed. I was not ready to go back. "We don't have to go back to the reception, just back to the house," he told me, and I smiled.
I was feeling tired and sluggish. Edward held my hand, and I felt rain hit my face. "Get on my back," he said, and I giggled. I hoped he wasn't being serious.
Okay there will be another update this coming week!
I never meant for such a lag of time, but so much has been going on and today things have finally calmed down.
