After Adam and I were done talking, and he'd gone back inside, I still sat there in the porch swing
for awhile, thinking, as the sun faded away. It was so quiet and peaceful, there on the front porch.
I thought about a lot of things, sitting there. I thought about what Adam had said, and about how
much I missed spending time with Guthrie, and just being able to joke around with him.
I missed simple things, like going for ice cream after school, and then Guthrie letting me
drive his truck home, bumping along on the country roads, laughing.
I made my mind up as to what I was going to do. I went inside and found the living room
fairly quiet. Evan was laying on the couch, watching a western on TV. Crane was sitting at
his desk figuring something on a piece of paper.
When he saw me, he said, "Want to sit here to finish your homework?"
"No, that's okay. I just have a few math problems left. I'll do them upstairs."
I gathered up my books, and said goodnight to Crane. I stopped beside the couch
where Evan was laying.
"Want to watch with me?" he asked.
"Not tonight. Do you know where Guthrie is?"
Evan turned his attention from the TV screen to me instead.
"Hey, now," he said. "I thought Adam said no more fisticuffs."
"I'm not, silly. I just want to know where he is."
"I think he went upstairs."
"Okay." I told Evan goodnight, too, and went upstairs. After I dropped my books on
my bed, I went to knock on Hannah and Adam's bedroom door, and Adam opened it, wearing a t-shirt and
sweatpants. I'm so accustomed to seeing Adam in his jeans and western shirts that it always
gives me pause to see him looking so casual, and comfortable looking.
"Hey," he greeted me.
"Hey. I just wanted to say goodnight."
"You just now coming in?"
"Yeah."
"Come in here, Harlie, and give me a hug," Hannah said from where she was curled up
on the bed.
I went over and leaned down to hug her.
"Are you feeling alright?" I asked.
"Yes. Fine. How about you? Feeling a little better?"
"A little."
When I passed by where Adam was standing, he looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"How about me? Do I get a hug, too?"
I nodded, and gave him a hard hug around his waist.
"Wow," he said, pretending to wheeze. "About to squeeze the stuffing out of me, there, sugar."
I giggled.
" Think about what I said, alright?" Adam said quietly, against my ear.
"I will. I did. I'm going to talk to Guthrie."
"That's my girl," he said, and kissed the top of my head.
7777777
I went to stand in front of Guthrie's bedroom door. I could hear his radio playing.
Standing there in the hall, I was trying to get my thoughts together, when Crane
came up the stairs and stopped beside me.
"Thought you were going to bed, peanut," he said.
"I'm heading there soon. I'm going to talk to Guthrie first."
"Oh."
When I just stood there without moving or knocking, Crane looked at me
and then at Guthrie's closed door.
"You're out here, but Guthrie's in there, right?" Crane asked, looking amused.
"I'm trying to work up my courage," I admitted.
Crane leaned against the wall in the hallway. "You can do it," he said. "I believe
in you."
"Thanks, Crane."
"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak,
Courage is also what it takes to sit and down and listen," Crane quoted.
I squinted up at him, thoughtfully. "That means to listen to what Guthrie has to
say, too, right?"
"Right."
"Okay." I raised my hand to knock, and then lowered it again. I looked at Crane
and shrugged.
"You'll be out here until Christmas at this rate," Crane said, and then he rapped
on Guthrie's door with his knuckles.
"Hey, Guth!" he called. "You busy?"
"Naw, come on in," Guthrie called back.
"There you go," Crane said, with a smile, as he went on down the hall to his own
room.
"Yeah. Here I go," I muttered to myself, and opened the door to go in.
Guthrie was laying on his back on his bed, tossing a baseball up into the air, and
catching it, then tossing it again. When I came in, he looked at me, not bothering to
disguise his surprise. I stayed in the open doorway, looking at him tremulously.
Guthrie sat up, and reached over to turn off his radio.
"Hi," I said.
"Hey."
"Crane was trying to help, knocking like that-" I said falteringly.
"Huh."
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked.
"I really don't feel like fighting anymore."
"I don't either. I just want to talk."
"Okay," Guthrie said, sounding wary. "Come on in."
I stepped into the room, and closed the door behind me, leaning against it.
`"I shouldn't have needled you like I did this afternoon, or poked you. I'm sorry."
Guthrie looked somewhat stunned by my apology.
"I guess I got kind of carried away, too," he said.
"I don't like Megan," I said slowly, "but from now on I'm going to keep my comments
and opinions about her to myself." At Guthrie's startled look, I added, "At least I'll try
to."
A glimmer of a smile lurked at the corner of Guthrie's mouth.
"Yeah? For real?"
"Yeah."
"How come?" he asked then.
"What do you mean?"
"How come you decided that?"
"Well, something Adam said got me to thinking."
"Yeah. He tends to say things that make a person think. What'd he say this time?"
"That there shouldn't be anything big enough to make us stop being friends."
"Huh," Guthrie said, looking thoughtful, and tossing the baseball back and forth between his hands, "I
guess that's right."
"Okay, then," I said, easing back and opening the door again. "I'll see you later."
"Okay. But, hey, Har, I don't like Seth, either. But I don't think I can keep quiet about
it, if you want to hang out with him."
"I'm not going to date him. Adam says I can't, because of what you said about him."
"Alright, but I'm serious, he really is a bad guy. Remember when Kristin Atherton had
that black eye last year?" he said, mentioning a girl who'd been a freshman at the same
time as me.
"Yeah," I said, remembering that Kristin hadn't wanted to talk about what had happened.
"Everybody thought her stepfather did it, and she would never say."
"It wasn't her stepfather. It was Seth." Guthrie looked grim, and the muscles at the
sides of his jaw were working in and out.
I came back in, and shut the door behind me again, looking wide-eyed at Guthrie.
"Why would Seth do something like that? And why wouldn't Kristin tell the sheriff or somebody?"
"He did it, because he's an ass. He bragged about it for days afterward. He gets a charge out of
getting rough with girls. He even admits that."
"But, why wouldn't she tell somebody-"
"He told her if she said anything, that he'd tell all the guys some perverted stuff about
her."
"What about her family, though? When they saw her eye?"
"Probably nobody at her house gives a damn. Her mom drinks a lot, and her stepfather's
a real ass."
"What about Buddy, though?" I asked, talking about Kristin's older brother, who was
Evan's age. "Why wouldn't he help her, and do something?"
"Not every older brother is like what we have, Har," Guthrie said. "Some of them
don't give a rip about their younger siblings or what happens to them."
I was silent for several long moments, remembering what had happened when Guthrie,
Ford and Evan had tracked Charles down at college, and how Ford and Evan basically
kicked Todd Roy's butt because he got a little rough with me. I couldn't imagine what any of
them, or Daniel, Crane, Brian or Adam would do if a boy ever gave me a black eye.
I suddenly felt really sorry for Kristin. It must be awful to not have anyone looking out
for you, or caring about the things that hurt you.
"Wow," I said. It was all I could think of to say.
"Yeah," Guthrie said, tossing the ball from hand to hand again.
"Why didn't you just tell me this, instead of saying all that stuff about how he doesn't
do the science lab work?"
"Well, he doesn't do the work, but I never said anything about Kristin or any of the other
girls he's roughed up, because I never thought you'd get all cozy with him."
"I wasn't getting cozy with him," I protested. " I just rode home with him one time. And I wouldn't have
done that if I'd known about this stuff."
"You were pretty darn friendly with him. He's going to think you're interested in him now."
I wanted to grit my teeth in irritation, but instead I closed my eyes, and muttered,
"Concern. He's concerned," remembering Kristin and the lack of brotherly concern in her
life.
"Huh?" Guthrie asked me.
"Nothing." I opened the door yet again. "I'll tell him tomorrow that I'm not going to the
dance with him."
"What?! I didn't know he asked you to that!" Guthrie expostulated.
"Don't get tense, Guthrie. I'll take care of it."
"Yeah. Okay. Let me know if you need help."
"Okay. Night, Guth."
"Hey," he said, halting me again.
"What?"
"I didn't mean it when I said I was tired of you riding with me. You know?"
"I know." I gave him a grin. "But you know what?"
"What?"
" I DID mean it when I said I was tired of watching you and Megan suck face."
Guthrie aimed a pillow at me, and I shut the door behind me, smiling as I went
down the hall to my own room.
7
The next morning at breakfast, Guthrie and I actually carried on a conversation
with each other, and when we were putting our dishes in the sink, there was some
playful scuffling and shoving between us. We turned from the sink to find the entire
family watching us with interest, relief, and in Hannah's case, a little tearfulness.
"What's going on?" Guthrie asked.
"Just nice to see you two acting decent to each other again," Adam said.
"Yeah. I was about ready to take you both to the barn and knock your heads
together," Brian said, with his customary bluntness.
"Don't cry, Hannah," Guthrie said, stopping beside her chair, and squeezing her hand.
"It's pure gladness, Guth," Hannah told him. "I don't like seeing my babies at odds with
one another."
"This family is truly amazing," Clare said, from her spot at the table. She even
looked relieved, and I realized that Guthrie and I's several week feud had been
a strain for everybody.
"So you still think I'm amazing, even after almost four months of matrimony?" Brian
asked Clare.
"I said the FAMILY was amazing," Clare said in clarification, looking at Brian out of
the corner of her eye, with a smile.
"Oh, yeah?" he countered.
"That's right, cowboy," she said, tartly, and Brian scooped her up out of her chair,
and sat her on his lap, kissing her, right there at the table, in front of everyone.
"How's that for amazing?" he demanded.
Clare's pretty face was lit up and she ran a hand thru Brian's dark hair.
"Totally amazing," she said, and Evan groaned.
"Seriously, you two, some of us are trying to eat, here."
I giggled, and Guthrie punched my arm. "Let's go," he said, and we headed
out to his truck to go to school.
7
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