A/N: Sorry for the long hiatus, I was taking part in a writing competition and it helped do some deep diving into certain characters. But the good news is that I am back. I hope you all enjoy the latest installment.
ooOoo
"Legillimens!" Severus cast at the witch sitting across from him. He pressed through her swirling shield of inane thoughts, superfluous feelings, and struck sharply into her inner defences. Bright light blinded him as he pressed his assault deeper, it fought him instinctively and sought to drive him out. Exhausted by the effort, he finally withdrew and slumped back into his chair, utterly spent. He did hand Hermione a handkerchief for her bloody nose.
"Remarkable," he said, immensely proud of her. This was their sixth session and he knew dismantling her shields would be a brutal and grueling task. The deeper defences she had learned to construct also had the feel of a natural response, and not a conditioned one. If she were ever subjected to an intense mental attack, the Legilimens responsible would be left with the feel of a natural occlumens…rather than someone that had been taught classically.
Hermione put pressure on her nose and smiled a bit, feeling an incredible wave of accomplishment run over her. Managing to obscure anything from the wizard sitting across from her was a herculean feat in her mind. While she might not be able to sustain it for long against someone like Voldemort, against most others this would be sufficient.
Severus stood and went to the sideboard, pouring them both a drink. "Have you given thought to what you will do over the holidays?" he asked her.
"I want to go and see the state of my London house. Hopefully it's in the same condition as the one in Bath. Would you like to come with me?" she asked him, a bit hesitantly. Things had been very neutral since the night after the Order meeting. She felt guilty about the kiss. Clearly she had crossed a line he hadn't wanted violated.
"It would be my pleasure, Hermione," he said. "I could meet you in Muggle London, once you get off the Hogwarts Express."
"That makes the most sense." An excited flutter passed through her stomach, making Hermione wish that the holiday was here already.
"Then it's decided," Severus said with finality.
"Have you heard anything from Draco?" she asked.
"No, but I do not expect to. In this case, it really is a matter of no news, is good news." No news meant that the Dark Lord had not yet located them. There had been a meeting the night after Lucius's defection, and an eerie nothingness ever since. The Dark Lord was keeping to his word to not bother him overmuch this term.
"I'm glad he's safe. He might be an ass, but I don't think he'd have lasted long as a Death Eater." There was a vulnerability to Draco, as though he felt the need to pretend to be much stronger than he was. Something about how Severus described Voldemort led Hermione to believe that he'd enjoy breaking down a boy like that, purely for his own twisted pleasures.
"I tend to agree with you." Severus said softly. "He tries very hard to be like his father, but he is undeniably his mother's son. He's actually my godson." Why he'd offered the information honestly puzzled Severus, but more and more he wanted this witch to know him.
"I'd always wondered," she said, sipping the drink he handed her. "This tastes different…" She said looking at it speculatively.
"It's a much older, muggle kind of scotch." He was coming to know all of her little expressions, and could see that she preferred fire whiskey, but was too polite to say so. Always so preoccupied with her manners, it was quite endearing. "I should apologize for my behaviour of late. I've been distant, and given the nature of our assignment it is inexcusable." He said addressing the issue at last. The kiss had become the large, immovable object between them, and the blame for that rested purely on his shoulders.
"It's my fault, I shouldn't have done that." Hermione blushed a little, dropping her eyes. "It was just a spur of the moment thing. I'm sorry I offended you."
Severus took a deep breath. "No, you misunderstand. It was not unwelcome, and that is the problem," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. "You are…young, and things are going to become complicated enough without emotions clouding the issue. I would pretend to simply be flattered, but I did promise to try and be truthful with you." He watched the realization of what he was saying spread across her face. "I am not a casual man, Hermione. Should the 'spur of the moment' hit you again, be aware that I may not let you simply pull back and walk away." He gave her the only warning he would ever utter. She was intelligent enough to take it to heart.
"I consider myself duly informed." She answered with a small nod, a bit of a shiver going down her spine at the intense look in his eyes.
Severus merely nodded. "We will leave it at that then." He had acknowledged his interest, and would wait for her to express her own or not. He could manufacture memories of intimacy if the Dark Lord pressed for them, at least for the moment. Her own would be harder to fake, and he knew that Tom would eventually insist on meeting the girl.
Hermione sipped her drink, feeling the warmth slip through her. "I think this is the first year I haven't been losing my head prepping for exams," she said, shifting the subject.
"I am quite certain that even without ever opening another book, you'd manage to pass your Newts next year." He snorted and looked at her. "You don't need to try so desperately hard you know." The hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
She frowned. "I'm not!"
"You are," he retorted. "You have a brilliant mind, Hermione…but you don't need to prove that every second of the day. I assure you, any teacher that has had the pleasure of instructing you is most aware of that fact. You take naturally to most areas of study, though admittedly you do seem to struggle in areas where the magic is less structured and more by feel. Hence your E on your Defence Owl." He said, pausing a moment as a bit of inspiration hit him. "Put the books aside for a month, and just feel your way through your magic. Consider it an assignment."
"But what about class, and my homework assignments?" She all but gaped at him.
"As you've memorized all your texts for the year, I have no doubt that you'll still turn in work far above the standard of your peers," he teased her, mood lightened by the alcohol. "Magic has existed longer than paper, and far pre-dates the printed word. Once you are able to connect your intent and magic intuitively, you will begin to truly understand the work in your classes beyond the text-book explanations. True mastery comes from within," he said while looking into her eyes. "It will infinitely improve your prowess with occlumency, as well as your dueling abilities."
She bit her bottom lip a little. "I'll try it."
"Good." Severus found his eyes lingering on where her bottom lip was caught between her teeth. "You should head back to your dormitory, I have some marking yet to complete." He said as he set his empty glass aside. It was best to send her safely back to her dormitory before he took things too far. These days she featured far too frequently in his dreams, and it was tempting fate to keep her here any longer than was necessary for their lessons.
"Goodnight Severus," she said and stood, gathering her things and slipping out of his rooms. It was still early enough that anyone seeing her in the dungeons would just assume she had been down working in one of the potions labs. His challenge to her was a daunting one, just the thought of not opening a book for a whole month left her almost twitchy. She knew he had his reasons for it and she would try, but she had no idea how she was going to manage.
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
Severus saw little of Hermione outside of classes for the next two weeks. The time leading up to the spring break was always packed tight. He had to get caught up on marking, and tended to assign more essay work to ensure everyone was preparing adequately for their examinations. It had been with immense satisfaction that he'd noticed the absence of books on Hermione's workstation during class, working purely off the blackboard instructions and her own knowledge of the potion. Pride had flickered through him when he noticed her adjusting her potion slightly, trying to improve her potion intuitively. While it had not resulted in her usual standard of perfection, he was pleased to see her trying new things and following her instincts.
Curfew was looming and Severus was patrolling the dungeons in search of little snakes that were flouting the rules. He might not take points or publically reprimand them, but every single member of his house was aware that he did not condone getting caught. Those detentions were always imaginative, and he had a fresh batch of shrivelfigs that needed skinning. He heard a muffled sound coming from the first year potions room and paused, not able to identify the words but the general tone led him to believe they were cursing. He could smell something acrid, clearly a potion gone wrong. The sight revealed as Severus opened the door nearly made him dissolve into laughter. He managed not to, but it was a close thing. Hermione was bent over a smoking cauldron, her hair frizzed out in a manner he'd never before seen, and she looked utterly distraught at the mess in her cauldron.
"Miss Granger, what on earth are you working on?" he asked, still resisting the urge to chuckle. His cheeks were actually beginning to ache with the effort.
"I'm still trying to figure out the Draught of Living Death." She sat down on her stool and vanished the disaster in her cauldron. "No one who tried brewing it from the text book has been able to pull it off, and I thought that your challenge to try and feel my way through was a hint, but that's the worst attempt yet."
Severus was surprised. Unlike Slughorn, he'd never felt that forcing students to tackle one of the most difficult of all the Newt level potions in their first class was terribly fair. He merely set it as a challenge for the entirety of the sixth year. Even with those open parameters, he'd only ever had two students claim the prize in his years as Hogwarts Potions Master. Most students gave up by mid-November, and he shuddered to think how many times she'd attempted brewing it and how much she'd spent on ingredients. "Would you care for an advanced brewing lesson?" He heard himself offer. "It will remove the prize from the equation, but I feel you will value the knowledge of the process more than a vial of Liquid Luck." He said.
Hermione's eyebrows rose. "I would like that, very much." She said.
Severus removed his outer robes and placed them over the back of his chair and brought a piece of chalk over, handing it to Hermione. "Write out the instructions as you remember them," he said and cleaned the work space again. Utilizing his own stores this time, he laid out all the necessary ingredients with a familiar layout. It had been a while since he'd actually brewed this particular potion himself, and it would be good to have some on his stores. He turned back as she finished writing everything out.
"I think that's everything." She said, reading them over again.
"Yes, a perfect copy from Advanced Potion-Making. It is also the most dumbed-down version of this potion in existence, made that way to avoid explosive accidents in the classroom. Unfortunately it also prevents anyone from being terribly successful," Severus said and motioned for her to join him.
Hermione went over to the desk and suppressed a shiver as he stood somewhat closer than was appropriate. His sleeves were rolled up over his forearms, and she felt a little flushed. She'd never seen him display so much skin. The Dark Mark was there on full display, and she couldn't resist sneaking the smallest of peeks at it. Lips brushed against her ear as he whispered the steps to her, his hands occasionally covering hers as she prepared the ingredients. The instructions were forgotten as she listened solely to his directives, adding a bit more of one ingredient and a little less of others. They crushed the beans rather than slicing them. When it came time to stir she closed her eyes at his urging.
"Feel the viscosity, and focus on the moment it changes. Wait for that moment when the potion stops resisting, when it surrenders. That is when you reverse the stirring for two more strokes." He guided her hand, seeing the subtle frown on her face as she felt the potion suddenly change, and then she immediately reversed her stirring. "Perfect." He released her hand as she withdrew her stirring rod from the cauldron.
Hermione opened her eyes to see the perfect, inky black potion in her cauldron. "That was…"
Severus smiled and moved back, albeit reluctantly. "That is how you brew once you move past the books and instructions. It's all by feel, guided by your instinctive knowledge of the ingredients and their interactions with each other. Admittedly, you get more accidents that way, but your potions will always be superior for it." He said. "Bottle that, you never know when it may come in handy."
She smiled and went to get some clean flasks. She bottled it under his careful eye, and sealed them with black wax. A quick unbreakable charm was cast over the vials before she flicked her eyes to his, seeking approval.
"You may store those in my office, if you wish to," Severus said.
"I'd like that," she said. After cleaning her work space, and gathering the bottles up, Hermione followed him to his office. He opened a small wooden chest on his desk, and helped her store them inside. As the last bottle was tucked away, she turned and touched his arm. "Thank you, Severus."
He smiled very slightly. "I'm glad you enjoyed the lesson." The soft warmth of her hand against his skin was maddening.
"Are you still able to join me in London?" she asked, not really wanting to move back from him. There was something almost magnetic about him tonight.
"I am, Professor Sinestra has agreed to cover my duties over the break," he said, resisting the urge to touch her in return. He'd made a promise to himself not to push her, it had to be her decision.
"Then I'll meet you outside the station tomorrow." Hermione very reluctantly released his arm, trying to hide her disappointment that he hadn't returned her contact.
"Good night Hermione," Severus said softly.
"Good night," she answered and withdrew from the office. Butterflies were dancing around in her stomach as she headed back up to Gryffindor Tower. She slipped through the portrait hole and spotted Harry sitting by the fire, reading something. She headed over and sat down beside her friend. "Hey, what are you reading?"
"Reviewing some of the supplemental texts for Potions." He said. "Ron is completely disgusted with me, and headed off to raid the kitchens with Seamus and Dean." Harry rolled his eyes and laughed.
"I'm proud of you Harry, you've been working really hard. Thank you for taking what I said seriously that night." It meant a lot to her that he'd taken her criticism to heart and made an effort to change.
"You were right. Potions are important, and I've been an ass about it just because Snape and I don't get on," he said and leaned back on the couch. "How can you stand working with him?" There was an honest question in his eyes, as if he simply couldn't conceive how anyone could stand to spend time in Snape's company.
"He's not so bad," she said softly. "He has a lot of masks, and a lot of roles to play. It's hard to look past that, but he risks so much for us all that I think we owe him the benefit of the doubt. Every time he's called, he could be going to his death. You know that right?" The sheer danger Severus placed himself in for all of them was humbling, at least to Hermione.
"Not if he's really on the other side," Harry muttered, then cried out as Hermione punched his arm. "Hey!"
"Just stop." She gave him a hard look. "Dumbledore trusts him, and so do I. Don't ever say that again Harry, I mean it."
"I'm sorry, I just…I guess I don't see him like you do." The sheer venom in her tone had startled Harry, giving him the tiniest glimpse of just how close his friend had gotten to their Professor.
"No, you don't." Hermione sighed and leaned back. Unbidden a laugh slipped past her lips as she realized that she really hoped that Harry didn't see Severus like she did. The more she thought about it, the harder she laughed, and she was aware of Harry frowning at her. "I'm sorry…I just…" She kept laughing, and tried to wipe the tears out of her eyes.
"Are you alright?" Harry was completely confused.
"Yeah, I'm sorry…" She took a deep, steadying breath. "I just had a funny image in my head, I'll be fine. I was in the potions lab, must have been the fumes." Hermione managed to get her composure back. "Are you staying at the school over the break?"
"Yeah, I need to get caught up on some stuff." Harry gestured to the mounds of parchment and books surrounding him, he felt a little like Hermione to be honest.
"I'm going to spend some time with my parents, at least while I can," she said. It still felt weird to lie to Harry, but she knew it was for the best.
"Yeah. Just be careful, with the Azkaban breakout…" he trailed off.
"I'll be careful." She squeezed his hand. "Goodnight Harry, I'll see you in the morning before we head down to the carriages."
"Night," he said, squeezing her hand back. His best friend was changing, not in big dramatic ways, but in little shifts. Something about her lessons with Snape was helping her to find the confidence she'd always pretended to have. She'd stopped cleaving tightly to her books, and was spending time focusing on making her spells her own. He'd even caught her working on something unique, and for his rule-loving best friend that was an amazing leap. It was hard to put his finger on all the changes, but he had a feeling they'd help her face the coming war.
