The Exorcists
Sorry pals for the late update. I was having a (real time) holiday. Heh.
Hi. Konosuba crossover.
Idk.
Italics = Thoughts/Emphasis
Bold = Loud person speaking/Loudness/Emphasis
Underline = Mainly Emphasis
'Why are buildings called buildings when they are already built?'
"What business do you have in my territory?" Rias politely asked.
"We have no reason to tell you, Devil."
"Xenoviaa~"
Currently, Rias and her peerage and two exorcists identified and Xenovia Quarta and Irina Shidou were in the Old school building.
"This is their territory, we should at least tell them what we are doing right?"
Xenoiva sighed.
"Fine... Our main objective is to retrieve and get back the three Excalibur fragments which have been stolen by Fallen Angels."
"Stolen!?"
"Yes... Although there are rumours that instead of the Fallen Angels, two human adventurers were the actual culprits."
"Rumours are rumours Irina, don't believe in everything other people say."
After a pause, Rias asked;
"...I see. What would you like us to do?"
"The problem at hand is between us and the Fallen Angels. We do not need Devils in this town to interfere."
"Very well."
"...There's one thing..." Irina cleared her throat, "There's actually o~ne thing we want your help with."
Irina takes out a picture from her pocket.
"Our secondary objective is this- We want your help to find Lady Lalatina Ford Dustiness. Her father requests her presence immediately."
"That name sounds... familiar...! She couldn't be?" Rias gasped.
"Yes... We want your help to find the Pope's daughter," Irina answered.
...
That face...
Koneko thought.
I've seen that face before. How did I not realise... I
She gazed at the picture of a smiling blonde.
...
"Achoo!" Darkness sneezed.
"Hm? Do you have a cold Darkness? Perverts don't get colds you know?"
"Your verbal harassment is sharp as always Kazuma."
"Heh."
"KAZUMA! TRAINING!"
Kazuma groaned.
Kazuma had a lot of troubles learning water magic, one of those troubles was his teacher.
"I regret this decision already."
"Oh, then learn explosion mag-"
And so, Kazuma resumed training water magic with Aqua.
.
..
...
...
..
.
Kazuma was by no means good at water magic.
In fact, he was downright awful.
"Put more magic into it!"
"I'M TRYING GOD DAMN IT!"
But all Kazuma could manage was a weak splurt of water coming out of hand.
"AHAHAHA That's pathetic!"
"NNNNnnnGGGH!"
"This sucks, Aqua sucks, I suck." Kazuma mumbled, "Is there any other way I can learn god damn water magic!?"
Suddenly a familiar magic circle appeared in Kazuma's room.
"Wha-"
In front of him was Sirzechs Lucifer himself.
"Hi, I'm here to give you guys your money again. Here's 10 Billion Yen."
Kazuma smiled from ear to ear.
"That's right! Sirzechs-sama, please teach me water magic!"
"?"
.
..
...
...
..
.
As of now, Kazuma was in the grand Sitri courtyard with Sirzechs and one other Devil.
"Serafall, this is Kazuma, Kazuma, this is Serafall. Kazuma, she is going to be your new teacher for water magic."
"..."
"Who is this human boy Sirzechs-chan? Hehe, he looks cute!"
Kazuma shuddered.
"S-S-Sirzechs-sama? Who is this? Why is she in a Magical girl outfit?"
Ignoring Kazuma, Sirzechs answered Serafall.
"Serafall, this is one of the four 'Heroes' who saved Rias from her engagement."
Serafall's eyes shone.
"Really!? I've always wanted to meet them in person!"
Serafall grabbed Kazuma's hand and (violently) shook it.
"Um, Sirzechs-sama? Is it okay to tell her?"
"Oh don't worry about Serafall. She won't tell anyone. Besides, she's one of the Four great Satans of the Devils."
"No promises!"
"Haha, don't worry. You can trust Serafall."
Kazuma wasn't listening.
"One of the... Four...Great Satans...?"
"Yes. Now, I have some other matters to deal with. Bye Bye~"
And just like that, Sirzechs was gone. Leaving a panicking Kazuma and smiling Serafall.
After reading Sirzechs' letter regarding the location of Kazuma and what he is doing, Megumin, Darkness and Aqua were left alone with nothing to do.
"To think that Kazuma ran away from my lessons really makes me angry. He better ready for a good ass whooping when he comes back."
Megumin and Darkness sighed.
"Oh yeah, by the way where's that Katana of his?"
"?"
The unnamed katana/'Chunchunmaru' was nowhere to be found.
"Concentrate. Feel the magic coursing through you, and once you have grasped that feeling. Channel that magic into your hands."
Concentrate she said.
How the hell do I 'Concentrate' when your BOOBS ARE IN MY FACE!... Not complaining though.
"Begone Devil scum!"
The unnamed katana/'Chunchunmaru' appeared out of thin air and pulled Kazuma behind itself.
"Master, are thou safe!?"
"Wha?"
Suddenly massive pillars of ice emerged from beneath the unnamed katana/'Chunchunmaru'.
"Don't interrupt my lesson!"
The ice totally encased the unnamed katana/'Chunchunmaru'.
"Phew...Now, let's go back to where we were shall we?"
Kazuma had a face like a gaping fish.
CRACK...CRACK
"Hm?"
The ice that trapped the Katana had formed many cracks and were steadily growing.
CRACK...CRACK!
The unnamed katana/'Chunchunmaru' broke free of the ice prison and launched itself at Serafall.
"Die."
Serafall dodged out of the way and created distance.
"Hmph, I haven't fought in a while. Maybe I'll go semi-serious..."
A whirlwind of freezing air circled Serafall, her hair fluttered and the temperature in the courtyard had dropped predominantly.
In turn, the unnamed katana/'Chunchunmaru' gave out a powerful, pink aura of his own.
Kazuma never knew that pink was such a menacing colour.
Kazuma shook his head and shouted.
"SSSSTTTTTAAAAAAHHHPPP!"
And as if a switch was flipped off, the two incredible auras were gone.
"Master?"
"Kazuma-chan?"
Kazuma grasped his hair with both his hands.
"Just stop..."
.
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...
..
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"Ohhh~ I see. So this thing was the Katana that Sirzechs always kept." Serafall remarked, "Don't worry, I won't hurt Kazuma-chan."
"Why should I listen to thou words, Devil?"
"Ugh just shut up."
"Affirmative, Master."
Serafall laughed out loud.
"Just-Just go back to the mansion."
"But master-"
"Do you want me to call you Chunchunmaru?"
The unnamed katana/'Chunchunmaru' paused.
"...If you need me, wish for my presence and I will appear. Goodbye, Master."
The unnamed katana/'Chunchunmaru' disappeared in pink particles.
"..."
"...So, you want to resume our lesson?"
"...yeah."
Magic exhaustion hit Kazuma like a brick to the face.
"I'm home."
"Sona-tan~!"
"?!"
Serafall jump hugged her little sister.
"You're back~~!"
"Nee-san!"
The usually straight-faced Sona Sitri struggled in her Sister's tight grasp.
"I love you sooooo much!"
"N-Nee-san, why are you here!?"
"Hm? Oh! I'm taking care of this human boy called Ka... oops! I nearly said his name~"
"You're taking care of a boy?"
"Yup! He fainted from Magic exhaustion while I was training him and I'm taking care of him until he wakes up."
"You're training someone? A human too? Just who is he?"
"Heehee! That's a seeecret! But what I can tell you is that he is one of the four masked 'Heroes' who saved your friend Rias!"
"What."
"Wait here, I'm going to go check on his condition. I'll be right back!"
.
..
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...
..
.
Black feathers. Blood. A cruel smile.
A memory that Kazuma couldn't let go of.
it was all coming back to him. The hole in his stomach, the blood that stained the ground.
It was all oh so vivid. The emotion of fear, the feeling of despair, and the sensation of pain.
it was getting more difficult to breathe. His vision was fading away.
I'm dying. I'm dying, someone, anyone... hel...p...m...
Pitch black darkness.
...
"Ah Aaaaaahhh!"
"Whoa calm down there buddy."
Kazuma woke up to an extreme close up face of Serafall Leviathan.
"Wha!?"
Supirised, Kazuma jolted up and accidentally headbutted Serafall on the forehead..
This knocked Kazuma out cold.
Recovering from the headbutt, Serafall once again checked on her student.
"He's unconscious, again...Oops."
Serafall ruffled Kazuma's hair before exiting the room.
...
"He's still sleeping so don't worry about him~? Sona? Sona-tan? Where are you?"
...
Sona took a deep breathe and twisted the door knob.
"This is it, Sorry for intruding!"
She opened the door and saw...
An empty bed.
"Oh shit where am I."
Kazuma recovered from an instant knockout in record time and wandered aimlessly inside the mansion.
However, maybe because he recovered from the knockout so quickly (or because of the amount of head injuries he has sustained), Kazuma gained temporary Amnesia.
"Who...am I?"
"Sona-tan, Sona-tan!"
In the distance, the Amnesiac Kazuma heard the voice calling out 'Sona-tan' multiple times.
"Am I Sona?... No..." Amnesiac Kazuma decided that he should stay away from the creepy voice and try find a way out.
After Random decisions of going left and right, amnesiac Kazuma stumbled upon a room that said 'Sona' on the door.
"This is... this is the name that the voice shouted out earlier. Is this my key to get out of here?"
Kazuma gently pushed opened the door and peeked; Course clear.
He fully opened the door and analysed the room. From what Kazuma observed, the room was very clean and it supposedly was the room of 'Sona'.
"There must be a clue here..."
What kind of clue? Kazuma didn't know.
He opened all the drawers and closets until he found two items that captured his interest. One was a piece of hard paper that had wrote 'Emergency escape transport' on it and the other was a box with an old label that said 'Pa###es'. For some reason, Kazuma felt a deep connection between him and the box. But the piece of paper intrigued him more.
"Emergency escape transport? What could that mean..."
Kazuma flipped the piece of paper and two things occurred straight after.
First, he saw a blue magic circle shine as bright as stars on the piece of paper.
Second, he was in an unfamiliar (yet familiar) place yet again- It seems that Kazuma has teleported.
The paper was gone now, nowhere to be seen. Kazuma clutched the box to his chest and wondered what the fuck had just happened.
Was that magic!? Wut. Magic exists!? W-Where am I now?
In big bold letters, Kazuma noticed the sign which indicated where he was.
'Student Council'
The student council room... which means this is a school... What school?
Hesistantly, Kazuma exited the room. He realised the sky was orange and that it was already evening. He wandered around the school campus until he spotted a figure in the distance.
That girl, she's wearing uniform...? Wait, that means she probably goes to this school... maybe I should at least ask her where I am right now.
Kazuma approaches the girl hurriedly.
"Hey uh miss. Do you perhaps know where I- We are?"
Kazuma asked in the most polite and friendly way.
In response, the girl turned pale, opened her mouth and screamed.
"KYYYAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
"What the!"
After 2 seconds of solid screeching, the girl ran in the opposite direction of Kazuma.
"...Am I scary?"
Kazuma became more confused and clutched the box in his hands even tighter. Like a magic charm, the box calmed him down.
"Maybe I should stay away from people..."
Koneko ran full speed toward the scent.
Kazuma decided to wander around more while keeping his distance from students who were hanging around after school.
He looked at his reflection on a window, Amnesic Kazuma didn't think he was scary. His looks were not the best but definitely not the worst. Maybe it was the clothes he was wearing?
Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap.
Amnesic Kazuma heard footsteps as it increased in volume.
Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap.
The footsteps were getting louder and louder. It was going towards him!
And there, a white-haired petite girl wearing the same uniform the girl who screamed wore, stood there with shock on her face.
Kazuma instinctively covered his face, he didn't want people turning pale and screaming after all.
"You, this smell. Why are you here?"
Kazuma peeked through the haps between his arms.
"Y-You're not scared of me?"
"Scared?"
Koneko took a step forward.
Kazuma took a step back.
Koneko took another step forward.
Kazuma fucking ran.
Like a game of cat and mouse. Koneko chased Kazuma down.
"Why are you chasing me!?"
"Why are you running?"
Before Amnesic Kazuma knew it, Koneko was right beside him, running.
Koneko grabbed Kazuma by the collar and stopped his movement.
"Gah! L-Let me go!"
"No."
Kazuma struggled in Koneko's iron grip.
"How is a small girl like you so strong!"
"Small?"
The iron grip turned into a titanium grip.
"Ow ow ow! Please let me go! I don't know who you are but please let me go!"
"Don't know?"
"Huh? I don't even know who I am! How would I know you!?"
"You. You are not joking?..."
It as just then, they both heard a figure approaching.
"This scent, Issei-Senpai!"
"Essay Oppai?"
Koneko dumped (slam dunked) Kazuma into a nearby trash can and completely concealed him.
"Stay silent."
No reply.
"Koneko-chan! Why would you run off like that!?" It was a voice very familiar to Kazuma, he wanted to see the owner of the voice.
"...Forgot something..."
"You forgot something? Oh, well. Let's go. Saji and the others are waiting- we need to convince Kiba!"
Kazuma tried to peek out the trash can. Keyword 'tried'.
Koneko thrusted her palm into Kazuma's head and pushed him further down the trash can.
"Uh what are you doing?"
"I'm throwing away rubbish."
"Uhhh."
"Please go on ahead Issei-Senpai. I'll catch up soon after."
"Are you su-"
"Yes."
"... Okay. Be quick!"
Issei ran off.
After a couple of seconds, Koneko picked Kazuma out for the trash can.
Amnesic Kazuma leans against the trash can and utters;
"What. Was. That.. For..."
"Sorry."
An awkward silence...
...
...
"Do you know me?"
To Amnesic Kazuma's sudden question, Koneko tilted her head.
"I mean, if you treat me like this you must know me right?"
"...Yes."
"Great. Um, who am I?"
"...You are..."
He waited anxiously for his identity revelation.
"Kazuma. Kazuma Satou."
And like a tidal wave, all the memories crashed into his head.
"Huh? Where is he?"
"Oh no! Where did my cute Kazuma-chan go?!"
"Kazuma?"
"Ooops. You heard nothing!"
"Kazuma..."
"Noooo! Don't tell anyone or Sirzechs is going to get mad at me!"
"That name...No, it's just a coincidence.."
"Noooo! Stop thinking about him! If you forget about it now I'll hug and love you forever!"
Sona went to her room.
"Don't ignore me!"
-Less than one minute later-
"N-Nee-san! Did you enter my room!"
"Hm? What's wrong?"
Serafall walked all the way to Sona Sitri's room.
"What's the matter Sona-tan?"
When Serafall entered the room, she knew exactly what the matter was.
All of the drawers in Sona's room were opened and the room itself was in a mess.
"It must've been that Kazuma guy you were training earlier."
"Kazuma-chan did this?...I don't think he would've done it without reason..."
"No it has to be him..."
...
...
After a solid two minutes of searching for any missing items Sona came to a halt.
"What's wrong? Do you know what's missing?"
"Y-Yes."
The usually straight-faced Sona Sitri was now blushing fiercely while trembling as she adjusted her glasses.
"T-There are two things that were taken. The first thing he took was the Emergency escape transport magic ticket...and...and the s-second thing he took was...was..."
Sona was as red as a tomato as she adjusted her glasses for a second time.
Koneko was worried for Kazuma who was clutching his head in pain as he writhed on the floor. He held the cardboard box he brought with him tightly into his chest. The box is now almost completely crushed.
"You...Okay?"
"Ah...yeah...!? Koneko why are you here!? Wait, this place. This is Kuoh Academy!?"
"Kazuma?"
"Why am I here? Why are you here? What's happening?"
"...Those are all questions I want to ask you...What do you remember last?"
"I was training with... I was training and I suddenly blacked out. I can't remember anything from there... Did, did you kidnap me?"
"No."
"Oh."
"...What is that you are holding?
Koneko pointed at the crushed cardboard box in Kazuma's hands.
"Hm? This? I don't know either..."
Kazuma slowly opened the box that had the label that wrote 'Pa###es'.
"Was...Was...my whole box of..."
Sona adjusted her glasses for a third time.
Kazuma opened the box revealing a whole variety of...
"Panties!"
It was a truly great spectacle to see, at least for Kazuma.
Koneko gave a cold glare towards Kazuma.
It was all rather confusing why he had a whole box of panties but he wasn't complaining.
Koneko gave a(nother) cold glare towards Kazuma.
Author's Notebook:
Hey. Kazuma took Sona's panties. A whole box of 'em. Hurrhurr.
The next few chapters are going to be slightly more interrrresting. The plot moves onward?!
Kazuma has had enough, how will he get home?
