"What a nice little village!" Nami exclaimed as the squad selected to go ashore crested a hill overlooking the picturesque hamlet.

Having gained a justified paranoia at docking twice and finding trouble both times, it was decided a few would go ashore to check for trouble. These few were Cassidy, Zoro, Cress and the Captain himself. It was... suggested, that Nami should stay with the ship but it turned out the girl had a stubborn streak a mile wide. Her being a civilian they couldn't order her to do anything and both Captain and XO were uninterested in putting their foot down on the matter. She wanted to put herself at risk? She was a big girl and could make her own decisions.

"Big ol' house up on that hill," Cassidy, noted, nodding in the direction of a fenced off and stately manor house. "Maybe folks livin' there's in charge?"

"It would stand to reason," Cress agreed. "Shall we start our investigation there, Captain?"

Before Luffy could answer the civilian tag-along spoke up again. "Oh, come on! It's such a peaceful little town! What horrible things could be happening here that you need to be so twitchy?"

"Cannibals," Zoro suggested.

"Werewolves," Luffy said.

"Cannibal werewolves," they said together.

"Stop being ridiculous! There's no such thing as werewolves!"

The three Grand Line regulars looked at the ginger girl with pitying looks for her narrow world-view, completely blind to the ridiculous things that the world had to offer. For better or worse.

"House first. Then the village. We get this done maybe I can find a place that serves steak! Let's go!"

-(-)-

"Captain Usopp, why are we hiding in the bushes?" Ninjin asked as the Usopp Pirates watched the small group of marines head further in-land.

"Because! It's, ah, it's pirate tradition to hide from the marines! We live our lives outside the law so we don't want to get their attention!" the brave Captain Usopp told his crew. It wasn't even a lie this time.

"Ah, I see! Yosh! We will be the sneaky USOPP PIRmppmmpmh!" Tamanegi tried to say before the older boy's hand covered his mouth.

Usopp's heart dropped into his stomach when one of the two women in the group, the one with the scary rifle, turned and stared at the bush they were hiding in. To his relief, she just smiled lightly and winked, tipping her wide brimmed hat in their direction before turning back around.

Usopp just about felt his soul leave via his mouth such was his relief, the boy dropping backwards out of his bush.

"Should we follow them, Captain?" Piiman asked.

"Why would we do that? Pirates avoid marines, Piiman," Usopp sighed out, his near-death experience (by his estimation) leaving him with a relaxed tension as the adrenaline of the moment left him.

"Well, they're going to Miss Kaya's."

"They are?!"

"That's what they said. Were you not listening, Captain?"

"Ah, I was too busy... Assessing their strength! Yeah! Sizing them up for if I need to take them down!"

"That's our Captain!"

-(-)-

"Fancy!" Nami breathed as the group approached the manor.

Cress, despite having seen grander structures, nodded agreeably. "It is quite opulent compared to the rest of the island."

"So should we... Knock on the gate or...?" Nami trailed off as she witnessed once again the bizarre things this particular crew of marines were made of.

The Captain stretched his arms and grabbed the top of the fence, slingshotting himself over. The sniper grabbed the fence and quickly scaled it by hand, rolling herself over the top. The blue-haired one whose job she wasn't sure of put on the most disconcerting display, dislocating his joints as he slipped his way through the bars. And the new recruit Zoro, the most normal of them, took a running jump and leapt over the fence, clearing it with a couple of feet to spare.

"... Okay then..." the ginger girl muttered, cracking her knuckles, stretching out her muscles and imitating the sniper by clambering over the fence, dropping down the other side and getting a pat on the back from the older redhead in congratulations. Nami turned her nose up in pride but allowed a tiny smirk of pride to appear on her face.

Without ceremony, Luffy approached the front door of the manor and knocked.

Inside, a certain butler's mind was in overdrive trying to determine how his plan could have been figured out and how it happened at the worst possible time. Marines appearing that day of all days! Something must have gone wrong. Some factor he hadn't accounted for. His mind returned to a news article he had read days ago about the now disgraced Captain Morgan. Was that it? Was there some tell-tale sign of Jango's work that was noticed on Morgan's arrest?!

… No. No, he mustn't jump to conclusions. He forced his mind to slow down and stop his fear from controlling him. He didn't know he had been found out. He would gather all the facts and re-work his plans from there. "Merry!" he called.

"Klahadore?" Merry the other butler asked, confused. "There's someone at the door. Is something the matter?"

"It appears the marines have come calling for some reason. I believe it might be better for you to speak with them. I fear I can come off as quite abrasive at times and I wouldn't want any words spoken in haste to cause trouble for Miss Kaya," he admitted, acting contrite as he pushed up his glasses with the palm of his hand.

Merry smiled understandingly. "You are far too hard on yourself, Klahadore. Still, if you think it best. I've prepared some soup for Miss Kaya, if you could bring it to her?"

"Of course," Klahadore nodded firmly and moved towards the kitchen. Gathering the meal, he made his way to the rear staircase to avoid the eyes of the marines. He would listen. He would learn. And he would plan.

Merry answered the door, opening it fully but standing in the doorway. "Yes?"

"Hi!" Luffy said cheerily. "Name's Captain Luffy! My crew just docked at this island and we were hoping for some shore leave. Been a busy few weeks. But we wanted to make sure there's nothing dangerous or strange going on that we should help out with? We haven't been able to dock anywhere recently without something crazy happening!" he finished with a smile.

"Ah, I see! Not much in Syrup Village that's worthy of any kind of hubbub. As for shore leave, well, I can't say Syrup is the best place for taking a break from hard sailing. We're a very quiet little place but if it's a quiet place to relax you're after, we can accommodate!" Merry said, equally cheerful and pleasant, before a thought struck him. "Oh, I should mention, there is a young man who is a bit of a... Well, he's something of a local nuisance. Every morning he runs about the village shouting about pirates coming. The villagers barely tolerate him but I wouldn't want marines to hear it and start preparing for war, you see."

"Puru puru puru puru!" a voice rose from inside Cress' jacket, the marine muttering an "excuse me" before turning and wandering a small distance away.

"That's a weird thing to do," Luffy frowned. "We'll keep it in mind but if there's a warning about pirates we have to take it seriously."

The butler sighed. "Very well. If we see him we'll try to warn him off of doing it while your crew is staying on the island."

"Thanks a bunch! What's his name?"

"Usopp. Tan, curly black hair, a ah prominent nose."

"Cool. Oh, and sorry, what was your name?"

"My name is Merry and this house belongs to Mistress Kaya. Though may I ask you not to call on us again? The young Miss is quite sick, you see. Too much excitement could worsen her condition."

"Well that's terrible!" Luffy exclaimed in sympathy. "We'll try not to bother you too much, I promise!"

"Thank you. Good day to you," the sheep-haired butler said in dismissal as he closed the door on them.

In the near silence that followed, Luffy cocked his head and turned to face the others. "He seemed nice."

"Sleepy town. Sounds boring," Zoro said.

"The time we had in what's s'posed tah be the weakest sea? Ah could go for some peace an' quiet," Cassidy countered.

Cress' quiet muttering in the background ended sharply with a deep "gacha" sound.

"What was that about, Ensign?" Luffy asked.

"Call from a Lieutenant Fullbody, sir. Said he has an offer for us to help catch another big fish of the East Blue."

"Fullbody... Think I've heard that name before. Did he say it was urgent?"

"No, sir. Said we've got a couple of days to give him an answer."

"Good. We'll go over the details later. For now, let's go fetch the crew and find a place to relax, maybe get some good food!"

"Aye aye, sir!" was the chorused response, even from Nami.

As he watched the marines go from his new, totally not conspicuous at all bush, Usopp frowned. Merry shouldn't talk like that about him behind his back, he thought. But at the same time, they weren't wrong shouting about pirates when marines are in town might be a bad idea.

Oh well. Story time!

-(-)-

"You're the son of a filthy pirate!"

-(-)-

The three boys stared at the swinging circle hanging from the strange man's hand.

"One. Two. JANGO!"

-(-)-

Usopp sat sulking on the cliffs overlooking the beach. He had lost his temper. Heard the words Klahadore spoke about his father. Lashed out in anger. And he had hurt someone precious to him because of it. He hadn't meant to! Just the things Klahadore said... Usopp was proud to be the son of a pirate! His father was a brave warrior of the sea! Who was Klahadore to call such a man "scum"?

But ever since it had happened, the anger hadn't mattered. His wounded pride hadn't mattered. All that did was the hurt and anger on Kaya's face. Because of him.

"Jango you cannot be here. The situation has changed," spoke a familiar voice down on the beach.

"What?" Usopp muttered, looking down and spying a punchable face he recognised. Klahadore, speaking with a particularly strange stranger.

"Ow! You told me to come back today so I came back today! I know better than to disobey your orders, Captain!" the stranger, apparently named Jango replied, making strange snappy movements as he spoke.

"Captain?" Usopp echoed, confused.

"And in doing so you fell asleep in a town currently occupied by marines."

"Hee! That's a shock! And super bad timing! So what do we do about Plan "Assassinate the Mistress"?"

"Not assassinate, Jango," Klahadore growled, pushing up his glasses.

"Right, right, "accident", yeah."

"The marines will not be staying long. Two days at most from what I heard. We will put the plan on hold for three days. Keep the ship on the south side of the island to stay out of sight when they leave. Then the plan goes ahead as normal. I've invested too much into this, faking my death, working in this degrading position for three years to let it all fall apart now."

"Ow! A wrinkle in a plan comes up and you're already there with a fix! That's just like you, Captain Kuro!"

Kuro? As in Kuro of a Hundred Plans? Usopp was astonished that such a man was living right up the road from him this whole...

They were going to kill Kaya!

Kuro looked to the side and raised his eyebrows in feigned innocence. "That's not my name anymore, Jango. I am simply the humble butler, Klahadore."

"Of course, of course! I'll head back to the ship then. We'll be ready in three days, Mister Klahadore."

"Of course you will."

Usopp fell on his back, partially out of fear, hiding himself in case the two apparently dangerous pirates looked his way. Partially out of surprise and horror that such a horrible thing might happen. But it didn't matter now! He had found out! But how to stop it? He had to tell the town! They needed to know that-

The pirates were coming.

They would never believe him.

"If there's a warning about pirates we have to take it seriously."

Usopp checked over the edge of the cliff, all around him. The pirate Jango was gone. Klaha-... Kuro was gone.

A pirate reporting pirates to the marines. It was ridiculous. It was a fresh raw wound in his pride but... It was Kaya!

He headed inland.

-(-)-

"Captain Luffy!" Usopp shouted as he slammed open the restaurant door. Inside was a table filled with marines of varying rank insignia, the Captain himself mowing through a plate of steaks. Multiple steaks.

"Usopp! If you broke that door you're fixing it yourself!" the chef admonished him.

"Ah! Sho your ushopp!" the Captain said through a mouthful of food. "Don't yell about piratesh becaushe if it turnsh out you're lying," he swallowed, "we might have to arrest you."

"I know!" Usopp said, voice still raised, "I heard what you said when you talked to Merry! If someone reports pirate activity, you have to look into it, right?"

"Calm down, kid," said an older dark-skinned man with precisely cut facial hair. "Yes, we have to look into it, if it's credible."

"Have you ever heard of a pirate named Jango?"

"Nope," Luffy said, taking another bite. "But we're not local. Bruno? You got the poster book?"

Bruno shook his head. "Cress." The small blue-haired marine pulled a slim book from a bag and started flipping through it. Seemingly finding the right page, he looked at his Captain, nodded and handed it over.

"Hmmm." Luffy studied the picture and decided this guy looked weird. Even by his standards. "What's this Jango guy look like?"

"Uhh, he had heart-shaped sunglasses, a weird stripy thing on his chin, a big blue hat with a wide brim, and a long blue coat with circles on the..." he fumbled for the right words so mimed a line down his middle "the edges."

The chef scoffed. "Come on, Usopp, even for you that's ridic-"

"Yeah, that's Jango alright."

The chef's jaw dropped as he looked from Usopp to the Captain seemingly confirming his story and thought he might be going mad.

Whether that last "he" was the Captain or the chef himself, even he wasn't sure.

"Okay. Usopp. Tell us what you know."

-(-)-

A/N: And there we go. Plot line run through in about as sensible a way as I can manage. Plotted out what everyone would do given the new situation. Usopp would not go to the beach to greet marines, so they go in unmolested. Usopp watches them but isn't keen to bother them... Until they decide to go see Kaya to get the lay of the land. Kuro will not in a million years show his face to the marines so gets Merry to do it instead while he listens in. Merry warns them about Usopp for reasons given in-chapter. Kuro hears the length of time the marines will be staying (by the way, yes, foreshadowing for what comes after this and also under different circumstances) and so puts his plan off until he knows they'll be gone. Jango goes back to the ship. Usopp overheard everything but since Luffy wasn't there to tip the pirates off, they have no idea they've been rumbled. And Usopp with a better option to take than screaming his head off like usual, takes it, to much better results.

Yup. That's about how it would go. So it did. Feel free to pick it apart though.

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