I DO NOT OWN the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy. All rights belong to the incredible E.L James.
A/N: So many chapters, so little time! I'm trying to update with Chapters as fast as I can because thee are more than enough to go around. I hope you guys are enjoying this story!
Chapter 9.
Anastasia Steele
Being carried by Christian, I didn't waste any time attacking his lips with mine. Our kiss was hot with need, rushed but still incredible. He placed me down on the bed first before placing his body to hover over mine, our lips still attached. My hands stayed in his hair, tugging gently and making him groan. His hands pushed my legs apart roughly before he plated himself between them.
I had never really enjoyed sex, the first few times leaving me feeling strange after the quick finish Josè had provided. Josè was my first and last before Christian. We had only been dating for a couple of months before we got really drunk one night and randomly decided to have sex. I freaked out so badly at such intimate touching and everything that went on that night that I didn't even attempt to have sex again with Josè until months later. We tried a couple more times before splitting up after the first try but I never felt with Josè what I felt with Christian.
Even the kissing was different. With Josè it was forced and sloppy but with Christian, it was easy and enjoyable. I wondered if I could attribute that to the fact that Christian already seemed so knowledgeable in that field.
"God, you're so good at this," I groaned.
It was impossible to keep my thoughts in my head as Christian lifted up my shirt and kissed and sucked his way up my belly. Christian laughed into my skin when he heard what I said and came up to kiss my lips.
"I have a six year advantage on you, Ana," he nipped at my lips as his hand traveled just where I wanted his hand to be. "That's a pretty large learning gap."
"Shut up already!" I huffed, flipping us over so I straddled him.
Christian did as he was told while I rubbed my jean clad apex against his already very aroused member covered by his jeans. For a moment I wondered if we would I pushed back a loose strand of hair behind my ear while I bent down to kiss him, my long hair creating a veil over us. Christian's hands reverted to my hips, pushing and pulling me up and down against him. I almost screamed as he began to push me against him faster making my climax become closer and closer.
"Ana," he moaned out loudly.
"Don't stop," I panted, arching my back as I sat up. "Please, don't stop."
"You're so fucking beautiful." Christian attempted to sit up and kiss me but I shoved him down as hard as I could.
"Stay down, or I swear…" I let my sentence drop, grinding harder against Christian.
I was right there, needing just a little bit-
"Room service!" a voice came from the front living area.
The elevator that came up led straight into the room and I had given them permission to come up, unknowing of what would happen between Christian and I.
"Are you fucking serious?" I hissed, livid.
I had stopped moving on top of Christian, feeling one hundred percent turned off knowing someone was only a few feet away and able to hear us.
"Ms. Steele," Christian panted beneath me. "I don't think I've ever heard you drop the f-bomb before."
I rolled my eyes, crawling off of him agitated.
"Just-" I sighed, waving him off. "-go…away."
Christian laughed it off and hopped off the bed, adjusting himself as he went out to tip the waiter and chat. They spoke about something related to sports which only made my aggravation grow. He couldn't just tip the guy and get his ass back in here?
I stood up from the bed and straightened myself out. I pulled my hair into a long ponytail, kicked off my shoes and let out a heavy breath as I walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I walked past Christian and the rather built but young looking waiter who carried in a large silver tray with two covered platters and a variety of drinks on it. He set it on the dining room table a few feet away from the kitchen and laughed at some joke Christian said before leaving with what looked like a hefty tip.
As soon as the elevator doors closed, I flicked on the Bose radio I had spotted in the kitchen earlier. I was no good speaking with Christian while irritated the way I was so I did the only thing I knew to get the horrible aggravation out of my system; dancing.
The song that played was an upbeat pop song that I had heard a few times before on the radio but I didn't care. Instantly, I flung myself into the song, spinning around the spacious kitchen with as much precision as I would put into any professional dance. I kept my toes, even though bare, pointed to perfection.
Two more pointe spins and I planted myself, bending back with my arms over head until I reached an almost perfect arch. The song continued, allowing me to throw in a few leaps and some spins. I didn't stop until the song did, leaving me gasping for air, my hands on my hips. I grunted to myself in satisfaction, feeling the endorphins take over and make my mood feel instantly lighter.
When I finally looked up, Christian stood on the opposite side of the breakfast bar than I was. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly ajar as he stared directly at me.
"What?" I panted. "Never seen a girl randomly burst into a fit of dancing?"
He said nothing, making me chuckle as I turned off the radio and walked over to where the food had been placed.
"Didn't think so," I said under my breath.
"You just…" he murmured in shock as I lifted the sliver half globe off my platter.
"I needed to blow off some steam." I took a sip from the glass of water on the tray.
"That was…beautiful," he laughed softly, turning to beam at me.
"That?" I pointed towards the kitchen. "I was just fooling around."
"You were still wonderful," he complimented breathlessly.
"Thank you," I smiled, taking a bite of the salad.
Almost instantly I felt the hunger pains start, making me realize how ravenous I was. Christian must have realized me shoveling down mouthful after mouthful of salad into my mouth because he looked horrified when I came up for air, taking a large gulp of water.
"Ana," he came to my side. "When's the last time you ate?"
I flinched, slowly placing a croton in between my lips. I swallowed hard and tried to remember if I had even eaten at all the day before. I had started early the day before, waking up at five to get to rehearsal with Jack at six. I didn't leave the studio until ten, where I then darted to Julliard so I could spend three more hours rehearsing with Josè on our final project. Then I rushed to pick up my dress at the dry cleaners for the ball, spending the remaining part of the day getting ready. I showed up to the ball with Jack around nine and had only sipped on champagne there before heading off with Christian where I drank a mohito.
It wasn't like I had forgotten to eat or anything, or didn't want to. I just didn't have time.
"Two days ago?" I whispered.
Christian practically turned purple with rage, forcing me to sit as he shoved the salad I had order for me and the burger I had called for him in front of me.
"Christian," I shook my head. "I ordered the burger for you."
"You haven't eaten in a day and a half and all your stocking up on right now is lettuce. You'll need some protein," he said in a clipped tone.
"The salad has chicken in it," I protested weakly.
"Ana," he warned, picking up his phone to dial in a number then pressing the Blackberry to his ear.
"Whatever," I sighed, shoveling down the last of the salad.
I was still starving and grabbed for the burger, taking a large bite of it.
"Oh my god!" I groaned through a mouthful of burger.
Christian stared at me, curiosity clear on his face.
"This is better than sex," I pointed to the burger before tearing off another good chunk of it.
Christian gave me a look, smirking smugly.
"Okay, maybe not sex," I admitted. "But definitely better than ice cream."
Christian barked a couple of orders I paid no attention to over his phone then came to sit beside me at the dining room table. He flopped down into the plush, wood seat with a heavy sigh. His eyes stared at me, cold and slightly angry, though softening as he witnessed me wolf down another good piece of burger.
"Please tell me you aren't on some insane ballerina diet." Christian rubbed his forehead, obviously irritated.
I shook my head, still chewing.
"I don't do that kind of stuff," I said, placing my burger down for a moment.
"You're going to finish that," Christian snapped.
"You really don't have to worry about that," I chuckled, picking it up for yet another bite.
It was a big burger.
Christian smiled, finally, and laughed gently.
"I thought all ballerina's starved themselves or did crazy diets." Christian sounded horrified.
I shrugged. "I guess it all depends on the girl. I know a lot that do but I've never believed in that sort of stuff. I dance at least ten to twelve hours a day. Even if I sat down and ate ten of these burgers, I'd still be burning off more then I take in just by sitting down. I eat healthy and reasonably. When I get out of rehearsal, I don't eat a tub of ice cream or a whole tub of pasta." I snorted.
Christian nodded, still keeping his narrowed eyes on me.
"Why didn't you eat anything yesterday?" he asked calmly.
"It was a hectic day," I explained casually. "I still had two rehearsals to go to on top of getting ready for the investor's ball that evening."
He didn't seem happy with my reply but accepted it.
"No wonder you gave in so easily last night," Christian said more to himself then to me. "You had more than just one drink and absolutely no food in you."
"I wasn't nearly that drunk, Christian." I popped a fry into my mouth.
Even if it was just a potato, it was still fucking fantastic.
"Anastasia," Christian breathed, looking down at me with a strained expression. "I'm going to ask you a question. Can I trust you'll answer it honestly?"
I nodded and stopped eating for the moment.
"Yes."
He took in a deep breath, closing his eyes before letting it out and staring back at me.
"Last night," he paused. "Was I…too rough with you? Did I frighten or hurt you in any way?"
I threw my head back, unable to stop the laughing that bubbled out of me. When I noticed Christian wasn't laughing, I stopped and focused my gaze on his.
"Christian," I frowned. "Do you honestly believe I didn't enjoy last night? That I didn't want it?"
He pursed his lips, looking away quickly as his hands balled up into fists where they rested on the table before me.
I shook my head frantically, reaching out to touch my hand to his.
"Christian," I pleaded with him. "Everything we did last night was…incredible."
His eyes snapped back to me, still looking wary.
"If you think I didn't enjoy myself last night," I scoffed. "You are sadly, mistaken."
He took in a sharp breath through his nose, unclenching his fist and wrapping his hand around mine.
"I'm not that little girl you used to have to take care of and protect anymore, Christian. I'm a grown up now, just like you." I reached out to touch his cheek. Eagerly he leaned into my palm, kissing it as he listened and placing his hand over mine. "If I didn't like something you did last night I would have told you so. I loved last night…please don't spoil it."
"So," he breathed, his voice low. "You didn't mind my being rough with you."
"That was rough?" I laughed gently.
Yes, Christian had spanked me but it wasn't like he had hit me so hard I felt excruciating pain. At just five years old, I was beaten on a daily basis for two years straight with a leather belt and a metal buckle attached to it. Did he really think a few slaps on the ass would bother me?
Christian's eyes went wide, swallowing loudly.
"Just don't go all weird on me. I draw the line at paddles and whips," I teased, shooting him a wink.
He didn't laugh or smile, simply staring at me with those grey eyes and an expression I couldn't make out.
"Okay," he smiled tensely after a beat and cleared his throat awkwardly.
Gingerly, he pulled his hand from mine to stand and pace. He seemed so tense.
"Taylor should be up with a few things. I ordered you some more food as well," he whispered, keeping his eyes away from mine.
I sucked my teeth, my eyes narrowed towards him as I stood up and planted myself in front of him. I reached up, jerking his chin and pulling it down until his face was at my level. He was forced to look at me, giving me the opportunity to scan his eyes. He looked worried. Scared, even.
"You're not telling me something," I stated sternly.
He pulled his chin away from me roughly, turning his back to me as he palmed his face. Something he seemed to do only when he was concerned about something.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he replied coldly.
"Christian, what is going on that I don't know about? Is this about last night? Did I do something wrong?" I pleaded, completely confounded by his reaction to something.
"No," he spun around on his heels to stare at me with sorrowful eyes. "Ana, it's not you. You did nothing wrong."
He strode over in a flash, wrapping me in his warm embrace. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my face into the crook of his neck .
"Then what is it, Christian? Please tell me. We used to tell each other everything," I whispered the last sentence, feeling heartbroken that he couldn't trust me enough, the way I trusted him, to tell me what was bothering him.
He put me down softly, bringing his hand to twine into mine. I smiled halfheartedly down at our interlocked hands and lifted it up between us.
"Best friends, remember?" I asked under my breath, hearing my voice break.
"Oh, Ana," he sighed heavily.
Gently, he ran his free hand across my cheek.
"You can tell me anything, Christian," I promised. "You're not going to scare me off."
Once more, he pursed his lips, refraining from any eye contact with me.
"Ana, I-"
"Mr. Grey?" a deep, familiar sounding voice came from behind me.
Both Christian and I turned to see a tall, very muscular man about Christian's age, if not older, standing near the kitchen. He held in his hand a large paper bag with a receipt stapled to the front of it and a plastic bag form what looked like a convenience store of some sorts.
Our intertwined hands dropped between us as Christian cleared his throat and nodded towards the breakfast counter.
"Thank you, Taylor." he looked down at me. "Ana, I'll be right back. I need to speak with Taylor about something important. I'll be right back."
I nodded solemnly, making him frown gently before we disjoined our hands and he walked out into the hallway that cut off the elevator from the room with the man he called Taylor right on his heels.
I let out a loud, frustrated sigh before plopping back down onto the chair I had been seated at before I stood up.
Christian wasn't telling me something, that much was for sure. I could always tell when we were younger when he was feeling anxious or bother by something and it was still just as apparent on him today. I leaned my head back against the head rest of the chair and racked my brain for something, anything that could give me a hint. There was nothing.
If it wasn't me or last night, like Christian had assured me it wasn't, then what could it possibly be? I shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose. I cared for Christian more than anyone when I was little and still did to this day. Him not telling me what was bothering him stung a little. I told him everything and he couldn't tell me one thing?
Maybe he can't, my subconscious reasoned. Maybe it's about his family or work. Something he really can't tell you or isn't ready to tell you yet.
I bit my bottom lip, finally letting my mind work. Christian would tell me if he was ready but right now he wasn't. He wasn't trying to keep something from me to hurt me, he just couldn't tell me yet.
"Thank you again, Taylor." I heard Christian bid goodbye to the Taylor guy. "See you this afternoon."
"Yes, sir," Taylor agreed and left with a ding of the elevator following.
I heard Christian's footsteps behind me, only ceasing when he came to stand in front of me. At first I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath, but eventually looked up at Christian with wary eyes. His expression was troubled, his lips turned down into a slight frown and eyes sorrow filled. As best I could, I gave him a half hearted smile. He shot one back, only to frown again. My own smile fell even as he slowly sank down to crouch in front of me, both of his hands wrapping around mine. He placed a couple of soft kisses on my palm then pressed it to his cheek. I didn't mind and leaned my head back while still keeping my eyes on him.
"Ana, I just-"
"You don't have to tell me," I stopped him, shaking my head against the headrest of the chair.
"W-what?" he stared at me wide eyed.
"I know you'd tell me if you were ready to, Christian," I said quietly. "You wouldn't keep something from me to hurt me just like I wouldn't do that to you. I know you trust me as much as I trust you so why should I push you into telling me something your obviously not ready to tell me yet?"
Christian let out a sigh of his own, placing another kiss on my palm.
"Thank you," he whispered.
I nodded, still unable to smile fully yet. No matter how I thought of it, Christian's inability to tell me what was going on still stung but I know he'd tell me when he was ready.
Christian leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on my lips. I kissed back as best I could but wasn't willing to force myself to do anything I couldn't at the moment.
"Christian," I pulled away, placing my forehead to his.
He nodded,.
"I understand." he palmed my cheek. "Maybe just a nap?"
"A nap?" I chuckled softly. "I haven't had one of those in years."
"Me either." he smiled.
I leaned forward, wrapping myself around his crouched figure and nuzzling my face into his neck.
"Okay," I breathed.
I felt Christian's half smile as he lifted me into his arms, carrying me as if I were porcelain. In the bedroom, he laid me down before striding across the room to draw the thick, gold curtains over the large window overlooking all of Manhattan. The room instantly became dark, almost as if night had already come when it was only half past noon. My eyes adjusted to the sudden darkness just as Christian kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the bed, facing me. His hand slid into mine, our fingers linking together.
"Do you remember that summer we met when Ray tried to make you take naps during the day after reading online about how it helped with the sleep deprivation and nightmares?" Christian smiled at the memory.
I smiled as well, remembering exactly what he was talking about.
"Yeah. I wouldn't do it, though. The nightmares were so bad back then," I whispered the last part.
"So were mine,." he nodded. "Do you remember that one time when you came over to swim at my parent's house and you got so tired after we got out that you fell asleep in my bed and then I came up to sleep with you?"
"I remember waking up and you being there beside me."
"I didn't have the nightmares that time," he squeezed my hand. "I didn't have them last night, either."
My eyes widened as I thought back to that day so many years ago. I almost gasped when I realized I hadn't had the nightmares that day or last night. Christian nodded, reaffirming my thoughts.
"I told you," he sighed, elated. "You've always been meant to be with me."
I giggled, scooting closer to him so that our faces were so close, you couldn't tell whose breath was who's.
"I don't want you to leave," I whimpered.
His smiled fell from his face as he stared down at me.
"I Googled you after the first time I saw you in a magazine," I chuckled brokenheartedly, pressing my open lips to the skin of his hand that linked with mine. "I know you live in Seattle and your company is based there. I'm sure you had to make a ton of calls just to spend the day with me. You were supposed to leave today weren't you?"
"Yes," he confirmed. "It wasn't that many calls. I just had to push a few meeting to tomorrow night."
I nodded, pulling our locked hands to my chest so that his hand remained imprisoned between the both of mine.
"You can't leave Seattle because your entire life is there and I can't leave New York because my life is here." I felt the hot tears begin to boil over. "Why can't we ever stay together?"
"Oh, Ana," he sighed, pulling me against him. "Please, don't cry. I can come and see you as often as I-"
"Don't," I cut him off, my voice breaking. "Don't make promises you won't be able to keep. You're worth all that money for a reason, Christian. You work your ass off everyday and you love every minute of it. You're a busy man…I understand that. So don't say you'll come as often as you can because it'll hurt too much when you keep canceling or tell me you can't come after all."
"You can come and visit me in Seattle. Visit with my family, maybe? My mother would love to see you again and Mia would absolutely die the moment she laid eyes on you." he sounded hopeful.
"I can't afford that, Christian."
"I could-"
"No."
"Ana," he pleaded.
"I'm not going to let you pay for me to come and visit you every weekend. That's way too much and I hardly get days off. Just like it was for you, today was a rarity for me. My days are packed with rehearsal after rehearsal if I'm not on stage performing. It doesn't end, even after the season is over and I graduate."
"I don't want to go," he whispered. "I don't want to go anywhere again without you now that I just got you back."
I reached up to run my fingers through his hair.
"And I don't want to be without you now that I have you back, as well."
"Tell me what to do, Ana," Christian begged. "Tell me what I can do and I'll do it."
"There's nothing we can do, Christian. We're both grownups with our own lives. Our own careers. We can't just stop because we want to be with each other all the time. We aren't in a relationship or committed to each other. It's not like we have an obligation to be with each other all the time."
"Just because it isn't my obligation to see you doesn't mean I don't want to," Christian said sharply.
"I don't know what to say, Christian," I groaned. "To make this any less painful."
"It's going to be painful no matter what we do. When you left it was excruciating but now that I leave, it hurts even worse."
"I don't regret it, though," I said.
Christian looked at me, confused.
"I don't regret coming with you last night or having making love to you. I don't regret any of it."
Christian pulled my head forward, kissing me with a deep, unbreakable passion I couldn't help but relay back. I could taste my tears and possibly even a few of his as we kissed, quietly sobbing together as we lay there. We fell asleep in each other's arms soon after that, dreaming of nothing and not waking for anything.
Oh no! Christian has to leave soon...what will Ana do? Tell me what you think!
Reviews are very welcomed.
-fighter
