Chapter 9

Buffy sat with Drew in the hospital and listened to the doctors drone on about his condition. It wasn't improving. Of course it wasn't improving. Her husband was dying. There was no miracle cure to save him. Nothing magical either.

"Hey, no sad thoughts." Drew said, taking her hand and squeezing. He'd interrupted the doctor.

"Nope." Buffy said, smiling slightly. "No sad thoughts here."

Cal walked into the room with a Big Gulp of grape soda from 7Eleven. "Here man, I had to walk twelve blocks for this."

"Thanks. I'll walk sixteen for an Orange one for you." Drew said.

"You're not supposed to have that, Mr. Turner. You know that." The doctor said.

"Yeah, well, I'm dying. Who cares if it rots my teeth out now, huh?" He looked around at the slightly stunned faces of his wife and best friend. "Sorry. Inappropriate humor."

Buffy nodded. "It's ok." She looked at the doctor. "When can we go home?"

The doctor smiled. "I'll arrange for a nurse to come out at night to help."

"Ok, good. When can we leave?"

"It really depends on when the nurse…."

"I'm perfectly capable of taking care of my husband, doctor. The nurse can come whenever she wants. When can we leave?"

The doctor sighed. "Tomorrow morning at the earliest. I'll start getting the paperwork together." She walked out of the room.


Buffy was surrounded by her best friends at Justin Timberlake's BBQ restaurant, Southern Hospitality, Sunday night. Edie had made reservations for her and all her friends there to debut her new look. Buffy's hair was shorter, to just below her shoulders, with a lot of layers in it and it had small, dark brown lowlights all through it that made her blonde look even blonder. She had a light tan that gave her skin a nice glow. Her makeup was done to absolute perfection and her clothes were the best designer clothes.

"I love it." Angel said. "It suits you."

"Really?" Buffy asked, playing with her hair.

"It looks amazing." Dawn said.

"Apparently the lowlights look even better on camera."

"So, you'll be mingling with the stars?" Sandra asked. She was Xander's girlfriend of five months and they seemed pretty serious.

"Apparently."

"Get Angelina's number for me." Xander said. Sandra smacked his stomach. "What?"

"You don't need Angelina's number."

"Then can I at least get her autograph?"

"If I can get Brad Pitt's." Sandra and Xander looked at Buffy.

"I'll do what I can." Buffy said.

"When's your first party?" Willow asked.

"Oh, uh…. Thursday night."

"Are you nervous?" Xander asked.

"A little. I mean, I'm ready I think, but…. It's kind of a big deal. What if I mess it up?"

"You'll be fine." Angel said. "You Summers women can do anything."

"Hey, how is work going?" Buffy asked Dawn, moving the attention away from her.

"Oh, it's…. It's good." Dawn said.

"Is something wrong?" Willow asked.

"No. It's just that…. This is Buffy's night. I don't want to spoil it."

"It's fine." Buffy said.

"So…. Really?" Buffy nodded. "Ok, well…. My bosses told me that once I graduate, they're planning to send me to their Paris offices to work full time!"

Buffy's eyes snapped to her little sister. "What?!"

"Dawn!" Willow squealed. "That's awesome news!"

"Isn't it exciting!? They told me on Wednesday!"

"Wednesday? That was two days ago!" Buffy said.

"Oh, I'm sorry Buff." Dawn hugged her sister. "I've just been really busy since graduation is coming up so soon and I really need to get everything together."

"Where will you stay?" Willow asked.

"Oh, I don't know. We're going to talk more about it next week. I need to brush up on my French!"

"Well, I won't be too far away."

"What?" Xander asked.

"Well, I didn't want to bring it up until I knew for sure, but I'm moving to Spain."

"Spain!?" Buffy cried.

"I've been offered the position as high priestess in a very powerful and very prestigious coven in Monaco. I…. I leave in three weeks."

"Three weeks?"

"Willow!" Dawn squealed, hugging her tightly.

Xander smiled and looked at Sandra. "Well, since this is revelation time, maybe it'd be a good addition to tell you that Sandra and I are expecting."

"You're gonna be a daddy!?" Willow cried.

"We found out yesterday." Sandra said as Xander beamed.

"You two have only been dating five months." Buffy said.

"I know, but I love her." Xander said.

"And I love him!" Sandra said.

"Xander!" Dawn jumped up and hugged him tightly.

"Congratulations!" Willow cried, hugging Xander and Sandra tightly.

"We wanted to keep it on the down low until we'd told our families." Sandra said.

Buffy smiled and murmured her congratulations, hugging Xander and then Sandra slightly. She half listened as Willow and Dawn talked excitedly about everything. The focus completely shifted from Buffy to everyone else. Buffy found herself feeling pissed off at her friends and excused herself from dinner early saying she had an early morning and needed her beauty sleep. Angel tried to come with her, but she waved him away and told him to finish his dinner.


"Hey Buffy, it's Xander. Listen, I need a woman's opinion since Willow's kinda busy. Would you go ring shopping with me? I'm going to propose to Sandra. Call me back."


"Buffy, are you there? Probably not. You're probably out rubbing elbows with the rich and famous again. So, graduation is coming up in a few weeks and I need a dress. Want to come shopping with me and Willow? She's got to get a few things for Spain and we thought we'd make a weekend of it. Call me back, sis!"


"Hey Buff, did you get Dawn's message? She hasn't heard from you since your dinner. Actually, none of us have. I know you're busy with work and all, but take the time to call us back. Please? Ok, well I'm leaving for Spain in a week and I'd like you to be there to see me off. Ok? Please call someone back."


"Buffy, this is Angel. I haven't heard from you in a while. Willow called and she said that you haven't called anybody in two and a half weeks. I stopped by yesterday, but you weren't there. Call me back, please. Bye."


"So, Willow's leaving tomorrow and I'm graduating in two weeks. Where the hell are you, Buffy?"


"Buff, I know you're busy with work and this is kinda short notice, but Sandra and I are getting married on NewYears Eve and we want you to be a bridesmaid. That's three months away. Will you please call me back before then?"


"Hey Buffy, my plane laid over in London on the way to Spain and I got to see Giles. He's doing good. Wanted me to tell you hi. I told him I'd leave you a message since you're not talking to anyone. I missed you at the airport. I gave Dawn my number in Spain. Please call me. I'd love to talk. Bye."


"This message is for one Buffy Summers. Please tell her that her friend Xander Harris called, remember him? Well, he's really going to go through with the wedding this time and he needs her here with him to help him out. She's done this before and he needs some advice. You know, someone to hold him back if he gets cold feet? It's been six weeks. Please call him back."


"Why weren't you at the graduate's family dinner? I told you three months ago when it was. I don't know what your problem is Buffy, but it's really starting to piss your friends and me off. You better be at graduation. I'll never forgive you if you miss that."


Buffy sat in her living room and braided and unbraided a chunk of her hair. She hadn't talked to any of her friends in almost two months. She didn't want to. She was angry with them. So, she had buried herself in her ever growing career and used that as an excuse to stay away. Edie was ecstatic with the work she was getting from her new party consultant that she was asking Buffy to go to more parties. She was getting the chance to make friends with people she'd admired in Hollywood for most of her life. It was all completely amazing.

But there was still this big gaping hole in the fabric of her life.

She really missed Drew. Despite her best efforts to move on and despite everything she had said to Cal, she felt like only half a person without Drew. It also made her a little angry that she had allowed herself to go against her own words and fall so hard for another man. She should've known. She should've stuck with the facts that, no matter what, the men in her life always leave her. Someway, somehow, they always leave.

There was a knock on her door and then the doorbell rang. She sighed and went to peer through the peephole. She was hoping it was another package from Drew, but it was too late for deliveries. It was Angel on the other side of the door. She considered not opening the door, but deep down, she wasn't mad at him. He wasn't moving on with his life and leaving her in the dust. He was actually staying with her and grieving with her.

Angel smiled as she opened the door and looked around the hallway. "Don't worry, I'm alone." He stepped into her apartment. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Buffy said, walking back to the living room and resuming her place on the couch.

He touched the bent and wild looking braid in her hair. "Ok."

"What?"

Angel sat down on the coffee table in front of her. "Dawn's graduating tomorrow."

"I know."

"Are you planning on going?"

"I'll have to check my schedule."

"Buffy…."

"I'm a busy woman, Angel."

"This is your sister's graduation from college. Doesn't happen every day."

"I didn't plan on getting this promotion. I had to rearrange my life. Why can't people understand that?"

Angel sighed. "Talk to me."

"We are talking."

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Buffy, you haven't talked to anyone in two months. You didn't go see Willow off at the airport. You skipped Dawn's graduate's dinner…."

"I was working."

"That's no excuse. Your friends' news bugged you, didn't it?"

"No. It didn't. I'm happy for them." Angel gave her a look. "I am. Really. I've just been busy" Angel's look grew harder and she couldn't take the intensity in his eyes. "I don't get…." She sighed. "I don't get how they can just…." Buffy stood up and walked away to stare into the empty fireplace.

Angel nodded. "I know what you're going to say."

"I don't get how they can just continue with their lives while I'm still stuck in this rut of misery!" She closed her eyes and fought off the tears.

Angel stood up and went over to her. He moved her hair away from her face and waited until she opened her eyes and looked at him. "They weren't married to Drew. They don't understand how much it hurts."

Buffy shook her head and cried harder. "Drew's gone! He's gone and he's never coming back no matter what I do. God…. When dad left and then you left and then Parker and then Riley…. I said…. I said never again. No more men. And then I meet Drew. This wonderful man happens to me and I wasn't alone anymore. I knew what it was not to feel like I was in the room until he looked at me or touched my hand or even made a stupid joke at my expense…. Just to let everyone know…. I was with him. I was his. And then…. And then…. And then he died! What was the point? God, I'm so angry I could kill somebody! I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I'm always alone in the end! No matter what, I'm always alone."

Angel shook his head. "You're not alone, Buffy. You're not alone." He brought her to him in a tight hug. "You have me. You will always have me." Buffy clung to Angel, crying into his shirt as he pulled her to the couch and allowed her to curl up in his lap. "From here on out, I'm not going anywhere. I promise you this. I am not going anywhere ever again. And your friends aren't going anywhere. They are still your friends and they still love you. I know you're angry with them. I do. They're moving on with their lives, but that's how it goes. If they could stop the world until you were ready for it to go on, they would. I know I would if I could. But that's just not how it works. The world goes on and we have to go on with it. It's the hardest lesson to learn and to actually follow through with, but somehow we all manage to in the end. And you've got the best friends anyone could ask for to help you manage."

Angel held her until her tears subsided and then he held herlonger until she started to fall asleep in his arms. He picked her up and carried her up to her bedroom. When he started to leave, she wouldn't let go of his arm so he was forced to climb into bed with her. After a long while, he fell asleep too.


Buffy woke up feeling refreshed. Her alarm was going off next to the bed, but when she went to turn it off, she found that she couldn't move. Angel's arm was holding her tightly to his chest. He stirred and Buffy started to wriggle out of his grasp, but he tightened it and pulled her back. She sighed as she felt his heartbeat against her back. It was a wonderful feeling.

"You were planning on going." Angel said.

Buffy groaned. "You're supposed to be asleep."

"The alarm going off three hours before Dawn's supposed to graduate woke me up. So, you were planning on going?"

"Of course I was."

"You're a stubborn thing, you know that?"

"Yes. My mom told me that all the time and Giles told me at least twice a day for about three years."

Angel allowed Buffy to turn in his arms before he said, "Are you ok?"

Buffy sighed. "I feel a little better. Like a small weight's been lifted off my heart."

"You just needed a good mental breakdown."

"Yeah."

"So, it's been two months. Have you gotten anything from Drew?"

Buffy's eyes grew sad. "No."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean…."

"No, it's ok. The letters were keeping him alive for me and I need to let him go. Last night's breakdown helped me accept that just a little bit more."

Angel smiled. "Come on. Get dressed. I'm going to go home and get ready and I'll come back for you."

Buffy nodded. "Ok. Good idea."