EPOV
As the warmth from our… heated exchange began to escape my body, the winter air settled back in and I began to tremble.
Damons' arms wrapped tightly around my waist. "You're cold," he whispered into my neck. I simply nodded. "Let's get you back," he responded and moved away from my shoulder to lightly kiss my cheek.
His words chilled me more than the air. Even after everything I had just been through with Damon – from willingly having sex with him to him confessing his love for me – I still did not want to go back to that house. I still wanted to get into my car and drive away. The only thing that had changed was that I didn't want to forget the Salvatore brothers, yet I still didn't think I could afford to have them in my life right now. This encounter with Damon was kind of like my last hoorah.
Damon felt my body stiffen and he stopped his movement to look me in the eye. "What's wrong?" he asked.
I tightened my jaw and averted my eyes from his as I climbed off his lap. Taking a step away from him, I reached down for my white button-down shirt – the only piece of clothing of mine that wasn't torn. In the back of my mind I thought about how if I didn't get either more clothes or to a warm place, I was going to freeze to death.
"Elena," Damon started slowly, breaking me from my distracted reverie. I turned to look at him. "What's wrong?" he repeated.
I sighed while slipping the shirt on and starting at the bottom with the buttons. "I don't want to go back, Damon," I finally answered grudgingly.
He was silent as he stooped to grab his pants and boxers. "Here," was all he said as he held out the boxers for me.
My cheeks burned a little as I took them. "Thank you," I replied quietly and put them on. They weren't warm by any means, but at least they covered me. I walked over to the fallen tree and sat on it, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I watched him as he shrugged up his jeans, carefully avoiding my gaze. The atmosphere was starting to get tense and slightly awkward as I waited for him to respond to my statement.
When he was finally dressed with his shirt and pants back on, he turned to me. "Why not?" he asked bluntly.
I bit on my lower lip and looked down at the ground. In a flash, I was staring at his legs as he was suddenly standing in front of me. A cold finger touched my chin and gently tilted my head up. His intense gaze made my heartbeat quicken and I didn't know if I was scared of how he might react or if I was scared of hurting him.
"This just isn't right for me," I answered softly.
"I'm not right for you?" he asked coldly.
I tried to lower my head but his hand kept me in place. "No," I started quietly, "that's not what I meant."
He knelt down so that his head was on the same level as mine and he placed both of his hands on my cheeks. "Elena, you understand that I love you, right?" I nodded. Of course I understood at this point. He had expressed it in so many ways. Suddenly, the usual iciness of his blue eyes was contradicted by a brilliant fire burning behind them. "Do you love me?"
My lips parted slightly as my jaw went slack. Did I love him? I was completely frozen in place. Love him? The idea of loving someone I had literally met a few days before was absurd. Love, in my world, didn't happen instantly. Love took time. Love took work, and that meant a lot more work than simply having great sex – even if it did happen twice. Now that I was thinking about it, how did he know he really loved me? Couldn't it just be some other form of infatuation? A common crush misrepresented? I couldn't stop myself from asking the question aloud. "How do you know you love me, Damon?"
A flutter erupted somewhere in my chest as a small smile played at his lips. "Elena," he began with confidence. "When you've been around for as long as I have, you become unnaturally attuned to your emotions. There's just no need in questioning it."
His answer, unfortunately, wasn't satisfying enough for me. I was still skeptical anyone could fall in love in such a short amount of time. I looked away from his eyes. I knew that somewhere inside of me, I did feel something for Damon, even if I wouldn't describe it as love, but it wasn't enough to make me stay. Images of my parents flickered in my mind. I owed it to them to protect myself and to stay alive. Allowing myself to stay around Stefan and Damon was just putting myself in the line of fire. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "But I can't."
SPOV
Once again, I found myself pacing across the living room floor. If I kept at it, I'm sure a path would form.
I had been in the study when I received an interesting phone call from Damon.
I flipped open the cell phone. "Hello?"
"Let's buy a lock for your bedroom window, shall we?"
I felt my eyes grow wide and I used my inhuman speed to run upstairs. Before I even unlocked the door, I could hear the steady flapping of the window curtains as a breeze ruffled them. When the door opened, my stomach knotted at the absence of Elena. I placed the phone against my ear again. "Where is she?"
I heard Elena's profanities before the front door could even be opened.
"Put me down, Damon! I swear to all that is fucking holy! You cannot force me to stay here! Do you understand this is kidnapping! Damn it, Damon!"
I sighed and rubbed my eyelids with my thumb and index finger. I looked up when Damon walked into the living room. An uncomfortable wave washed over me as I saw her slung over his shoulder wearing nothing but her usual work shirt and… his boxers? I'm sure most people would call the feeling jealousy. I wanted to rush to her side, take her from Damon, and protect her, but she had made it blatantly clear she and I were no longer together.
Damon grabbed her hips and placed her on the ground. In other situations, her expression would have been comical. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her lips were pressed into a tight, pouty line. Her face was bright red and it was obvious she was beyond pissed. It was all almost childlike, but I knew laughing would be the worst possible thing to do in that moment.
I refocused on her clothing…or lack thereof. The black boxers that hung loosely around her petite frame were definitely Damon's. Her work shirt was long enough that it almost covered the boxers and it was completely buttoned. The slightly see-through fabric revealed that she wasn't wearing a bra and it was obviously cold outside.
I looked away quickly when my thoughts drifted to her naked chest. It was inappropriate for me to look at Elena that way while she was unaware and unwilling.
"What happened?" I finally asked, turning my attention to Damon.
He shrugged. "She tried to run away."
His answer was unsurprising. I knew Elena wouldn't just accept being locked in my bedroom, but I figured I would know when she tried to leave. Obviously that was not the case. My mind kept drifting to the clothes she was wearing. How did she end up in them? Surely Elena would not have tried running away naked; it was far too cold for that. I turned to look at her. "Elena, we're only trying to keep you safe." She scoffed and rolled her eyes. The response hurt me a little. "You don't think we are?"
She dropped her hands and rested them on her hips. "This is where we all come to an impasse. You two think I'm safer here with you. I think I'm safer away from you."
"How does that make sense?" Damon asked in a patronizing tone.
"How does it not?" she snapped, glaring over at him. "Before I met you and Stefan, nothing bad came my way besides the accidental death of my parents. It stands to reason that if I go back to that life, all the bad stuff will go away."
I immediately looked over to Damon and he met my gaze. I saw the same sadness that I felt wash over his expressions. She didn't understand. Her life would never go back to the way it was with Katherine out there. Katherine wouldn't stop until whatever she was planning was followed through with.
"Elena," I started slowly, taking a step toward her. "You don't understand." I began to repeat my thoughts. "Katherine won't go away. It doesn't matter if you stay here or go. She's going to keep going until whatever she has planned is accomplished. Now, I understand if after this is over with you want to leave and you want to forget about us, but until then we're the only ones that can physically protect you." She folded her arms over her chest again and I watched the muscles in her jaw flex as she clenched her teeth together. "That's why you have to stay here, Elena. As much as you think you can handle things on your own, I'm not willing to take that risk. I promise that I will keep you safe. Even if that means fighting you the whole way."
I watched as the tops of Elena's cheeks began to lighten into a deeper shade of red and her eyes glistened over. I wanted to kill myself for making her cry. Before any tears could fall over her lashes, she turned and ran up the stairs. The slamming of my bedroom door echoed throughout the house. I wished Elena had broken down in front of me; given me a change to consol her, but she was too proud to cry in front of people, if she allowed herself to cry at all. I turned back to Damon. "What now?"
DPOV
I continued to stare up the stairs after Elena when Stefan started to speak to me. I wanted to go upstairs and calm her; make her feel better. I knew better than that, though. It would be more likely that she'd spit in my face before she let me help her.
"We wait," I responded dryly, turning back to him with a sigh. I was annoyed with Stefan. His whole "I will protect you" speech had brought back the long lost twang of jealousy in my repertoire of newly acquired emotions. I was so used to shutting everything off. It had been a long time since I had felt any sort of love, compassion…emotion in general for another person. Now that it was all back, each emotion was amplified and I felt them to my very core. They were no longer fleeting; they were becoming embedded in me.
"For…?" he prodded.
"Katherine, Stefan," I nearly snapped. I had assumed the answer was obvious. "We wait for Katherine." I walked over to my favorite straight back, grandfather chair and sat. Stefan did the same in the sofa across the room.
It was silent for several minutes before Stefan spoke again. "Why was she in your boxers, Damon?"
Ah, I knew the question would come sooner or later. I knew that once he saw her in them, it would gnaw at his thoughts until he had to ask. It was almost like I was letting him know that I was claiming what was mine. Of course the thought of claiming her was absolutely barbaric, Elena was no one to be claimed, but between him and me, it got the point across. "Because she was cold, Stefan," I responded.
"Where were her clothes?" I could see I had lit a fuse.
"Well, Stefan, you can't really have sex with clothes on, now can you?"
Instantly, Stefan lunged from his seat and charged at me. I had been expecting such a response and was prepared. Quite easily, I grabbed his shoulders and slung him around me. He hit the wall shoulder first and then fell into a crouch, his vampire traits protruding clearly, a snarl lingering at his lips. "You compelled her again," he accused.
"No, no, no," I answered, crossing my arms over my chest. "You put vervain in her system." I lifted an eyebrow and waited for him to digest that information. She had been with me willingly.
He narrowed his eyes. "Why are you doing this, Damon?"
Let's add fuel to that fire. "Because I love her." Again, Stefan darted toward me. My arm shot out in front of me and I grasped Stefan around his throat. I rammed him up against the nearest wall and held him there, glaring up at him. "Stefan, it would be best for you to remember who's the strongest here; who's still drinking human blood." I decided to spare him the fact that at that exact moment, it was Elena's blood running through my veins.
"You do not love Elena," he managed to choke out.
I tilted my head. "You have no idea what I feel."
"You don't feel," he sneered. "You're incapable of loving another person."
I rolled my eyes and released him, walking back to my place in the chair. "It's surprising how little you know about me, Stefan. I am completely capable of love. Allowing myself to love, however, is an entirely different situation."
"Why her?" he asked from behind me.
I stopped walking and slowly turned back to him, thinking his question through. I didn't have an exact answer to why I loved Elena. I just did and I knew I did. She was beautiful and strong and courageous and witty and intelligent. Not only that, she was my complete opposite in the way that she tried her best to uphold a moral code. I found that attractive. And she was quite possibly the best sex I had ever had. Who wouldn't love Elena? "It doesn't matter why," I finally answered. "I just do."
"I will always fight for her, Damon," Stefan promised.
I nodded and continued back to my chair. "Then I welcome the war, Stefan."
Authors Note: Sorry it took so long for this update guys. You know how life gets. Sigh. Lol.
Sooo, what do you guys think of the newly compassionate, yet still haughty Damon? I like him having a little more depth than "I hate the world and everything in it."
Leave reviews telling me what you think.
For updates on how I'm doing with stories, follow me on twitter: APhobiac
Also, my blog is another good place to get updates on what's going on. I like to post teasers and sneak peeks and random bits of information there: writingtoberemembered(dot)blogspot(dot)com
Hopefully I can get chapter 10 up sooner than later.
See you guys next chapter.
Update: I just received this question from a reader and I definitely should have explained this better because it really wasn't clear.
The question: Damon tells Stefan that vervain was in Elena's system and that's why he couldn't compel her. However, if vervain was in her system, how could he have bitten her? Was the vervain out of her system by then?
The answer: Yes, the vervain was out of her system by then and Damon knew very well that it was, hence why he bit her. However, in the heat of this argumentative moment, he knew Stefan would not believe he didn't compel her unless he had a solid reason. By telling Stefan that he literally couldn't compel her (even if he could have), Stefan would understand that Elena willingly slept with Damon. Damon wanted Stefan to understand this one fact over all others. Once Stefan became aware of Elena's willingness, he was so caught up in that fact that he didn't stop and take time to break down the technical aspect of how vervain worked and how it would have been gone by then. Either way, Damon actually did not compel Elena, and he wanted Stefan to completely believe that. Get it? Sorry that was so confusing. :)
