Author's note: A Nightmare on Elm Street and It spoilers. Specifically, the original film series for the former, the remake for the latter, though I may make references to the book. You know how these things go. Alright, let's do this.
Death Battle theme plays.
Wiz: Fear. A powerful emotion that can control you. Do you stand and fight, or run and hide from it?
Boomstick: Well, I'd probably just shoot them with my shotgun leg, but not everyone is blessed with one of those. Though if our research is anything to go by, that might not work on these guys.
Wiz: Freddy Krueger, the dream haunting serial killer from A Nightmare on Elm Street.
Boomstick: And Pennywise, the spooky clown guy from It. I always knew clowns were evil. Anyway, he's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.
Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle.
Scene cuts.
Wiz: In Springwood, Ohio, back in 1942, a nun named Amanda Krueger was working at the Hathaway House, when disaster struck.
Boomstick: DISASTER?! More like catastrophe! Poor Amanda was beaten and raped by a hundred or so inmates, just because the guards wanted to go home for Christmas.
Wiz: …yeah, it's pretty messed up. Anyway, nine months later, Amanda gave birth to a boy she named Freddy.
Boomstick: Or as some people call him, the Bastard Son of a Hundred Maniacs. Man, with a title like that, no wonder he kills people.
Wiz: He was then adopted by a man named Mr. Underwood, who verbally and physically abused Freddy…until Freddy got sick of it and slit his throat with a razor.
Boomstick: And like any good serial killer to be, he was bullied at school for being a bastard child. Seriously people, this is why America has so many school shootings. STOP BEING ASSHOLES YOU ASSHOLES!
Wiz: …okay then. Anyway, apparently Freddy tried to put all this behind him and live a normal life, even getting married and having a child. Unfortunately, his thirst for vengeance was too much for him, and he decided to start killing the children of the people he went to high school with, instead of the far more rationale 'killing the people who actually tortured you' thing.
Boomstick: Neither of those sounds very rationale…wait, is this why your ten year high school reunion was cancelled?
Wiz: …moving on. Anyway, eventually his wife figured out what he was up to, so he killed her, not realising his daughter was watching. Luckily, he was soon arrested for the murders of twenty children.
Boomstick: Before some IDIOT screwed up the paperwork, and Freddy was released. Good thing the townsfolk didn't take too kindly to that, and burned him alive, killing him.
Wiz: Except…
Boomstick: Oh, come the hell on.
Wiz: A group of Dream Demons approached him, giving Freddy the ability to kill people in their dreams, as long as there was enough fear to use as a power source.
Boomstick: And if one of his victims did manage to kill him, they would just bring him back again to keep doing what he was doing. Wait, doesn't that mean he can't be killed?
Wiz: He has been killed before, but we'll get to that in a moment. First, his powers.
Boomstick: Well, first of all, there's his iconic finger claws. Damn those things look cool, but he usually just uses them to freak his victims out before he kills them. Which seems very ineffectual for a serial killer. Wouldn't you want to keep your victims in the dark about being nearby?
Wiz: Like I said before, a lot of his power comes from fear, so it makes sense that he'd want to scare his victims as much as possible, since once he kills them, there will be one less person to fear him. That excess fear is what keeps him fuelled until he takes his next victim.
Boomstick: Oh…well, they can also stab things, so there's that.
Wiz: While this may be his primary method of killing his victims, it's by no means his only way. Inside the dream world, Freddy has the ability to manipulate everything, and can customise people's deaths to their personalities and fears.
Boomstick: Yeah, like when he became a TV and smashed a girl who wanted to be an actress through the screen. Or when he injected a former junkie with shitloads of heroin. And he's pretty damn durable in the dream world too.
Wiz: Durable is putting it pretty lightly. He's damn near invulnerable. He even once cut off two of his fingers without flinching, just to prove that nothing phases him. And they came back in the very next shot. Not to mention ripping off skin and contorting his body in weird ways.
Boomstick: So, like I asked earlier, what the hell can kill him?
Wiz: Well, it is possible to pull him out of the dream world, which limits his power greatly, though he does retain some of them. Once out of the dream world though, he is susceptible to explosions and decapitation.
Boomstick: Also, he's afraid of fire, which makes sense, since he was, you know, burned to death.
Wiz: There's also the dream demons, who can take away his power at any time if Freddy does something they don't approve of, though given that he wants what they want, this is pretty unlikely.
Boomstick: Finally, there's reflections, which make him remember what he's does to other people. Kinda weird when he can jump out of mirrors at people, but whatever.
Wiz: Still, Freddy's proven time and time again that he's one nightmare you'll want to wake up from quickly.
Freddy: Welcome to prime time, bitch.
Scene cuts.
Wiz: The town of Derry in Maine may seem like a small town where nothing out of the ordinary happens.
Boomstick: But you'd be wrong, because unbeknownst to the citizens of the town, there's a clown living in the sewers.
Wiz: Well, yes, but actually no.
Boomstick: Oh, then what's this then? Some kind of ancient evil alien from another dimension?
Wiz: …well, you see…
Boomstick: You have GOT to be kidding me.
Wiz: Born possibly billions of years ago, the creature known as It landed on Earth in the area of Derry, where It did…who knows what, until humans started settling in America, which It started terrorising and eating.
Boomstick: And how long ago was that?
Wiz: There's evidence to suggest humans have been in America for about 130,000 years…
Boomstick: That's quite the wait. I mean, I'm no numberologist, but even I know there's a huge difference between a few billion, and a hundred thousand. And if It needs to eat, what was It doing before then? Patiently waiting for people thinking 'I sure do hope those monkeys evolve into humans soon. I'm starving'?
Wiz: A lot of Pennywise's early history is very unclear, since It is an ancient being with little to no concept of time and reason. In fact, Pennywise is likely not It's real name, It just likes taking that form.
Boomstick: I'm sure the native Americans and early settlers would have been very confused by the sight of a clown in 1950's era clothes and make-up.
Wiz: It probably didn't look like that the whole time, given that one of Its powers is shapeshifting.
Boomstick: Yeah, whatever. So, how does no-one know about It, given that It keeps killing people?
Wiz: Two reasons: first, Pennywise often hibernates for twenty-five to thirty years at a time…
Boomstick: Like Beerus? Man, what is it with ancient beings being obsessed with sleeping all the time?
Wiz: …and the other reason is that Pennywise uses Its influence over people to prevent adults from looking into it too much.
Boomstick: Specifically adults?
Wiz: Well, you see, Pennywise has this thing about eating children…
Boomstick: WHAT THE HELL?!
Wiz: It's because 'frightened flesh tastes better', and children are easier to scare, so…that's the logic behind it.
Boomstick: Doesn't stop it being just plain sick.
Wiz: No it doesn't. And unfortunately, young children are much more easy to manipulate, so Pennywise has got a healthy supply of food to sustain It.
Boomstick: Okay, what kills this thing? I want to say hopefully Freddy, but I'm not sure I want either child killer to win.
Wiz: Well, as of right now, it's unknown if Pennywise has ever been killed, according to the original book. However, It often underestimates humans, believing them to be so far beneath It that It will always win. This has led to Its victims often escaping, or even critically wounding It.
Boomstick: Yeah, like when the Losers Club believed they could hurt Pennywise with silver, so it did. Yeah, that happened. They decided something would work against an eldritch abomination, and it worked.
Wiz: But perhaps Pennywise's biggest weakness is fear, or more accurately, lack thereof. If there's no-one around who fears It, Pennywise can't do anything to them.
Boomstick: But considering Pennywise can figure out what you fear and transform into it, or at least create an illusion of it, that usually does the trick.
Wiz: Pennywise is incredibly durable and sneaky, and prepared to take on anyone foolish enough to try and kill It.
Boomstick: And is definitely the reason many people will be scared of clowns for years to come.
Pennywise: I'll take him! I'll take all of you! I'll feast on your flesh as I feed on your fear... Or... you'll just leave us be... I will take him. Only him, and I will have my long rest and you will all live to grow and thrive and lead happy lives, until old age takes you back to the weeds.
Scene cuts.
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!
Scene cuts.
An abandoned factory in New York, halfway between Maine and Ohio, sits quietly in the slowly setting sun. Inside the factory, something's moving, until a man in a striped sweater and beaten up hat jumps out.
"Back in the real world, then?" asked Freddy, clicking his knife glove against a nearby metal pole. "Well, let's see who's available." Freddy focused his senses for a victim, before sensing something. "What is that?" he questioned. "It seems to be…down in the sewers. It isn't human, but somehow it seems…familiar." Freddy looked around for a moment, before finding the opening to a sewer grate, and climbing down.
Freddy crept through the dark tunnels until he found…something. It looked like a sleeping clown, but why would a clown be in the sewers? "Well, fear's fear," said Freddy, shrugging his shoulders. "Let's see who gets the last laugh." Freddy focused on the creature, and soon entered Its dreams.
Meanwhile, Pennywise was having a good dream. He'd cornered the Losers, and was slowly skinning the one known as Ben in front of his friends. "Oh, you are just delicious," said Pennywise. "I do hope I'll have room for the rest of you after this."
"Hey, funny man, leave those kids alone," said a voice behind him. Pennywise stopped what It was doing, and turned around to see a horrifically burned man with claws on his fingers.
"What the hell?" asked Pennywise, confused. "What are you doing in my dream?"
"Looking for fresh victims," said Freddy. "Looks like I found one."
FIGHT!
Freddy calmly walked towards Pennywise, slowly distorting the world around him from sewers to a boiler room. As he walked, Freddy dragged his claws across any metal surfaces he came near.
Pennywise was unmoved by this, and even started to smile. To prove how little this fazed It, Pennywise began running at Freddy, opening Its mouth wide to show the sharp teeth within it. Freddy noticed this, and decided to pick up the pace, holding his claws in front of him to show he meant business.
The two collided on the walkway, Pennywise landing on top of Freddy and preparing to bite Freddy's face off. Freddy laughed as the clown's teeth got nearer and nearer, and even continued as they sunk into his flesh and began tearing away the skin.
Pennywise spat the burned flesh out of its mouth, and it landed a few feet away, still laughing. "What the hell are you?" growled the clown.
"Your worst nightmare," said Freddy's face, as Freddy slashed the front of Pennywise's shirt and ripped open Its chest.
"Shit," said Pennywise, climbing off Freddy. "That actually hurt."
"Good," said Freddy, his face suddenly on his head again and making another charge at the clown. Pennywise responded by again running at Freddy, but this time keeping low until it tackled Freddy to the ground. Freddy began laughing again as Pennywise began kicking him in the ribs. "I knew you could make me laugh."
"Why aren't you dying?" snarled Pennywise, kicking Freddy hard enough that his foot went through Freddy's chest.
"Oh, you think you can kill me in a dream?" taunted Freddy, slashing through Pennywise's legs. "You really are a joker."
"Dream, eh?" asked Pennywise. "Let's try something then." Freddy's eyes grew wide as Pennywise wrapped Freddy in a headlock, then pinched himself.
Pennywise awoke with a start, and looked around for the man It'd just been wrestling. Suddenly, Freddy jumped out from behind It, landing on Its back and proceeding to repeatedly stab Pennywise in the head with his hand claws.
"GET OFF OF ME!" yelled Pennywise, throwing Freddy across to the other side of the tunnel.
Freddy lay there for a moment, dazed. 'What the hell?' he thought to himself. 'This guy wasn't even stunned at having my claws go through his head. This clown isn't normal. I need to figure out what his fear is quickly.' Freddy tried to focus on the clown for a moment, but couldn't get a read on what scared it.
"So, you act on people's fears?" asked Pennywise, looking across at Freddy lying in a heap. "Too bad, I happen to be fear itself. You on the other hand…" Freddy slowly raised himself to his feet, only to find a wall of fire between him and the clown.
Freddy hesitated for a moment, before turning to the spot where he'd last seen his enemy. "HA! You think fire scares me?" laughed Freddy.
"Not much," said Pennywise, suddenly beside him. "But enough." Before Freddy could act, Pennywise bit into the back of Freddy's neck, while holding Freddy's legs down. Pennywise pulled and pulled, until Freddy's lower body separated from his upper half. Freddy screamed in agony, as Pennywise licked its lips, opened its mouth wide, and ate Freddy's head. Pennywise burped upon finishing its meal, before going back to sleep.
K. O.
Boomstick: Wow, that was brutal. But is Freddy really dead?
Wiz: Maybe. Wes Craven keeps finding ways to bring him back, so it's possible. But for the purposes of this battle, we're going with the one that's most likely to not get back up and keep going any time soon.
Boomstick: Both characters basically lived on fear, specifically fear of them, so that cancelled itself out. However, there was one key thing about this that opened the whole battle up: Pennywise will still be powerful if people forget about It, but Freddy can't come back if people don't remember him.
Wiz: On top of that, Pennywise retains all Its powers outside of a dream, whereas Freddy loses most of them. The main question here was: could Pennywise be killed in a dream, where Freddy was pretty much unkillable?
Boomstick: Well, given that the Losers have stuck spikes through Its head and It kept going like it was nothing, I'd say Pennywise is pretty damn hard to kill. Hell, Stephen King's books even hint that It's still alive and killing kids, even after the Losers "killed" It TWICE!
Wiz: In the end, Pennywise's durability and overall near invincibility were too much for Freddy to handle.
Boomstick: Freddy just couldn't handle It.
Wiz: The winner is Pennywise.
Scene cuts.
Boomstick: Next time on Death Battle…
"It's Hero Time!"
"Dude, you actually want to do more stuff? My goal in life is maximum couch time."
