Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or the characters.

Chapter 9 – I Need You

Esme was especially nervous when she woke up on the next day. She had convinced herself that she would go talk to Carlisle today. She knew that he loved her, but she was afraid that maybe it would be too late. She had to do it if she wanted to keep him here though, and that was exactly what she wanted.

"Are you okay? You seem a little off today." Rosalie asked her best friend during breakfast.

"I'm going to talk to Carlisle today. I'm nervous."

"Why are you nervous? He is the one that screwed up. He should be nervous, not you."

"I know, but I think maybe it's too late"

"Came on! Have a little faith. And don't forget that whatever it is, it can be undone."

Rosalie's words helped Esme through the day, and she was surprised that it went by so quickly. Before she knew it she was getting a cab to go to the Lenox Hill Hospital, where Carlisle worked, and coincidentally, where she was admitted when she was a child. It was a good thing the hospital didn't look the same. She hated to remember the time she spent there.

She got inside the building praying that she wouldn't see anyone sick or hurt. Luckily she didn't, so she went directly to the front desk to get the information she needed on Carlisle.

"Hi. Can you tell me where I can find Dr. Cullen?" It was weird to say his name like that. She definitely didn't like it.

"He should be leaving soon, so I assume he's in his office. It's on the third floor to your left. You'll see his name on the door."

"Okay. Thank you"

"Do you have an appointment with him?"

"No, I don't. I'm just…a friend."

"Alright then."

Esme went to the elevators and pressed the number 3. Her heart was racing and she felt more nervous than ever. When she got to the third floor she saw the words "Neurology Department" on the wall. He was a neurologist then. She didn't even know that. "Whatever" she said to herself. Now wasn't the time to think about that.

She walked slowly and then finally found Carlisle's office. She stood in front of the door for a while. After a long sigh she knocked on the door.

"Come in" she heard him say, and his voice made her heart skip a beat. She didn't quite remember how his voice was so…irresistible and had such a power over her. She finally opened the door and put her head inside. He was leaning on his table writing on some paper. She also realized how simple his office was. All the walls were white and he had his Harvard diplomas and other condecorations on the wall. It totally fit him.

"Can I come in?" He immediately looked up when he heard the Esme's voice. He remembered Esme's voice perfectly. It was weird how his memory worked. He remembered every little trace of her face, probably because he would just stare at her for hours. She was so beautiful.

"Esme. Yeah, sure. Come in." He said surprised. He definitely didn't expect to see her at the hospital.

She went in and closed the door behind her. She took a few steps towards him, keeping a certain distance. She knew that she wouldn't resist him if she got too close to him.

She noticed that he looked different. He had black spots under his eyes, and he had a furrow on the middle of his forehead, as if he had been worried about something for a long time. His expression showed that he was definitely not getting enough sleep, and that he was probably working too much. Esme's heart failed on her again. Seeing him like that just totally broke her heart. She knew why he was like this: because of her. He was miserable and it was her fault.

"So…how have you beign?" She broke the silence.

"Not all that well to be quite honest. You?"

"Pretty much the same, I guess. You look like you haven't been sleeping all that much." She noted even though she still thought he looked like the most handsome man she had ever seen.

"Yeah…I've been working a lot lately." She knew why he was working so much so she decided not to comment. Her urge was to go over to him and just touch him. She wanted to him feel better.

"I didn't come here just to ask you that though." Esme said. Carlisle waited for her to say something. While he did so he kept his eyes on her. She was perfect. It was the only adjective he could think of right now. "I…I'm here because I want to forgive you. If that's what you want." Carlisle just stood there. He didn't say or do anything. He brain had just frozen for some seconds. Esme couldn't take that anymore. She was almost turning to leave when she saw him smiling.

"You have no idea how much I have thought about this. I mean, you coming to me willing to forgive me. And now that you're finally here I couldn't believe it for a while, but I know it is true and that you are here." He made a short pause. "What makes you think that I wouldn't want to be forgiven?"

"I don't know. Maybe you want to go back to Boston, maybe you've already made plans…I don't know."

"It doesn't matter how I picture my future. You are always in it. No matter where I am, what I am, you are always in my life. It was kind of weird really how you just wouldn't get out of life for these past two weeks." She giggled, even though she was in the verge of tears. What he had said was just so romantic.

He took some steps forward and closed the distance between them with a hug. She happily accepted it. It reminded her why she loved to hug him so much. It felt great, and he also smelled amazing so it was nice having him close.

"I've missed you so much." She said. He simply sighed. He felt like he didn't need to tell her that he had missed her too, it was pretty obvious.

"I need to talk to you about some stuff." She said looking at him, with her arms still around him.

"Did you hook up with somebody in these past two weeks?"

"What! No! Have you?"

"No, of course not."

"Good! That's not what I want to tell you, obviously. So, now I know that you are a doctor, but that doesn't change anything. I want you to keep been Carlisle, just Carlisle. The guy you have been all this time. No weirdness or phone calls in the middle of the night and especially no leaving for work like 3 am in the morning because of an emergency." He made a shocked face so she said: "Okay. I'll let you have that a few times." She said.

"Oh, okay. That's fine then."

"And you are my boyfriend, only. No trying to act like my doctor okay? I would hate that."

"There's nothing else I want to be than being your boyfriend. Okay, maybe your husband, but I'll save that for later." He said smiling, which made her smile too. She had never thought about marrying him really, and when he said that she just pictured them on their wedding day. She would be wearing an exclusive white gown and he would be in a black tuxedo.

"May I kiss you now?" He asked.

"Yes." She simply answered.

He slowly leaned down and kissed her. It was amazing. Just as amazing as their first kiss was. It was pretty magical. Everything else was forgotten. For a few minutes it was only the two of them, sharing their love. When reality came back into Esme's mind she realized she had to get out of there. She hated hospitals after all.

"Can we get out of here now?" She asked.

"I guess we can. I just have to look through some papers and the we can go."

"Alright."

He got he hand and walked until his table. She then went behind him and wrapped her arms around him.

"That is really not going to help me focus." He noted.

"I don't care." Esme laughed and kissed the back of his neck.

After a moment of silent Esme told her boyfriend that he should get more of a decoration, but then she remembered what she had told him, so she couldn't be his decorator either.

"But you should have a picture of me!" She said.

He reached out for his drawer and took out a picture of them. It was one of the first ones they ever took together and they were both smiling brightly. Esme loved that picture.

"That's so cute!" She told him. She loved the fact that she was already there before. Women at the hospital had to know that Carlisle had an "owner."

He suddenly stopped doing what he was doing and rose up straight.

"What's the matter baby?"

"It's just…Well, I've been asked to joining the medical board."

"And that's a good thing, right?" She asked while he was turning around to face her.

"It is but I'm still really young, you know? I feel like I'm not ready to join the board right now."

"Well, I sincerely don't know how you are as a doctor, but I do know that you are mature enough to make your own decisions, and I trust you. I believe that you will make the right decision. The one that's best for you right now."

Her words made him feel completely confident. He wasn't apprehensive anymore. She was literally his better half.

"I'm not joining it" He stated and teared up the papers. "All set. Let's go?"

"Yes!"

"So, where are we going?" He wanted to know.

"You place."

"I thought I was seeing everyone today."

"Well we can go if you don't want to spend the night with me, only." She said matter-of-factly.

"I'm not insane." He said smiling.

They got into the elevator and went away from the hospital towards Carlisle's apartment for a night full of love.