Chapter 9
"I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances." – The Mikado
The Present- The Galactica
Her thoughts in disarray and her feelings in turmoil, Athena stepped back as if to escape. She cared for both, but was afraid of what the consequences would be if she intervened further. One or the other would be hurt by her preference, would feel rejected. For the past yahren she had supported her father who had needed it with Ila gone and the terrible responsibility he had undertaken on behalf of the fleet. On the other hand, she knew that no one would even consider Baltar as anything other than the most vile man that had ever lived. And she was the only one who knew otherwise.
They both watched her waiting for her to say something. Her father struggled to contain his fury. Her husband, motionless, with despair furrowing his brow.
Feeling trapped, she took another step back towards the door.
"I can't…." she whimpered, begging for someone else to resolve her impasse. She turned away weeping.
"Athena, don't leave, please," she heard Baltar plead. "Let me explain –" A crash and dull thud interrupted his words. Athena stopped and turned back to see Baltar on the floor on his hands and knees, the white medical gown he was wearing askew, falling off one shoulder. Without thought, she dashed to him and knelt by his side. He was shaking, trying to catch his breath. She slipped her arm around his shoulders and he looked up at her with disbelief in his eyes.
"Are you…are you hurt?" she asked.
"I don't think so. I lost my balance," he answered. He grasped her free hand in one of his, as if needing physical contact with her. "I thought you were dead."
"I…I…talked to you earlier. Don't you remember?"
"I thought I was dreaming or was on the verge of dying."
Athena recalled that he had been barely conscious and certainly drugged. Athena looked over her shoulder to where her father and Cassie had been standing. They had both left the room. She sighed, resigned to whatever might happen.
"Your father does love you," Baltar said, catching the meaning behind her glance. "If he has any sense, he won't fault you for your charity."
"You think so?"
"I won't stand between him and you. Not now. It would be unfair to you," he said gently.
"But what about you?"
"It doesn't matter. Your father can take better care of you. I can't."
"No, no, no," she protested. "You shouldn't have to suffer anymore for what happened."
"Athena, how can you say that? Haven't you heard what they are saying about me?"
"Yes, I have. They don't know you. They weren't with you before the Destruction. They didn't know the Council was attempting a pre-emptive strike before it was impossible to do so."
"I never told you that much," Baltar said, intrigued by her statement.
"You didn't have to. I've had a yahren to figure out what had been going on from all those Council reports I read, and remarks you – and my father – made here and there."
"Ah, yes, that's right," he said and smiled. "You had access to 1/6th of the Council. Much more than most people get, even myself."
"Do you really want to continue this conversation on the floor?" she asked.
"I don't care where I continue it as long as it's with you." Again he smiled and Athena felt the warmth rising in her cheeks.
"But aren't you uncomfortable?"
"At the moment, it's a shorter distance to the floor; I'm not sure I can stand," he said. Although his shaking had subsided, Athena could feel his unsteadiness.
"I'll help you back to bed," she said, supporting him as he stood.
"You're welcome to join me…." He seized the railing at the top end of the bed.
"Oh, I see some things haven't changed." She felt herself blushing as she assisted him back into the Life Station's bed.
"I just can't help it when you're with me." He laughed with something of the delighted glee she remembered and now realized she had missed.
"You know you really had me worried," Athena said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her voice rose in pitch as she continued. "Do you know how many times I thought you had been killed? Besides this last time?
"No. I didn't –"
"There was the Destruction of the Colonies, and then Kobol…I really didn't know what to think after Kobol." Athena was relieved to finally be able to talk to someone who could understand. "People kept saying you had done these horrible things. I just couldn't believe that, but then I would be monitoring the comline and you were behaving really strangely. And you have to admit there were times that you were rambling on like a madman."
"Well, I –"
"But then my father wasn't himself either. I guess a lot of us weren't…but I couldn't talk to him because I was afraid he'd be furious and he had so much on his mind already, and I couldn't talk to you because if you weren't dead then you were off on some baseship somewhere or…or…. What's so funny?" Athena finally stopped as Baltar laughed.
"Forgive me. I can't keep up." He shook his head.
"You think I'm hopeless, don't you?"
"No, not at all," he reassured her. "It is all very confusing at times. I'm afraid I don't remember much after Kobol, except for being terrified most of the time."
"It was confusing and a little terrifying when I'd get the comline feed and the man I married was on it raving like a maniac."
"The man you married?" He asked, tilting his head slightly.
"Yes, you," Athena stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe. "Don't you remember the ceremony at the civic offices?"
"I remember that, but I thought that since the Colonies were destroyed you would have disregarding our little ceremony. I really couldn't blame you, or even hold you to it, if you had decided it was not valid."
"Is that what you think of me?"
"I'm just saying that you shouldn't be burdened with me and my problems after what has happened."
"I promised you," Athena insisted firmly. "There wasn't anything about it being nullified because my husband was ranting like a maniac."
"I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," Baltar said with an amazed and charmed expression.
"More than 'I love you'."
"Isn't that what you just said?" He smiled and then glanced at the door. "I think your father needs you now. Why don't you go and see to him?"
"But what about you?"
"I'm not going anywhere; I'll still be here. Now, you ought to go."
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When Athena left his room, Adama and Cassiopeia were waiting in the outer hall. Cassie could not help but notice that Athena was pale and her hand was trembling when she placed it on the wall to steady herself.
"Athena, why didn't you say anything?" Adama asked, surprising gently.
"I thought you would be angry…you hated him," Athena whispered faintly.
"Regardless how I feel about him, I love you. I always will. I wish you had told me."
"We were…after the Armistice…." Tears ran down her cheeks. "And then it didn't matter…."
"It did matter," Adama said, embracing her. "Your well-being matters to me."
"Other things were more important…and…and…you didn't need any more problems…especially with mother gone…and…." Athena's words trailed off. Cassie saw her eyelashes flutter and then her knees buckle.
"Athena?" Adama pleaded, catching her as she fell.
Quickly, Cassie assisted Adama in carrying Athena to an unoccupied room and getting her onto an empty bed. Alerted by their action, Doctor Salik joined them.
"Is she all right?" Adama asked Salik as he did an assessment of Athena's life signs. Cassie could hear fear and near panic in Adama's voice.
"I believe so; it appears she just fainted. Cassie's told me she's been under a lot of stress lately."
"For the last yahren," Adama said and sighed. "Ila was right."
"I'm sure Athena will be fine," Cassie said as she assisted Salik. She could now understand what Athena had told her. At the moment, Adama looked disconcerted and unsure. Not something that would lend others to have confidence in his leadership. He didn't need more trouble.
"Commander, I hate to remind you of this, especially now, but I think Siress Tinia is waiting for you," Salik said. On seeing the expression on Adama's face, he added: "Don't worry about Athena. We'll look after her."
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"Commander, have you forgotten we had an appointment?" Siress Tinia asked as Adama entered his quarters.
"No. Unfortunately I was detained by a family emergency." He greeted her cordially, having regained his composure. He assisted her to a seat at his desk and then took his own chair.
"I'm sorry to her that." Tinia's voice softened. "I hope it isn't serious."
"I'm not sure of its severity at the present time."
"Perhaps I can be of some help?" She rested her hand on his. "At the very least provide a sympathetic ear?"
"It's quite complicated," Adama said and gave a short laugh. "But thank you for your offer. I may need it."
"When you need it, I'll be here." Tinia smiled.
"The Council does not want to hear about my family's problems."
"I'm sure they don't, which is why I won't tell them," Tinia said firmly, but kindly. "In the meantime, there is that other matter the Council is concerned about."
"This was about Baltar, wasn't it?" A weary look passed over Adama's face. He really did not want to discuss this.
"I don't want to cause you additional aggravation, but, yes. Why is he still on the Galactica?"
"I wish I could be rid of the man. You have no idea of how much I wish I could be rid of him."
"Then why can't you? Although I can understand the need to bring him to the Galactica for surgery, he ought to be sufficiently recovered to be returned to the Prison Barge."
"Yes, and Doctor Salik has confirmed this, but there have been a few complications that require additional attention from Galactica personnel." Adama did not specify what kind of attention or which personnel. Tinia gave him a questioning look, but did not pursue details.
"As long as he is on this ship, he is a security risk."
"I'm aware of that."
"Have you forgotten his collaboration with the Eastern Alliance? The Nomen?" Tinia asked Adama.
"No, I haven't."
"What kind of alliance is he trying to forge even as we speak?"
Adama laughed in response to her question.
"Commander, I do not find any amusement in this possibility," Tinia scolded him, making her disapproval known.
"I apologize, Siress," Adama said almost meekly. "But I can assure you – and the Council – that he is not making any new alliances at the moment."
The Past - Kobol
Athena had thought he was dead, killed during the Cylon onslaught that had decimated the Colonies. Now, she had heard that, somehow, Baltar had not only survived but had arrived on Kobol.
She pushed aside the tent's entrance flap and saw Baltar inside sitting alone at a table. He looked up at her, astonished by her appearance. A moment later he was on his feet and embracing her, kissing her forehead, her cheek, her lips.
"Thank the Lords," he gasped and kissed her again.
"You were right to have me return to the Galactica," she said.
"But so wrong…the Council…I'm afraid we made such a terrible miscalculation." He tried to explain. "We thought we couldn't wait any longer…that we had to try to do something before it was impossible to do anything…I was sent to give them misleading information…something went wrong…."
"You can't blame yourself." Despite her words, tears blurred her vision and ran down her cheeks. "There's always a risk, even if you had decided to do nothing."
"You're much too charitable." He smiled sadly and wiped her tears away. "I really wouldn't blame you and the survivors if they lynched the remaining Councilors."
"There's only you and my father."
"Adar and the others…." He closed his eyes, sighing.
"I though you had been killed also."
"Perhaps I should have been – "
"No! Don't say that!" she protested.
"If you think I can salvage anything…." He shook his head, looking defeated and tired.
"You can't give up. We can't give up, please," she begged.
"I'll try, for you and the baby," he said bravely, trying to smile but failed when he saw something in her expression.
"I had a miscarriage," she whispered.
"I'm so sorry." He embraced her tightly. "I never meant for any of this to happen. I just wanted…."
"You didn't know. You can't blame yourself for attempting to make life better."
"You're amazing. Unfortunately others won't see it that way. They'll want someone to blame."
"I'll tell them they're wrong. We can go back to the fleet and sort it out. Just wait here. I'll be back." She gave him a quick kiss, and slipped out into the darkness. She saw Apollo heading towards the tent and ran to intercept him. Her resolve wavered when she saw the look of fury on his face, made even harsher by the hand torch he carried.
"Apollo, don't make any assumptions, please," Athena said.
"What are you talking about?" he snapped.
"Councilor Baltar. At least, listen to what he has to say."
"I don't need to hear anything he says."
"You have to," Athena pleaded.
"Don't you have something to attend to?"
"He was as much a victim as anyone –"
"Return to your duties, Lieutenant," Apollo barked, accenting her rank.
"Yes, Captain," she responded in an icy voice and fled into the night leaving Baltar to his fate.
