A/N: A large group to thank for reviews this time: Dreaming Haven, Dashita Tichou, JoTerry, Dragon and Sword Master, Assault Godzilla, Bluewater7, "Guest," and "anon." And thank you to those that added this or its author to their lists. If you tend to drink or snack while reading, you might want to refrain during the reading of this chapter. There is one part in here that you all may find hilarious enough to start choking. I wouldn't want that to happen. Let the gift giving begin!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Bleach characters, manga, anime, movies, etc. They belong by copyright laws to Tite Kubo et al.
The Twelve Days of Christmas
Eight Frowning Elders, Nine Nobles Calling
Ichigo was kicked in the early morning by enough force to raise his body up off the floor. He landed with a grunt and a growl. Opening one eye, he stared angrily at the perpetrator. Kukaku gazed back, clearly unrepentant about potentially hurting him.
"I told you we were leaving early so get your lazy arse up." She pivoted slightly to do the same to Ganju, even less gentle with him than she'd been with Ichigo.
The daiko groaned and got up, stepping over Ishida as carefully as he could. Not wanting to wake anyone up, he didn't say anything until he was out in the hallway. "How early are we leaving?"
"Seven. It's six now. Go take a shower and get dressed. Kuchiki's in your room getting dressed so I'll have Ganju bring you clothes in the bathroom when she's done. While I'm keeping her busy, you gather your presents. We'll go to Urahara's, return our gigai, and get back to the Soul Society. Kuchiki will go back to her estate and ready herself for the first presentation. After we're presentable, we'll join her."
"Fine," the teen grumbled and plodded his way upstairs. He passed Yuzu in the hall who promised a quick breakfast. Still partially asleep, Ichigo took a shower without much thought, earning himself some shampoo in the eye because of his inattention. Cursing, he quickly rinsed the soap out, knowing he'd be bloodshot for the rest of the morning.
When he was finished, he got out and towel dried his hair, making his way slowly to the sink. A knock on the door signaled someone wanted or needed entry and thinking it was Ganju with his clothes, he gave the clear for the person to come in. The person entered without making sure the coast was clear carrying his clothes.
Ichigo stared in shock, his body going rigid at the sight of Rukia. She was looking over her shoulder at something out in the hallway and didn't see him immediately. When she did, her eyes widened and the color drained from her face. Facing her in only a towel, the daiko could only pray that it didn't fall while she was looking.
Rukia closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. Opening one, she was not entirely surprised to find that she hadn't been seeing things. "Your clothes," she said hoarsely and tossed them to him before backing out of the room quickly.
"Thanks," he muttered to the closed door. Looking around for a place to put them, he wasn't surprised when Rukia roared Ganju's name and his cousin's reiastu fled the house. She must have been no more awake than he if she hadn't figured out that he was already in the room.
Deciding that it was best that he took his time, Ichigo tried to tame his hair as much as possible. By the time he got out, Ganju was waiting to take his turn, his sister lecturing him about his actions.
"Are you fricking dumb or fricking stupid?" she asked and he had a sense of déjà vu.
"But Sis…" For his sass, Ganju was punched, the force slamming his head into the wall.
Creeping passed the siblings; Ichigo went to his room and began getting his things together. Rukia was sitting at his desk, her head buried in her arms. "You okay?"
"I could kill him."
"If it makes you feel any better, it's not like you haven't seen most of it before. My bathing suit pretty much covers the same amount."
"It doesn't make me feel better but you're right. Let's just not mention any of this to Nii-sama."
"Deal." Tucking the last of the gifts that he'd bought in a bag, he picked up her sweater and tossed it so that it landed on her head. "Well, let's go eat breakfast. I don't think it'd be a good idea to test Kukaku's patience right now."
"No, I don't think so either." Pulling her sweater on, she followed him out of the room, her cheeks still a bit pink.
Ganju was sitting at the table, his clothes looking a little disheveled. The others were nowhere to be seen, and Ichigo supposed that they were off getting dressed in other parts of the house or clinic. Karin had managed to rise, not caring that she was sitting at the table in her pajamas. Isshin was calmly sipping coffee but his eyes twinkled when they met Ichigo's.
The two Shinigami ate quietly, not bothering to try to make small talk. Kukaku was standing at the counter, a cup of tea in her hand and her eyes glaring daggers at her brother. An empty plate sat next to her elbow, indicating that she'd eaten quickly. Ichigo consumed his food with a single mindedness that he usually reserved for battles, wanting to get going without any further problems. From her reiatsu, he could tell Rukia felt the same.
Karin and Yuzu kept silent, pretending that their food was far more interesting than it really was. Their father continued to be in a good mood despite the ire in the aura behind him. Finally he cleared his throat, earning him several looks of inquiry. "Make your goodbyes, children. We'll see you again at the end of the competition."
"Don't make an embarrassment out of the family name, Ichi-nii. Dad does that enough for all of us." Karin stood, picking up her dishes and taking them to the sink. "Feel free to beat him to a pulp if he screws up, Rukia-nee, Kukaku-nee."
"Always, kid," the clan leader replied. Rukia nodded in agreement but still didn't say anything. "Better make your goodbyes," Kukaku continued, nodding towards the others as they came into the room.
"Are you leaving now?" Orihime asked, looking at the Shinigami lieutenant.
"Yes. I wish you could all come with us."
"As do we, Kuchiki-san," Ishida said, a small smile on his face. "Please make sure to have detailed notes of what happened. We'll want to know how everything went."
"I will, Ishida. I'm sure there will plenty of evidence gathered," Rukia smiled. "Thank you all for sharing this holiday with me. I hope it will not be too long before we can see each other again." She bowed, earning a nod from the boys. Orihime came and hugged her, squeezing her tightly.
"Take care of him," she whispered, the conversation just for the two of them.
"Always," Rukia answered in kind. "Well, let's get going, Ichigo. The sooner we get there, the sooner I can find out what has you so confident."
"You just want more presents," he retorted, not surprised when she didn't deny his statement. He nodded to Ishida and Chad, earning equal gestures in return.
The three Soul Society residents and Ichigo left the Kurosaki household, making their way slowly to the Urahara Shoten. The genius was blurry eyed but awake, ushering them down into the training ground so that Rukia could open the Senkaimon somewhere semiprivate. He took the gigais back with thanks, promising to store them for whenever they needed them next. Tossing something in a jar to Ichigo, he waited until the daiko figured out what it was.
"This isn't Kon is it?"
"Correct!"
Opening the bottle, he dumped Kon's pill out into the palm of his hand. Bringing it to eye level, he studied the green orb, nostalgia filling him briefly. "Been ages since I saw this pest. Guess I can stop worrying about my body." Swallowing the pill, he waited until Kon's consciousness woke before pulling him to the side for a brief conversation. Once he believed the mod soul had a firm grasp on what to do while he was gone, Ichigo turned back to those who were waiting.
"Are you ready?" Kukaku asked, her new arm flexing now that it was out of the gigai.
"Yeah, let's go show those elders who's boss."
Rukia shook her head and took out Sode no Shirayuki, opening the portal without further ado. Four Hell Butterflies emerged, floating around their heads until they entered the Dangai. The trip was made sedately but none wanted to stick around and see if the Cleaner was going to show up. Upon exiting, the petite lieutenant turned to the others. "I look forward to seeing you later. Ichigo, after the presentation, I will expect you to accompany me to the barracks."
"Sure," he agreed easily. There wasn't anything else he had planned to do anyway.
"Then later, Lady Kuchiki," Kukaku grinned.
"Later, Lady Shiba," Rukia returned and flash stepped away.
"That sounded weird." Ichigo followed his cousins back to their house, the twin guards waiting with clothes and an impromptu lesson in manners for the daiko. He wanted to protest but every time something sprang to mind, he saw one of the big guys wipe a tear from their eye or hear their praise that their charges were going to be nobility again and suddenly found that he didn't have the heart. He supposed he could give in gracefully just this once.
But only once.
The Kuchiki Estate was alive with more activity than it had ever been any of the times Ichigo had been there save for the hurried rebuilding directly after the war. Ichigo stared at the numerous people being led into the manor, wondering how Rukia was going to take all the attention. She didn't like to be stared at and this was one time where she was going to be the center of attention.
Adjusting the collar of his kimono, Ichigo kept following Kukaku and Ganju in silence, taking in the measure of the other clans present. He didn't recognize any of them but with his infamous inability to remember names and faces, it was possible that he had and just didn't recall. None of the younger generation carried Zanpakutous and even his cousins had left theirs at home. He hadn't had the stomach to do so and had managed with a lot of grumbling from Zangetsu to at least seal the duel blades so that they didn't appear threatening.
People still stared and whispered, their mouths covered by their fans in an attempt to appear discrete. Several were visibly disgusted and he pretended as if he didn't notice. They hadn't been through two wars and countless battles. They didn't know what it was like to be without a piece of their souls when they needed it most. If they disapproved, that was on them.
"Kurosaki-sama, would you please come with me?" He turned to find Byakuya's man standing at the entrance to the hall where the families were gathering, the old man's head bowed out of respect.
"Is something wrong?" he asked. From what he could tell, neither Rukia, Renji, nor Byakuya seemed in distress.
"Her ladyship mentioned that you would perhaps feel uncomfortable leaving your Zanpakutou behind and asked that I show you a safe place to put it while at the gathering. It would raise too many questions were to you keep it on your person throughout."
"Rukia did?" His hands itched at the very thought of leaving it in another room.
"Yes. She suggested that your swords might do well with hers." The old man opened a door, the small office clearly made for a female occupant. Sode no Shirayuki sat on display, her power humming quietly in the silence.
"Yeah, I guess they would feel better here. Thank you." Setting down her gift, he pulled the two swords from his obi and slid them around the display where Rukia's Zanpakutou rested. "I'll be back for you guys later. Don't give Shirayuki-san any trouble because she has my permission to freeze you into statues." Hollow Zangetsu must have known the warning was really for him because Ichigo heard a grumbling assent in his mind.
Sode no Shirayuki pulsed once to show she understood before becoming dormant. Ichigo smiled briefly and turned with the assistant to leave the room, Rukia's present firmly in hand. They returned to the hall, the daiko going to join his cousins in the back of the room.
"The least is last, huh?" he asked. Settling down in between the siblings, he tried to make himself as comfortable as he could.
"Apparently so," Kukaku answered although she was anything but insulted. "Honestly, if these characters have what I think they do, their bound to fail right away. By the way, with you there are ten potential suitors. That means you have to beat all nine of the others."
"I remember from Rangiku-san's list. Have you spotted Yoruichi-san's brother yet?"
"Squirt's parked up front. He'll no doubt be allowed to go first."
Ichigo gazed around the crowd, finding a dark skinned youth where Kukaku said he'd be. Yuushiro looked particularly pleased with himself, a small package cradled in his hands. "Hmm, looks like Yoruichi-san did help him."
"You're still not worried?" Ganju asked.
"Not really." Ichigo wanted to add more but the door to the hall opened and eight elderly members of the Kuchiki clan filed in. None of them wore anything resembling a smile and he had to wonder whether or not they even wanted to do this. By the frowns on their faces he could only assume that they had been expecting things to go slightly different than they were. Byakuya must have put his foot down when he added his additional requirement.
The Kuchiki clan head, his sister, and Renji came in from a different door, the lieutenant of the Sixth taking a guarding position against the far wall. He met Ichigo's eyes over the crowd and nodded. Ichigo returned the gesture before putting his full attention on the noble siblings. Rukia was decked out in a pale blue kimono, the sleeves draping over her hands giving the sign that she was now able to get married. The white sash held the soft material securely in place so that her gait was small. Her cropped hair had been decorated with all manner of hair pins, making it seem like she was a Christmas ornament instead of a woman. Even her face had been slightly painted and Ichigo could only imagine the protest she had put up when she'd been told that was going to happen.
Byakuya helped his sister sit before addressing the crowd. "The clans gathered here today have done so to show how their sons are a fitting match for my sister, Lady Rukia Kuchiki. You have been informed of the requirements and the duration. The elders will discuss whether or not you have met those requirements and give their decision at the end as to which one of you is the winner." There was a general murmur of assent before he was allowed to go on. "However, you should know that if you upset my sister in any way, punishment shall be metered out swiftly."
Good old Byakuya. A greeting and a threat. Ichigo ignored the insulted whispers around him and concentrated on Rukia. From her uncomfortable expression, he figured that the one to insist on the formal clothes and accessories either had already met such a fate or would in the near future. Maybe that's why all the elders were frowning.
The eldest one of the bunch unrolled a piece of parchment and cleared his throat. Everyone got quiet and waited to hear what he was going to say. "As per tradition, you are here to demonstrate your eligibility. When your name is called, please present your gift. Remember, as the theme of this competition is "Twelve Days," you must have the right number of gifts matching the days or you will be disqualified. So say, Lord Shihoin, will you please step forward first."
The young master practically jumped to his feet and came forward, presenting his package with a flourish. Either he had heard about that somewhere or Yoruichi had played a bit of a practical joke on her brother. Either way, his enthusiasm was a little over the top and did not impress Rukia. She carefully undid the wrapping, turning it around so the audience, both in front of her and behind, could see what she'd been given.
Fitting in the palm of her hand sat a little cage. In it was a tree, a tiny bird sitting in its branches. It was easy to see by the fruit hanging from the tree limbs that it was a pear tree, and the long tail on the bird suggested that it was supposed to be a partridge. "Sister said you liked cute things," Yuushiro stated.
"I do," Rukia admitted. The figurine would have been cute too had it not been encrusted with every jewel known to man. Emeralds, rubies, diamonds, pearls and several other gems she didn't recognize because of their size. "This is…"
"Cute, right?"
Byakuya, recognizing the tone of his sister's voice, looked down at her. "Rukia?"
"I'm sorry, Lord Yoshino it's just…" She unintentionally grimaced, showing her unhappiness with what the young lord had given her. "Thank you, young sir, your first attempt was more than I could hope to expect."
Ichigo saw the kid's face fall and couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Yoruichi's brother. He'd tried and that was what matter. If it'd been a stuffed animal, the daiko might have been worried. Yuushiro sat down, a relative leaning over to give him a word of encouragement. From the distance separating them, the teen couldn't hear what was said but it must have cheered the boy up because he suddenly perked up and paid attention to the next suitor.
The second guy, who reminded him a lot of Izuru Kira, walked confidently forward and motioned for a servant to bring his gift forward. Something squawked from underneath the cover and Ichigo was hard pressed to keep from laughing. He could tell Renji was in a similar position because the red haired man was gazing at the ceiling while his shoulders were shaking. With a flourish, the man pulled the cover off to reveal a real pear tree and a real partridge. The animal let out a protest at being trapped, its ankle encompassed by a manacle. The manacle was attached to a chain which was attached to a hook on the pot the tree was in.
"Lord Minato, I do hope that is not what I think it is," Rukia's voice carried over the crowd, clear displeasure in her tone.
"I took the song to heart, my lady and got you a partridge in a pear tree. The partridge didn't want to stay, so I had to tether it."
"That is not a tether, Lord Minato. Please release the animal. I am not at all pleased by this." The man fumbled with the key he had around his neck and did as she requested. The bird, knowing who was responsible for its plight, flew into the lord's face and left several scratches. Ichigo couldn't help the snort that left his lips and that was all was needed to push the others into making some similar noise although they managed to avoid laughing out loud. If this was how things were going to go, he shouldn't even need to pay attention.
It was how things went. In point of fact, things just got worse. The gifts were either copies of the second or so impractical it wasn't funny. Someone got her a handkerchief embroidered with genuine gold and silver thread. There was no way she could actually use it and by the expression on Rukia's face, the guy knew he'd stepped wrong. At least it wasn't a live animal.
Eventually it was Ichigo's turn and he made his way slowly to the front of the room. "Lord Kurosaki, I swear, if you've given me some ridiculous gift I'm going to make you do flash steps with Captain Soi Fon."
"Don't worry. You'll like this one." The look she gave him told him she would reserve judgment until she actually saw it. Ichigo handed it over, placing his hands inside his sleeves while he waited for her to open it. Rukia abandoned any attempt at subtlety and ripped open the package, staring at its contents briefly before pulling the card that came with it out to read.
On the first day of Christmas your true love gave to you…
One half crown so you don't have to go bankai on someone just to wear one.
It was far from poetic but a laugh bubbled out unbidden. Her reiastu showed her delight and those around her relaxed in either relief or disappointment. Whatever was in the box had given her more pleasure at just the mention of it while all the other presents hadn't garnered half as much.
Rukia pulled the half-crown from the box, moving it back and forth while she marveled at how like the one she wore while in bankai it was. "How…? Crystals sparkled in strategic places, the silver delicate and light.
"I remember someone telling me about what your bankai form looked like and when I spotted this, I couldn't resist." Taking it out of her hand, he held it up to her dark hair, giving a nod in satisfaction. "Yeah, this works a lot better than all that junk you got in your hair. More regal."
Byakuya shifted next to him and Ichigo glanced sideways. "Don't you think this suits her better, Lord Kuchiki?"
The captain, unable to refute Ichigo's conclusion, nodded an acknowledgement. His sister's eyes lit up, whether because Ichigo was being polite or because Byakuya agreed with the daiko, the elder man didn't know. Pivoting long enough to check with the elders, the noble faced his fellow aristocrats. "Day one has come to an end. It is the decision of the elders that Lord Ichigo Kurosaki has given the best gift."
Ichigo smirked slightly, knowing Byakuya must have choked when attaching the title to his name. Even though the Shiba clan had yet to be reinstated, Kukaku had obviously made it known that they were on their way back and he was essentially a lord. Holding out his hand, he tugged Rukia gently to her feet, steadying her when she lost her balance because of her attire.
"Would you like to go try it on, Lady Rukia?"
"Perhaps I would, Lord Ichigo," the violet eyed Shinigami said and bowed to her guests. "Good day ladies and gentlemen. May you have better luck tomorrow." She stood beside her friend while they left, Kukaku and Ganju hanging back.
"We'll wait here until you've changed, Kuchiki. Gotta keep an eye on lover boy." The clan head grinned at the subtle but horrified looks the Kuchiki elders gave at her statement. Byakuya pretended he was deaf and that he didn't want to boot the whole lot of them out.
"Renji, we have work to attend to. Rukia, I will see you later."
"Yes, Captain," the adjunct said and followed him out of the room. Most of the elders left except for an older woman. She followed Rukia, obviously intent on playing chaperone.
"One down, eleven to go." Ichigo stretched, remembering that he had to go retrieve Zangetsu.
"It can only get easier, right?" Ganju asked and received equal looks of exasperation from his relatives.
"Don't jinx me."
"Sorry."
Day two found a repeat of day one. Turtle doves were found in various forms around the Kuchiki estate, Byakuya itching to kill the glorified pigeons when they dared to intrude on his solitude. The gifts had been sent to their home by messengers, the elders deciding that a gathering was not necessary and might even hinder their favorites.
Ichigo had come to the manor himself to deliver his gift, feeling that a personal touch would tilt the decision in his favor even more. When he arrived it was to find the other offerings, servants trying to capture the flying creatures while Senbonzakura threatened their lives. Rukia stood in the nearby garden, a bemused expression on her face and two stuffed animals in her arms.
"So, I guess the others didn't get the message."
"No," she agreed lightly.
"Byakuya kill any of them yet?"
"He's come close," Renji said, approaching from the veranda. The red headed man grimaced when one of the doves perched on the edge of the eaves and relieved itself all over the stone below. "Filthy creatures."
"No kidding. So, did Yoruichi-san's brother give you those?" Ichigo asked, slightly amused at the picture Rukia made. A grown woman with a propensity for cute things, she looked a lot younger than she was with the toys in her arms.
"Yes, apparently he got some more advice from her. Have you come to give me your gift for the second day?"
"Yeah," the daiko agreed. "Do I have to give it to you in front of the elders or something?"
"I believe that if you just do it in front of Nii-sama, that'll be fine."
The trio of Shinigami followed the feeling of incensed reiatsu, Byakuya's extreme displeasure filling the manor entirely. The captain looked up from his work, a turtle dove perched on a nearby table. "Kurosaki, if your gift breathes, I will slaughter you without a second thought."
"Nope, can't say that it does."
"Proceed," Byakuya ordered, looking up from the report he was trying to write. He watched with interest as Ichigo withdrew a small box from his sleeve and handed it to his sister. Rukia shoved the stuffed animals at Renji and accepted the gift eagerly.
Gift wrap and ribbon quickly littered the floor, the top to the small box following. A small gasp left her lips as she pulled out a snowflake, the delicate earring shining in the morning light. "It's so pretty," she whispered, holding it up so that the others could see it better. "I don't wear earrings though," Rukia commented, looking up at her orange haired admirer.
"You could, if you wanted to. Or just use them as hanging ornaments. I thought they kind of matched the crown I found for you so I couldn't resist using them for today." Ichigo rubbed the back of his head, uncomfortable with the knowing looks the other men were giving him.
"I like them a lot, Ichigo, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Rukia, you will go and show one of the eight elders and return here immediately." The lieutenant nodded and obeyed her brother, leaving the three males in awkward silence. She returned after a few minutes, the elder trailing behind her. "You have seen the present?" the captain questioned.
"I have, my lord," the elderly woman answered.
"Good," Byakuya returned and they all watched as sakura blossom blades shredded the turtle dove that had invaded his space. Startled shouts outside let them know that the rest of the unwanted visitors were meeting the same fate, eliciting snickers from his adjunct and Ichigo.
"Ichigo, can you promise that none of your gifts are living creatures from the song?"
"Rukia, I can honestly say that none of my gifts for you have anything to do with flying fowl." The high school senior chuckled and patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, Byakuya won't have to slaughter anything I give you."
"Lord Byakuya, it is going to be quite difficult to explain this to the other families," the elder scolded, not entirely unhappy. The pests had been dirtying their property since their arrival.
"Explain that they were hindering my duties as a captain of the Gotei Thirteen." No retort was given, merely an inclined head for agreement. The elder left the Shinigami to their thoughts, and went to give her report to the others. A decision would be announced later that day.
"Now things can return to normal. I trust there is no reason for you to be here any longer, Kurosaki."
"Not here. Gotta go back and let Kukaku know what happened. She's going to love what I found today." Ichigo turned to go but paused when a thought came to him. "Oh, Rukia, make sure you have permission to go to the Living World tomorrow. Your third gift is there. I couldn't bring it with me, unfortunately."
"I will," she answered, smiling. "Until then, my lord," she teased, laughing softly when he flushed with embarrassment.
The others watched as Ichigo flash stepped away, his dignity slightly dented. "Rukia, you may return to your duties as well."
"Yes, Nii-sama. Excuse me," she said and left to go to work. Her first two gifts from Ichigo had been wonderful and she couldn't wait to see what she received next.
He knew her far better than she'd imagined.
