Pardon my mistakes and typos, 'kay? And feel free to point out any other big mistakes. Okay, ninth chapter, here we go.
Disclaimer: All Kingdom Hearts characters belong to Square Enix and Disney.
Passion
Chapter Nine : Familiar Feeling
'Today might not turn out too bad after all,' were Luxord's thoughts an hour or so earlier. He had really believed it then, not seeing anything too bad occurring in the near future.
It just goes to show that thinking positively is an absolutely idiotic waste of time.
"I'm really sorry, Luxord! It was an accident! I didn't mean it!"
'Of course it was an accident. Why else would you have done it?' Luxord thought.
"Yeah. It was totally Demyx's fault. I had nothing to do with it."
"Axel! It was your fault too and you know it! You have to apologize too!"
"No way. I wasn't the one who flooded the kitchen."
"But if you hadn't provoked me, it wouldn't have happened! Everyone knows I don't have complete control over water yet!"
"If you knew something like this might have happened, then why'd you do it anyways?"
"Because you ate the last cookie!"
"Well, that clears things up," the red-haired man said dryly. "It's completely fine for you to flood the kitchen if I eat the last cookie."
"Axel!" Green eyes turned to him as the musician spun around and apologized again. "I'm really sorry, Luxord! Really sorry!"
Luxord let out a sigh, forcing himself to maintain a blank expression. When he felt he could talk without giving away his murderous thoughts he said, "Don't worry about it."
Demyx stopped apologizing. "So…you're not mad?"
He was having trouble keeping his face expressionless; standing in the middle of the kitchen soaking wet because an argument turned violent caused a sudden flash flood in the kitchen was neither a normal nor a very tolerable occurrence. It certainly didn't help things that the only other person in the kitchen was still laughing hysterically.
Pausing in his laughing fit, Xigbar looked at Luxord, his words coming out in gasps due to lack of air. "Dude," he said, two hands clutching his middle, "you…should have…seen…your face. It was…freaking…hilarious!"
Luxord glared at the sniper, mentally cursing the other man for having moved in time to avoid the water. "It's not funny, Xigbar."
The other man merely resumed laughing and Luxord had to bite back his next words. Demyx still seemed anxious, fidgeting slightly, but Axel didn't seem in the least bit apologetic. In fact, the red-haired man had summoned a portal next to him, probably planning on leaving before anything else happened. Before stepping into the portal, Axel turned to Demyx and said, "You should probably go explain this to Xemnas, though. He won't be happy to find out you flooded the kitchen, but, better he hear it from you then from someone else." Then he turned around and vanished in the swirling darkness.
Axel's words had succeeded in increasing Demyx's worry; now the blonde musician was looking near panicked. Clutching his head with both his hands, Demyx said, "Man, this is so unfair. The one time I get through a mission without screwing it up I get into trouble before I even report." He lowered his hands and faced Luxord. "I'm really sorry, okay? It won't happen again."
Still concentrating on not murdering the one who had started all of this or the one that had not bothered to warn him before it happened, Luxord said, "That would be for the best."
Demyx smiled sheepishly before he too, vanished into a portal. Luxord turned to look at the sniper–whose laughter had been reduced to muffled sounds–and crossed his arms, doing his best not to shiver from the cold. Deciding the best thing to do now would be to return to his room and wait for his clothes to dry, Luxord turned to leave without another word.
Xigbar looked up at the sound of his footsteps, pausing for only a short moment before following. As the other man fell into step next to him, Luxord noticed the grin on the sniper's face. His annoyance increased, and he said, "If you're going to continue to laugh, I ask that you do it somewhere else."
Letting out a short bout of laughter, Xigbar said, "Oh, come on, dude. You've got to admit, it was pretty funny."
"I have no desire to hear how hilarious my getting soaked by a guitarist was."
"Actually, Demyx is a sitar-ist. He said the thingy he plays is a sitar."
Luxord stored that piece of information. "Don't you have anything better to do, other than laugh at my expense, to occupy your attention?"
The sniper grinned at him. "Sure, I do. I could go bother Xaldin, annoy Zexion, or go bully Demyx after he's done reporting. It's just that this is way more fun."
He ignored Xigbar.
When he received no response, Xigbar said, "Demyx did apologize, you know, so you don't have to worry about the others finding out. It's not like he'll run around the castle yelling, 'Luxord got soaked in the kitchen because I didn't get my cookie!'"
It wasn't like he was still angry at the musician; in fact, he was angrier at Xigbar than at Demyx. He had never liked surprises to begin with, and Xigbar laughing at him didn't do anything to help. He saw no need to voice out his thoughts, however, so Luxord continued to ignore Xigbar.
"Dude, you are so uptight. Someone should teach you how to loosen up."
"Is that not expected? Seeing as how we're supposedly beings with neither hearts nor emotions, isn't it normal?"
He crossed his arms, wearing an expression of mocked hurt. "Are you saying I'm not normal?"
"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying."
Xigbar didn't say anything for a moment and silence descended. Luxord was in the middle of wondering what exactly he was supposed to do while he waited for his clothes to dry when Xigbar said, "Do you really believe that?"
Pulled away from his thoughts, Luxord said, "Believe what?"
"Believe that we can't feel anything."
Luxord raised an eyebrow at the odd question, "Was that not what Xemnas said?"
The other man just shrugged and didn't say anything else, so Luxord didn't pursue the conversation any further. He could see the rooms now, and his thoughts lifted at the notion of getting out of the cold wet clothes. He moved to his room and was surprised when Xigbar continue to follow him. Turning around to face the other man, Luxord crossed his arms and said, "What are you doing?"
Leaning against the wall, Xigbar smirked. "Following you."
"Into my room?"
"Just got your room two days ago and already so possessive." Xigbar shook his head, smirk still on his face. "You're going to change, right?"
He nodded.
"Chill. I'll sit in your room and you'll change in the bathroom."
Luxord sighed. "Xigbar–" he started but was cut off by the sniper.
"Don't worry." He put up both hands in mock surrender and said, smirk ever present, "I won't peak. Promise."
Obviously, nothing Luxord could say would change the other man's mind. That and the fact that he was still cold and itching to get warmer pushed Luxord to opening the door to his room. He walked inside, Xigbar coming in after him and closing the door behind him. He watched silently as the sniper made his way to the bed and promptly sat down on it, ignoring the mental protests of allowing the other man to be in here.
Luxord was about to retreat to the bathroom when he remembered Xigbar's words earlier. A distant suspicion roused, Luxord said, "Xigbar."
The sniper turned to face him. "Yes?"
"What did you mean by 'change'?"
Xigbar tilted his head sideways. "Change as in change into different clothes."
"How do you suggest I do that?"
He seemed surprised. "You don't know?"
Luxord shivered slightly. "Don't know what?"
"You can make new clothes."
There was a pause before Luxord said, "By using a needle and thread?"
Xigbar grinned. "No. You just make it out of the darkness."
Now he was at loss for what to say.
Seemingly having expected his lack of response, Xigbar's grin grew wider. "I could make some for you if you want, but you've got to say please first."
He resisted the urge to sigh. Despite the fact that the very idea of Xigbar making clothes for him to wear made him uncomfortable, Luxord didn't see any other way to get dry clothes. Deciding to ask more questions after he got new clothes–because at that moment, he desperately wanted to get out of his wet clothes–, Luxord looked at Xigbar and grudgingly said, "Please."
The other man got up and walked over to him. Standing next to him, Xigbar put one hand on his shoulder and closed his left eye, his other eye hidden by the eye patch. Luxord tried not to fidget, standing as still as he possibly could. After a few minutes of silence, a whirl of darkness appeared in front of them. Luxord watched silently as the sniper reached out a hand into the swirling darkness. It stayed there for a moment before Xigbar pulled his hand back and the darkness disappeared.
He felt Xigbar let go of his shoulder and Luxord took a step back. The other man grinned at him, lifted his hand and said, "Here you go."
Luxord reached out and carefully took the offered garments. He stared at it for a few moments before saying, "How did you do it?"
Laughing, Xigbar said, "You should go change. You've been wearing those wet clothes for some time already, you know." When Luxord made no move to go to the bathroom, he shrugged and sat back down on the bed. "Go change first. I'll tell you how to do it after you change."
Later was good enough for him; at least he was getting an answer. Luxord walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He held out the clothes Xigbar had given him, studying them. They looked like normal clothes and there didn't seem to be anything visibly wrong with them, so Luxord supposed it was alright to wear them. Still feeling a little suspicious, Luxord took off the wet clothes he was wearing–his boots were left next to the bathtub–and changed into the drier but identical garments.
He left the wet clothes on the sink, unsure of what to do with them and deciding he'll figure it out later. Seeing as how his boots were in no condition to be worn, Luxord walked out of the bathroom barefooted.
As he closed the door, Xigbar looked at him. "Feeling better much?"
Instead of replying, Luxord crossed his arms and repeated his earlier question, "How did you do it?"
"Same way you made your cards. You've got to focus. Only this time you have to use the darkness as well."
He leaned against the wall behind him. "How do I use the darkness?"
Xigbar leaned back, using his arms to support his weight. "That's going to be kind of hard to explain." He paused before continuing. "See, Nobodies are born from the darkness, right? Since we were made from the darkness, the darkness is a small part of us. So, to use the darkness, we just have to look for the darkness inside of us and use it. Get it?"
Luxord frowned. "I'm not sure I follow."
The sniper sighed. "Well, you have to find the darkness inside of you. When you find it, you focus your thoughts on it and do whatever it is you were going to do. That's how we use the portals."
From the way Xigbar said it, he was making it sound like the most natural thing in the world. 'Making clothes out of darkness is a perfectly acceptable everyday occurrence.' He supposed he might as well as give it a try; so far, everything Xigbar had told him had turned out to be true, despite the oddness of some of them. Luxord closed his eyes and tried to do as Xigbar said, completely unsure of what he should be looking for.
After a few moments of prodding and turning up with nothing, Luxord let out a soft sigh of frustration he could no longer hold back. He searched his mind for anything that might give him a clue of what he was looking for. As he was going through past events, he remembered the empty feeling he used to feel so often before–strangely enough, he hadn't felt that feeling for quite some time now–and wondered if that could be it.
Before he could test his suspicions, Xigbar spoke up, "You can sit down, you know. I mean, dude, it's your room."
Luxord opened his eyes and looked at man who was watching him with a look of amusement on his face. Just as he decided to ignore Xigbar's statement and go back to searching, the other man got up and moved to the one chair in the room. Pulling it out from under the table, Xigbar sat down on it and looked at Luxord, seemingly expectant.
He didn't move to sit on the bed immediately, taking his time debating whether he should sit down or not. Finally, Luxord sat down on his bed. After casting one look in Xigbar's direction, he went back to his search.
Still having no idea how exactly he was supposed to find the darkness, Luxord basically went around in circles in his head, mentally prodding his mind. He still ended up with nothing. Luxord bit back a growl of frustration, and searched harder, going through his thoughts and what little memory he had in a hurried search.
Just as he was about to give up and write off his experiment as a completely useless waste of time–for now, at least–Luxord stumbled into the familiar feeling. Somewhere deep inside his mind, Luxord found what he was looking for. The familiar repulsive feeling of hollow nothing he so hated came back in full force. He stopped himself from the reflexively flinching; instead he clutched the bed, his fingers digging into the mattress.
Mind reeling, Luxord struggled to focus his thoughts on the feeling, picturing the black swirl Xigbar had created a few moments ago. When he felt that he had a clear enough picture, he pushed feeling, thoughts and picture together. The familiar tingling spread out throughout his entire body and Luxord opened his eyes.
In front of him stood a black pool of darkness identical to the one Xigbar had created earlier. Feeling a spark of satisfaction at his success, Luxord almost smiled but stopped himself before he could when he remembered the other man. Luxord turned his head slightly to look at the sniper.
Xigbar was considering the darkness Luxord had managed to create in silence. After a few seconds of silence, Xigbar clapped his hands, a small grin on his face. "You did it, dude. Bravo."
Luxord felt his concentration slipping. Deciding not to fight to keep the swirling darkness there, he allowed himself to lose focus, letting the image in his mind disappear. He watched the last of the darkness fade away and let out a breath he had not known he was holding.
There was silence as he breathed, perfectly content to remain silent. Xigbar, however, broke the silence not long after. "So, Mister-I-managed-to-call-out-the-darkness-on-my-second-try, what are you going to do now?"
Feeling completely drained of energy again, Luxord decided he wanted to rest, but he didn't exactly want to tell Xigbar that. The other man was still waiting for his answer, however, so he relented. "Sleep."
To his surprise, Xigbar nodded and got up. "Then I guess I'll be leaving now." He moved towards the door. Luxord unclenched his fingers and got up too, watching the sniper open the door and step outside. Xigbar turned around to look at him and said, "See you tomorrow?"
Luxord nodded. "Shall we meet in the kitchen?"
He grinned. "Sure. See you then. Enjoy your beauty sleep." He waved his hands in farewell and left before Luxord could come up with a response.
Closing the door, Luxord went back to his bed. Discarding his jacket, he left it on the table and lay down on the bed. Feeling exhaustion take over, Luxord fell asleep almost immediately, today's events circling each other in his head.
End of 9th chapter
How was it? I'm really worried about this chapter and chapter before, you know, since I didn't really have very much time to read and reread it over and over again before I put this on. My apologies if this sucked. Seriously. Next chapter will be better, I hope, but no promises since I'm not sure if I can keep it or not. Thanks for reading this!
