Quick recap of everything thus far and some extra details:
Himeno has picked Sasame, not over Hayate though. She does feel attraction for both, but Sasame is the one she wants by her side because she believes that Hayate has no interest in girls or people in general (with his poker face and all). While Himeno is trying hard to reclaim forgotten memories, she lives happily in her newfound life with two important guys. The truth about the past is still yet to be known. Hayate has become Himeno's best friend for her sake and his love does not speak openly. Sasame has succeeded in getting Himeno to be his girlfriend and hopes that the events of the past don't affect the future. Sasame's words can touch any girls heart, but he cannot fully claim Himeno's heart as his own. In the end, it's still Himeno's decision and there is still time for another future.
KeyQuis: I'll be quick here. I'm trying hard to incorporate all of the characters' thoughts and feelings as best as I can without writing an insane amount for readers. It feels like everything's coming to an end XD. Just a few more (6) chapters and it'll end. It almost feels saddening to finish it, but I must for other fanfics' sake (can't have this one story take all the spotlight). Must make more one shot fluffs! lol. Btw, some parts may be kinda boring, but they're really important for future references. One packed chapter.
Only You: Hayate's Decision
It was well into spring and midterms were underway. Trees and flowers were in full bloom, but there were some students who preferred to stay indoors and study for the much anticipated finals. The Shirayuki Sakura choir had an regional competition for the nationals.
"And then I get to finish off with an orchestrated version of Eternal Heart, wrapping up our presentation. It'll be so much fun," Sasame chimed as he ate his lunch. "It's too bad that you won't be able to come, Himeno."
Himeno gazed up at her boyfriend. Sasame was really psyched about performing his song for a crowd of thousands. Himeno smiled as she ate another meat roll. Her eyes then went to an always quiet Hayate. He looked really tired on this particular lunch hour.
"I'm finished." Hayate packed up his half eaten bento hurriedly. "See you in class." He almost got out of his seat.
Without a moment to spare, Himeno dove towards him and skillfully grabbed his sleeve, pulling him right back down to his seat. "You can't be finished. You didn't even eat all of your lunch." Himeno frowned at him sternly. "What's the hurry? There's still more than half an hour left of lunch."
Sasame knew what Hayate was up to. It was the same thing he did for the last few years-lunch hour training session. It was a week and a half before the kendo regional tournament and Hayate would train his body to temporarily metabolize faster in order to achieve 'more efficiency' or Sasame would call it, 'more energy'. He never understood why Hayate was always so eager and determined to win in his division. After all, there was nothing for him aside from recognition and personal glory. But Hayate wasn't that type of person. He could care less about others' opinions and their respect. Personal glory? Sasame seriously doubted that his brother strived to be the strongest and the best because there was no one to show it to. He knew his brother hated fans and a cheering section. Sasame watched his girlfriend pine over Hayate about finishing his lunch. So what if you win it for Himeno, it's not like it'll mean anything to her. No point in showing off your sword, it's too late.
"I'll be fine." Hayate couldn't yank her hand off his sleeve.
"No you won't! I demand that you finish your lunch!" Himeno continued to fiercely grip his sleeve, refusing to let go until he opened up his lunch box.
"I said I'll finish it later," Hayate responded. "Let go. I have to go train." Himeno loosened her grip a bit, but not enough.
"What training? Don't you think the extra early morning practices and extended evening sessions are enough training already? Is winning really important to you?" Himeno demanded. Her grip increased tenfold. "I don't see how not eating lunch does anything for you!"
Hayate sighed and sat back down. You wouldn't understand. "Winning this tournament is something I want to do. I was just going to go to the workout gym and finish lunch right before class." Himeno was staring at him with her beautiful eyes and he could feel Sasame giving him an icy cold stare. "I'll be fine. Honestly, I've been doing this for the past 3 years and I did win the junior title. The extra effort pays off." So why didn't I try a little harder for your love? "Besides, it's just until the tournament is over. Nothing to worry about." Hayate smiled softly at her.
Himeno released his sleeve. Wow, Hayate works hard to win...but what for? "Should I train like you too?" Himeno asked. "I want to win too."
"No. Definitely no." Hayate's answer came out dead serious. "You should be more concerned about mastering techniques. Some of your movements are still sloppy. I have to go now." Hayate quietly left.
Himeno gazed at him until he left the roof. She turned her attention back to Sasame. "I'm sorry. If not for the tournament, I would go to the performance." The location of the tournament was in the next two towns, about a 3 hour bus ride. "I'm sure you'll do fantastic. Go share your song with everybody." Himeno scooted closer and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.
"What was that for?" Sasame leaned in and wrapped an arm around her waist.
"Just wanted to." Himeno closed her eyes and parted her lips.
"Fine with me." Sasame returned the favour on her mouth. It was a good thing neither of them were chewing any food.
"Your dodges still aren't timed properly. How did you ever excel in karate?" Hayate charged at her again and scored another point.
"All I've got is physical strength." Himeno gave a ferocious swipe at Hayate, only to have him block it flawlessly. "And I'm trying to learn how to not be so brutal. "I bet I could beat you to the ground in karate." Himeno tried another onslaught of combined strikes and failed with every single one. At last, Hayate finished her off with a quick side attack that sent her tumbling to the ground.
"I doubt that." Hayate removed his helmet and gloves. "With you moving like a maniac, it won't be hard to avoid." Hayate chuckled at the thought of Himeno trying to beat him up. Not that getting beaten by a girl was funny or anything. "That's enough for today. Hit the showers, I'll clean up." Hayate watched Himeno hastily remove her armor.
"You doubt?" Himeno got all fired up. She tossed her equipment aside and got into a stance. "I'll make you wish you never met me." Himeno smiled wickedly and teased. "If you're too scared to fight, then admit defeat now and I'll spare your life."
Hayate didn't know what to think or say. He wanted to laugh, but didn't dare in fear of letting her get the first strike. He shoved his armor aside as well and faced an angry Himeno. The words she spoke earlier on hurt him deeply, even if it was a joke. He decided to teach her a little lesson in 'think twice before you speak'. "You're on." Hayate readied himself for a fight.
Without warning, Himeno leapt towards him with a flying kick, which he did dodge. Himeno tried a few punches and he blocked all of them. Himeno concentrated her attack on grabbing Hayate and hoped to tackle-flip him. Hayate simply side-stepped swiftly, grabbed her wrists and gently tripped her. He also stopped her from falling.
"Stop the nonsense. I can read all of your-" Hayate was a fool to think she would stop especially when he was within her grasp. Himeno switched their gravity advantage and pinned him to the ground.
Himeno beamed a bright smile at her victory against the impervious Hayate. "See, you should learn to never stop fighting, even when it's hopeless. Never give up until the opponent is down or until you win. Just because you could read everything, doesn't mean you know the future." Himeno bent her head down to look at his. "You didn't expect this to happen, did you?" Himeno remained on top of him, comfortably as a matter of fact.
"Fine, you win," Hayate grumbled and massaged the pain on the side of his head. When his vision snapped back, he noticed how dangerously close Himeno was. She was sitting on his abdomen section, with her hands resting against his chest. Her head was right over his own and if he raised his head a little bit higher...her lips would be his to take. "You're kinda heavy sitting on me. Get off please," Hayate said rationally, keeping his head on the floor.
"Oh sorry." Himeno got off and helped him up. "And you should never tell a girl she's heavy, meanie."
"I lied, you're light," Hayate replied. "I just wanted to see how you would react to something so small." He dusted himself off and went to pack his equipment. "Come on, it's late and there's practice tomorrow morning if you want to more training."
Himeno sighed and packed up her stuff as well. You're so strong, Hayate. No one can beat you if you never give up.
"Take care, I hope you'll have lots of fun and win." Sasame gave Himeno a good bye kiss on the cheek. "And don't worry, when I sing my song, I'll be thinking of you in my heart."
"You're the sweetest." Himeno hugged him farewell and hurried up onto the bus. She waved a good bye and blew a kiss before going to her seat.
"I love you!" Sasame yelled out. He watched the bus take off. I just wished you could be there to watch me sing again. He went back into the house to get ready for school.
Himeno sleepily sat next to Hayate. It was 5 in the morning and she didn't get a good night's rest. She was nervous and still unsure whether or not she could pass the first round of elimination. She let out a yawn before noticing that Hayate was sleeping in his seat.
Hayate closed his eyes in order to save up energy. He didn't want to exhaust his sensory system on the way there. Sensei had offered to take them in his van with a few others, but Hayate kindly refused because he didn't want Himeno to be sitting beside any other guy other than him on this trip. He had his MD on, filled with a variety of music. He found trance music to be most suitable on this long ride. He wasn't asleep at all. He had gotten a full night's rest, unlike the person next to him.
Himeno found herself staring at Hayate's sleeping face. She saw how visible his handsome features were. Despite the long hair, it was very well maintained; it probably flowed perfectly in the wind. His eyelashes weren't as long as Sasame's but they were thicker. Nicely shaped brows, chiseled chin...and cheeks that were open for poking. Himeno didn't resist the urge to do so.
Hayate knew who it was poking him and he ignored it. She was touching him ever so playfully, but when she pinched his cheeks, Hayate didn't let that pass him by.
"I'm not a doll. Don't just do as you please." Hayate spoke out in a crisp sharp tone. One hand tightly held her wrist, almost crushing her hand. "You should get some rest. You didn't look bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning." He kept his eyes closed.
Himeno yanked her hand free and fell asleep fast. It wasn't before long until the bus swerved and she snuggled unknowingly on Hayate's shoulder.
She told me to never give up. I really shouldn't have let her go so easily. I should have put up a better fight. I should have been stronger. Hayate wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to rest against his chest. He decided it was best to take a short nap in this position.
Himeno woke up and found Hayate's overcoat on top of her. He was staring out the window, unaware of her awakening. "Are we there yet?"
Hayate had his MD off so he was able to hear her. "Another 10 minutes or so. Tournament starts in another hour or so. You should stay awake from now on."
Sasame went to his early morning pre-rehearsal. As always, his performance was flawless. He drank some honey water to soften up his throat.
"Sasame-kun. My friends and I baked these yesterday. We hope you'll take them for good luck," a girl said flirtatiously, with a band of females behind her. "With your girlfriend away and all, we'll cheer you on in her place." She batted her eyes at him as she held out a box of baked goods.
Sasame smiled casually at them all. He knew it would hurt their feelings if he rejected their offer, but he didn't want them to get any wrong ideas about 'just because my girlfriend isn't here, doesn't mean I'm available to any other girl'. It had been a long time since female students approached him with offers of food. When he made it very clear that Himeno was the only girl he was interested in by holding her hand while walking to classes and showin affection, female students had given up on him because all his attention was focused on one female. Sasame set down his water bottle on the side.
"Sorry, I can't accept it. I don't need any other girl to cheer for me. Please give those to someone else," Sasame stated monotonously. The girl looked like she was going to cry.
"But we made these especially for you!" a girl in the back cried out. "Please take them, Sasame-kun." More girls pleaded and pressured him.
"If you give it to me, I'll only throw it away and it'll be a waste of your time," Sasame replied harshly, trying to mimic his brother's cold and effective approach. "I don't want it." He hoped that this time, the message got through.
"Why do you like her so much anyways?" one girl blurted, out of frustration. "What's so great about her anyways? It's not fair for her to have you Leafe brothers give her so much attention."
"Silence!" Sasame yelled out. His voice rang aloud with pure anger. "I love Himeno and what we do is none of your business. She is Hayate's best friend so I strongly suggest you leave my brother out of this matter."
Sasame finally understood why fan girls irritated Hayate. They were just plain annoying. He should have rejected them from the beginning, but his desire for glory and victory over his brother got the best of him and placed him in the worst position as a guy. He was almost the an infamous playboy who decided to get committed, almost.
"If you'll excuse me now, I have to go sing now." Sasame left his seat quickly, not wanting to hear any more garbage talk.
"I hope she falls in love with Hayate and breaks your heart!" one girl screamed out, making sure her curse was heard.
Sasame stopped for an instant, then walked off again. Damn it.
Hayate checked Himeno's equipment. She had put in on so nervously that he thought it was going to fall off the instant she made a furious charge.
"Hold still, will you?" Hayate restrapped her helmet for her. "Raise your arms, the chest piece isn't properly tied." Hayate skillfully fixed it in place and proceeded to her gloves. "You forgot to prewrap your hands with this." He swiftly did that for her as well. "There, all done. Move around." He stepped back to get another overview.
"Thanks Hayate." Himeno felt so much better with the readjustments. "You should get suit up yourself."
"Females fight first. I start in the third intermission," Hayate replied calmly. "You sound nervous."
"I am!" Himeno felt quite intimidated by the vast amount of competitors who had more experience and skill. If it was karate, she wouldn't worry but this was kendo, a whole different story. "I know I have to stay focused and not be so aggressive in my movements, but but," Himeno said with uneasiness in her heart. "I don't want to lose on the first round. I trained so hard with you. I don't want to let you down, Hayate."
He saw the fear of disappointment in her eyes, despite the helmet. He patted her on the head. "Don't worry about letting me down. You just go have fun. Losing hurts, but losing to your fear is worse." He smiled at her, the rare smile, hoping to cheer her up. "You're my best friend. I won't blame you for anything."
Himeno was blushing in her helmet. That smile. Hayate... The words encouraged her to give it her best. "You're the best, Hayate!" Himeno lunged forwards to hug him. She heard a slight 'oof' come out.
"It might not seem like it, but you're a lot stronger than you think. You were able to keep sparring with me and you didn't do too bad. I just trained you really hard." Hayate patted her on the back. "Never give up, remember?"
Himeno nodded slightly. "Okies, I'm on in 10 minutes. I better get to the floor now. See ya!" She scurried over to her waiting area.
"She's very strong as a first timer, isn't she?" Ouka-sensei asked as Hayate walked over to him, taking a seat beside him.
"She is, but I haven't told her how strong she really is. She'll make it to the semi-finals easily," Hayate replied calmly. "If I complimented her too much, she might not have tried as hard to get to where she is now." His eyes were focused on that one special girl. "Himeno is very strong. She will win her first match in no time."
Ouka-sensei chuckled to himself. "She's special to you, isn't she? You trained her so vigorously, I wouldn't be surprised if she gets first place in her division." He patted Hayate on the back, congratulating on his hard efforts and devotion in training Himeno. "Is Himeno the only girl you treat so kindly? Aside from your mom of course."
Hayate knew the answer deep in his heart. He looked straight into his teacher's eyes. "She is. Himeno is the only one." She's the only girl in my heart. I don't want to be apart from her side ever again...even if it hurts to be by her side. "The match is starting now." Hayate directed his attention to his one and only.
Himeno was surprised the match ended so fast. All she did was make one fast and hard charge and the opponent got knocked out of the arena. Am I that strong? She was in a daze. Her opponent had lost balance so easily. Must be all of Hayate's training. She bowed at the judges, who gave her the victory signal and moved her name up the chart. Himeno felt a thrill run through her body. She had just won her first official kendo match and so fast too. Before she knew it, she was running towards Hayate to give him a hug.
"Himeno! No! Stop!" Hayate waved his hands and tried to signal her to stop because she was going to crash into him, with full armor and all, and he knew it was going to hurt. "Himeno!"
Himeno would have fallen on top of Hayate if he didn't defend himself with his shinai at the last moment. He blocked her furious charge.
"Easy there. You won your first match. That was great Himeno. You remembered to not be reckless." Hayate smiled at her unknowingly.
"I'm just so excited! That was so cool! You're the best, Hayate. If you didn't train me so hard, I wouldn't have won." This time, Himeno managed to happily hug Hayate.
"Hey, the tournament isn't over yet. Your next match starts right after the one ends over there. Don't let one victory get over your head, Himeno. You still have to focus." Hayate gently pushed her away.
"Alright." Himeno ran into the waiting area. Hayate really is the best.
Just remember. If your opponent is more skilled, don't make the first move. They'll be able to counter it very easily. You're better off waiting it out and letting them screw up because they'll be forced to make the first move. But it is crucial to read their movements. Learn how they fight by watching other battles they're in and study their techniques. It's important to know their style of sword play before coming up with a strategy. Everyone has a weakness if they let others see it.
Himeno was panting hard. Her final opponent had won the title in the previous years and Himeno had become exhausted in her previous battles. Her ferocious style of sword play was energy packed. Her legs were aching from insane accelerations and her arms were sore from too many rapid sword swings. Her opponent clearly had the advantage over her. It was almost the match point and they were tied. Himeno tried her best to recall everything she was taught, everything that Hayate had said and Himeno knew she couldn't make the first strike against her adversary. I have to focus and find her weak point. Hayate didn't tell me what it was, but he said there was one major one and ten minor ones. I have to find out what that one is.
Hayate bit his lips nervously. He viewed the terrible situation Himeno was in. Please don't move, Himeno. He watched Himeno continually stand in her place. Come on...you can find it.
Himeno couldn't find it. I have to come up with a different plan. If this was karate, what would I do? Himeno thought for a moment and the answer came. I can do it. I can win. Himeno circled her opponent, forcing her to focus harder. Himeno faked a few strikes, hoping to catch her off guard. She didn't fall for it. Guess I'll risk the one hit challenge point. Himeno issued the challenge by raising her sword into that stance and her opponent followed. This is it, winner takes all. She cried her war battle and charged.
"Himeno! Are you okay?" Hayate rushed over to the sprawled body on the floor seconds after the match ended.
"I think I am." Himeno held back her tears. She felt Hayate begin to unstrap her helmet. Her eyes became watery.
"You gave all us quite a scare." Hayate removed the helmet and saw a tear-stained face. "Himeno..."
"I'll be fine." Himeno uncontrollably started sobbing. I lost. Hayate wrapped his arms around her.
"It's okay. You still did great." Hayate said, trying to comfort her.
"I think she did more than great. She was awesome." The girl took off her helmet and gloves. "You must be the best first-timer in this tournament. You're the most worthy rival I've faced in my whole life. The fight with you was an honour." She extended her hand.
Himeno took off her gloves and shook it. "Thank...you," Himeno sniffled out. Hayate helped her stand up.
"I hope to fight with you again next year." The girl bowed and left.
"Come on, let's get back to the others." Hayate guided Himeno to their resting area.
Himeno was greeted by waves of cheers and congratulations. Despite her narrow lose, Himeno managed to overcome it and put a smile on her face again. It was all because of Hayate. I was able to get so far because he was with me. He was by my side. She found Hayate smiling at her. I wish he could stay with me forever, the depths of her soul desired.
Hayate made his personal best record to the final match. All his battles timed up to less than 7 minutes. His speed was almost unmatched. His final opponent for the day was none other than that guy.
"Kei Pocky. Nice to finally be able to face you, Hayate Leafe." The golden blonde shook the new intermediate's hand.
"Likewise." Hayate coldly took his hand back.
"Just to let you know. I have a section of fans that I can't let down so I won't be able to let you win." Kei pointed in a very obvious direction.
Man, this guy is so full of himself. Let me win? I'm not that pathetic of a duelist. Hayate didn't let the anger distract his concentration. His mind was comforted by one particular voice.
"Come on, Hayate! I know you can beat this guy!" Himeno's voice alone surpassed the entire fan section of the other guy. "You're the best swordsman to me! Hayate!" Himeno's cheering was pulled back by Ouka-sensei.
"That is enough for him, Himeno. He'll be fine now."
"But...that guy has all those other girls cheering for him. I gotta do something for Hayate," Himeno protested.
"You already did. Just look at Hayate. He radiates of pure strength. I don't sense any fear in him. He will win. Just watch him."
Himeno noticed that Ouka-sensei was right. Hayate.
"I only need one girl to cheer for me," Hayate said coldly to Kei. "She's all I need to win."
The match began heatedly. Both of them had studied each other's move and waited for the other to make a mistake. Hayate's defense was flawless. Kei didn't give him a good chance to strike back. Kei didn't want Hayate to ruin his perfect kendo record. He didn't want to let his fans down. He didn't want to ruin his prestigious image, being number one. Pride and arrogance was Kei's weakness and Hayate took advantage of that.
Hayate had already planned to use defense as his offense from the very beginning. It was effective in making Kei lose energy, thus making him lose speed but Hayate had to concentrate very hard. Somewhere in the background, he heard Himeno's voice cheering him onwards to victory. Hayate's plan had worked better than expected. Kei's movements were slowed down enough for him to finish him off in a few skilled strokes. Hayate increased the distance between them, setting the position for an old technique, forgotten by many people of the new generation. He needed all the sprinting distance he could get because this attack was considered as a one-hit-KO if executed properly. Kei would feel the pain through his armor. Hayate readied himself. Kei stood baffled at the large gap between them.
It was over within a matter of moments. Kei fell to the ground in pain. Hayate looked at the judges, who gave him the winner's sign. Hayate took off his helmet and bowed. Closing ceremony was going to start. One judge fixed his eyes on the young man.
"You won!" Himeno jumped on Hayate the instant he removed the last piece of armor. "THAT WAS SOOO COOOOOL!" Himeno didn't realize that she had pummeled Hayate to the ground.
All Hayate could do was let out a relieving smile when Himeno wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, almost suffocating him. And it's all thanks to you for cheering me on. Himeno got off his quickly and sat on the floor, next to him. Hayate felt his leg muscles burn in pain. The after effects of using the 'sword of the wind' were strained arms, legs and possibly breathing difficulty. Hayate was experiencing more than those three because he used that technique for the first time. His whole body was searing with pain. Hayate's mind blanked out and he fainted.
Ah dammit, I'm hurting all over the place. My whole body is numb. Hayate slowly opened his eyes and everything seemed blurry. Where am I? Hayate tried to sit up, but someone pushed him back down.
"Don't move. Just rest up." Himeno placed a cold wet cloth on his head. "Your body must be hurting pretty badly. Omata-sama told me everything about the 'sword of the wind'." Himeno pointed to the old judge who was standing at the doorway. "I never knew that such an attack existed."
"Remind me to never use it again," Hayate grumbled, realizing he was in the sick room. "I don't know if I can move any part of my body." He tried to raise his right hand and failed.
"Take it easy, Hayate," Omata-sama said as he walked over to the bedded young man. "Was it your first time using it?"
"Yeah, there was no one else to practice it with so I thought I'd try it out with Kei...for the first time," Hayate grumbled some more. Oh God, I'm in so much pain. Hayate winced as he became more aware of the state he was in. "How long was I unconscious?"
"About four hours. It's evening time now. A little past 7." The old man smiled at Hayate. "You can rest in this room for tonight. This is my dojo. I have prepared dinner for you both so don't worry about food." Before leaving, he said one more thing. "I am very impressed with your sword skills and I have an offer for you. We can talk about it after dinner, Hayate."
No was Hayate's answer. He rejected the offer.
"I am willing to offer you full everything. You'll be on a full scholarship plus more. Say you'll attend my martials high school up in Hiroshima. I want to have you as a student. You could learn more techniques and I will personally teach you how to master the 'sword of the wind'." Omata-sensei pleaded with Hayate. "I'll cover all expenses to get you there and you will be given special privileges. You have so much potential as a swordsman. All you need is the right guidance. Come to my school and the ancient ways of kendo will be revealed to you. Please, Hayate-san. Please attend my school in the new term." Omata-sama refused to give up and handed him a card with full contact information. "I've even talked with Ouka-sensei and he says it's a great opportunity for someone of your caliber"
"I'll think about it," Hayate replied monotonously. "Good night, sir."
Himeno spoke out right after the old man left. "Are you serious? You'll think about it?" Himeno's heart pounded in fear. It's not fair. I don't want it to end like this. "But you said no earlier on. You're not going to Hiroshima, are you?" Himeno eyes filled with tears. "And leave me behind?"
Hayate regained some control over his body and managed to lift a hand up to wipe away a rolling tear. "I just said that to make him go away. I don't want to move. My home isn't in Hiroshima." It's with you, Himeno. "My final answer is no. I'm not going to leave you behind." The rare smile came out and he said softly, "You're my best friend. And there's no way I ever want to leave your side." His eyes softened up. "I don't want to," he whispered.
Himeno found herself staring right into those deep blue eyes, like she was drowning in his sea of concealed emotions. Her heart was beating rapidly. "Ah, I called our parents and told us about the whole thing. My dad will be here soon with the van. You can lie in the back seat. And Ouka-sensei took all our equipment back for us. We can get it back next practice," announced Himeno nervously. She wiped her crying face with her sleeve. She found Hayate still looking intensely at her, with a sense of longing. Hayate...I... Himeno fidgeted in her seat on the floor. I can't...I have Sasame already.
"What are your feelings about me leaving?" Hayate asked. He needed to know how she felt if he left her, if he wasn't by her side anymore. "What if I said yes, Himeno? What would you do?" He inched himself closer, ignoring the pain in his back.
"I'd be sad of course." Really sad. "I won't be able to hang out and laugh with you, even though you don't laugh very much." I won't be able to see you smile. "I wouldn't go to kendo anymore if you aren't there." I don't want anyone else to train me. I only want you. Himeno unintentionally poured out her emotions. The thought of losing Hayate was too painful to bear. "I wouldn't be happy anymore. If Hayate isn't by my side, I won't feel safe. If you left, I'd cry." I probably won't stop crying. Himeno's tears started to flow again. I don't want to lose you, Hayate. I don't ever want you to leave my side. "I don't ever want you to leave my side."
Hayate heart was breaking. He couldn't stand the sight of Himeno crying. He didn't mean to make her cry. He didn't mean to cause her pain and sorrow. He just wanted to know if she would miss him and the answer was painstakingly obvious. But she doesn't love me...even so I'll stay by her side. I don't want to see her cry because of me. I don't want to be the source of her tears.
"I won't leave. I promise." Hayate patted her on the head gently. "Plus there's no way I'd go over there. He's probably an old perverted geezer with too much money to give out," Hayate whispered, just in case he came in. "I don't need any of that stuff. I don't care about being the best in kendo. It's just a hobby, not my life's ambition." Hayate shifted closer to Himeno, with his face almost touching hers. "And besides, I wouldn't smile if you're not around."
Himeno felt his breath touch her lips. He was so close. Himeno wanted to shut her eyes and lean in towards him. She wanted to kiss her best friend right there and then. Hayate... Himeno closed her eyes and gave into the moment.
Hayate turned his head around before anything happened. The last thing he wanted was to act like a total jerk and hurt his brother, as well as Himeno. Things were complicated as they were and he didn't need to make it anymore messier. As much as he longed to touch her lips once more, his mind stopped him before he did something he regretted.
"I bet Sasame is really worried about you coming back so late. We should get ready when your dad gets here." Hayate somehow managed to get up on his two feet.
Himeno stayed on the ground, her mind in a total daze of what had almost happened. Sasame. I'm so sorry. I'm such a horrible person. I almost kissed your brother. I almost kissed Hayate. I love Sasame, not Hayate. I don't love Hayate. I don't have any feelings for Hayate. The one I want to be with is not Hayate. Himeno bit her lips. But I want Hayate to stay by my side. Hayate's voice crashed her thoughts.
"You coming?" Hayate was already at the foot of the room's door. "I think your dad just arrived." !#$ My body's hurting like hell. He fell to the ground, clutching his arm in agony.
"Hayate!" Himeno ran to his side. "If you can't move, then don't."
"Himeno! Hayate!" Mr. Awayuki ran to help them.
"How is Hayate?"
The first thing Sasame heard from Himeno since she came back was that.
"Is he alright now?"
Her eyes were full of concern for his brother.
"He'll be in bed for the next couple of days," Sasame replied. He was hoping for Himeno to ask him about his competition.
Himeno spirit was saddened by the fact that Hayate was not going to be at school with them. It would be just her and Sasame at lunchtime. "Is he going to be fine? He was is poor shape after the competition." Hayate... A guilty memory resurfaced-the almost kiss with Hayate. "So, did you win, Sasame?"
He smiled at her, ever so beautifully. "Yep, we won again this year. And my song turned out great except it almost created a flood of tears." He held her hand. "I was thinking of you the whole time. I missed you, Himeno." He tried to steal a kiss.
Himeno had turned her head to the side and a pair of lips hit her cheeks instead. "Me too," replied Himeno, with a guilty conscience. "Me too." She gave Sasame a light peck on the cheeks in return. If you kissed me, I would have been thinking about Hayate and that wouldn't be fair to you. I'm really sorry Sasame. The two of them arrived to class on time.
"Hey tulip, what's up?" Hayate asked sarcastically. "Not me. I'll be down for the next few days. Wanna keep me company?" Hayate tried to amuse himself. Spring was almost over and summer exams were around the corner. After that and summer vacation would start. "Guess what, tulip. Himeno almost kissed me and I pulled away. Am I an idiot or what?" Hayate rolled around a bit, his body on fire. His mom found some rubbing ointment in the house that was great for sore muscles. Hayate knew how they worked so well, it was more or less heat therapy. As long as they were fixing him up, Hayate didn't care what he put on or have to eat. "I almost had my first official kiss with her, tulip. Almost," he mumbled to the plant. "But it wouldn't have been special. It would have been a mistake." Hayate popped another pain reliever in his mouth and washed it down with plenty of water. "No point in letting her kiss me when she doesn't love me. I'd rather have my one-sided kisses than that." Hayate felt sorrow descend upon him. "You wanna know something, tulip? I hate myself. I hate myself for giving her over to Sasame without trying harder. I'm such a loser for giving her up. I gave up Himeno. So much for the regional kendo champion, tulip. I can't win where it really counts in life." Hayate continued his depressing conversation. "I'm such a loser. I should just forget everything and move on, shouldn't I?" Hayate inquired the silent flower. "I'll let you in on a little secret. I won't give you any details and you better stay quiet about it." Hayate squirmed in his bed until he faced the flower. "I think I'm going to accept. I'll leave at the end of the year. I want to have one more Christmas at home before I leave for Hiroshima." Hayate gingerly played with the petals. "Don't worry, I won't leave you behind. I'll take you with me. I won't leave my little buddy behind." Hayate looked up into the clear blue sky. Sorry Himeno, I won't be able to keep my promise. But it's okay. Sasame is a good choice. Hayate let one single tear roll down his cheek. Sorry Himeno, but I'm going to make you cry one last time at the end of this year. I'm going to leave. You'll get over it, I'm sure you will. You won't miss me at all. You'll forget about me...
Author's Words: Err, this was an extremely long chapter. I wrote this in segments over the course of 5 days and I'm tired. As the story stands, there is still much more to show. I figure I'd skip the summer chapter because it was going to be filled with nothing but spending quality time and I couldn't think of a storyline to go with it so I'm leaving that out (one less chapt to write ). Some clarifications for readers. Sasame truly does love Himeno, but it's quite different from the way Hayate does. I can't actually tell you who Himeno loves. A girl's heart is indeed a confusing thing. And there have been times when I wished I were a guy (thank goodness I'M NOT or else this fanfiction would have never existed and I would have never come to love Prétear the way I do now). Hmm, I feel sorry for both guys, but I'm pretty sure most readers will know which one I'm cheering for. Just wait. ALL TRUTHS WILL BE REVEALED IN THE LAST CHAPTER. (I'm so damn eager to write the Christmas chapter).
