CHAPTER 47
A PROPOSAL
The Magicians´ Guild of Kyralia seemed to be completely deserted at first sight. There weren´t any novices hurrying to their classes nor any magicians strolling through the gardens discussing their latest projects. The Library lay still and silent, not even a single breath could be heard inside.
In contrast the Guildhall was buzzing with hundreds of excited voices. Every last magician and novice had come there to witness something that hadn´t happened in the Guild´s history before.
The reelection of a former High Lord.
And this wasn´t just any former High Lord. Lord Akkarin was one of the two Black Magicians of the Guild. He was an outlawed exile and – he was dead as far as most of the magicians knew.
The news had spread like wildfire when the Higher Magicians had made their summons official the day before. 'The King and The Higher Magicians of the Magicians´ Guild of Kyralia have summoned Akkarin of family Delvon, of House Velan, to face the vote of the Guild and be raised to the post of High Lord should the vote be in his favour.'
This declaration alone had hit the Guild like a tornado. Nothing, however, had prepared them for the candidate´s election speech. Seeing the excited faces all around Lord Osen had to admit grudgingly that Akkarin had outdone himself in this.
Akkarin had chosen to appear without robes. He had faced the assembled Guild wearing rich but simple clothes in the colours of his House, gold and blue. Both coulours had accentuated the golden tan he had acquired in the Sachakan wasteland. His long, dark hair had been well groomed and held back with a dark, blue leather band. The former High Lord had even worn his signil ring on the little finger of his right hand.
He had been every inch as imposing as his old self. One thing, however, had changed about him. Where before he had been reserved and aloof his voice had been full of passion now. His dark stare had fixed them all with an intensity that had captured their attention easily.
Osen smiled inwardly. Even he had found himself hanging on Akkarin´s every word, in spite of the fact that he knew the main facts of what the Black Magician had told the Guild.
Akkarin had spoken about his past again, had told the Guild magicians how he regretted having been forced to hide his knowledge, but that he was proud of their decision to ban him. This, Akkarin had said, showed that the hearts of the magicians of Kyralia were not easily corrupted even in the face of danger. Osen snorted when he remembered how many magicians´ faces had lit up at that praise from the very man they had sent into exile.
Now, however, Akkarin had continued, had he come back to them hiding nothing. 'This time I leave the decision in your hands. I´ll tell you what I have to offer to you and will await your vote knowing that you will make the right decision.'
Then he had explained how he had survived and what his plans were for the Guild´s future. A complete silence had greeted his revelations. Then murmurs, excited whispers and exclamations of disbelief had filled the hall until a gesture from Akkarin had silenced them all.
'I stand here before you, not as a magician, but as what would have become of me if I had never entered the Guild. It is for you to decide whether you want me to return to you. I will only accept back my robes if I have regained your trust.'
And with that the former High Lord had bowed to them and had stridden out of the hall.
Afterwards the King had spoken about his wishes for Akkarin´s election. The Higher Magicians had explained their summons. After that the election ritual had started.
The High Lord´s election took over two hours in general. To honour the post a unanimous vote was necessary. If the King and the Higher Magicians voted unanimously, which they had, the following vote of the Guild members was for ritual´s sake only. In accordance with the ceremony a prescribed number of magicians voted with no. Then a general discussion of the candidate´s character and qualities followed. The next round would show that some of the magicians had been swayed, however, some globes would remain red. This ritual was repeated until all globes were white.
This ceremony ensured that all Guild members had a strong understanding of why the candidate had been chosen. The repeated discussions showed off his best traits and abilities.
The Administrator returned his attention to the counting of the globes. 'Majority in favour of the candidate. Ten globes remain red', he announced. When discussion began anew Osen sat down and thought about the other man again.
Akkarin had known that he had the King´s support and that of the Higher Magicians. Still he had decided to reveal his thoughts and plans to the assembled magicians. He had forced himself to relive and recount everything a second time. Osen thought he understood why.
Where before Akkarin had been treated with respect and even awe when he had still been High Lord people had begun to fear and hate him after his use of Black Magic had been made public. The last image a lot of the magicians had in their head was that of the exiled Black Magician who had the power to destroy them all.
Having told them his story a second time – this time emotionally involved and not distanced, at all – had made him much more vulnerable and human in their eyes. Wearing the clothes of his House had reminded them that he was Kyralian and one of them. Only then had he told them about his solutions.
He had made them see the romantic hero rather than the mysterious might-be-bad guy. Osen chuckled at that thought. Well, maybe working with Akkarin wouldn´t be as bad as he had thought. He would certainly be able to learn a lot about the game of politics from that man.
The Administrator sighed and joined the discussion again. The election would be over soon.
Akkarin was sitting at a table in the Day Room. Two Warriors stood at the door watching him.
He wasn´t allowed to leave the room until the election had been finished, as was customary for each candidate for the post of High Lord. The two red-robed magicians had escorted him to the Day Room after he had finished his speech. Neither had spoken to him since then. The candidate was to be given time to contemplate. He was meant to focus on his new post and his plans for the Guild´s future.
Akkarin didn´t need to do either of these things. So he instead remembered how he had felt the first time he had sat in this very chair. He had been reliefed to be given a task to draw his mind away from his past then. He had embraced the post as an opportunity to forget.
This time the complete opposite was true. It felt good to sit waiting for the vote knowing that he didn´t have a dark secret to hide. His heart began to pound with a warm feeling. Well, maybe he had one little secret left, but he didn´t think that one qualified as dark. He wasn´t sure of how the King would react to his conditions from category three, but he felt giddy at the mere thought of what he was about to ask of the ruler.
To the slight irritation of his two companions he started humming to himself. Seeing their reaction he enjoyed himself even more.
Sonea had quickly regained strength. They had arrived the day before after having ridden the whole day through. They had brought her back to her old room in Rothen´s apartment. She hadn´t woken up yet, but he was sure that she would be fully recovered soon.
The University Gong was sounded ten times. The table underneath his hands vibrated with each echo. Akkarin straightened and faced the door. The election was over.
Sonea awoke to the sound of the University gong. Hesitatingly her mind set to work. I am back, I am alive, I am in my bed. Still, something was different. She had the feeling that something very important had happened and that this had been something good, but she just couldn´t remember. It just felt different. The gong echoed through the Guild several times. Sonea had never heard it being sounded that often. What had happened?
She climbed out of the bed and moved over to the table with a bowl of water. She splashed her face and tried to remember what had happened. She knew she had killed Iniko and that she hadn´t been able to draw his power. About what had happened after she had pulled the mattress down upon herself she had no idea – only the nagging feeling that there had been something she should be able to remember. Something of vital importance.
She shrugged out of her nightdress and examined herself. The streaks and cuts had been healed. Blue and green marks remained, but she was feeling fully restored. She sighed. It was time to face Rothen and the others. She would not run away a second time. She would accept her role as Black Magician and help as good as possible.
She washed herself and changed into her undergarments, black robes and boots. Then she steeled herself and entered Rothen´s living room.
The confrontation she had feared didn´t take place, however. The person standing next to the window turned and smiled broadly.
'Lady Sonea, how good to see you up and about again.' Tania came towards her and hugged her once.
'Tania, good to see you, too', Sonea said thankfully.
She looked out of the window. The whole Guild seemed to be deserted. 'Where is everybody?'
Tania hesitated and looked at her uncertainly. 'My Lady, I am not sure…'
'Tania, tell me.' Sonea laid a hand on the servant´s arm.
The older woman sighed and said. 'They are at the election of the High Lord.'
'What?'
'The gong indiciated, that the High Lord has been elected. They will tell him in the Day Room now.'
Cold anger rushed through her. Akkarin had died only two weeks ago and already they were replacing him as if he hadn´t sacrificed himself for them?
Sonea felt blood rise in her face. She growled and ran out of the room.
'My Lady –'
The servant´s voice faded behind her.
When the King and the Higher Magicians entered the Day Room Akkarin rose from his chair and faced them. His expression was serious and composed.
Rothen felt torn between being satisfied with having made the right decision concerning Akkarin and dreading what his reelection would mean for Sonea. He was certain that these two had thought that they would never return to the Guild when they had started their relationship. Now, that Sonea´s former guardian was to become High Lord again, he couldn´t see a way that they would be able to stay together without causing a major scandal that would ruin everything Akkarin had fought for in the last few days.
Rothen sighed. Akkarin hadn´t told them his conditions concerning Sonea yet, but surely he didn´t mean to continue as her guardian?
'Akkarin of Kyralia, you have been elected as High Lord. If you accept the Guild´s vote you will be raised to this post by word of the King.'
Rothen watched the Black Magician closely as Lord Osen intoned the ritual words. He looked calm and in control. The King moved towards him. On his right arm hang a set of black robes. The incal of the High Lord shone in the sun coming through one of the many windows.
The Higher Magicians formed a semi-circle with Akkarin and King Merin in the middle. 'Lord Akkarin, do you accept our choice?' The King spoke firmly and held out the robes to the other man.
Akkarin made no move to take the robes. The King´s eyebrows rose. Akkarin bowed to the King. 'Sire, as you may remember I had a third category of conditions for accepting the post of High Lord.'
'Yes, yes', King Merin said impatiently. 'Something about your novice.'
The Black Magician nodded and stared back at the King. The latter sighed and made a hand sign to indicate that all magicians should settle down at the table.
Akkarin sat down at the head of the table. 'As far as I have understood Rothen´s explanation Sonea has been appointed the role of Black Magician of the Guild of Kyralia?'
'That´s true. As we have told you before she will be allowed to graduate partly as Healer.' Balkan answered.
'I want her to be allowed to finish her education in all disciplines. Now that I am back she doesn´t need to teach you. I understand the difficulty of putting her back in class, however.'
Lady Vinara agreed. 'Exactly, take Warrior Skills for example. It will be strange for the other novices to fight her after it has become common knowledge that she is a Black Magician. And since we have agreed that the storing of power will be taught to graduates only she will be much stronger than the average novice.'
'Which she was even before I have taught her, but I do agree, Vinara. I suggest that she will continue to have extra lessons in Warrior Skills, but is allowed to join the other classes.'
The Higher Magicians discussed this. 'I think we can agree to this, Akkarin', Lord Jerrik said.
'Anything more?' the King asked.
'Yes, one other condition and one question for you, Rothen.' Rothen inhaled deeply and wondered what it could be that Akkarin wanted from him. 'What is it you want from me then?'
'I want you to take over Sonea´s guardianship again.'
The magicians exchanged glances. That was something they hadn´t anticipated. Was Akkarin trying to get rid of her? He had only taken on her guardianship to make her his hostage in the first place, but hadn´t she helped him in the end?
Rothen thought along the same lines and wasn´t certain of how to react to that. Akkarin smiled and said, 'Please, Rothen, take your time to answer. I will tell you my last condition and after that you may decide.'
The tall man turned towards the King, a small smile still playing around his lips. 'Sire, as you might know it has been customary for centuries that magicians who wanted to marry another magician had to ask permisson of the High Lord in order to do so. As I have found out during my research that is an old tradition that remained from the time after Higher Magic had been banned. This custom was set up in order to control the magical strength in certain blood lines. We continued with this without knowing why it had been set up in the first place. Up til now, however, it didn´t come to your attention, because there is only one situation in which this custom concerns the King.'
Rothen felt his heart pounding rapidly in his chest. He stared at Akkarin unbelievingly. No, that couldn´t be, he certainly wouldn´t – or would he?
'This is, if one of the two magicians is the High Lord.'
Astounded silence thick with anticipation filled the room. Lady Vinara started to grin. Lord Balkan´s mouth hang open and Lord Peakin coughed meaningfully. King Merin stared at Akkarin, comprehension dawning on his face.
Akkarin seemed to enjoy himself hugely. 'My last condition, Sire, is that you give me permission to marry Sonea.'
All eyes turned to the King. His features were blank at first. Then he blinked, regarded Akkarin closely and shook his head. 'My friend, you never cease to amaze me. You´re certain?'
'Yes, Your Majesty.'
King Merin grinned and threw the black robes at the other man. 'Then get into those before I change my mind.'
'I knew it, I knew it!'
Lady Vinara sprang up from her chair. 'Congratulations.'
'Who would have thought…the slum girl.'
'Akkarin and Sonea? Well, that will make quite a buzz.'
Akkarin shrugged into the robes and sat down again. 'I do accept the post of High Lord.' The others, except the King, rose and bowed as was custom.
'To the new High Lord', Administrator Osen said.
'To the new High Lord', the others echoed.
At that moment the door flew open and Sonea stormed into the room, her face flushed, her eyes glittering dangerously. All of the room´s occupants turned to her surprised.
'So it´s true.' Sonea´s voice was thick with barely controlled anger.
'Sonea.' Rothen moved towards her. 'Let me explain, this is –'
'Don't.' she screamed. 'I don´t want to hear your excuses. He has been dead only two weeks and you cannot even wait for the decent mourning period.'
'Sonea', Rothen tried to grab her arm but she twisted it away.
'I came back and killed that Ichani for you. I came back feeling guilty because I wasn´t strong enough to fight for you at first. And now I see how you treat the memory of those who have sacrificed themselves for you.'
'Sonea', Lady Vinara interrupted.
'He deserves better', Sonea shouted. 'Why do I even bother telling you?' She stared at the magicians. Her gaze wavered when she saw that the King was present, too. She straightened and took a deep breath. 'I apologise for shouting at you, Sire, my Lords and Ladies. But I do not take back what I have said.'
The King fixed her with his green eyes. 'Sonea, I owe you my life. And I know that you are in a difficult situation, therefore I will forgive your outburst. But I will not accept such behaviour from you again.'
Sonea nodded and the King´s expression softened. 'I think the High Lord will be able to explain this to you better than we can.'
The standing magicians parted and she could see the black-robed man sitting at the head of the table. He was looking at her, his expression unfathomable. The familiarity of his features and the unlikely conclusion that he was still alive squeezed all air from her lungs. She uttered a strangled noise and backed away.
'No, this is not possible, this is not possible…' she repeated several times. The room seemed to tilt under her. This is a trick, he can´t be alive, he would have come for me, he would have told me…why are they doing this to me? All I have to do is – she searched out his presence amongst the others. Waves of shock rippled through her, but she couldn´t deny what she sensed – it was him, no doubt.
Still she couldn´t make herself believe it. She cautiously approached the man and reluctantly reached out with one hand. It was shaking violently, but she didn´t care.
'Akkarin?' she whispered.
She touched him lightly on the shoulder, afraid that he might be an illusion after all and vanish at her touch. Her heart leaped when he smiled up at her uncertainly. 'Sonea', he whispered for her ears alone, his eyes full of conflicting emotions.
Her legs wouldn´t support her anymore. She sank to her knees in front of him. She extended her hand once again. This time she pressed it to his chest. She could feel his heartbeat, strong and steady. She couldn´t stop herself from laughing and sobbing at the same time.
He´s alive, he´s truly alive. Oh, Akkarin. Then doubt hit her. Why didn´t he tell me he was alive? Why didn´t he come for me? He must have known I would be devastated and he said he loved me…
Then her gaze dropped to his sleeve and a cold shiver ran over her skin when she saw the incal of the High Lord sewn to it. Her eyes snapped to Akkarin´s as she grabbed the sleeve to have a closer look. 'What…what does that mean?'
Her hands were clawed into the black material. The High Lord gently prised it free of her murderous grip and took her hand into his own. His face expressed sympathy and something else, something –. Sonea flinched at this warm, direct touch, but even more at what she saw in his face. Why does he look at me like that? Shouldn´t he be happy to see me alive, shouldn´t his eyes be full of love? And why is he wearing his old robes? Shouldn´t the other magicians object to this?
'Lord Akkarin has been reelected as High Lord today.' Balkan said into the momentary silence.
Suddenly the meaning of what the King had said sank in. And suddenly she understood why he was looking at her like this. Suddenly she understood why he hadn´t come for her or told her he was alive. Sonea snatched her hand away and stood up.
She stared at Akkarin challengingly. 'And you accepted?'
'I did', the High Lord said.
'I see', Sonea replied icily. Then she bowed to him formally. 'Congratulations, High Lord. I apologise for intruding on your celebration. Good day.'
She spun around and left the room. As soon as she was out of the room tears came to her eyes again.
He has thrown me away easily, when he didn´t need me anymore. How could he do this to me? I hate him. I hate him! That he dare pity me! This bastard!
She didn´t think about where she was going. She ran through the building, passing corridors, stumbling down stairs. On and on she ran until finally she stood on the path to the High Lord´s residence. It seemed old habits had led her there.
'Sonea.'
Akkarin had followed her. He was coming towards her. She couldn´t flee from him. Neither did she want to face him where all could see. She ran to the door of the residence and slipped through. She threw herself in one of the luxurious chairs and tried to stop sobbing.
Then she heard the door open and close a second time. He came towards her and kneeled in front of her. She closed her eyes refusing to look at him. It didn´t help. She could smell his familiar scent. She could hear him breathing. She felt his presence and she still loved him with all her heart.
Oh, please, it does hurt so. Go away, please. Go away.
She felt his warm hand encircle hers. The pain became unbearable. Her eyes snapped open and she pushed his hand away.
'Don´t touch me', she hissed.
Hurt stood in his beautiful eyes. Hurt and anger.
'What nonsense is this?' he asked her.
'Nothing that would concern you, my Lord' she snapped.
'Stop calling me that, Sonea. Why did you run away like this?'
'I didn´t want to incommode you, my Lord. You were having such a nice little celebration. I really would not have wanted to inconvenience you with my presence, my Lord.'
'Stop calling me that, Sonea.'
There was a definite edge to his voice now. She was annoying him, was she? Good.
'Oh, I apologise. It must be High Lord again, musn´t it?'
Akkarin pushed himself up from the ground. His fists were clenched at his sides. He was shaking with fury.
Sonea´s next words dripped with sarcasm. 'Oh, but I do forget my manners, how very impolite. I am glad to see you´re alive, High Lord. Better to get to know about it now than never, wouldn´t you say?'
Akkarin winced visibly. 'Stop this. Let me explain.'
'Explain? No, I´m not interested in your lies anymore.'
Sonea stood up and moved to the door. Akkarin blocked her way out. The two black-robed magicians stood facing each other.
'Let me through – High Lord', she spat.
'Stop calling me that.'
'I won´t repeat that, my Lord.' Sonea snarled.
'I will not let you leave until you hear me out.'
Sonea glared at him. Why didn´t he see that she needed to leave. He was hurting her more than she could bear with that feigned friendliness. Best dump her and be done with it. She felt cornered and suddenly all of the pain turned into anger.
Without thinking she sent a powerful forcestrike at him. Akkarin threw up a shield at the last moment. His eyes narrowed and he didn´t hold back his own anger any longer.
'Sonea, stop behaving like a crackbrained proletarian.' he shouted.
'Ah, so that´s it, I simply wasn´t good enough for you? Considering my origins what would people have thought of you? Poor Akkarin.'
Sonea didn´t cease to attack him with strike after strike, tears of hurt and fury were running down her cheeks. Akkarin only deflected her strikes, but didn´t strike back.
'Sonea, why are you so angry?'
She laughed humourlessly. A volley of heatsrikes rained down upon him.
'Angry me? Why would I be? You have every right to dump me whenever you want to. You being a noble and all and me being just a slum girl.'
The High Lord looked at her openmouthed. 'What? Dump you? Sonea, what are you talking about?'
That was too much. Did he think her to be a fool? Did he think she didn´t know that they wouldn´t be able to be together now that he had become High Lord again? And then it hit her. Of course, he hadn´t meant to make their relationship official. He would have remained her guardian, she would have slept in the same house with him. Noone would have realised that she was more then his novice.
'I am not a whore!' she screamed.
Akkarin was so shocked by her last outburst that he let his shield fall. At that moment Sonea´s last forcestrike hit him and threw him against the wall.
'Ow.' The High Lord remained lying on the ground, dazed.
Sonea hurried over. 'I am sorry, I…are you hurt?'
Akkarin pushed himself up and stared at her. She looked at his face and felt shame redden hers. Had she been mistaken? She started trembling and tears came to her eyes again. Akkarin simply pulled her towards him and kissed her.
Something inside her loosened. Her emotions seemed to overwhelm her. Between her sobs she kissed him back, tasting his lips and the salt of her tears. Again and again she sought his lips with hers. Of all the anger and the hurt only one thought remained. He is alive, he really is alive…and he still wants to kiss me…he…
Interrupting another deep kiss in order to breath she decided that if he couldn´t bring himself to be with her publicly she would have to put up with this. She knew that this was wrong, but she loved him more than anything else and if she could only have this secret part of him it was still better than nothing.
After some minutes they drew back, staring at each other. The High Lord cupped her face in his hands.
'Sonea, explain to me what I have done to hurt you so.' His eyes were full of uncertainty. She had never seen him so vulnerable before.
'I…I thought that you …'
'Yes?'
'I thought, that you wanted to tell me that you weren´t interested in me anymore.'
'You said so, but why would you think something foolish like that?'
'You accepted back your post and you didn´t tell me you were alive!'
Finally Akkarin seemed to understand. He laughed silently and shook his head. 'I see, so when you saw that I had accepted, you thought that meant that I had chosen my Guild career over our relationship?'
Sonea looked down and shrugged.
'You know I couldn´t contact you without Iniko noticing, don´t you? I guess that our blood gems have been taken away from you?' Sonea nodded. 'You really are a stupid girl', he teased cautiously. She didn´t laugh.
'But how do you think this is going to work? You know perfectly well that we cannot be together like that. I am a novice – or something like that. And you are the High Lord. You have been – are – my guardian?'
'I know.'
'I…I am not sure whether I can bear to keep our relationship a secret.'
Akkarin´s eyes widened. 'Do you imply that you considered staying as my novice and hushing it all up, but continue in secret?'
Sonea blushed furiously, but nodded. Akkarin seemed to be torn between an urge to laugh and outrage. 'You naughty girl, what have I done to your sense of honour', he whispered finally, amused.
He chuckled, drew her nearer and gave her another lingering kiss. 'I cannot deny that your suggestion would have a certain romantic and melodramatic side to it, but I thought of something simpler.'
Sonea smiled up at him uncertainly. 'Like what?'
'Well, first of all, I thought you would like to have Rothen back as your guardian.'
'Rothen? I…he…'
'He accepted.'
'But then how –'
'– are we to be together?' Akkarin finished the sentence for her. She nodded.
The High Lord stood up and offered his hand. When they stood facing each other he pulled off a ring from his little finger. Akkarin regarded her closely. Sonea felt her knees weaken under that gaze.
'Sonea?'
'Yes?'
He hesitated for another second then his lips curled up into the half-smile she loved so much.
'Will you marry me?'
He put the ring into her small hand and drew back again. Sonea opened and closed her mouth several times. Her voice failed her completely. She knew she must look like a fish. Akkarin grinned. She could see that his body was vibrating. That helped her find her voice again.
'Stop laughing, you idiot. This is your fault, after all.'
Akkarin sobered and drew her close. 'I take it that means yes?' he said his eyes sparkling with mirth.
'Yes.'
However, when he bent down to kiss her she drew back. Suddenly something had hit her.
He doesn´t know. He doesn´t know about Iniko.
She moaned and took a few steps back. Akkarin looked at her concerned. 'Sonea, what is it?'
Her face had gone white. She gazed at him and said in a small voice, 'Yes, but only if you can forgive me.'
'Forgive you? What for?'
Sonea flinched and Akkarin´s expression turned to real dismay. 'Sonea, what have you done?' he breathed.
She started pacing, uncertain how to begin. How could she tell him? She knew that she hadn´t had another choice, but still she felt like having betrayed him. A rational part of her mind started scolding herself for that stupidity. She had only kissed Iniko, she had only let him touch her to be able to kill him. Surely Akkarin couldn´t blame her for this? The stronger part, however, was a nagging feeling of fear. What if he didn´t forgive her for it? What if he thought there would have been another way?
Why did I tell him, I´m so stupid – fool!
Akkarin stopped her and steered her back to one of the chairs. Then he drew up another chair and sat down opposite of her. 'Tell me.'
Sonea sighed. He had the right to know everything about it. 'All right, but I cannot tell you, I will have to show you.'
'You want me to read you?'
'Yes, but it will not be pleasant.'
'I didn´t think so.'
Akkarin reached out and put his hands to her temples. Sonea closed her eyes and waited. Within a second she could feel his presence in her own mind. He had chosen to appear in a more tangible form than during the first time he had searched her mind. Sonea smiled inwardly. This time, he had been invited, so that was only good manners. She felt a fleeting amusement at this. Then Akkarin sobered again.
—So, what did you want to show me?
—This is about Iniko. Remember how you told me to know my enemy?
—Yes.
—I found it hard to analyse him.
—He certainly was a challenge. But it seems you figured him out. You used Healing again, so you must have been able to make him touch you.
Sonea winced and without willing it to come an image of Iniko stroking her face swam to the forefront of her mind. Akkarin caught the memory and strengthened it, but Sonea tried to withdraw.
—No, not this.
—Why not? She detected an annoyed anticipation behind the question.
—I am sorry, I didn´t mean to begin with this. Sonea sighed. You will have to help me. Lead me.
Akkarin let the memory vanish and focused on her mind voice again.
—Allright. What did you want to show me first?
Immediately she saw herself crawling towards the farm. Akkarin´s presence took hold of the memory and steadied it. From that point on neither of them spared the other. Mercilessly she called up memory after memory and with the same ruthless determination did he lead her through them.
Where she had felt controlled anger at the first scene where Iniko had threatened her with the knife it changed to shocked dissapproval and then righteous fury when Akkarin saw Iniko approach and then threaten Lia.
A rush of pride and protectiveness followed when she began to try to lure the Ichani away from the little girl. The High Lord´s hands tightened on her temples when the first blow hit her, but his presence kept the memory steady forcing her to go on. He sought out her feelings and thoughts about Iniko. She felt a grim agreement with her analysis.
She nearly broke the contact when the scene shifted to her begging to Iniko. Hot shame and seering hate rushed through her.
The she saw herself walk towards the table and kneel down. Her mind shouted the conclusion she had drawn about her enemy. It shouted what she was about to do.
Akkarin´s hands began to tremble and for a second he lost his grip on the memory. Quickly Sonea pushed his presence back into the room of her mind and closed the door behind which the memory had been hidden.
—You don´t have to do this, she told him.
A cold resignation swept over her, combined with something she couldn´t name.
—Yes, I have to. Show me.
His voice had changed completely. It reminded her uncomfortably of the first time he had read her. It was cool and detached, completely under control. She shivered and hesitated. Panic enveloped her for a second when she felt his presence change into its former frightening form, too. He would be able to force her to show the memory to him if he wanted to now.
The fact that he was willing to resort to that decided her. He had to see it.
—Stop this. I´ll show you.
His presence changed back. He waited. Sonea concentrated and opened the door again. She didn´t hold back. She didn´t stop again. She let him take control over the memory.
His presence forced her through everything she had felt and thougt in these dreadful moments. Akkarin, however, had shut out his feelings. She didn´t get a hint of his true reactions. She felt completely exposed and vulnerable.
Once again she felt bile rise in her throat at the thought of having to kiss that monster, but once again she forced herself to do it anyway. And then she felt Iniko´s hand stroke her breast and her own hands encircle his arms. She kissed him again.
She killed him and drew his dagger. She stumbled and hid herself under the mattress. Then everything went black.
Akkarin´s presence was gone. Sonea panted, sweat trickling down her back. She didn´t dare to open her eyes at first. But then his hands fell away from her face and she looked at him. She immediately regretted it.
His dark eyes were burning furnaces. His expression was cold as stone. His whole body was tense. An animal growl rose in his throat. He pushed away from her, his hands trembling even harder.
Then he hurried to the door and turned to her. 'Wait for me here.' he croaked.
Then the door closed behind him. Sonea sank back into the chair, unable to react.
I have lost him…
Akkarin hurried down the path of his residence. He fled from an urge to kill stronger than anything he had ever experienced before.
Each spy he had faced had come to kill him and he had defended himself and Kyralia. He had killed the spies. He had killed them, but he hadn´t hated them. In a twisted way this hadn´t been personal.
Kariko had been different. The Ichani had hated him personally and had threatened what he valued most, his Guild and the safety of Kyralia. However, he had been able to prepare for their encounter for years.
Iniko had nearly succeeded in breaking Sonea and that was as close as anyone could come to breaking him.
Akkarin clenched his fists against the pain and hurried on. He didn´t look left or right. Two magicians sprang to the side as the black-robed man nearly bumped into them.
Finally he arrived at the Arena. He ran inside, locked the portal and made the sand rise round the structure, so that he was invisible from outside. Then he let his emotions envelop him.
Hate and rage pulsed through his veins like venom. All the frustration and fear and hate he had felt in these last weeks seemed to break out of him all at once. He had stayed in control and had forced himself to function, even at the moments he had seen his best friend die – Lorlen, he missed him terribly already – and his love being tortured.
With a roar he struck at the Arena. The structure vibrated with his savage attacks. Again and again he unleashed his immense strength. The structure began to glow with the force of his strikes.
All the fear and bitterness and sadness were channeled out of him through the brutal attacks on the walls. Mercilessly he forced himself to relive every single moment he had feared that he would be exposed, every single moment he had thought, that he wouldn´t be able to save Kyralia and that all his sacrifices had been for nothing, every single moment he had had to blackmail and hurt Lorlen, every single moment he had thought, that his love for Sonea would never be requited by her, because she had hated him.
Akkarin´s strikes slowly lost their force as the urge to smash his surroundings into pieces subsided. He continued until calm settled over him again and only one feeling remained.
Love.
Sonea was unable to move. It felt like an eternity until finally the door to the High Lord´s residence swung inward and Akkarin stepped inside. He frowned and the lock on the door snapped shut.
He looked flushed, but the tension had left his body and his expression was open again. Love and desire shot through her when he fixed her with an intense stare.
Akkarin walked determinedly towards her and lifted her into his arms. He didn´t say anything. He turned and carried her up the stairs to the left.
'What are you doing?'
He ignored her and walked to the end of the corridor. To his old bedroom, she realised. She met his eyes and the look on his face told her exactly what he was planning to do.
'Akkarin,' she protested half-heartedly.
The door to the High Lord´s bedroom swung inward and he carried her inside. He laid her down on the bed and lowered his body on top of hers. He kissed her roughly.
Then his face hovered two inches over her own.
'You want me to stop?' he breathed.
'No', she whispered truthfully, her body pulsing with the need for him.
'I didn´t think so.'
And with that he set about the task of renewing his lingering impression on her body.
