*Just a friendly disclaimer. I don't own right to Final Fantasy VII Compilation. Final Fantasy VII Compilation and the characters herein is/are the property of Square Enix Co., Ltd, and are not my intellectual property. There is no financial gain made from this nor will any be sought. This is for entertainment purposes only.
**Sorry for the wait everyone! I've been sick on an off for a month now and am getting used to being on day shift. Switching from a night owl to an early bird takes it out of you! Trying to get back into writing hopefully I won't have any more writers block for a while because I sure did miss this story!
CHAPTER 9: INNER DARKNESS
Aerith's cheeks flushed at his words; her eyelashes fluttered as if trying to clear away the thoughts racing through her head. She felt as if her heart was going to burst out of her chest, she drew in a sharp breath and smiled up at him regaining her composure. She drew her hand up to her forehead in a salute, clicked her boot heels together, and gave him a wink. "Aerith Gainsburough: best friend and companion to the very end, at your service Sir!"
A slight smile played across his lips as a soft chuckle escaped from behind them. "Thank you Aerith. I do have to warn you though," She raised an eye brow at him, her hand now on her hip. "It appears being my friend is a dangerous situation to put oneself in." he finished with a forlorn look on his face.
"Dangerous? How much danger or trouble could a cute little flower girl from the slums manage to get into?" she said smiling radiantly up at him, crossing her arms playfully. He cast his gaze upon their surroundings as if taking her seriously. Run down houses, scattered rubble, trash, there wasn't much beauty to be found, except for right in front of him. Aerith was beautiful, inside and out, and that's what worried him. All it would take was one ravenous man wandering the slums one night to ruin her; to take her innocence away and destroy her purity forever. An act of violence such as that would shatter her happy and bubbly outlook that is so alluring in such a dismal place.
And if they became closer, would he be the one to destroy that innocence and purity? Would his sinister past and inner darkness consume her radiant light? Was it he, himself, that caused his friends to perish? Was he a monster cursed to exist alone in this world? Was that his punishment for all his dark deeds? Was it his penance for all the atrocities he has committed? Vivid images that haunted his dreams, memories of his existence with SOILDER: bloodshed, gore, screams (of fear, of hate, of anguish), tears (of defeat, of solace, of fear, of pain), the numerous lives extinguished by his blade. Was he cursed to have everything taken away from him like he took away everything from his victims? Would the monster inside, the monster that secretly relished the carnage, escape and destroy Aerith? Would he inadvertently put her in harm's way like he had with Zack? Would he allow her to slip away into nothingness and be forgotten, like Genesis and Angeal?
He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, shoving away the thoughts that flooded his mind. He didn't know why but he felt, for the first time in possibly his entire life, the need of a companion. He needed another human being. They both felt a connection between one another. Perhaps she is meant to lead me from this darkness plaguing me… he thought looking into her exquisite eyes. I know the consequences of my actions; I could lose her the same way I've lost Angeal, Genesis, and Zack. Or perhaps I could lose myself if I don't allow her in.
He cast his eyes down, sighing as he did so, and took her hands in his. "Thank you, Little One. As much as I hate to admit it, I feel as if I need you." He glanced up at her, she tilted her head her eyes widening slightly. "What I mean is that, all my life I was pushed into malevolent darkness, and I think your pure soul, your light, will guide me out of it..." he said focusing his eyes on their hands, organizing his thoughts. "Aerith, I've done things, horrible things, that would drive a normal person mad." He sighed, hating the words coming out of this mouth but he had to tell her, he was compelled to. "I'm a murderer, I'm a monster bred to kill for Shinra. I feel as if I'm living a nightmare; that I cannot attain anything because when I do I'm meant to lose it all, like the companions of the ones I've killed… they have nothing left." He glanced up at her, then back down to her small hands gently clasped in his, he sighed "That is my penance for all the atrocities I've committed."
He watched her fingers pull from his grip and come up to his face. She turned his face towards hers, "The fact that you feel this way is enough for me to see that you are not a monster, Sephiroth. We've all done things in the past that we regret, sins that seem like we cannot atone for them, but trust me when I say that all can be forgiven, as long as you can forgive yourself." She said caressing his cheek with her soft fingertips. He closed his eyes savoring the warmth of her touch, and let her words sink in. Can I ever forgive myself for my actions? Yes, maybe, but for the part of me that delights in the bloodshed… No, that part of me is monstrous; if she knew even she could not forgive me of my sins.
