...

I am a girl. A woman. Female.

I feel like I need to make this fact known, that I am a girl, who has had metaphorical blue balls for an entire day now.

I swear to all freaking holy things, my nether regions have a fucking heartbeat and lets not even talk about the number of times I've had to 'help myself'-okay? Let's just-let's not go there.

This has never happened to me before. I am hot. I am great at giving orgasms, women love me. They do not, and I repeat do not leave my bed after I've put the goddamned moves on them.

And if they do- which they don't- I go out and find another woman because this is a freaking city and there's no lack of people who need to get laid.

So I don't understand why the hell I'm staring at my phone. Sending Lauren voice mail after voice mail, asking her, practically begging her, to talk to me.

I shit you not, I even wrote her a letter. Like I sat down and took a pen and paper and wrote her a letter. Because she's Lauren. She seems like the kind to appreciate that sort of thing. Then I recalled that I don't even know where the hell she lives so I can't mail it.

She is literally, driving me out of my mind. You know how people say 'I can't eat. I can't sleep.' And all that other mushy bullshit that we all know is a lie? Well, I haven't eaten in a day, and I can't sleep because my bed smells like her. My guest room is full of her stuff, and every time I so much as look at my couch, I remember her voice reading to me.

I have known her for less than a week, and she has already turned me into a romantic comedy.

She is literally ruining the entire fuck out of my life.

And I want it to stop. God, I want to go out, get a girl, bring her back here, and forget Lauren's existence. I don't even care if she ruins me with whatever Tamsin told her. She's already ruining me with her insane body and insane voice and...there I go again. Like I can't even spend a minute without thinking about her.

"What's up with you?" Kenzi asks as she slumps onto my sofa. It's been twenty seven hours, fourty three minutes and a few seconds since Lauren left my house and left me confused. Not that I'm counting or anything.

"What do you mean?" I ask as I put my phone away. I've checked to see if there're any messages from her about a thousand times today. And every time I don't see one, my heart falls and I am so very tempted to go out and just find someone. I haven't been laid in like three days now. Couple that with all the teasing that's been happening, and you'll understand why I'm so on edge.

"Well, you keep checking your phone like some demented idiot." She says reaching for the remote, "what's up. Psycho Lauren still on your case?"

"Don't call her that." I say without even thinking. It comes out harsh and defensive and judging by Kenzi's look, she's as surprised as I am.

"O-kay." She says as she switches off the TV and fully turns to look at me. "Is there something you want to talk to me about?"

"No." I shake my head a little too hard, squirming uncomfortably. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?" She asks with an arched brow that usually means she's going to prod until I give in.

"Of course I'm sure." I reach for the remote and put the TV back on. She takes it and turns it off. Told you she's not going to let this go.

And I wish she would because I have no idea what's going on between me and Lauren. I wish I could say I just find her unfairly hot and would like to feast on all that hotness, with my tongue. But that would be a lie. Because I kinda like the way she smells. And I like having her around me so much that I faked blindness for her. And not having her talk to me is driving me so insane, I'm writing fucking letters.

I don't want to be in a relationship with her. I do not like relationships. Not since that- that- you know what, I'm not going there. I just don't like them, and I don't want to be in one with Lauren, but don't want her away from me either.

And I don't know how to explain that to Kenzi because the last time she and I talked about Lauren, I wanted to drive the blonde out of my life.

"Bo-"

"You know what," I cut her off, getting up from the couch, "I'm beat. It's been a long day and I'm sleepy as hell. So-good night." I kiss her forehead and hastily try to leave the room but she grabs my hand.

"Ah-ah, something's up with you, Bo-Bo and we're going to talk about it. Tonight. Is it Lauren?"

"No. No it's not. Why would it be Lauren? Why would you even think it's Lauren? It's not Lauren. It's not." I'm panting by the time I'm done.

Kenzi just crosses her arms and looks at me,"mmhmm."

"It's not. Seriously."

"Okay. Let's go to bed." She says grabbing my hand.

"You hate sleeping in my bed."

"Yeah but tonight we-" before she can finish, there's a knock on my door. I've never been so glad to have unexpected guests before.

"I should get that." I'm already moving towards the door even as I say this.

I don't know who I'm expecting. Seriously. I don't do friends or whatever. And I haven't ordered anything. And Lauren still isn't talking to me. So I'm really blank when I open the door.

Only to find a really nervous looking Lauren on the other end.

Her hair is in this really confused ponytail. Like it's not very sure if it wants to be up, or down. She's wearing a finding nemo, oversized shirt, white sweat pants and a black hoodie. Her hands keep playing with her keys and her weight shifts from one foot to another at odd intervals.

I don't know how to explain what seeing her standing here does to me.

It's like- oh god- how do I put this in words. It's like relief, and surprise and excitement all rolled into one. And it settles somewhere in my stomach but not in that uncomfortable way. More like-like butterflies? Not the cheesy kind though. The- good kind. You know that fluttery feeling that spreads from your stomach, to your spine to your head to your heart and suddenly, I just want to smile. And hug her.

I really, really want to hug her.

"I'm ready now." She says with put on confidence. I can hear her voice crack. I know she's scared for some reason. And now I need to hug her. I feel like we could both use one of my world class hugs right now.

"Bo." Kenzi yells from inside. "What's taking you so long? Who's at the door?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I forgot she was in here. I forgot anyone else existed other than me and Lauren. I forgot that I still don't have an explanation for what shifted between Lauren and I this weekend. I don't have an explanation for myself. And I most certainly don't have one for Kenzi.

"This isn't a great time, Lauren." I hear myself say because it's true. Kenzi is the queen of nag. If she finds out Lauren's here then all hell will break lose on me and I'm not ready for that.

I cannot explain what I do not understand.

(Look at me being all philosophical and shit. What is Lauren doing to me?)

Lauren's eyes shift with hurt and it occurs to me that maybe my statement came out wrong. Oh hell, she probably thinks I have another girl in here. Crap. "Lauren," I reach for her hand, "it's not-"

"I don't care." She jerks her hand away and panic rises in me like a shifting caterpillar. It's not what she thinks. There's no girl in my house. Well, there's a girl but it's Kenzi and nothing can ever happen between me and her.

I want to tell her this, but before words even come out of my mouth, she's running away. Again.

"Bo?" Kenzi's right behind me now. "Who was it?"

"It's no one." I say closing the door even as my heart falls. "Just someone selling bibles."

"At ten in the night?"

"God's work knows no time." I say with a nod before I walk to the bathroom. I think I'm going to be sick.

...

She won't pick my calls.

It's been three days and she won't pick my calls. Or answer my texts. And I don't even know if she listens to my voice mails.

I have sent her more than I care to admit. I might have sang in one of them but let's pretend that never happened, okay?

And if I thought I was going insane before then this is just- wow. Even the twenty something new CEO knows not to mess with me now after I ripped into him.

I have decided that I'm going to go find Tamsin. TamTam is bat shit crazy. And not in that diabolical way Lauren has about her that makes you respect her smartness. No- Tamsin is just insane. She batted my car after I told her I'm not into relationships. And fed me food full of glutten although she fucking knew I'm allergic and for days, my face looked like I'd had sex with bees.

So the fact that I'm even going to talk to her just so I can find out where Lauren lives is- it's worrying. I don't know why I am so willing to go to such extremes for her. I mean, her body is insane and she makes my body react like no one else ever has, but I'm going to talk to Tamsin for fuck's sake.

This is crazy.

But other than Lauren's family, Tamsin is the only other person I know who Lauren knows too. And in the state I'm in, I don't really think I want to talk to her mom. So Tamsin it is.

"Please god no." Is the first thing she says when she sees me. Or should I say groans. She doesn't look very pleased to see me.

In fact, I'd say she looks downright pissed at my presence. Not that I'm surprised. You'd be surprised how many people don't like seeing me. Although only god and his angels know why since I happen to be extremely pleasing to the eyes.

"Hi Ta-"

"No." She cuts me off and goes to bang the door closed but I place my foot to stop it.

Holy. Shit, that hurt. They never make it seem like it hurts in the movies.

"I need a favour from you." I say, trying to avoid the pain in my leg.

She scoffs. "You need a favour from me?" Did I- did I not just say that? Is she getting deaf or something?

I smile at her. "Yes."

"And what on earth makes you think I'd ever do you a favour? You fucked my life."

"No, I gave you a few earth shattering orgasms and you decided that we're in a relationship. It's not my fault you're clingy Tamsin. That's all on you."

I hate it when girls do this. Call me a bitch, but Tamsin knew what she was getting into with me. I never promised her a relationship. I even tried nipping it in the bud when I found out she had a boyfriend, but she said I'm worth the risk. I never asked her to develop feelings for me and the fact that she did, is not my fault.

I was very straight forward with what I was bringing to the table and it's pretty fucking unfair for her to expect more, then hate me when I can't offer that.

"You know what, Bo. You and your favour can get lost. I'm not doing shit for you." She tries closing the door again and this time I'm smart enough to not use my foot to block.

"Look, I'm sorry for saying that. It's just-it's been a long weak and I'm a little on edge."

"Whatever." It's said with a snippy little tone but she's not shutting the door so it's all good. "What do want from me anyway?"

"Well uh, I need Lauren's adress." Straight and to the point.

Tamsin tilts her head in confusion. "Who?"

Jesus on a unicycle, I hate it when people fake obliviousness. I do not have the time or the patience for this.

"Lauren. You know, that chick who you spilled all my life information to?"

"I don't know what you're on, but it's clearly messing with your head. I haven't spoken about you to anyone in months. The less I think about you, the better."

What the bloody hell is she talking about? They had coffee, she spilled my life secrets, Lauren took great pleasure in holding this over me. "Stop shitting me, Tamsin."

"I shit you not. I don't know anyone named Lauren. Except maybe for my cousin Ciara's best friend, and I have never had any conversation with her much less one about you."

I look at Tamsin for a moment. Trying to catch her in a lie. But she doesn't look like she's lying to me.

What the hell is going on? Why did Lauren lie to me? Why- the fuck- do I even care?

The fact that she lied to me means I can now go scott free. She has nothing to hold over me. Nothing's keeping me in this relationship.

But the thing is, I don't want to go scott free. I want to find her, and explain that the other night was not what it looked like. I don't want to not have her in my life. I actually want her in my life a lot. I also want her in my bed. Like all over it. Messing with my sheets as I bring her to highs I'm sure she doesn't know existed. I want her skin on mine and her hands in my hair and-

"Bo!"

"What-" I shake my head to clear images of Lauren's hands in my hair as she reads to me from my mind. I don't know why of all memories I have of her I settled on that one. I could have thought of anything else. You know, her naked, she and I almost getting it on.

But no, I had to settle on something as innocent and sweet as her reading to me and running her fingers through my hair.

Lord. I should just let go of this woman because I have a feeling she's going to change things about me I don't want changed.

But I can't. I need to find her.

Need. To.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah- no, I mean, are you sure you don't know her?"

"I already told you. The only Lauren I know is Lauren Le-something. I don't know, she's my cousin's best friend and-"

"Lewis." I say cutting her off, my voice hopeful. She looks at me with confused eyes. "Is her name Lauren Lewis?"

"Yeah. I guess." Tamsin shrugs then she trains a curious look on me. "Why are you so interested in finding her anyway."

"None of your business."

"You came to me so you made it my business. I've never seen you so interested in someone." It comes out all sad. Like she doesn't want it to be true although she know it is.

"I'm not interested in her, okay? I just need to find out where she lives. So if you could maybe- I don't know, tell me, I'd really appreciate it."

"What part of 'I don't know her' do you not understand? She's Ciara's friend. Ask her."

"Okay." I nod. "Give me Ciara's adress then."

Tamsin's eyes widen, "you're serious?" She asks like it's such a huge thing. Which it isn't. "Fuck, what has this girl done to you?" She lets out a short laugh and shakes her head. Looking at me like I'm an alien of sorts. Like it's the first time she's ever seeing me. "I never thought I'd see the day, the Bo Dennis chases after a girl.

"Ch-what? No no, I'm not chasing after her. I'm trying to find her."

"Yeah. That's the definition of chasing. She has you going all around town talking to exes and people you don't even know, just so you'll find out where she lives." Tamsin says smugly.

Okay. First thing, I'm not chasing after Lauren. I am not. I'm not. Seriously, I'm I?

No no, I'm not.

And secondly, "you're not my ex."

Tamsin shakes her head like she's completely over this conversation "Whatever. I'm not giving you my cousin's adress because that's fucking weird, and illegal. And even if I did, she's not going to be home today, she's going out with some friend to the Blue Room. Now, if you'll excuse me, your five minutes were up like five minutes ago. And I have things to do."

This time, I don't try to stop her from closing the door.

...

Now. Before you judge me, I have no other options.

My efforts to find where Lauren lives through the internet have proved futile. She's not answering my calls or texts or anything. I don't know where Ciara lives and Tamsin is clearly not going to tell me. So if I don't ask Ciara tonight, then I'm probably never going to see Lauren again.

I doubt her mother will tell me where she lives. The woman clearly hates me half as much as I hate her.

This is the only option I have. Because honestly, I'm not going to spend another night thinking of Lauren. And staring at my phone, waiting for her to talk to me. And fucking- missing her.

I don't even know how this happened to me, but I miss her.

I miss the way she laughs when she's really laughing. Like when I almost dropped her when I was carrying her from our night time pool adventures. And I miss how she looks at me anytime before I take the first bite of the food she's cooked. Like she's begging me to like it.

I even miss her cleanliness. Kenzi poured coffee on the counter yesteray and I found myself cleaning it like seconds later and thinking 'Lauren hates messes.'

And I don't want to think what this means. For me. For us. Because I don't want to and I don't need to. I just want to find her.

That's all.

...

Since everything has just been going shit for me in the past few days, I expect to search Blue Room for at least an hour for this Ciara chick. I don't even know what she looks like and I'm going into this blindly and I know it's going to be an uphill battle.

So you can imagine my surprise when I spot her not even a few minutes after walking into the door of the resturant. It's not her I spot though, like I said, I don't know the chick, it's who she's with, that grabs my attention.

White dress, hair falling in curls to her back, minimal but still there make up, perfectly pink lips- pure utter perfection.

I swear I stand still for like three minutes, just looking at her. She's playing with her drink, doesn't really look all that interested in what Ciara is saying. She keeps biting her lip and it's like she's saying, 'Bo Dennis, come kiss me.'

Well I know she's not really saying that, but that's how her biting her lip makes me feel. My body has developed it's own way to react to her and I can't really say I hate it.

I don't try to hide myself. I'm not stalking her, I'm seeking her out. I want her to be aware of my presence. I want her to know I'm here. And judging by how big her eyes just widened when she looked at my direction, I think she does.

This is going to be fun.

...

Seduction is a game I'm very good at.

I'm not even trying to vain right now. I'm just really good at it. It comes naturally to me. So trust me when I say Lauren never stood a chance against me.

I order a drink. And order a bottle of wine for her too. She's been trying for longer than I'm okay with to pretend she's not aware I'm here. To brush off the fact that I saw her noticing me.

The wine will more than inform her I know she knows. It'll make it known to Ciara too.

The waitress motions at me as she serves the wine to them. Both Ciara's and Lauren's eyes land on me and I raise my glass at them and wave coyly.

Ciara gapes and Lauren looks uncomfortable. She says something and looks down. She's playing the pretend game now. But she can't. Not when Ciara knows I'm here.

Ciara asks something, using hand gestures more than words. Lauren shakes her head, looks at me, then looks away hastily when I meet her with a smile. I chuckle under my breath and sip my drink. She's going to look here again in one..two..now-

And right on cue, her eyes find mine. She's looking at me under her lashes, like she doesn't want to, but can't help herself.

I lick my lips. Caressing her with my eyes from her face to the hint of clevage her dress leaves. My eyes stay there for a few seconds and she looks down so fast I'm afraid she'll snap her neck.

I laugh softly under my breath. Everything in me is calm. That raging feeling I've had since she left my door Teusday night is gone. Just being near her calms me. And I don't really know what that means.

But I know it means something.

I see her mouth move and she pushes her chair back, walking away fast towards what I assume is the ladies room.

I call the waitress and settle my bill.

I have a feeling I won't be sitting at this table again tonight.

...

I find her in front of the mirror. Breathing hard and she takes a step back when I enter, closing the door behind me and leaning on it. My arms crossed.

This is the closest I've been to her in days and it's like- it's like coming home.

You know that feeling you have when you're away from home. Unsettled, wondering and wondering when you'll just get there because it's familiar and you want to be there.

That's how seeing her feels. Like coming home.

I want to be here. With her. My body is settled and alive- so impossibly alive when I'm close to her.

"Excuse me." She breaks the silence finally, standing right in front of me, "I need to pass."

Aw, bless her soul. She thinks I'll spend days practically losing my shit over her, go find Tamsin, drive to the Blue Room and wait patiently for almost half an hour then follow her to the goddamned bathroom only to let her go?

Seriously?

"No, actually, we need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you." She says defiantly and I suppose it was supposed to maybe be stern and weaken my resolve or something. But it just serves to make her hotter in my eyes.

I snake my hands around her waist and pull her so close that there's no space between us.

She's breathing hard. Her eyes are darkening into something so invitingly sexy. I can see the want in her eyes. Lauren can say whatever, but she wants me. Maybe not like I want her because I don't think anyone has ever wanted another human being like I want her.

But she wants me alright. She really wants me.

"I think we have quite a lot to talk about. Starting with Tamsin."

"Why would I want to talk about Tamsin with you?"

"Because you lied to me." I say looking right into her eyes. Her hands are on my chest like she's going to push me away but she doesn't. "You don't even know her."

"Fine. I don't know her. I have nothing to threaten you with anymore. We're not together and you can go on with your life as before. Now let. Me. Go." She manages to pull away with that last word and I just hold her again.

Moving us around so now she's the one against the door and I'm standing right in front of her. My face so close I can smell that scent that drives me out of my mind.

"We're not done talking." I can't help myself. My lips have to find her skin. I'm addicted to how she tastes and how her blood rushes when I kiss her neck. The little gasps she gives out and how she feels.

I'm addicted to her.

"Well I'm done talking to you." Even as she's saying this, her fingers are in my hair, she's pulling me even closer to her.

I told you she wants me.

"I'm not done talking to you." I whisper to her ear before kissing again. I still haven't explained Teusday night. And I need to. I can't have her thinking I'd gone out and brought some girl home.

"Really? 'Cause I would have thought you'd find it better to talk to that thing you had in your house Teusday night."

Is it just me, or did she sound hella jealous.

I smile against her neck, my thumb running up and down the base of her spinal chord because I learnt the other day while hugging her that she likes that. "Are you jealous?"

She scoffs. "What. No. I couldn't care less who you have in your bed."

"That thing, was my best friend, and I don't really think she'll appreciate being reffered to as such." I say pulling back and looking her right in the eyes so that she knows I'm sincere. "And I'm sorry, about how I handled things. That was shitty of me."

She looks at me for a moment. Her dark eyes clearing and searching my face before she gently pushes me away. "Like I said, I don't care." She says, adjusting her clothes and moving back to the sink to wash her hands again.

I bite my lip and smirk as I look at her. I feel like my heart's beating faster and my blood's rushing furiously inside my veins. I'm high on her. I'm high on whatever it is she's doing to me.

And I love it.

I walk to her and stand behind her. Making sure she's aware of my presence before I grab the zip to her dress and unzip her slowly. Kissing revealed skin as I go. Lower, and lower and lower till her entire back is open to me. I rise back up and sink my hands into her dress, settling right on her abs and rubbing slow circles round and round.

I place my head on her shoulder and look right into her eyes through the mirror. "Lie to me. Lie to me one more time how much you don't care."

I expect a lot of responses from her, but the slow smirk that spreads on her lips is certainly not one of them. Although I must say, it is most welcome. It just makes this little game we're playing all the more fun.

"You are so self assured."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It's not." She says and pushes against me, making me moan a little and making her smirk that much hotter. "And if you think I'm going to have sex with you in a bathroom, to an audience of germs and god knows what sort of bacteria, then you are sadly mistaken Bo Dennis."

I laugh, shaking my head a bit and laying my forehead on her back. I kiss her once, twice, three times just because. I zip up her dress and let her turn around. "Fine. Let's go to my place then."

"No."

No?

Well, I certainly was not expecting that. "No?"

"I was just about to have dinner with my friend before you turned up here and made that impossible. So now I'm hungry and it's all your fault. The least you could do is buy me dinner."

An odd warmth that I've never felt before spreads all around my chest and I find myself breaking into a small soft smile that I can't control. "You want to go out to dinner with me?"

"Yeah. Unless-" she suddenly looks a bit scared and I take her hand in mine.

"No, no. I want to. It's just dinner after all."

Yeah. It's just dinner and then we'll go back to my place and I'll have my wicked way with her.

It's just dinner. Nothing more.

Just. Dinner.

...

An; You can blame the quickness of this update on the insane number of PMs I got in my inbox this morning.

An; I'm not a tease, I promise. I just really like character development. I like making them real. So..yeah. Every single thing will be revealed in due time. Including why Hell calls Lauren's mom 'Mom' and Lauren's first time and why her relationship with her mom sucks.

Thank you all for being so generous with your words and making this a million times more fun for me.