Alexander made his way slowly to Hephaestion's tent. Part of him wanted to run to Hephaestion, grab hold of him, and never let go. Part of him was terrified to face him. He had no idea of the reason for Hephaestion's unannounced visit, and his imagination had been running rampant for the last few hours as he waited for Hephaestion to send for him. He hoped beyond hope that maybe, just maybe, Hephaestion missed him as much as he missed Hephaestion. He had to be realistic, though. The odds of any sort of reconciliation were slim at best.

He paused at the door of the tent, waiting as the guards stepped aside to let him in, and took a deep breath. Alexander felt an odd feeling in his gut, one he wasn't accustomed to feeling…fear. Stepping inside, he felt all the air leave his lungs.

Hephaestion stood beside a small wooden table, holding a cup of wine. He looked up, acknowledging Alexander with a nod and offered him a cup as well. He cursed himself for the slight tremble in his hands as he handed Alexander the wine, praying that he hadn't noticed it. His nerves were as taut as bow strings and he found his mouth suddenly so dry he wasn't sure he could speak. Quickly, he gulped down his cup of wine and a slave rushed to pour another. He motioned to one of the chairs. "Please, Alexander. Sit down."

It took Alexander a moment to register the fact that Hephaestion had indeed spoken to him. He had been too busy staring at him, lost in his own thoughts. Hephaestion looked amazing, as always. He had lost a little weight, which made Alexander frown slightly, but other than that, he looked beautiful. He was dressed in a simple white chiton with a dark blue chlamys draped over his broad shoulders, and simple, laced sandals on his feet. His hair was longer than Alexander remembered, as smooth and shiny as silk, and braided at the sides. Alexander had nearly forgotten how truly stunning Hephaestion was.

Finally he found his tongue again. "Thank you, Hephaestion." He sat down in one of the chairs and downed his cup of wine quickly. The slave moved to fill his cup, but Hephaestion waved him away.

"Leave us" he instructed, then turned to look at the young page that had been on duty, "you as well."

Alexander spoke up, addressing his page. "Instruct the guards that we are not to be disturbed under any circumstance. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir." The young man left the room, followed by the slave, leaving Alexander and Hephaestion alone.

The silence stretched awkwardly as the men looked at each other, not really knowing what to say. After a moment, Alexander cleared his throat and spoke. "I trust you are well, Hepahaestion?"

Hephaestion sat down in the chair opposite Alexander. "I am well. And you?"

"I am fine." He paused. "Things here are…improving. I know Ptolemy has kept you informed on everything that goes on here. How are things in Babylon? Are there any issues I need to be aware of?"

"No, Alexander. Things are fine. Things are running smoothly."

Once again, awkward silence, as neither man spoke. Hephaestion felt very uncomfortable, and was beginning to think this had been a really bad idea.

Alexander sighed heavily and stood, pacing across the room before turning to face Hephaestion. His expression was one of sadness. "Really, Hephaestion? Have we come to this? Can we no longer even speak to each other?"

Hephaestion frowned and shook his head, speaking softly, mostly to himself. "I didn't think this would be so difficult."

The uncertainty, not knowing why Hephaestion was here, was killing Alexander. It was obviously something of great importance for Hephaestion to come here alone, and apparently difficult for him to talk about. He had to ask. "Hephaestion" he said quietly.

Hephaestion looked up, locking eyes with Alexander and seeing fear in them. He swallowed hard.

"Hephaestion", Alexander said again, "why are you here?" He paused. "I mean, I'm very happy to see you. Your visit was just…unexpected."

Hephaestion dropped his gaze and drew a deep breath. He had spent the entire trip from Babylon rehearsing this conversation in his head, planning out exactly what he wanted to say and how Alexander might respond. Now that he was here, face to face with Alexander, he couldn't remember any of it. "Alexander…let me ask you something." He met and held Alexander's gaze once again. "How are you really? And don't tell me 'fine'. I don't mean how you're doing as King or anything like that. I mean, how is Alexander? The one that I know."

Alexander stood silently for a few moments, searching Hephaestion's face but unable to read him. Finally, he sighed heavily and walked the few steps back towards the table, sitting down across from Hephaestion again.

"There is little point in lying to you or trying to hide anything. You know me far too well for that." He took a drink of his wine, taking just a moment to gather his thoughts. "Fine. You want the truth?" He shook his head sadly and looked away. "I'm miserable. Everything I do seems to blow up in my face. The men don't trust me, and I'm not so sure I trust myself either." He looked back to find Hephaestion watching him calmly, his expression still unreadable. "I don't sleep. And I feel empty inside. Nothing I do, nothing I have, seems to help that. I feel….lost."

Hephaestion sat quietly, absorbing all that Alexander had said He really hadn't expected Alexander to be that open, knowing how he tended to hide any semblance of vulnerability in himself. But then again, Hephaestion could always see right through it anyway. His heart beat just a little faster as his nerves suddenly kicked in. Wasn't this exactly what he wanted to hear? Still, hearing the words spoken with such conviction caught Hephaestion slightly off guard. He got lost in his thoughts, startled slightly when he realized Alexander was speaking again.

"I'm sorry Alexander. What did you say?"

"I asked you again, why are you here, Hephaestion? The truth."

Hephaestion looked away as he gathered his thoughts. This is it, you fool. This is why you came. Say what you came to say he told himself. He fixed his gaze on Alexander's dark eyes. "I can't do this anymore, Alexander."

Alexander was confused. "Do…what?"

Hephaestion "Us. This…whatever we have between us." He stood and paced the room nervously. There was no going back now. "Alexander, I am miserable, too. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I…miss you." He shook his head. "I thought I could do this. I didn't think I needed you. I thought I could move past it. But the truth is, I can't."

Alexander felt his heart leap in his chest as that tiny spark of hope he had clung to for nearly a year took on new life. He released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "What are you saying, Hephaestion?"

"I'm saying…my place is with you, Alexander. It always has been. It always will be. You are the other half of my soul, and nothing, not time or distance, will ever change that. Every path I take, they all lead me back to you."

For the first time in so many months, Alexander felt hope.