Chapter 9
Realization
"Good morning Kagome-san," Kagome turned around to see Sesshomaru's mother smiled at her. A gentle smile that she wanted to rips off the woman's face. How pretentious. They all were. They just wanted to be on her good side so that she wouldn't cause them any trouble. Troubles of getting into that man's pocket.
She replied with an irritated scowl and Sakura's face fell. Kagome could tell that she was disappointed. This was the first time Kagome had seen her again ever since the wedding, but to be honest, she has no intention of seeing her face at all. Her beautiful face reminded Kagome of all the whores her father had married before her. Yes, they have nothing but a young and fresh face. Yet this woman's gentle expression reminded her of her late mother. It was a sickening comparison.
"Have I done you wrong somehow?" Sakura's face was filled with worry.
"Yes, just by simply being here," Kagome said sharply. This woman and her gentleness annoyed her a great deal.
Sakura was taken back right away; her eyebrows came together as if she doesn't know what to do in such situations. She had known that Kagome never liked her very much, but she really wants them to become good friends. After all, they do live under the same roof. She stood quiet, not knowing what to say.
Kagome looked at her and became more annoyed, because this woman was making her feels guilty for her words. She never treated any of her father's whores nicely, and she wasn't about to start with this nice woman. But she certainly did not like the guilt.
"If you feel you've done me wrong then don't let me see your face in this house." Kagome said sharply with a hint of intentional cruelness, and Sakura gasped; her pale complexion just became paler, as if she was about to faint. Kagome ignored her and walked away. This house sickened her and if she stayed any longer, she would surely vomit.
Not long after she got out of the house she was pulled back harshly, a firm and hard grip by the violent hand she knew too well of. When hasn't he used violence on her? She bit her lips and endured the pain he just gave her. Soon these days, she'll have unwanted bruises on her arms.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kagome shouted and shook his hand off her. She looked up at him only to meet her angry eyes with his. But his anger was different from hers. It was looking at her as if wanted to eat her alive. Suddenly she felt scared.
"I will not have my mother be spoken to that way," his tone was set hard and even a bit of threat in it.
Kagome scoffed, "I didn't find her just to talk to her that way now did I?" Her eyes equally challenged his; she also wasn't in such a good mood if were to compare. "If she knew her place then she shouldn't be talking to me in the first place." She looked straight at him in the eyes. Seeing the anger from his eyes soothed her anger. "My morning was fine until that woman came around."
As soon as the words escaped her mouth his eyes turned into flames, she had never seen him so angry before. She didn't know the man had feelings. It was interesting surely enough, but fearful at the same time.
"Place? What do you mean by that?" He leveled eyes with her; his tone became so much more threatening. His jaw set hard and rigid, as if he was about to crush the perfect line of teeth in between it.
A smiled curled upon her lips, "A whore". Each word was pronounced clear and like a sharp knife, cutting through his chest. He wanted to crush her right there with his bare hands. She didn't stop there; she was too cruel to stop. "A whore that my father bring home." She had made sure he heard her clear and well. Words that stung like a hundred needles, words like a bell kept ringing in his head. Words like a sharp knife. He couldn't control himself then. He didn't know that such a beautiful face, such beautiful lips, that he loved to kiss yet again could say such unbearable words.
As soon as the words escaped her mouth, she was also shocked. But he didn't leave her time to be shocked. A sharp stinging pain hit her face so quick that she didn't even have time to react. Kagome staggered back a bit, a hand on her now swollen face, completely shocked. She was mistaken; she had never seen him THIS angry ever before. And it wasn't a bit interesting at all!
He had hit her. Strike her with that strong hand he used to force her into an unforgettable kiss. Now he also used that same hand to hit her, an unforgettable slap to the face! A slap to her pride! Sesshomaru Tanaka, you better remember this slap!
Her words were unbearable, but the look she gave him was also unbearable. There, his heart was racing again, and never in a good way with her around. This time was no different, but maybe well worse. The redness of a clear marked of his hand on her delicate skin, the blood that dripped down her lips, tear filled eyes that won't stop come running. He had done this. She looked at him furiously, with anger he never knew she had so much of. He stared in silence as she backed away from him, disgusted of him or fearful of him? Either way, he had successfully made her despised him more than she ever had. He could never sleep right knowing she despised him so. How his chest twisted in an unrecognized pain right now.
Why, just a mere girl. He doesn't understand it.
Being around her brings all of these emotions he never thought he had into him so unexpectedly…didn't even stop to ask a word. Straight into his heart.
It must hurt a lot. How it pained him too. Sesshomaru raised a hand to touch Kagome's swollen face but as the moment his fingertip touched her cheek, she jerk away violently, angry eyes glaring at him. And he felt as if a hand just squeezed his heart cruelly, cruelly like she was always to him. His eyes turned cold on her, this damn wench! What was she to him to make he feel this way.
"Don't touch me!" Those hands which had strike her. A slap to the face doesn't hurt as much to her pride but certainly didn't do a great deal of damage to her heart! Her heart which felt more than such a hundred times!
Yet how dare he look at her with those cold eyes that he used to look at everyone. Was she no different at all? Was she the same as everyone else in his eyes? She doesn't know why or when but tears started to flow. His silent gaze made her feel cold. Cold bastard. As long as I'm Kagome Higurashi, I'll never forget this!
"Sesshomaru Tanaka, you better remember this day!" She turned around and run as fast as she could, blinking away her tears.
Why, I always thought that you stood out from the crowd.
She had run away from him. She couldn't stand to be in his presence a moment longer. He closed his eyes to shove away the image of her face filled with tears. Her last word to him… was like a knife cut.
Words like a sharp knife.
Inuyasha leaned in for a kiss but Kagome pulled away, and he studied her for a silent minute. She's definitely not her usual self.
"Is something the matter?" He asked with full concern, and indeed concern he should be. Her face was swollen and he refused to believe the excuse she gave.
"Nothing for you to worry about senpai," she gave him a small smile, "I'm just not in the mood."
A small smile that made her she winces in pain because of her swollen lips. He put his hands on her shoulder and turned her to face him, unconvinced he try again, "Tell me what really happened to your face?" He touched her cheek gently, as she winced in his touches and he couldn't bare it. Her pain was his pain.
She stared at him for a blank second, unexpressed, and then quietly hugged him, "Senpai is always so warm."
It didn't take long for her tears to come, and the next thing he knew, his shirt was damped with her sad tears. Why, he is unable to do anything when she's in pain. Doesn't she know that hurt him? She never tells him anything anymore nor does she let him in anymore. Has her trust in him gone completely with time and sorrow? Was he ever there in the first place…
How painful those questions were just to think about. How much more pain will the answer give…
He couldn't even hugged her passionately like he used to, couldn't even raise a hand to comfort her. He sat there with her crying in his arms and he could do nothing still. He was in no position to comfort her. Why, didn't he make her cry once before?
He sat there in silence. Hopeless. Damnation to feelings!
He didn't know what he was looking for in here but maybe hoping to find a familiar glance. His mind told him to leave but his feet just kept walking. He had forgotten how quiet and peaceful it was in here. And sometimes a sad melody lingers in the air, seducing who ever came along. But that sad melody hasn't played for quite some time now, ever since that room occupied another figure, ever since then, laughter disrupts him in his sleep.
He realized what he was looking for when his feet came to a stop, in front of him in a dark dusty corner; laid a small figure wrapped up in herself, sleeping peacefully. He knelt down next to her and studied her. Didn't she know her position was like a child longing for their mother's warmth?
Did she think that he had no emotions, that he could care less about anyone but himself? Did she think how unaware he was to everybody? He did notice the song she always played, that she knew the words by heart and would always sing it when she sitting on her balcony staring into space. He knew this was the corner in this huge library where she would hide and sleep. To get away from the world outside. And he knows the one book out of a thousand in here that she would read. Over and over until she fell asleep and he would come in to turn the last page for her. Did she see the three words on the last page when she woke up? Did she know she often cried in her sleep or smiled like an idiot? Did she ever notice that there was another presence beside her, like now, like always, just silently watching her sleep? Sometime wipes away the lonely tears that tried to make its way out.
Maybe, he is cold to everyone else. But she is not everyone else. Has she ever considered that? He didn't even notice he did all this until this very minute where the only steps lead to her. Somehow, she had made her way into his crowded heart, and managed to made room for herself, somehow becoming a permanent resident in his heart. So inconsiderate to his heart, stubborn and selfish as she is, marching straight into his heart without even stopping to ask for his permission.
Did she know that only when sitting besides her, listening to her soft breathing, that he felt at ease?
She stared at his sleeping face quietly, and then smiled to herself. Her insides were always light and warm every time she opens her eyes and saw him next to her. Having his presence next to her made her feel safe, even in her dreams. How peaceful he looked as she reached up to touch his relaxed eyebrows, tracing her fingers along them. How at ease were they to not have to scowl all the time. She imagined how gentle he would look without having to keep such a cold and scornful expression all the time. Then she touched his lips, and thought how nice would it be to smile once in a while. How nice would it be to show some emotions once in a while. What would happen when those eyes fill with warmth instead of internal coldness.
She looked at him, then at her surroundings and realized in this big place, so quiet, with just them sitting silently beside each other. And realized two hearts are beating at the same rhythm quietly, peacefully and truly at ease.
How could she not know, the silent footsteps, the rustling of paper, the gentle sound of his breathing, the stroke of her hair as if he was afraid she might awake any second. She knows it all, because in her dreams she felt safe. And whether she dreamt it all or not, she always opened her eyes with a smile carry by the heart. Because even in her dreams; she felt his warmth consuming her.
Because even in her dreams, her heart beat fast as long as there was his presence.
"You seem distressed," Miroku smiled as he sips through his tea.
"You don't seem very mindful about it," Sesshomaru replied in annoyance. "What are you doing in my office? Don't you have a better place to be, Mr. Prosecutor?"
"Is that how you greet a good friend who has just come back from a honeymoon?" Miroku's tone was stretched dramatically yet his posture was completely calm and as if an aura of amusement surrounded him. He poured himself another cup of tea and began sipping it with a mischievous smile on his lips. "You haven't slept well lately," he turned to face Sesshomaru's cold eyes. "I wonder why."
Of course he obviously knew well of the reason for Sesshomaru's dark circle and distress expression. After all, wasn't he the source of it in the first place? He chuckled in his mind and let it drift back to the conversation he and his new wife had a couple days ago.
Sango pulled away from Miroku's kisses and frowned. "When is enough, enough for you?" She sat up and put on her robe, walking away from his touches.
"Something is on your mind," he smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"I just can't understand why you brought Inuyasha back when we were going to get Sesshomaru and Kagome together. What exactly are you trying to do?" She paused as if to think, "I wonder how Kagome's handling it."
Miroku chuckled. "Why are you worrying about someone else's business on our honeymoon?" He kisses her neck, "Right now I just want to get back to bed. But if you insist, perhaps it was to stir up trouble."
"When the troubles are not ours, it's a little fun to watch don't you think?" He laughed and pulled her to face him.
Sango scowled at him, "That is cruel speaking," she watched as his lips curled into a mysterious smile, "I find you so hard to understand sometimes."
"Inuyasha decided to come back by himself. I just simply invited him at a convenient time."
"I wonder why, after all this time."
He lifted up her chin and kissed her lips gently. "Why do you trouble yourself with this?" He gives her another quick kiss and continues, "Let say he thought it was time to, I don't know, reprimand himself? Redemption, or perhaps, a second chance."
"I didn't think that woman would give up so easily." Sango said with concerned eyes. "Do you think she'll follow him?"
"From the way I see it, the one who gave up was Kagome. She ran away." Miroku was growing sleepy, so he dragged her back into bed. "But who ever this woman is, she sounds formidable, to be able to turn such a calm and reasonable head her way."
Miroku smiled and taps Sango's nose, "Why are you worried? Inuyasha is a patient man, and coming back means he decided to wait. Sesshomaru and Kagome are both stubborn, so let Inuyasha be a test to them," he yawned and pulled her down on the bed with him. "A test to all of them."
Ahh… a wonderful night indeed. Miroku let the scent of tea fill his nose; jasmine, a wise choice. But that was not the reason he came here for, sadly putting the cup down.
"Since my wife isn't here, I guess I'll take my leave. May I suggest this tea for you? It can really ease your mind. You look like you needed it a great deal." He laughs lightly as he made his way to the door.
Sesshomaru looked up from his desk. "What's your reason for coming here?"
"Sharp like always," Miroku smiled; still the air of bemusement surrounded him. "When there's love, there's pain. So had you loved somehow?"
He left; leaving Sesshomaru's stunned face behind him. He chuckled to himself. I could see it on your face, good buddy. It is filled with twisting pains.
Happy new year you guys!!
I didn't know how short this chpt was until i post it on here. It certainly didn't look this short on my word pro. lol
Oh my sequel to my only Oneshot is coming [if any read it anyway] [last one was such a hurry with many mistake, this one will be better and much sadder i promises] lol
I hope to finish it in two week [boy...it long] but till then
Enjoy
