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Emoemo: UPDATED! Thanks for the review!
Neko-chan31: Here is the update you have so patiently waited for, I do hope you enjoy it. Thanks for your review!
I know I know, I took forever to update. It happens. But I thank you all for waiting this long and I hope this chapter makes up for the long delay.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor any of its characters.
WARNINGS: None.
Enjoy!
If Reality Could Drown
Chapter Nine: Empty Eyes
"What do you think happened to him?" Renji wondered aloud.
"I think he lost his memories, Renji" Ichigo replied with as little sarcasm as he could manage.
"I get that, I just don't understand why the Ouin would take his memories"
"And he's Captain" Rukia pointed out "imagine what it would have done to a lower ranking officer, it doesn't bare thinking about"
They all looked down at the young Soul Reaper sleeping peacefully in the bed of Squad Four; it was like nothing was wrong, his face was so calm and unmarked it was as though nothing would wake him. At least he was getting the relaxation Rangiku had wanted. Ichigo's brow furrowed; he should have done more to stop Toshiro. There hadn't been one Soul Reaper in the whole of the Seireitei who had thought this a good idea; even Yamamoto had gone against his reservations.
And they'd all been right.
It had taken seventeen Soul Reapers, four Captains included, to bring Toshiro down. The young Captain of the Tenth Squad had woken up to find himself surrounded by strangers; he'd attacked anyone who'd come close, Ichigo himself had narrowly escaped the tirade Toshiro had unleashed upon them.
The substitute rubbed his arms and shivered "why's it so cold in here?"
"It's because Captain Hitsugaya isn't concealing his spiritual pressure" Rukia explained, "normally he has complete control"
"Lets just hope he remembers to conceal it again" Renji breathed out and watched his foggy breath rise up above him "otherwise we'll all freeze"
There was a noise behind them and Rangiku stepped in to the room "how is he?" she asked walking to the bed and taking a seat next to her sleeping Captain "has he moved at all?"
"Not even a little bit" Ichigo sighed, "he's just been sleeping"
Rangiku nodded slowly and lifted her hand to brush aside a few strands of white hair from Toshiro's face "it's odd" she murmured, "he looks so young and vulnerable just lying there"
"Hey, don't worry, Captain Hitsugaya is going to be just fine" Rukia assured her "Captain Unohana is convinced the memory loss is just a reaction to the shock, and that it will return"
"Yeah, he'll probably remember it all when he wakes up" Renji clapped Rangiku on the shoulder "he'll be back to the same grumpy bad tempered controlling irritating Captain we all know…and love" he added quickly, catching Rukia's expression.
"So what did Yamamoto say?" asked Ichigo "apart from completely crushing Toshiro's mind, did the Ouin actually do anything?"
Rangiku sighed and tore her gaze away from her Captain "actually yes, veins have broken the surface of the seal. The Ouin actually made a difference" she looked back to Toshiro "if the Royal weren't angry with Yamamoto for using the Ouin without their permission, the Head Captain would be willing to use it again"
There was a pause.
"Again?" repeated Ichigo "he wants to use it again?"
"Makes sense I guess" Renji reasoned "if the Ouin starting breaking the seal this time, it could break it more a second time"
"It would solve the problem quicker than waiting" Rukia agreed.
"Wait a minute!" Ichigo gaped "are you all serious!?" he flung his finger at Toshiro "have you completely forgotten what happened! Toshiro is a Captain and the Ouin nearly wiped him out! Does no one care about that!?"
"Of course we do" Rukia replied "but we have to think about the bigger picture, Ichigo, the longer the seal remains the longer-"
"Who gives a damn about that! None of you can seriously be thinking about using the Ouin again! It's insane! Who knows what damage could happen! And have you thought about who should use the Ouin, does anyone apart from Toshiro know how to use the Ouin?!"
He looked round at them angrily.
"Well?"
"The Royal family" Renji suggested "and Yamamoto might know something, and Captain Hit-"
"And Toshiro" Ichigo interrupted "yeah, I thought you might say that" he glared at them "you all know what this means, right?" he demanded, "it means the only one that can use the Ouin is Toshiro. They're not going to risk Yamamoto's memories, he's the Head Captain, and I seriously doubt anyone of the Royal family will use it"
"Look, Ichigo, I get what you're saying" Renji answered calmly "and you're wrong if you think we don't care about Captain Hitsugaya, he's one of the most popular Captains we have. But Rukia is right. This isn't about one Soul Reaper. It's about all the Soul Reapers, not to mention all the spirits that have been trapped in the World of the Living. We have to put them first, no matter what we personally feel"
"Yes" whispered Rangiku "that's what the Head Captain said, almost to the word" she looked at her Captain sadly "they want Captain Hitsugaya to get his memories back as soon as possible…so he can use the Ouin again"
Ichigo's jaw tightened; this was what he hated about the Soul Society. It was so wrapped up in its purposes it completely forgot that it was run by Soul Reapers who could hurt, and die. Somewhere along the lines it had forgotten to protect itself; that was why Aizen had found it so easy to betray them.
"I'm not gonna let that happen" he said darkly.
"What do you mean?" asked Rukia sharply, she'd been concerned Ichigo would rebel against something. He usually did.
"I'm not gonna let you use Toshiro like that. This time it only wiped his memories, but the next time could kill him. I won't let you push Toshiro in to this, not again. I should have stopped it from happening in the first place"
"Ichigo, this affects you too," Renji reminded him "the sooner the seal breaks the sooner you can go home"
"I'm not gonna sacrifice Toshiro! I protect my friends, I don't destroy them!"
"Ichigo, we are your friends, remember?" Rukia answered "and we all care about Captain Hitsugaya, even Yamamoto cares about him. Using the Ouin would only be a last resort. Who knows, maybe using the Ouin's power once was enough; the veins in the seal might break further. Only time will tell us that"
"Come on" Renji went to Rangiku "we've all been in here too long" he took the Tenth Lieutenant by the hand "there's nothing we can do until the Captain wakes up"
Rangiku hesitated but stood all the same; she let Renji guide her out of the room while Rukia prodded Ichigo until he turned away from the bed and grudgingly followed them.
The room fell quiet as the talking strangers left the room and their noise disappeared down the corridor outside.
His eyes snapped open.
"Where am I?" he whispered.
Maybe he only spoke so he could hear the sound of his own voice. A quiet thing: low in volume. He blinked. He'd been awake for some time but had felt safer pretending to sleep; those strangers had been talking, had they been talking about him? He didn't know. They'd sounded like they were talking about him. Was his name really Toshiro Hitsugaya? It didn't sound like it belonged to him, but it was hard to tell. And this Toshiro was a Captain.
A Captain of what?
He had no answers.
But he knew one thing.
This Toshiro Hitsugaya was needed for something, something dangerous; if he were really Toshiro Hitsugaya then that meant he was in danger. It meant these strangers wanted him for something.
He listened out hard for any noise; he knew what he had to do. He had no idea of his own name, but he knew it wasn't worth the risk finding out if he was Toshiro Hitsugaya no matter how desperate he was to know. He had to escape. Now, while he had the chance.
Sitting up sharply he looked around the room and was glad to find it empty; looking down he found himself wearing a white robe. His left arm was wrapped up in bandages; he must have hurt himself somehow, he'd have to investigate that later. Glancing about the room he located clothes; black kimonos with a white haori. Were they his clothes? It didn't matter.
Swinging his legs out he tested the ground for a moment and found no damage. Standing he reached for the garb and pulled it down; the white haori he would leave behind, it would attract too much attention. Slipping out the white robes he dressed as quickly as he could; he felt strange, a little light headed. Not knowing who he was unnerved him. It was cold in the room and his breath fogged up about him.
The clothes fitted him perfectly.
What did that mean? Turning round he found the exit and walked towards it; bare feet kept his footsteps to a minimum. Peering round the doorway he was pleased to find the corridor outside empty.
Stepping out he looked behind him to make sure no one would turn the corner. It suddenly occurred to him that he had no idea where he was; escaping this place would be harder than he'd first realised.
"Captain Hitsugaya"
He jumped and whirled back round.
A woman was standing behind him; funny, he hadn't heard her approach. He glared and took a step back.
"Please don't panic, Captain," she said, she smiled at him with kindness "it seems your memories have not yet returned to you. My name is Retsu Unohana. I am the Captain of Squad Four. Right now we are in the Squad Four Barracks"
That meant nothing to him. He didn't trust her one bit.
Her smile was too kind.
"I want to leave"
"I'm sorry, Captain Hitsugaya, but I can't let you do that. You are not well"
"Yes" he replied, "that's what I thought you'd say"
"Don't worry so much" Renji chided the substitute "at least you don't have to worry about Hitsugaya burying his feelings. He doesn't even know who Kusaka is"
"Yeah, great. That makes me feel so much better" said Ichigo dryly.
"Why are you taking this so hard?" Rukia asked, "what happened to Captain Hitsugaya isn't your fault"
"I should have stopped him, I should have stopped you all. Using the Ouin was the worst idea anyone could have had"
"But it weakened the seal, Ichigo" Renji prodded his friend "it did work"
"At what cost? I don't get why no one is worried about that? Has anybody considered that maybe the Ouin effected more than we know? What if Toshiro losing his memories is just the start?"
"Why do you think Squad Twelve is covering the scene like a blanket? They're making sure that's all that happened"
"Look, for now we can't worry about the Ouin" Rukia added "Captain Hitsugaya is our main concern, and not just because we want to use the Ouin again. Losing another Captain after all we've been through is too much"
"What's the best way to get his memories back?" asked the substitute "there's gotta be a way"
"Captain Kurotsuchi and Captain Unohana have been consulting each other on the matter" Renji replied "I overheard them in Squad Four, they're talking about running some tests while he's asleep"
"I hope they find something"
Rangiku was walking behind the three of them; until now she'd been silent. They all knew she was loyal to her Captain and very fond of him, but these events were something she was taking harder than they'd expected. Maybe she felt as if a part of Captain had died.
Maybe that part of him would never return.
It was an unbearable thought.
"Hey" Renji went to her and hooked his arm round her shoulder "what's with all this gloom and doom? I would have thought you'd be over the moon, with Hitsugaya's memories gone you don't have to do any paperwork. Bonus!"
Renji was trying to cheer Rangiku up, Ichigo knew that, and it was a good thing to do. But Ichigo couldn't shake the feeling that things were terrible, worse than anyone had predicted. The seal had been damaged; it was the best news anyone could have asked for.
But was it all going to be that simple?
Would Toshiro's memories return over time?
Would the seal continue to break without using the power of the Ouin?
That sounded too easy.
It was too good to be true.
And then the alarm rang through the air.
'ATTENTION: ALL LIEUTENANTS ARE TO REPORT TO THE EAST GATE TO DETAIN CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA. I REPEAT: ALL LIEUTENANTS ARE TO REPORT TO THE EAST GATE TO DETAIN CAPTAIN HITSUGAYA'
"Dammit" Renji muttered "looks like sleeping beauty woke up" he looked to Rukia "you'd better come too, I know you're not a Lieutenant but you'll be more help than those two idiots acting as Squad Thirteen's Lieutenants"
"Right" Rukia nodded "Ichigo, you stay here"
"What! But I could help, if you're going to talk to him then I can-"
"The announcer didn't say we were to talk to him, it said we were to detain him"
"What's that-you mean you're just going to arrest him? Lock him away like he's a criminal!"
"There's no time to argue with you, just stay here"
And with that Renji and Rukia vanished, jumping over the rooftops and flying through the air. Ichigo scowled and readied himself to follow; he didn't care what anyone thought. If their plan was to imprison Toshiro then he had to get there first; he could talk to the Captain before anyone found him. If he could just gain Toshiro's trust then maybe the young Soul Reaper wouldn't be treated like such a prisoner. It had to be worth a shot.
Then he realised that Rangiku hadn't moved.
"Rangiku? Aren't you going with them? He is your Captain after all"
But Rangiku didn't hear him, she was thinking instead.
"Rangiku?"
"The Captain is smart" she said, almost to herself "it doesn't matter if he can't remember anything, he's still clever"
"Your point?" Ichigo asked and then realised what she was talking about "wait, you think it's some kinda ruse. He's not at the east gate?"
"No, I think somehow he managed to trick them"
"Alright, you know him best. Where would he go? West instead of east maybe?"
"No, that's too obvious. The moment they all realise he's not at the east gate they'll automatically head west" Rangiku thought for a moment "no, he'd go north, he'd wait until they went west and then he'd circle round to the east. I'm sure that's what he'd do"
"Are you sure? It sounds like something Toshiro would do, but he's not Toshiro at the moment. He's a total stranger, maybe he thinks differently"
"It's possible, but I'm sure that's what he'd think. His memory loss doesn't mean he's turned stupid" Rangiku clenched her hands tightly "either way I have to try, I have to find him"
"No, let me go" Ichigo caught her before she left "if you start heading north the others will figure out what you're doing. They don't care where I am"
"Ichigo, the main thing is that we can't let him get away, we just want him to be safe. No one is going to hurt him"
"No, they want to lock him up so he doesn't escape again. You keep treating him like a prisoner and he'll only try harder to escape, someone's gotta talk to him and make him stay of his own accord"
Rangiku hesitated for a moment.
"Give me a chance, Rangiku, I have to find him before everyone else does"
She sighed "alright. But whatever you do, Ichigo, don't let him leave the Seireitei, or we could lose him forever"
He peered round the corner and waited patiently; there didn't seem to be anyone waiting for him but he couldn't be sure. These strange people could appear and vanish at a moment's notice. They were so fast; it left him at a serious disadvantage. It had taken a lot of effort and skill to convince his hunters that he had gone one way and not another.
At least now it was only a matter of waiting and patience.
Concealment was his greatest ally; slowly he checked round the corner a second time and when it was empty he shot from out of his alley to the shadow of a building. The roof above him jutted out wide; he was hidden from anyone looking above. Not that he let his guard down; it had been a nasty shock to discover these people could almost fly through the air.
"About time I found you, I was beginning to worry"
He jumped and looked around; there was no one. Did this world have invisible folk in it also? That was all he needed.
"Heads up"
A shadow grew long on the ground in front of him and someone leapt down from the roof; inwardly he cursed, they must have been hiding on the other side of the roof out of sight. Waiting for him. He glared expecting to see a dark enemy with weapons ready to kill him.
Instead there was only a guy standing before him.
"The colour of your hair is absurd"
The stranger's mouth fell open.
"Gah, f-for real! After everything that's happened that's the first thing that comes in to your head!"
"I figured that I should at least get one insult in before you killed me"
"Come on, you know I'm not gonna kill you"
"How should I know that, I don't even know how you found me"
"Well, honestly I almost didn't. I didn't think you'd be this close to Squad Four Barracks" the orange headed stranger replied. He gave a shrug "then I realised, you've lost all your memories" he continued, "you've forgotten how to use flash step"
"I don't know what this flash step is, but if you're going to kill me then you might as well get on with it"
"I'm not gonna kill you, Toshiro"
"My name is not Toshiro!"
"Is that so? You don't have any memories. How would you know your name isn't Toshiro?"
"It can't be. I would remember!"
"Clearly not" the stranger twitched his eyebrows "well, for the record, I'm Ichigo, Ichigo Kurosaki"
"Surprising, I would have called you Carrot"
"Again with the hair jokes, like I've never heard them before"
"You're the one with the stupid hair"
"Hey, look in the mirror, why don't ya! I'm not the one with a head full of snow!" Ichigo scowled, then sighed with aggravation. Even with no memories Toshiro Hitsugaya was a snotty brat.
He shook his head.
"Alright, Captain Snot, listen up. I need you to trust me"
"And why would I do that? I don't know you, I've no reason to trust you"
"You're just gonna have to take a leap of faith on this, otherwise you're going to be locked away in a box while they run tests on you. Is that what you really want?"
"Who are they? Who are you? What tests! Why should I believe anything you say?!"
There were too many questions left unanswered.
He didn't have the luxury to trust anyone.
"Because if you don't you're gonna find yourself a prisoner, I don't want that for you, Toshiro"
"Stop calling me Toshiro!"
"No, it's your name. Toshiro Hitsugaya, Captain of Squad Ten. Your Lieutenant is Rangiku Matsumoto, she's very worried about you by the way"
"I don't know who that is"
"I know, but if you did remember who she was then you'd come with me without a second thought"
"Really, then it's too bad I don't remember her"
Finally he saw his chance.
This stranger named Ichigo looked away for the merest of seconds, obviously trying to think of something to say to make him stay. Seizing the moment he dashed to his left and ran. He was half way down the passage before Ichigo Kurosaki realised-
An arm caught round his waist and brought him crashing to the ground, knocking the air out of him. He grunted and struggled to regain his senses.
"Flash step, remember. I'm faster than you"
Ichigo looked down at him and then softened; he held out his hand as Toshiro pushed himself up. The young Soul Reaper smacked his hand away sharply and stood up of his own accord.
"I get it" he said coldly "I can't escape, is that the point you're making? No matter how far I run you will catch me"
"Yes, but I'm not your enemy, Toshiro" Ichigo implored him "you gotta believe me"
"Then let me go"
"What?" Ichigo was taken aback.
"If you want me to trust you then let me go" Toshiro said coldly.
If he couldn't run, then he'd simply have to make this enemy let him go.
"I can't do that"
Toshiro's eyes narrowed; Ichigo had never seen so much distrust before, if he was honest with himself it bothered him more than he'd expected. There was nothing in those huge blue eyes except doubt and suspicion. And the worst part was he couldn't think of one good reason to make Toshiro stay. He had no idea how to gain the Captain's trust.
There was an impasse between them, made louder by the silence that rang through the air; Toshiro was glaring at him like an enemy. Rangiku had been right; losing all of him memories hadn't made Toshiro stupid, it had simply turned him in to a very powerful foe.
Except…Toshiro had forgotten all about the power he had.
He'd forgotten about everything.
Even his attack on all the Soul Reapers and his escape from Squad Four; sure, Toshiro had escaped using his power but it seemed he was either unaware that it was him using the power or he didn't know how to control it.
The air was cold around them because Toshiro didn't know how to control his spiritual pressure; the only reason why Renji and the others hadn't picked up on it was because they hadn't realised Toshiro didn't know how to flash step, they'd assumed the chilliness was simply trace that had been left behind.
That gave Ichigo an advantage, but whether he should use it or not was another matter; sure, now he knew he could track Toshiro down, but that wouldn't gain the young Soul Reaper's trust. Obtaining Toshiro's trust was more important than proving he could track the Soul Reaper down and lock him up.
"Alright" the substitute decided, "you can go"
Toshiro eyes sharpened; he hadn't expected Ichigo to agree and now the substitute had the young Captain didn't believe a word of it "what's the catch?"
"You have to make a deal with me"
There, a catch. Just like he'd expected.
"What kind of deal?"
"I'm going to let you go, but I want you to meet me later"
"No way in hell" was that all? No, there had to be something else to it "what happens if I don't show up?"
"Then I'll track you down until I find you, and when I find you I'll hand you over. You'll become a prisoner and they'll lock you away until they've run all the tests they want. You'll be at their mercy and believe me, they can be cruel"
"I see, but what if I do meet with you?"
"Then I'll protect you. I'll prove to you that you can trust me" Ichigo answered "and I'll help you remember who you are. That's what you want, isn't it?"
Toshiro didn't answer; he watched Ichigo for a moment, wondering about the intensity in his face. In his head he wasn't able to quell the curiosity; he couldn't deny his interest in his forgotten memories? But was this real? He couldn't tell. And what was with the sudden change of heart? A moment ago this unknown stranger had been dead set against his escape, and now he was letting it happen.
There was something wrong.
He didn't know what, but something had changed.
This Ichigo Kurosaki had thought of some trick to fool him.
"No, this is a trap. Something is wrong, I don't trust you"
"You have to, it's your only option" Ichigo replied, it wasn't looking good but he rallied anyway "look, there's a huge open area not far from here, it's called the training grounds. You can't miss it. I want you to meet me there at dawn tomorrow"
"I won't be there, if you're stupid enough to let me go now then that's your own fault"
"You have to be there"
"Why?"
"Because you have to put your trust in me" Ichigo's brow furrowed; something in the air felt different. He wasn't the best at spiritual pressure, but he could have sworn there was a great surge of it moving. It had to be Renji and the others. He was running out of time "I can show you who you used to be, but in order for me to tell you everything about your life I need you to have faith in me"
"I don't see why I should listen to anything you say"
"Because I know you, Toshiro, you hate not knowing something. And right now having no clue who you are is driving you crazy, isn't it? You want to know if your name really is Toshiro, you want to know if I'm telling the truth"
Toshiro said nothing.
"Please, I'm asking you to put your trust in me. If you do, I swear I won't let you down, I'll never lie to you or hide anything from you, just trust me"
He'd said all he could say. Now all he could do was let Toshiro go and hope he would return. Rangiku was going to kill him. The cool air around him shifted a little, whether it was changing with Toshiro's moods Ichigo wasn't sure; maybe it meant Toshiro was unsure about disbelieving everything he heard. Maybe he was desperate enough to find out who he was to meet Ichigo the next morning.
The substitute could only hope.
And there we go. Now, I know this side of the plot has rather pushed back the whole Yaoi part of the story, but just give it a little time. Now that Toshiro has no memories he won't know what's against the rules or not. Catch my drift?
Anyway, thanks for reading!
Please leave a review.
Kiki
Kizzes!
