If she really thought about it, Rachel Barbara Berry would say the first day she was truly jealous of Noah Puckerman was on the last weekend of February in junior year. Of course if anyone asked her she'd say it was the day he beat up Jacob Ben Israel for stealing a pair of her underwear in eighth grade, that was supposed to be her punch. Rachel may be against violence but some people were just bound to be an exception to that rule. Jew Fro was one of them.
Rachel shook her head as music continued to invade her ears, she couldn't for the life of her figure out why she thought this would be a good idea. Stumbling slightly, she attempted to move further up the stairs unbelievably grateful her fathers had decided to finally use her anniversary gift to them and spend the week in The Bahamas.
At 16 it had not taken too much persuading to get them to agree to her staying at her place for the week instead of heading over to Noah's. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend the week there it was just she liked to occasionally be reminded of her independence. Still she was sure it came as no surprise to anyone when Noah showed up on her doorstep, Neil tucked under his arm, waiting for her to invite him in out of courtesy considering he had his own key.
Tripping on the step, she quickly grabbed onto the rail to prevent a more serious fall groaning slightly when her stomach lurched. Hearing a few snots and laughs from just beyond the landing, Rachel felt a ball of lead form in her stomach as she tried to form a coherent enough statement to do damage control.
It was too late. She knew that. Still as she righted herself at the top of the stairs she noticed a half-dressed Brittany, alongside a giggling Mercedes who's hand was poised right on the handle of Rachel's door.
"No!" Rachel threw herself in front of the girls in a poor attempt at the tackle she'd perfected over the years with Noah's help. As she leaned against the door trying to keep from swaying, she heard Tina's distressed cry from within the room followed by Kurt's horrified squeal.
There was nothing she could do now.
"Let me out!"
Rachel moved back from the door, turning the handle and trying to keep a straight face despite knowing there was nothing she could say to salvage this.
As the door swung open, Rachel turned away from her hidden shame as she heard Brittany and Mercedes' gasp of shock.
"It's like the anti-Rachel. My eyes, they just can't take all the chaos. It's not clean, there's no organisation. It's a complete mess. Someone catch me."
As the only sober one among a group of incomprehensibly drunk teenagers, Kurt's dramatic fall didn't have the ending he'd hoped for, instead leaving him lying in a pile of Rachel's dirty clothes.
Noah walked out of the opposite bathroom as Kurt let out another high pitched squeal and Rachel heard him groan in time with her, as the inhuman sound Kurt made bounced around in her - and presumably his - head. Noticing that he'd accidentally gotten their undivided attention, she cast her eyes away as he dragged his hand across his face, his sharp eyes taking in the scene in front of him.
Knowing she likely looked like a mess Rachel scuffed her foot against the carpet berating herself for letting this get so far out of hand. She knew Noah had managed to lock the liquor cabinet eventually but she knew they'd all had more than the safe limit.
"Berry, my stash wasn't wear you said you would put it for me so I searched your room until I found it. Sorry 'bout the mess."
Rachel blinked quickly as she tried to make sense of what Noah was doing for her. No one - not even Kurt - would question the legitimacy of his claim. It was exactly the sort of thing he would do. It wouldn't matter to them that he'd changed since the truth about Beth had been uncovered. They wouldn't notice that he hadn't slushied one of them since the day he started glee or the way the slushies had decreased in their attacks to the point that they only received one or two a week collectively. They wouldn't see the truth behind the ATM robbery - no matter how misguided. And more importantly they'd never believe that Miss Prim and Proper Rachel Berry was a grade A slob.
Unsure whether she was feeling guilt or gratitude, Rachel sighed as Kurt cast one last disdainful look at the mess before turning his eyes on Noah and frowning.
"I'm going to drive Blaine, Tina and Mercedes home now. Finn's already gone, he took Quinn, Lauren and Santana since they were going to collectively destroy your basement." Kurt shuddered as he caught sight of the mess and wondered how none of them had gotten a chance to stop Puck. "Anyway, Artie's cousin picked him up and that just leaves you with Sam and Mike, who are asleep downstairs, along with Brittany and Puck."
With that said, Rachel watched as Kurt turned on his heel leading a still giggling Tina and Mercedes away.
"Come on Brit, let's get you into some clothes."
Rachel started as she heard Noah's soft voice. Smiling sheepishly as she lead Brittany into her room, she gently lowered the blonde onto the bed as she searched for something large enough for the tall girl to wear.
Finally catching the edge of the shirt she was looking for she smiled slightly as she recalled the memory of how it ended up in her possession.
"This should fit." As she watched Brittany tug at the worn material as the two of them manoeuvred her into it, Rachel felt a stab of jealousy run through her. It was bad enough Noah was dating Lauren, but now she had to watch Brittany walk around in his clothes.
"Isn't this Puck's football jersey from eighth grade?" Before either of them got a chance to answer her question, Brittany had curled up on Rachel's cluttered bed, snores slipping from her lips in a matter of seconds.
"I didn't realise you still had that. I figured Ma had thrown it away once I outgrew it."
"You gave it to me." Rachel looked up at him shyly, her words having escaped her mouth before she realised it. She momentarily wondered if he understood just what she meant by that, but she forgot he was her Noah. So as she watched him cast his eyes around her room no doubt realising 80% of her possessions were things he gave her. She knew he got it.
Feeling him slip his arm around her waist and pulling her towards the door, Rachel moved with him.
Easing open his door, they found Neil sleeping on the bench in the alcove and matching smiles tugged at their lips. "Did you come up here earlier just to play with him? You never left?"
Rachel had noticed almost immediately when Noah had disappeared from the party two hours earlier, she had thought he just needed some space. Nevertheless she felt alone without him there and when he hadn't reappeared she'd thought he'd left. He was the only one there who really cared about her and she felt awkward that she wasn't sure how to act around him anymore now that he had Lauren.
It wasn't that they hadn't been friends when when he was dating someone previously but this was the first time she knew of that he was monogamously dating the girl. Sure, she hated the way Lauren treated him sometimes but Rachel figured it was time he trusted someone enough to only be with her. Noah might have been her best friend but she was capable of acknowledge his 'playerness'. This time though, it was different. This time had an uneasy feeling settling in her stomach.
Rachel sighed as Noah wrapped his hand around hers, pulling her to his bed. Laughing as he flopped face down onto the pillow before pulling her down next to him, Rachel couldn't help the smile that tugged across her lips.
"Noah I have to change." Feeling her heart rate increase as he reluctantly let go of her hand, she moved towards his suitcase, rummaging through it until she found what she was looking for, a 'for Rach' tag might of well have been put on their for all of its subtlety.
As the soft material settled around her, she tiptoed back to the bed not surprised to see Noah asleep, his mouth open and his tongue sticking out. Twisting the edge of the jersey around her finger, she briefly wondered how it was he got away with his flavour of the week not being allowed to wear it.
Feeling a wet nose nudge her foot, Rachel picked Neil up, cradling him against her chest as she eased in next to Noah. As Neil settled between them, Rachel smiled as she heard Noah sigh her name.
With the green eyed monster temporarily abated, she thought about her actions tonight, feeling her cheeks grow warm in embarrassment. Turning on her side, Rachel gently traced the scar above his eyebrow remembering being seven and having to hold the towel there while they waited for the doctor to see them.
Shaking herself out of her memories she wondered what in the world had possessed her to kiss Blane. The copious amounts of alcohol she'd indulged in were obvious, but it was more than that.
Suddenly the cold words that were spouted from drunken lips rung in her ears. "It'll never be you." First it was Lauren, then it was Quinn, then it was Santana. She's not even sure who actually uttered the words but Noah's past seemed to be haunting her regardless.
Rough skin slowly brushed under her eye, nothing more than a whisper against her skin but as Rachel opened her eyes she saw Noah's concerned hazel eyes peering down at her.
"Ray?"
"I'm sorry." Rachel wasn't even sure what she was actually apologising for but as he pulled her against his chest, positioning them so that her head was tucked under his chin, Rachel only found herself crying harder.
As Noah whispered to her trying to break through her tear filled haze, Rachel wondered if her tears would ever stop. Feeling Noah lacing their fingers she momentarily wondered what he was going to do before she felt Neil's soft fur underneath her hand relaxing her somewhat. Closing her eyes once more she focused on Noah's breathing trying to pace her own to match it.
"There's nothing to be sorry for. There never will."
As her body calmed, Rachel buried herself further against him allowing herself to accept the comfort he offered, Lauren be damned.
You see Rachel knew if anyone asked when she'd first been jealous of Noah Puckerman she'd lie, not because she was ashamed of him but rather she wasn't sure they'd be able to look at her the same way again. Because that night, curled in his arms she realised he was a much better person than she could ever hope of being. He was selfless when it mattered and would do anything to protect the ones he loved. He was anything but a Lima Loser.
