The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same -

You're not to blame.

One Month Later

Sometimes Elliot couldn't remember what it was like before they made love. It was passionate, painful and such a release after all these years of denial and guilt. Tasting the blood and flesh beneath him satisfied an almost decade-old longing. His heart felt full again.

But there was something sadder about Olivia. She snuck around corners. Sometimes she'd sit on the roof of the precinct and stare at the stars for hours as everyone hunted frantically for her.

She had become Monica. Her personality had become deeper and darker. Or maybe it always was; now it was just closer to the surface.

And she'd killed someone. You can't hide what you've done from the eyes of God. They both knew all killing was wrong. Even to kill someone in self-defense can weigh on the psyche. There are only so many stars above to wish on. And up there, above the church bells and the chimney-tops, Olivia just watched and waited under the orange dusk for some sort of end.

"Our Lord works in mysterious ways," she said.

Elliot would look out with her, but there was nothing to see on the horizon.

XXXXXX

She called him one day from the docks. Olivia had gone MIA for a few days, taking some comp time and just trying to collect her thoughts. He walked the slick boards, looking through the cracks at the whitecaps roiling against the stilts. Olivia was standing on the end of a pier, her auburn hair glistening in the wind. There the water was dark and cold.

"What is it?" he asked, lightly touching her arm.

"I have something I want you to see," she said quietly. There was still a scar on her forehead. It stood out in the sun as Olivia turned and handed Elliot a piece of blue paper.

Dear Monica,

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about who we are and why things turned out the way they did.

I can't apologize for Mom. She held me under her thumb for such a long time. It's sad that you never knew her because sometimes she really was great and took care of me. But mainly we were afraid of each other. I hated the violence and she didn't like staring down a mistake. For a long time I thought she was raped and that my father was a criminal. After finding out about you, I wonder if it just wasn't a cop out so she wouldn't have to explain being young and dumb. Silly of me to say that, doing what I do.

Your father was a Native American professor. I saw his picture; he was very handsome. I doubt he knew of my mother's pregnancy. You favor him and I'm sure that's where your mystical side comes from. I get feelings about things, too, but that's intutiton at play, I think. He died in a plane crash when you were very young.

Did you love your adopted family? What little my aunts knew was that they had money. I'm very proud you went to Brown. The X Files surrounded you with very smart people. Some are and some aren't at my precinct.

Are you and John married? My damn intuition-or whatever- tells me you were a little wary of Elliot. Sometimes it's like we can't stand each other and others I feel like I've known him for an eternity. He's the only person who can absolutely infuriate me and then calm me right down.

"I wanted to write her a note," Olivia said. "I wanted to say everything my mother couldn't and promise I'd take care of her if anything happened to John."

Elliot was surprised by the flatness of Olivia's tone. It seemed a little hopeless.

"I don't know you anymore," he said sadly, reaching out to smooth a stray strand of hair from her forehead.

"Did you ever?"

"No," Elliot said, staring out at the black water.

She took the sheet of paper and tossed it into the waves. They both watched it sink. "Maybe we'll be together in heaven," Olivia said, leaving him momentarily confused.

"What do you mean?" Elliot said, wondering if she meant Monica or him. Olivia didn't answer.

They both watched the paper float away, riding the crest of the waves.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Do you remember when we first met?" Olivia asked as they walked away.

"Sure."

"I felt like I'd always known you. It wasn't like we were meeting for the first time, it was like getting re-acquainted."

Elliot stopped and cocked his head to the side. Olivia kept walking and talking.

"Maybe there is some truth to past lives.I can see the desert and the road and taste the dust in my mouth right now. It's like our present lives folded over and just touched the past," she babbled. "I sound full of shit, right?"

Elliot caught up to her. He just shrugged his shoulders, at a loss for what to say. They walked down the dock hand in hand, feeling the wind buffett their prone backs.

It would have heartened Olivia to know that a little over a year later, Anthony Oliver Doggett was born. Monica thought of Olivia every day, wishing the two of them could have puzzled the pregnancy out together. Olivia didn't know about her nephew until Munch got an 8x10 envelope in the mail. Inside was a picture of Monica, John and Anthony posed in front of a teepee. Monica was holding a sheet of paper - and with the help of a magnifying glass, Olivia was able to read the writing on it.

I love you, Sis is all it said.

The End