Conversation

"No, it's okay, Kendall. I want you to go" I insured him. He and Carlos were taking the girls to the local rink to teach them how to play hockey.

"James you'll stay here with me, right?" I asked sweetly. He looked like he was about to throw up.

"Yea, I need some help with math if I want to graduate next year and now is the best time since Logan can't do much else. And I can carry him everywhere he wants to go, so I think we'll survive together" He lied. He smiled his million-dollar-smile.

Camille was eyeing us worriedly. I gave her a warning look. She wasn't allowed to tell. It had to be a secret. It would be a secret forever, if it was up to me. Unless James tried something like this again.

"Then it's okay, I think. See you tonight, sweetie" Said Kendall happily. He kissed my forehead and then followed the others.

From: Camille 14:00
Message: Spero vos scitis. Vorenus sentire nocentem aliquid factum(1)

I growled and stared angrily at my phone. James obviously thought it had something to do with him, since he flinched and stepped back. Which was true, of course, but not in the way he thought. I wasn't mad at him.

"Sorry. Camille has been irritating me all day" I said regretful. James chuckled nervously.

"Why?" He asked, probably to distract me from the conversation we had to have, not knowing he fell right into it.

"Because Camille heard us talking yesterday. She only heard us fighting, but she concluded that you had to be the one who pushed me of the stairs, since you're the last person I had any kind of contact with. I wish she didn't know, this makes everything a lot more complicate" I explained. All the blood flooded out of James' face.

"I'm so sorry, Logan!" He whispered. "I had no idea that you fell! I felt so rejected that I wasn't thinking and just let go of you on top of the stairs, I wanted to be as far away from you as possible. I didn't even hear you fall. Carlos was yelling at me for being so stupid to let you prank me too and I didn't want to think of you anymore so I just…" His voice died slowly.

I gave him a sad smile. "It was an accident. I was never mad about it, I just lost my balance when I punched you. I've never been angry or anything about that. What we do have to talk about though, is that kiss. What the hell was that?"

"It was my way of showing you, that you have a choice" He said softly, not meeting my gaze. Apparently his shoes were much more interesting than I was.

"James… Listen, even if I had the same feelings for you as you have for me, we could never date each other. I don't know if you noticed, but Kendall is extremely possessive when it comes to me. I don't exactly know why. I only know that it would completely destroy him if I leave him. I have no clue how far he would take it if he found out I left him for his best friend, but I'm not going to find out. Ever. Thereby, I don't have the same feelings for you as I have for him" That was a little harsh. James got a look of pain on his face when he heard those words, but I just didn't know a gentle way to tell him and make sure he understands it.

"I already thought something like that" He mumbled bitterly. He finally met my eyes. "It's going to take a while, but hopefully I'll get over it someday. Just try… Just try to be a little considerate with me, okay? It's pretty painful seeing you two groping each other every single minute" His voice sounded stronger than first, but I still didn't trust it completely.

"I'll try" I said sadly. I stuck my arms out to him in the gesture that was normally only for Kendall. James made a noise that was either a sob or a laugh and sat down next to me so he could hug me. It was perhaps a little closer than you would expect two friends to get, but if it was what James needed then I had no problems with it.

"I'm so grateful you haven't told anything to Kendall and Carlos" He said when he let go of me.

"They don't have to know. I forgive you and that's what matters since I'm the injured one. I want to keep it like this, it will take a while before Kendall and Carlos stop asking who pushed me, but they'll get over it. I still don't like lying to them that much and I hope Camille keeps her word and doesn't tell anyone. She keeps texting me about it" I complained.

"Just, be careful with those texts? It would be pretty bad if Kendall was reading with you over your shoulder" Warned James.

I smirked. "He can't read them" I was very proud of this 'secret' language since not that much people could read it.

James raised an eyebrow. "A little more explanation…?"

"Camille and I are texting in Latin" I grinned when James' eyes almost rolled out of his head.

"You keep surprising me. When did you find time to learn that?"

"My father is a doctor, James(2). Earlier, it was required to speak Latin if you wanted to go to med school. So he talked to me in that language when I was younger, so that way I would learn Latin quicker. And I took a class at school, for like four years, so I nailed the language"

"I should pay better attention. Did you have any more subjects I don't know about""No, this was pretty much it"

"You still have to be careful, though. If Kendall or Carlos sees this, they'll know you keep secrets from them"

"I have a password on my inbox" I was very proud of that password. I thought I actually had a good one this time.

"You're absolutely horrible at passwords. Give me your phone" He said sternly.

I gave it to him and was really disappointed when he cracked it in almost a minute.

"It's too predictable. Try something new and just watch your phone a little better. Or just erase those messages"

"Fine" I pouted. That password had been genius. It wasn't good for my self-esteem James guessed it this quick.

James snickered softly. "Let's watch TV. Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm good"

We watched some stupid show for a while that gave me a headache. I was glad our conversation ended this well. The last thing I wanted was losing one of my friends over something like this. I felt James gazes at me every once in a while, but I didn't say anything of it. He just needed time. And I was planning on giving him just that. It would become slightly more difficult when Kendall and Carlos found out, though.

"Logan?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you have any idea what kind of reaction you get out of people?"

He got my attention. "You mean I bore them to death with my endless stream of useless facts? That they would love to strangle me after ten minutes? I'm very much aware of that effect, thank you" I chuckled.

"No, not that effect. I'm talking about the one quality that makes everyone you meet fall for you. How everybody loves you immediately. I've seen it happen many times, Logan. First Kendall, Camille, Rachel, Jo –she just likes Kendall more-, me, I even saw Carlos looking hungrily at you one time. Two weeks ago the blond cashier in the market, the pizza guy, Mr. Bitters' niece, all the girls at the Palm Woods! Katie is too young, but she adores you. And than I didn't even mention thousands of fans all over the world"

The worst thing about that story: James was dead serious. He wasn't even drunk. I gaped at him.

"You make it worse by acting like a lost puppy and walk after everybody that's nice to you. You're so devoted and nobody has problems with it, because nobody can resist you" James ended his monologue and met my eyes, grinning.

"You had no idea, did you?"

"…" I shook my head.

"Get used to it"

"I don't believe you"

"You go to the first person you see and he or she will tell you exactly what I just told you"

"Keep on dreaming, James" I said unbelievably.

"This is why Kendall is so possessive and overdose it by being protective all the time. You just said you didn't know why, but I think I have a pretty good idea"

"A little more explanation, please"

"Kendall has to watch people throw themselves at you all day. He has to show them you're taken, for his own sanity. I think I would have done the exact same thing in his situation"

Well, he had a point there. It was just really weird hearing from other people how much effect you have on other people.

"I need to process this"

James nodded and went back to watching TV. Which we did for the rest of the afternoon. We had fun together and I was happy about that. I hoped it helped James with his inappropriate feelings towards me. Besides a very awkward toilet-scène, everything went just fine. I had been scared he would avoid me.

At seven o'clock our friends came back with Chinese food.

"Logan!" Yelled Kendall as soon as he walked threw the door. The next thing I knew I almost rolled of the couch, because Kendall threw himself at me -notice the irony.

"Oh, Kendall. A little bit more careful, please" I said when I felt my ribs. "Where does this come from so suddenly?" I watched James hiding his face and walk away to the kitchen.

"I missed you" He whispered in my ear. I blushed.

"You've only been away for a few hours"

"So?"

"Then how… Never mind. I'm hungry, did you bring spring rolls?" I asked hopefully.

Kendall smirked and lifted me up. "Of course"

After diner, we played poker with potato Chips as stake.

"So you still have no idea who pushed you down the stairs?" Asked Jo.

I flinched at the question. I glanced at James and Camille. Camille was staring stoically at one point at the wall behind us and James had a difficult time not showing how scared he was.

"No, I have no clue" I said convincingly. Not.

Shit, Shit, Shit! Kendall had seen me glancing at James and Camille before answering and was paying a lot more attention than he had before. He studied my face and I saw that he noticed I didn't tell the truth.

"And James and Carlos? They only had been a few feet away from you when it happened" Said Jo, who clearly had no intention on letting the subject go.

"We heard nothing. Carlos was yelling at me for being so stupid as to let Logan prank me too" Said James stiff.

Camille glared at him. She really had to stop that! She wasn't as careful as she should be. I really wanted her to shut her mouth about this subject.

"You could have paid attention when you were walking up those stairs. You must have seen somebody standing there who could have pushed Logan" Snapped Carlos. He didn't like it that James made it seem as if it was his fault they didn't notice.

But you can't see youself…

"That's enough. You don't have to be mad at each other. Neither of you pushed Logan down the stairs" Soothed Rachel.

Camille laughed sarcastically. "Non industria(3)" She mumbled, making sure I was the only one who could hear it.

"Clausum(4)" I coughed. None of the others had noticed we we're actually talking to each other, besides James naturally.

"Are there no cameras by those stairs?" Asked Stephanie suddenly.

"No, there's just one that focuses on the door to the roof. You only see the people walking in and out" Said Carlos sadly. I relaxed visibly. Something that got me some weird looks from Kendall.

"Than our only hope is that the pusher decides to reveal himself" Said Camille. She raised an eyebrow, but didn't look at me or James.

"I hope so" Said Kendall defeated.

And with that our conversation ended. Carlos won the game and made sure everybody knew and remembered by going on and on about it. At finally, we just decided to go to sleep.

1-I hope you know what you're doing

2-In the Netherlands you still have to take Latin in High School before you can study for being a doctor. I'm just taking Latin for fun

3-You're kidding

4-Shut up

First a really great thanks to Storylover158 for being so patient with me and doing an AMAZING JOB correcting all my terrible mistakes and giving me some of the best ideas for my story. Thank you so much. You're an angel.

Second, I have this mentor at school and he's gay. Ever since I started ready Kogan fanfiction and everything I haven't been able to look at him without laughing my ass off. He thinks it is because he's funny (he is, but it's not what I'm laughing about) Coolest teacher ever ^^

Third, I really love you guys for all your reviews on my story! It makes me wanting to write more, so you guys rock!