IX
"I'll kill him! I'll kill the black-hearted Philistine!"
Ben's hands were clenched at his sides, his heart raced furiously, and it was with some difficulty that he spoke the words through gritted teeth. Lissie look up tearfully from her seat on the ground and covered his fist with her own shaky hand.
"Ben, please... You're frightening me."
At her touch, his gaze softened, and he knelt beside her to tuck the twisted foot back under her skirts. "But I cannot sit by and do nothing as each time 'tis a worse injury than the last!"
"It wasn't his fault that the horse spooked," she said weakly.
"You should not have been sent to break a wild horse," he insisted. "Any real man would have known such a thing." Ben cupped her porcelain face between his hands. "I do not wish to lose you."
"You will not. It... it does not hurt so bad... when I do not walk on it."
"It is so bruised and misshaped it would be a miracle if you were able to walk on it at all."
Lissie hung her head. She had not been able to walk on it, and instead hobbled, dragging her useless limb behind her to reach the river as quickly as she was able before Ben saw how sorry a state she was in. Of course it was all for nothing, as he noticed when she did not leap up to greet him. And once questioned, she could never lie to Ben.
"Lissie..." Ben said patiently. "When Mr. Merriman gave me my rifle, he said that a weapon should be used only with the thought of protection or it becomes a device for evil. I can think of no better way to protect you than ensuring Jiggy Nye can never hurt you again. He deserves to die for what he's done to you."
"You musn't speak that way!"
"But I must do something!"
"If you kill Jiggy Nye, my... my father, you'll be imprisoned." Her eyes grew wide with terror, "I couldn't live if you were imprisoned!"
He frowned, wishing desperately that he was a gentleman of means who could tempt the greedy villain into letting Lissie go. "Couldn't you stay here? In the woods?"
"Alone? No, Ben. I would be so frightened. What would I eat?"
"There are plenty of berries. I would bring you more food, and Rose..."
"I couldn't run now if he came to find me," Lissie stopped him with a grim reminder. "I would rather go back and risk a lesser punishment than if he were to find me as a runaway. And you would be in trouble, too. Please don't risk it. I couldn't bear it if you were hurt for me. If you couldn't come and see me..." Lissie pressed her lips together, fighting back her emotions.
Ben sat down properly rather than remaining on his knees; a sign that he was there to listen whenever Lissie chose to share her heart.
She did so with a clear and steady breath that surprised as well as frightened him. "Sometimes I think of talking back on purpose so he'll thrash me until I die."
Ben choked on her name as he called to her from the dark place her mind was slipping towards. She looked up at him and it made him ache to see her eyes so full of a sadness he could not relieve. She gave him a faint smile. "But then I think how I need only endure a few more hours before I'm here again, with you, and then I can endure it. I tell myself, 'Ben will be at the river. He'll miss you if you don't go,' and no matter how much it hurts, or how badly I want to make it stop forever, I can live through all of it knowing you'll be here."
"Oh, Lissie!" Ben did not bother to conceal his distress. He cried on her shoulder while she clung to him for dear life, shaking now and then from her own sobs.
It was the most difficult parting they had yet been through. Ben would not allow her to even rise without help, and lifted her in his arms as one might carry a child. She was light enough to be a child still, and he marvelled how such a slight creature could live, and breathe, and depend on him so entirely. Suddenly, she seemed a great deal more heavy than before, though he would never in a thousand years protest such a weight.
Lissie stroked his cheek in a soothing rhythm, curious at the newly formed stubble that graced it. "Ben," she murmured as they approached the tannery, leaning her head against his chin, "I do love you ever so much."
He stopped in his tracks, turning to kiss the delicate fingers that rested near his lips. "I cannot let you go back to him."
"But you must," she said, and her returning sigh tickled his neck.
He took a step forward... and faltered again. "This is not right, Lissie. Please come with me to Mr. Merriman's. Once he knows you he won't turn you away, I'm certain."
"No, Ben. I won't cause trouble for the man who's been so kind to you. Let me down, now. I can walk from here."
Ben knew she spoke out of a terror of Jiggy Nye catching them, and not a true confidence in her ability. She steadied herself by his arms, and tried to smile. "I will be especially good so that he has no reason to strike me."
"You are always good," he said sadly. "There is no reason for his cruelty except the devil's hold on him."
She had no answer, but offered him a small kiss before limping away towards the miserable place she was forced to call home.
It was several hours before Ben was able to tear himself away and return to Merriman's shop.
Author's Note:
Have I missed anyone's special snippets? I don't recall giving a teaser for this week, so I wish to know if I was a horrible person and forgot to give it out, or if I simply didn't have reviews to respond to! Oh! And remember, I can't send you a teaser snippet if you're not signed in as a FF user, or you have Private Messages turned off.
But even if I couldn't send you my thanks through a PM, I'd like you all to know I really do appreciate whenever you take the time to tell me how you're enjoying the story. Truly. Reviews make me happier than a Cole in a camp full of soldiers. British soldiers, that is.
