Author's Notes: I know I've been going back and forth with humor and angst. Hint number one, I write the angstier chappy's when I most depressed myself. But in all honesty there is a lot to Moiya's past that explains her behavior and reactions to everything. I hope I've at least touched on some of those things and given enough hints to help you as the reader better understand her. Like with all children, abuse suppresses their true self, and it takes someone special and time to bring it out of them. Moiya has a lot more to her personality then sadness and anger. I hope Ive teased you with a little bit of what's to come in the first 9 chapters. The occasional outburst and attitude towards Kakashi all plays apart in her healing and future chapters. So it's important to me that I spend time building up the characters like I have. I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. And I promise happier times will come. Any suggestions please feel free to share.
A Precious Gift
Part 1: A Secret Revealed
Chapter 9
Moiya scooted further under the bush, pressing herself up against the large rock, trying to get a better view from her hiding place. She had spotted the group of kids when she was searching for a place to hide. Walking hand in hand, being led from one of the large buildings by a man wearing clothes like Namikaze-sama. They were much younger than she was, still slightly pudgy in the cheeks and smiling at each other. Oblivious to the fact that terrible things existed in the world. Moiya was fascinated by them.
She had seen children playing before. But not since the days when she had watched them from the cracks in the fence surrounding her home. After the girl had thrown the rock and made her throw up she remembered unconsciously rubbing the spot on her head. When she was no longer allowed to venture outside of the estate it was the only way she ever saw anyone other than her father and the family attendants. She was told it was for her own safety, but she knew it was because her father didn't want to deal with her any more than he had to.
Although the children she watched now were different somehow. Happier. Friendlier even. The boys were actually playing with the girls and they weren't being cruel the way she knew boys could be. 'Girls have only one purpose.' Moiya thought darkly. Her fathers words always fresh in her mind. He haunted her no matter where she was. The curious fascination for the group of kids faded from her eyes. Slowly being replaced with something more painful as she glared at them running wild in the clearing. 'What makes them so special?' she thought angrily, closing her eyes to try and stop the tears from falling.
"Because they're not you."
She wondered briefly what it would have been like to grow up here. What if Namikaze-sama had been her father instead? Would she be out there running around free to laugh and play with real friends? Would she be special like them? Or would she still be treated the same? Then she remembered what she had done that day. The reason she was hiding in the bushes, covered in dirt and ruining her new dress. All the 'what if's' disappeared as she remembered.
The shocked look on Minato's face. The angry merchants muffled voice. The people gathering around and whispering.
Some of it all too familiar.
Moiya's eyes slowly became unfocused as she stared past the laughing children into a far away place.
She had found the old bear in a box by the fence with some other items that were being thrown away. Things her father had decided were worthless. But the little bear had caught her eye and the nice lady that had promised to take her away told her a story about her mother. She had explained that the bear was always meant for her. A gift her mother had never been able to give to Moiya because she had died the day she was born.
From that day on, Moiya had hidden the bear away until after dark and only taken it out when she was sure no one would find her with it. She knew she wouldn't be allowed to keep it if her father found out. But that day. The day the boy had shoved her. She had taken it with her. Hiding it under her cloak as she headed to her secret place outside the village.
If she hadn't had it with her, he wouldn't have found it when it fell into the snow at her feet.
If she hadn't been so selfish to want to show her bear her secret spot, he wouldn't have destroyed it.
If she had left it hidden safely under her bed, she wouldn't have hurt him in a fit of anger.
The shocked looks. The whispering. The angry faces.
"Who does she think she is?"
"Doesn't know her place."
"All that power wasted on a girl."
And then he came to take her home.
Moiya's attention snapped back to the present as she heard the ear piercing scream. Laughing, the little girl darted from behind the man, being chased by several other kids "We found you! Your it!" they chanted.
The crowd of people, Minato's shocked face, the whispering, the angry merchant.
Some of it all too familiar.
This time she ran.
It would hurt too much to see his blue eyes full of anger. Disappointment. Regret.
Closing her eyes and resting her head on her arms, Moiya could see Minato's face as clearly as if he were standing in front of her at that very moment. Then his blue eyes hardened and turned a familiar green. Memories of another dress she had ruined suddenly popped into her mind. Something she had never forgotten, just hidden away. Because the first memory of realizing your father hated you was more painful than the ones that came after.
She must have been very young she thought remembering how huge her father had seemed that day as she stared up at into his angry face. The frog in her chubby hands fell to the ground and hopped away. Her first memory of him. Her first dress. Her first time tasting the now familiar metallic flavor of blood.
"How many times have I told you to stay out of the mud!"
So many faces and words over the years.
"Are you stupid? You never listen!"
As far back as she could remember.
"Trash. Why couldn't you have been a boy?"
No matter what she did to make him happy.
"I told you never to use the families kekkai genkai!"
All of them angry and hurtful.
"You're a girl and girls are only good for one thing and it is not to carry on as if you know anything about my families power!"
Even more hurtful than the physical pain she had felt.
"If you hadn't killed your mother I would have been done with you when you were born and gone on to have a son! But I got stuck with you and you'll damn well do what I tell you!"
Moiya shivered slightly and pulled herself into a tighter ball, trying to swat away the annoying thing sniffing her face. It wasn't until a very loud sniff in her ear that she realized she wasn't dreaming and finally opened her eyes. Her sluggish brain trying to register where she was as the sniffing started again and a wet nose nudged her cheek. Moiya pushed the pug away and watched as he happily disappeared out of her line of sight. Rubbing the sleep from her puffy red eyes, the last bits of her nightmare slowly faded away with the sleep induced fog.
It was hard to tell how long she had been asleep, but it was obviously getting late she thought scanning the forest surrounding her bush. The sun was hidden behind the trees and it was cooler than it had been when she had first crawled into her hiding place. The kids she had been watching were gone, the clearing empty, devoid of any sound other than the breeze rustling the leaves. Pushing up on hands and knees, she worked her way out into the open, stopping briefly to untangle her dress from the bush.
She was completely alone. Even the pug had disappeared she thought looking around. Except for the occasional bird, the only sound she heard other than her own breathing was the breeze. And suddenly she was wishing she hadn't run away from Minato. Even if it meant being punished for the mess she had made and for ruining the dress he gave her. She doubted his punishments would be anything like her fathers.
Then remembering what she had been thinking and even dreaming about before the dog had woken her, she said it out loud as if to convince herself "He's not my father." But hearing it actually hurt rather than made her feel better. The way he had treated her in the forest, protected, her, smiled at her, cared for her, brought her to Konoha. Offered his comfort, his hugs, his home. 'He's nothing like my father.' she repeated in her mind 'But I wish he had been.'
It took longer than she remembered to find her way back to the village, but after nearly an hour of trying to remember which direction she had come from, a few buildings came into view and then the street. Looking up one end, then the other, she wasn't sure where to go next. She knew she had to find Minato unless she wanted to sleep in the street. It made her a little sad to know he wasn't looking for her. After all, if he had been, wouldn't he have found her already?
So she decided to find him instead. At least then she would know for sure if he wanted her back after what had happened. She had attacked Kakashi. Destroyed someone's property. Angered the merchant. And then ran away from it all after he had bought her a new dress. Which she had ruined. 'I wouldn't want me back.' she thought examining the damage to the dress. Dirt, moss stains, and a tear from when the bush attacked her.
So how does a ten your old, who knows nothing about the village, find someone in a place as big as Konoha seemed to be?
She thought about asking someone.
But what would she ask?
'Excuse me. Can you tell me where to find a really tall man with a childish grin and spiky blonde hair?'
Moiya looked around at the people eyeing her in her dirty pink leaf dress, with equally dirty hands and knees, a tear stained face to match. They didn't look like the type of people who would want to be asked silly questions she thought. Picking a direction, she started walking, watching the people she passed. She knew she would have to ask someone eventually. The sun was dipping even lower and would soon disappear all together.
Staring at a couple of men on the opposite side of the street, Moiya thought of what Minato had told her about the people of Konoha "I promise you. Here. In Konoha. Your surrounded by good people who would never intentionally hurt you." At least these men had clothes like Minato. So maybe she could trust them. But fighting ten years of mistrust and fear wasn't easy. Even if it sounded easy in her head. 'Just walk up to them and ask.' she scolded herself.
Biting her lower lip and wringing her hands nervously, she took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the crates, then stopped. It was turning out to be harder than she had thought, asking for help. Approaching strangers. Ignoring every instinct to run away and stay hidden. A few weeks ago she would have done just that. After all, it wasn't like she couldn't take care of herself she thought looking back at the crates behind her. 'Maybe one night wouldn't be all that bad.'
Another moment and she would have darted back behind the crates and stayed there until it got too dark for anyone to see her. But just as she started to turn, a small brown blur caught her attention. The same little brown blur that had nudged her awake. But now the blur sat just a few yards away staring at her. Glancing around quickly to see if anyone else had noticed the small pug or if maybe the owner was nearby, Moiya was surprised to see the dog sitting slightly further away, still staring at her when she looked back.
Curiosity was always her weakness. No matter how many times her father tried to beat it out of her she couldn't help herself. She often wondered if her mother had been the curious type because it was obvious she didn't get it from her him. And it was because of her insatiable curiosity she found herself following the pug up the street. When she got close, he would take off trotting ahead of her. Then sit and wait for her to catch up again.
Moiya thought this was strange behavior for a dog. But she had never had a pet before, so how would she know. It was entertaining at least. And for a brief moment she wondered if she was being lured into a trap of some sort. Maybe the men Minato and Kakashi had rescued her from had found her. Moiya stopped, almost afraid to continue following the small dog. Maybe it wasn't those men at all.
'Maybe it's him.' she thought staring at the pug as he approached and sat a few feet away. His little brown eyes watching her curiously. Her fathers face flashed in her mind and a shiver ran down her spine. The pug moved closer. Moiya stepped back. She didn't want him to find her. And suddenly she was overwhelmed with the fear of never seeing Minato again. The pug moved closer again and whimpered slightly, staring up at her. All she could think about, looking down at the persistent dog, was finding Minato before she lost him forever.
Sandaime unrolled the scroll and started reading. Anything to keep his mind off the younger man pacing past his desk, circling around past the window, only to pass by the desk again. "At least go pace somewhere else." he growled in irritation glancing over the desk just to see if there really was a worn path in the carpet. The older Hokage was beginning to wonder if he should have left the blonde where he had found him. Preparing to send out a group of jounin in search of the runaway child.
He smiled. He had never seen Minato like this before. It was cute in an annoying way he thought taking a puff of his pipe and glaring as Minato opened the door, stepped outside, then walked back in not bothering to shut the door "I wouldn't be annoying you if you hadn't suggested I stay here. What if she doesn't come back?" Minato sighed and ran a hand through his hair, giving it a tug before walking over to the couch. He knew he was acting irrationally.
But if she didn't come back soon he could simply send out Anbu to find her Minato thought, grinning a bit maniacally and settled back against the cushions, then sat forward again unable to sit still. Give him enemy shinobi and he was calm, clearheaded, ready for action. Give him a child to worry about and he was falling apart. Sandaime sighed and shook his head "She'll come back. And its important that you let her come find you. You've show her enough. Now she must decide for herself if she can trust you."
Minato looked up at his mentor "Is being a parent suppose to be this hard?" he asked, his blue eyes heavy with emotional exhaustion. Sandaime smiled. Who knew a ten year old girl could reduce the Golden Flash of Konoha to the disheveled adult he saw before him? It still amazed him how quickly and easily the young Hokage had grown attached to the girl. He wondered if the blonde even realized that he had just referred to himself as a parent "If it wasn't hard, then anyone could be a parent. Not everyone is cut out for that kind of responsibility."
Minato stared blankly at his predecessor then sighed rubbing his palms against his tired eyes "Maybe I should have listened to you in the first place." he said quietly leaning back and staring up at the ceiling. Never in all his years as a shinobi did he feel so defeated so easily. He was beginning to wonder if what he was doing for Moiya was in her best interest. He wasn't a psychologist after all. But there was something about the little girl with the bright green eyes that made him want to gather her in his arms and beat off anyone who threatened to hurt her.
But their first day hadn't gone as planned. First, she hated the clothes. Although she had looked so sweet in the dress. But he could see her point of view. It was a bit girly. Then they left the hospital with the intent of having a quick tour of the village on the way to the house. It wasn't going exactly as planned, but it wasn't a disaster either. At least not until Kakashi showed up and opened his big, fat, arrogant mouth 'Baka Hatake! Genius my ass!'
Sandaime watched as Minato propped his chin up on his hand and stared across the room, his eyes narrowing in irritation.
The day wasn't suppose to end with him waiting rather impatiently in the Hokage mansion for the frightened child to find him. She was suppose to be enjoying her new room and having dinner. He noted the time glancing up at the clock before glaring across the room again. Maybe he could get her to smile, even laugh at one of his goofy jokes. 'Where did he go wrong?' he wondered leaning back again and frowning at Sandaime.
What he had said about not everyone being cut out for parenting still echoing in the back of his mind. "How am I suppose to know if I'm cut out for this?" he asked quietly. Sandaime smiled and nodded towards the door "When they come back regardless of what you think you did wrong." Moiya stood in the open doorway, holding the pug in her arms, a chunin standing behind her "She said she was looking for you Yondaime-sama."
