AW#9

It had been a long quiet winter, Stoic thought to himself as he stepped out his door, on his way to the village square. It was the first day that truly felt like spring. He heaved a deep breath of the clean spring air and wondered to himself what Hiccup was doing, and most of all, if he would be back like he said. The dragon raids had been sparse that winter, he wondered if he had Hiccup to thank for that. Because the raids had been so light there had been plenty of food and little sickness that winter, so in that respect the village was thriving. There had been several babes born in the last months of winter and they had all survived, that alone was a feat to be celebrated.

Stoic would feel better celebrating if he knew how his son fared.

Today really felt like spring! I thought to myself as I stretched in the sun surrounded by dragons. The warmth of the day certainly made them more active, and hungry Hiccup had complained. I snickered at his complaining, as I noticed it had seemed to make him hungrier too… well it was about time that boy had a growth spurt.

We now had a good 20 dragons on the island now, and Hiccup and I had started planning an attack against the Queen in earnest. We had a number of different kinds of dragons and had found that a number of them were incredibly destructive teams, the nadders and changewings for example, who knew acid was so explosive? Hiccup apparently did… he had muttered something about a forge accident and been unwilling to say much else, I was guessing that it might have something to do with the scars on his arm.

Training the dragons was a good distraction, I missed my family, even my 3 older brothers who were complete jerks most of the time. I missed mom and dad, and even my sister-in-laws, whom I hadn't really ever gotten along with before.

The winter had passed mostly peacefully, there was some tension between myself and Hiccup. Not that Stormfly would let us alone long enough to explore said tensions, which was probably for the best even if it was very annoying. Two teenagers locked in a small space together, even if it was out of necessity was hard.

'Dragons!' I told myself 'let's just concentrate on the dragons!' It was better if I didn't drift off on to other things right now, I had a job to do.

"I don't want to go back." Hiccup told me one night. "I want to explore the world, see what's out there!"

I stared at him for a few moments, then came to sit next to him on the rock that he had been watching the dragons from.

"The whole goal of this is killing the queen so the dragons don't raid Berk anymore, so how do you not go back?" I was trying to be calm, this was a conversation that had popped up several times over the winter. It was a conversation that made me feel anxious, like Hiccup would just be gone one morning and I would be on my own with the dragons. Which didn't necessarily scare me per se, but he was far better with them than I was and we certainly needed Toothless to take the queen down. I didn't think the plan would work without Hiccup and Toothless.

"Yeah, I know. I'll help with that… I'm just not going to go back to Berk, at least not yet." He made an odd gesture out towards the sea. "I want to see what out there Astrid. I know there is more than just the tribes that we know about. I want to see the things that Trader Johan talks about, the people with the dark skin, the people that paint themselves blue! I want to not just hear about these things, I want to see them!" Hiccup seemed to deflate suddenly and lose his bravado.

"But… you do want to come back one day?" I asked him hopefully, laying on hand on top of his to help calm his nervous jittering. Stormfly was on instant alert and chirring at me disapprovingly, I ignored her and she settled closer and watched us suspiciously.

"Well, yeah… at least I think so." He turned towards me and put his other hand on top of mine which made my heart jump, and Stormfly to increase her chirring. "Someday"

"How long is someday?" I asked with a little trepidation, forcing a wan smile at him "I won't wait forever you know."

Hiccup looked like he might choke and I laughed at his expression. "Really?!" he asked with a squeak to his voice.

I didn't answer verbally, just leaned forward and kissed his cheek gently. Then moved away before Stormfly decided to be more insistent. "Don't make it too long." I walked away leaving him to think, and giving myself space to do the same. As long as Stoic didn't exile me, I fully planned to go back to Berk, and I missed my family, and ultimately felt that was where I belonged. Finding the answer to peace with dragons was of the utmost importance right now, but when it was done I refused to be left without a plan.

Hiccup was not certain that his father would accept him back, which was a large portion of his insecurity, or would forgive him for befriending the dragons. It almost seemed ironic that I felt I knew our Chief better than his own son did. Stoic got angry and blew up at times, but loved his family beyond everything else, and would forgive almost anything given time. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if his wife hadn't died, and Hiccup had ended up with siblings. Hiccup would still have been under pressure as the heir, but somehow I think that Stoic would never had smothered him so much if he had others to love. Taking care of the village was not the same as family.

It was time. The weather was warm and the dragons were as trained as we could get them without more riders. I was nervous, as I hauled myself into Stormfly's saddle and my palms were slippery with nervous sweat.

"Let's go!" Hiccup shouted, and all the dragons launched into the sky after him. I nudged Stormfly, and she joined the crowd in the sky and we began our trek to the dragons nest.

Even though the weather was warm, I was glad that I had bundled up in warmer clothes, because now it was cold. The wind was biting and the moisture from the clouds was slowly soaking my hair, I huddled down closer to Stormfly's back. The heat of her was comforting.

We flew for hours before I could see the archipelago that Berk was part of, we skirted the edge and landed on one of the small outlying islands to rest for a few hours before making the final push to the nest.

"Well, we are almost there." Hiccup said seriously "If you have any doubts now's the last chance."

I smiled at him, he was trying to give me a way out. "I'm not turning back now, this is the only way to be able to have peace at home. This is the only way we can go back, and I want to go back Hiccup." I told him with determination.

He studied my face with an intensity that made me a bit unsettled, so I looked away and started fiddling with the saddlebags on Stormfly. "Promise me that you'll get out… If something happens, if this doesn't go the way we planned, get out Astrid. Go back to Berk and defend it if you need, but promise me you'll get out." Hiccup spoke in a low voice, with an intensity that I hadn't seen before. A sudden suspicion lit in my mind.

"What are you planning?"

"I'm going to end this one way or another Astrid! Promise me you'll get out if it goes wrong!"

I physically reeled back from him. "You can't…"

"If that's what it takes, I will!" Hiccup interrupted me. "You want to go home, I can't. Dad won't accept me, and I won't join the Outcasts." He was suddenly quiet and still.

"That's not true Hiccup!" I screeched at him. "Your Dad loves you!"

Hiccup stiffened "He loves the idea of what I could be, he doesn't even know me." He practically growled. "We better get going, I want to be there before dark."

As we got ready for the last leg of the journey my mind churned along with my belly. Hiccup was planning on dying, or most probably. After the last winter together that hit me like a slap. We had talked about so many plans and ideas for the future, that it could turn so suddenly was heartbreaking to me.