CHAPTER NINE
Cat smiled, watching her daughter suck on her breast. This time last year, this whole idea would have sounded strange to her. She would have been asking, in her childish way, why would a baby wanna suck on a boob and why would a woman want that to happen? She'd grown up a lot in the last year. In the last months. She knew deep down that it's not going to be an easy ride, but she's bound and determined to make it work for her, for Robbie, and for their daughter.
"You're so pretty," she whispered. "How'd Momma get so lucky, huh?"
"Momma's beautiful, too, that's how," Robbie said from the doorway.
The redhead looked up with a smile, rocking slowly back and forth in the rocking chair she was sitting in. She was still living with Jade and her mother and she was surprised and thankful to find out that they converted one of the extra bedrooms into Jade's room and Jade's old room was turned into a nursery, since it was right next door to Cat's room.
"Hi, Daddy," Cat said.
Robbie walked over to her and kissed her lips before kissing the baby's head. "Hi, Kenzie. I missed you."
"You were only away for a couple hours."
"Ten hours and thirteen minutes, to be exact."
"Well, you had to sleep. That's all she did anyways, you didn't miss much."
"She wasn't up all night?"
Cat shrugged. "A little. She only woke up three times. I finally just gave up on going back to sleep at five this morning."
"I can stay here and keep an eye on her while you sleep."
"No. You're not using our daughter as an excuse to skip school. Nice try though."
Robbie smiled. "It was worth a shot."
"Robbie if you want a ride you better get your ass in the car, I'm leaving in two minutes," Jade said as she walked into the room and kissed the baby's head. "Good morning gorgeous, you woke me up five times last night but I forgive you."
"Five? You said she only woke up three times."
"She did," Cat said.
"No—she only woke you up three times. I heard her every time she woke up," Jade said.
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"I know how to take care of a baby, Cat. She just needed to be changed and I gave her a bottle. I've been doing that at least once a night since we brought her home."
"You should have woken me up, you need to sleep for school, Jade."
"Do I look tired? I'm fine. Honestly, it's no big deal. You need your sleep too, you've gone without sleep a lot more than I have. I don't mind it. She lives in my house, she's partly my responsibility too."
"No she's not, you're the fun aunt, I'm the mother, I'm supposed to take care of her."
"It's fine, Cat. Don't worry about it, seriously. Mom's planning on taking her off your hands for a few hours so you can sleep as soon as you're done feeding her."
"But what about Tyler?"
"She can juggle two babies at once, she's a pro," Jade said before kissing Kenzie's head again. "Bye baby, I'll be back in eight long excruciating hours for cuddles and kisses. Let's go," she said, heading out of the room.
"I'll miss you," Robbie said, running his finger over Kenzie's cheek.
"She really will leave without you," Cat said.
"Right," Robbie said. He kissed her quickly and left the room.
Cat giggled and looked at Kenzie. "Your daddy's a nut. So, what's this I hear about you cheating on me with your Auntie Jade, huh? You're supposed to wake me up, silly goose."
Kenzie stopped suckling after a few minutes and Cat carefully fixed her bra and shirt before laying the baby over her shoulder and patting her back.
"You know, you gave us a really big scare a while ago," Cat said, breathing in that new baby scent. "Yeah, you did. You tried to come too early and you scared us a lot. We've been through a really long journey together, you know. Daddy's not the daddy that made you… the daddy that made you wasn't a very good person. He didn't mean to be bad, though. I know he'd love you to bits and pieces. But, he's not allowed to come around. He did some really bad things to Mommy. But, don't you ever worry about that. I'm gonna make sure nothing ever happens to you. I'm gonna make sure that the things that happened to me don't happen to you. Ever," her voice cracked. "I'll never ignore it if something bad is going on. I'll put a stop to it as soon as I know. I promise…"
Cat let out a small sob and she sniffled, rubbing Kenzie's back. "I'm so glad you're okay… I'm so proud that you're my little girl, no matter how you were made. I'll never regret you. Ever."
"There's no reason to," Grace said from the doorway.
Cat sniffled and looked up, letting out a small whine. "There's a huge reason to… but I can't."
Grace walked over to Cat and carefully took Kenzie from her, swaying back and forth and she laid the baby in her arms. "When you look at her, do you regret her?"
"No…"
"When you think of her, do you regret her?"
"No."
"When you're nursing her, do you regret her?"
Cat sniffled and shook her head. "Never…"
"Then there's nothing to regret her for."
"But… my brother… my own brother…" her voice cracked.
Grace gently laid Kenzie down on her back in her crib and knelt in front of Cat, taking her hands into her own. "I know it hurts to remember. I know it hurts to be reminded of what he did to you every time you look at her. But you know what's more important? That every time you look at that beautiful, perfect, healthy, lucky baby girl, you love her even more."
"I already do…"
"Then, that's all that matters, sweetheart. You know what you need? You need a nice long bath and a nice long nap."
"But the baby…"
"I'll take care of her. I've done this four times. Take a bath and get some rest. If you sleep past three then I'll wake you up so you don't mess up your sleeping schedule. Okay? Just rest. You need it."
Cat took in a deep breath, stretching as she woke up. She looked at her phone and groaned when she saw it was only eleven-thirty.
"Could've slept another three hours," she muttered as she sat up. She quickly glanced down to her shirt and sighed when she saw that she'd leaked through her bra. "Great. Thanks, motherhood," she said.
After changing into a fresh shirt and bra and making sure to put in a bra pad this time, she heard Kenzie fussing through the baby monitor and made her way to the next room.
"I don't care!" Grace snapped downstairs. "You haven't tried to see her since…" her voice trailed off as Cat got into the baby's room.
"Grandma Grace must be talking to Joanie's daddy," Cat said, carefully lifting Kenzie up out of the crib. "Oh my lord baby girl, you're soaked. Did Grandma underestimate your peeing powers?" she asked, kissing her head. "You want a bath? You're gonna get one anyways," she said laying Kenzie on the changing table.
"So, did you have a nice nap? Mommy could've slept a little longer," she said as she unbuttoned the soaked onesie and carefully took it off. She took the wet diaper off and threw it in the diaper genie before wiping her off with a wipe before scooping her up in her arms and walking to the bathroom across the hall.
"What parent just leaves their child!" Grace shouted.
Cat let out a small sigh. She felt bad about it. Jade's father was only three of the West children's biological father, which were Travis, Jade, and Tyler. Grace and Todd broke up shortly after Jade was born. After Grace had Joanie, that relationship failed because Joanie's father didn't want to take on the responsibility of being a father. When Joanie was just about a year old, Grace and Todd fell madly in love again, and Todd officially adopted Joanie as his own and then little Tyler was born.
Tyler was a special little boy. It was hardly ever talked about, but he was born with a mild case of Cerebral Palsy—which they found out about shortly after he had his seizure all those months ago.
He was Cat's favorite little boy in the world—of course, until she has her own son. But Tyler will always be the first boy to ever capture her heart. Aside from Robbie, of course.
Cat finally got Kenzie into the baby bath and giggled when her daughter's eyes widened at the feel of the water. "Is it weird? Water's new for you, huh?" she asked, wringing water out of a wash cloth over Kenzie's body.
As she gave Kenzie her bath, the baby kicked and fussed but Cat finally got her cleaned up and wrapped her in a towel before going back into the nursery and getting her dried off, in a fresh diaper, and a new onesie. After she put a bow on Kenzie's tiny head she picked her up and kissed her cheek. "Hi, my pretty girl. You smell a lot better," she said before walking out of the room.
As she started downstairs, she heard a familiar voice. A voice she wasn't fond of. A voice Grace must have been yelling at instead of Joanie's father.
"Mom? Do we have company?" Cat asked as she descended down the rest of the stairs. She stopped in her tracks as Grace walked over to her and her gaze flitted to the other woman.
Her mother.
"Why the fuck are you here?" Cat asked harshly.
"I will not take that tone from you, young lady," her mother said.
"Cat, I think you should talk to Carol," Grace said.
"Well, I don't," Cat said. "I don't want to talk to her. She left me, she abandoned me—"
"I saved your life," Carol said. "I sacrificed myself to get you away from Max and your father."
"Once! Only once! I was raped for years before you did shit to help me, and then as soon as your pathetic ass was out of the hospital, you fucking left! You left me all alone!"
"And I apologize—"
"Apology not accepted," she said, cradling Kenzie to her chest. "I don't have time to waste on a relationship that will never be fixed. I have a baby now, she's more important."
"I know that, but I'd really like to get to know my granddaughter."
"She's not your granddaughter. I don't care what you say, I don't care how you're related, she is not your grandchild. Grace was here for me through my whole pregnancy. She was there after I gave birth to her, she's the one that helps me out with her, Grace is her grandmother. You'll never be her grandmother. Ever."
"Cat," Grace said.
"No!"
Grace sighed and took Kenzie from Cat carefully.
Cat's glare bore into Carol for a few seconds before she crossed her arms.
"She's beautiful," Carol said. "She's the perfect mix of you and Max…"
"Don't compare my baby to that monster. Ever."
"You were both beautiful babies, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that."
"It is when your brother got you pregnant."
"You don't have to keep reminding me."
Cat scoffed. "Reminding you? You wanna talk about reminders? Every time I look at her, I think of the night he held me down in the bath tub and almost drowned me while he forced himself into me, despite the fact that he had to force it because he was too big. I think of all the times he shoved his hand down my panties and got me off. I think about the time he told me I'd be a good mom because I'm a good sister."
"You shouldn't think of those things. You should be focusing on how beautiful and wonderful that baby is," Carol said.
"I do! But with the good things come the bad things, and the bad things are a lot more prominent for me right now. I'm still getting to know her, she's still getting to know me, we're still bonding."
"Carol," Grace interrupted. "I don't mean to sound hostile, but maybe this isn't the best time to discuss this. Cat's right—this is critical bonding time. She's still getting used to having a baby and she needs to focus on getting her mind back in the right place while juggling motherhood at the same time. It's not easy for her."
"Like it was any easier for us when we were raising Travis and Max?" Carol asked.
"We also weren't sixteen years old, Carol. Cat's situation is a lot different than ours were. We got pregnant by our boyfriends. Not our brothers."
"Okay, I'm done talking and listening," Cat said, taking Kenzie from Grace. "I'm going over to Tori's house, she and Trina haven't gotten to meet the baby yet."
"You said you were still sore this morning."
"I am, but it's not going to speed up or slow down the healing process and I'm tired of this conversation, so I'm leaving before I do something I regret," Cat said, leaving the room.
"Oh my gosh!" Trina said, leaning over Kenzie's car seat. "Oh, she's gorgeous," she said, running her finger over Kenzie's hand. "What's her name?"
"Mackenzie Jade Shapiro," Cat said with a bright smile.
"Can I hold her? Please say I can hold her; I haven't held a baby in almost three years."
"Go ahead. Where's Tori?" she asked, walking to the kitchen.
"Took Lacey to the park but that was an hour ago so they should be home any time now," Trina said carefully taking Kenzie out of the car seat.
"She must be growing so fast, I haven't seen her in months."
"To be fair, you were on bed rest."
"It wasn't bed rest, it was… Grace being overprotective. Mind if I find something to snack on? My sugar's getting low."
"Sure, we have some candy bars in one of the drawers, help yourself."
"Ooh, jackpot."
"What jackpot?" Tori asked as she walked in with Lacey in tow. "Cat? What are you—oh my god, baby," she said, walking over to Trina and sitting next to her. "Oh my gosh, she's so precious!"
"I know, right?" Cat asked. "Hi Lacey."
"Kitty!" Lacey said, running over to Cat.
Cat picked up the little girl and kissed her cheek. "Hi, baby love. Did you have fun at the park?"
"Yeah. I swing."
"I like the swings, they're my favorite. Did you play on the slide?"
"No, swide too big."
"Aw, maybe when you're a little bit bigger then. You want some juice?"
"Yeah, joosh!"
"What kind?"
"Gwape!"
"Trina, do you water down her juice?" she asked, putting Lacey down.
"What kind?" Trina asked.
"Grape."
"Little more than half water, the rest juice."
"Can I hold her now? Please?" Tori asked.
"Aw, sure," Trina said, passing Kenzie to Tori. "I gotta run down to the police station anyways, Dad locked himself out of his truck. Will you keep an eye on Lacey or do you want me to take her with me?"
"I'll watch her, no problem."
"Thanks, I'll be back in about an hour," she said, grabbing her purse and walking out the door.
Tori smiled, watching Kenzie wriggle around. She rubbed the baby's chest lightly when she started to fuss. "Shh, it's okay."
"Do you want me to take her?" Cat asked, handing Lacey a sipper cup.
"No it's alright—unless she needs to be fed."
"I fed her before I came over, she should be good for another hour or so."
"She really is beautiful, Cat. I'm so proud of you."
Cat smiled and sat next to Tori, lifting Lacey into her lap. "I'm kinda proud of myself."
"You should be. You went through hell. Worse than hell. You dealt with abuse, went through a difficult pregnancy, and you gave birth without medication in a class room on a chair, and even better than anything else, your baby is perfectly fine with no complications and that is a huge, huge deal. It was almost unlikely—she should have had some pretty bad birth defects and she doesn't."
"That we know of."
"Well, if there ever happens to be something, you'll still love her."
"I will. But I'll feel a lot better when all of her tests come back negative."
"We all will," Tori said, lifting Kenzie up and resting her against her chest, letting her curl up as she patted her back. "Hey, cutie. Is this a little bit better?"
"She likes the boobs. They're her favorite spot to lay."
Tori cradled Kenzie's head in her hand as she patted her diaper lightly, swaying back and forth. "She's so tiny. I didn't get to hold Lacey like this."
"You're gonna be a great mom one day."
"Uh… it's funny you should mention that…"
Cat looked at her for a few seconds. "Oh, Tori, no…"
Tori nodded. "Yeah…"
"How far?"
"Nine weeks."
"God… I'm so sorry."
"I'm not," Tori said. "I mean, I am… but I'm not."
"How are you both?"
"Because I know how spectacular life is one you give life to someone else. You and Trina did it just fine. I'll be okay… the only thing is, I don't know how Andre will take it."
"Since when are you two together?"
"We're not."
"Then…"
"We hooked up. But… it's not his."
"Whose is it then?"
"Danny's."
Cat stayed quiet for a few seconds. "Oh…"
"Please, don't be mad at me. I know it was a crappy thing to do to sleep with my best friend's ex boyfriend and it's been on my mind ever since it happened."
"He was your ex boyfriend before he was mine."
"Yeah, but you didn't know that at first. I knew."
Cat played with Lacey's hair when the toddler leaned back against her chest. "It's fine. I have no right to be upset about it. I'm not. I shouldn't be upset about another guy. I'm getting married."
"I'm sorry…"
The redhead shook her head. "Stop talking about it. Does anybody else know about the baby?"
"My parents. Trina. The D Word."
"How are they taking it?"
"My parents aren't thrilled, but they're not giving me too much grief. Trina just keeps reminding me that she's here for me if I ever need her. You Know Who isn't even talking to me. I told him and he just… hung up and won't answer any of my calls."
"Always was a jackass."
"Ass!" Lacey said.
"No," Cat and Tori said in unison.
"We don't say those bad words. Aunt Cat's older than you, she's allowed," Tori said.
"Bad word," Lacey said.
"Yes, bad word."
"I'm so not looking forward to that," Cat said with a small laugh.
"With the potty mouth you've picked up in the last year, Kenzie's first word is going to be a curse word."
"I'm kinda hoping her first word will be Mama. But yanno, 'fuck' would be pretty funny too."
"Fuck," Lacey repeated, resulting in Tori and Cat sighing.
