Chapter Nine
Rachel woke up in Puck's arms the next morning. She tried to sneak away from him because she just didn't know what to say. Last night she was crying when Puck came into her room to comfort her, I guess he heard her crying even though she tried to keep it quiet. Rachel was able to sneak out from his arms without waking him up and went to the restroom to get dressed, she slept in like she had planned. Rachel hoped in the shower to get ready and dressed for the day so she can spend some time with her dad's and with Carole. She thought maybe it would be best to start with Carole than walk to her dad's house since they didn't live far from each other. Besides, she needed to ask permission and wanted to do it right away before she lost her nerve. When he heard the shower go on, Puck immediately woke up to realize that he must've crashed out when he was trying to comfort Rachel last night. When he heard her crying last night, he just hated it when she cried but he knew why. He tried his best to make her feel better and let her know that Finn would not want her to be sad for the rest of her life or be alone. It was best for her to be with someone he knew than someone that he didn't know and might have hated. Puck just got up and went to his room to get dressed as well. He was going to drop off Rachel and than head to his mom's house to get her advice as well.
When Rachel got out of the shower, she sneaked her head into the room to see if Puck had woken up because she didn't want to wake up him up with the sound of her blow drying her hair. When she looked in the room and saw that he was gone, she was surprised that he had woken up because he was probably exhausted from hearing her complain and cry last night. Rachel went back into the restroom to finish getting ready by blow drying her hair, fixing her make up and picking a comfortable outfit. Somehow she managed to pop out with a belly overnight. She was just four months pregnant and already showing so that scared her. She in a way blamed Puck but thanked him at the same time for taking care of her and spoiling her like the baby was his but he would remind her that he knew he was Finn's baby so he wouldn't act like he was. He was just going to help him whenever he needed his help and wanted to know more about his real father. Puck had the apartment stocked with so much snacks and food that she always craved and if they didn't have it, Puck would actually go out and get it. It was weird for her to see Puck like that. She loved it but she felt like it wasn't his responsibility to do all that and she knew that if Finn were here, he would be the one to do that in a heartbeat without a thought. At the same time that Rachel was getting ready and thinking of how thankful she was for him, Puck was in his room.
Puck was thinking of what happened last night between him and Rachel. It was nothing intimate like that it was a emotional connection. He wanted to let her know that no matter what, he was going to be by her side and help her anyway that he could. He was happy that she even invited him to go back to Lima with her again and they could get a house together. He knew that things were still going slowly but he hoped it would work out like the way it did in her favorite movie, "Life as we know it". He wanted to prove to her that he was worth being in her life in a romantic way but he also wanted to be there for her as a friend. He didn't want to rush into anything or make Rachel feel pressured into being with him. So while she was with her dad's and Carole for the day, he was going to talk to his mom and ask for her advice since she was a woman. Puck than heard her blow dryer go off so he knew that she must have known that he left the room so she decided to start getting ready. He decided since he was already dressed, he would just wait for her in the living room like he usually did. He waited about 45 minutes til Rachel came out of her room and entered the living room.
"You ready, Rach?" Puck asked when he looked up and saw her.
"Yes. Are you?" Rachel asked.
"Yes, let's go." Puck said.
They were on their regular one hour trip to Lima when they though how much easier it was going to be when they move back. After all, that's where their parents where and where Rachel's doctor was. On their drive over there, they talked more but neither of them wanted to talk about what happened last night, not right now.
"Are you sure that you will be okay with moving back to Lima?" Rachel asked.
"Yes, if that's what you would feel better doing. I know that you want to move closer to your dad's and Finn's parents." Puck replied. "I kind of miss my mom too."
"I just know that it'll be helpful to be around all of them especially when Drizzle gets here. I honestly don't think I'll ever want to go back to New York. It's too hard and I just want to be surrounded by family. I don't think everyone would want to move to New York." Rachel said.
"Rachel, I know that it's scary to think about going back but I know that Finn would not want you here wasting your dream away. He knew that you would be a star and I know that you're pregnant now but you won't be pregnant forever. You have to at least give it a shot in fulfilling your dream. You're better than just staying safe and not taking risks." Puck said.
"I just don't know." Rachel said. Rachel looked out the car window and tried to fight back the tear that was in her eyes. She just never imagined her life being this way, she never imagined a life without Finn in it. She thought that they would grow old together.
When they got into Lima, Puck took the street him and Finn use to play on all the time. The street that his mom still lived on with her husband. When he pulled up to the driveway, he took a deep breath. He didn't know what he could do to make Rachel realize that she has a whole support system behind her wanting her to follow her dream. Rachel got out of the car and headed to Finn's old house but Puck would not leave until she was in the house.
Rachel knocked on the door and saw Carole open the door. Rachel turned around and waved goodbye to Puck so he know that she would be okay now. She saw how protective Puck was getting with her and she adored that in him.
"Hi Carole." Rachel said.
"You know that you can just call me mom." Carole replied.
"Hi, mom. You were always the best person to me. I always wished that you were my mom. I can't believe you almost was." Rachel said, thinking about the day she was suppose to marry Finn.
"To me, sweetie, I am." Carole said, opening the door to let Rachel know that she could come inside. "How are you? How is Drizzle? I still can't believe my son once picked that name."
"I'm doing okay. Last night, I actually had a breakdown because I missed Finn so much. But Drizzle is doing great, I can feel him move but I am waiting to feel him kick me because I think that would be one of the cutest things. I know, I still can't believe it either. When he first told me the story behind it, I felt so badly and I always promised that if I ever had a boy, his middle name would be Drizzle so I decided to keep my promise." Rachel said.
Rachel and Carole made their way to the living room so they could get comfortable and talk more. When they arrived in the living room, Burt was seating in Finn's dad's chair. They couldn't find the heart to get rid of it especially since Finn felt such a strong connection to it. They were thinking of giving it to Rachel so Finn and her son would be able to sit in that chair in the future. Burt got out of the chair to give Rachel a hug to welcome her back here again.
"Rachel, what made you have a breakdown about Finn?" Carole asked when they all got settled into the living room.
"I just miss Finn so very much. This wasn't the way it was suppose to be. I feel responsible for his death. I mean what if I would have fought for him harder to stay in New York? What if I would have been with him here in Lima instead of wasting time in New York? Me and Puck went out on a date yesterday and it felt so natural, I actually enjoyed myself. I felt like I could see something going with him but than we got back, I felt guilty. I don't deserve to be happy, not without Finn. I feel like I am betraying him. He told me at the wedding that we were endgame and that I was his girlfriend. But now he is gone and I am here alone without the man that I was suppose to spend the rest of my life with. He was my soul-mate but he was taken away. It is my fault that he isn't here. It's my fault that he isn't enjoying the pregnancy with me or the annoying parts of the pregnancy. He is not here to put up with me and to love me. I should have done more for him and now he is gone. I don't deserve to be happy, not at all." Rachel said with tears in her eyes.
"Baby, is that what you think? You are in no way responsible for what happened with Finn. It was just a horrible accident and you knew the heart that Finn had. He saw someone in trouble and he tried to save her life. Unfortunately, it took his life in the process but he died a hero because the girl was saved. Even if he was in New York with you or here in Lima with you, if he would have seen anyone in trouble, he would have done what he could to help them. I believe that everything happens for a reason and my son died a true hero, saving a girl's life from harm. If Finn was able to see how strong you have been during this difficult time, I know without a doubt, that he would be very proud of you. You deserve to be happy, oh sweetie you deserve more than anything to be happy. If Puck makes you happy than so be it. Follow your heart. Finn would want you happy and not be alone for the rest of your life. He would hate that and you know it, deep down in your heart. I will forever love you as a daughter and nothing is going to change that. You can date whoever you want or marry whoever you want but you're still going to be daughter because you made a mark in my son's heart and in my heart and you will stay in there forever. I love you and I want you happy. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to love again and know that it won't take away from the love you had for Finn." Carole said, holding Rachel's hand.
"You really think so? I love you like my own mother, you have always been there for me more than my real mother had ever been. I just want to know if it would be okay with you. I know that no one will ever love me like Finn did or will get the same love that I had for Finn except Drizzle because that's a part of Finn but I just didn't know if it is right to be happy without him." Rachel said.
"Sweetie, trust me. You can be happy without him but that doesn't mean you're not going to have moments. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting. You won't forget Finn or what y'all had but you need to happy as well. When Finn's dad died, I was beyond devastated and it took me forever to realize that I could be happy and should be happy. I know exactly what you're going through except Finn was a much better man than his dad." Carole said.
"Thank you so much mom. It means the world that I am able to talk to you like this." Rachel said. She reached to give Carole a hug for her advice.
"So me and Puck are thinking of getting a place here in Lima instead of continuing to live in Dayton. What do you think?" Rachel asked.
"That would be amazing. I would love that. Do you think you will ever go back to New York?" Carole asked.
"I don't think I can handle living over there by myself with the baby. I know that Finn would want me to follow my dream but I just can't imagine being able to handle it." Rachel said.
"Well, what do you think of us joining you in New York after the baby is born? So you and Puck can move into an apartment for a while than after the baby is born, you can go back to New York to follow your dreams. You need to follow your dreams because you have such a great talent and you don't want to spend your life thinking of what if. I know that Finn wouldn't want you to give up on your dreams. That was one of the things he loved so much about you. He loved your passion and drive and would tell me everyday that you were going to be a star. If you don't want to follow you're dream anymore, at least try for Finn and for Drizzle. Make both of them proud of you." Carole said.
At the same time, Puck arrived at his mom's house and was making phone calls to get Rachel's surprise baby shower going. He knew that Rachel deserved to have her pregnancy celebrated. He was hoping to have the baby shower in two months so that gave everyone enough time to get respected time off and get everything ordered for it. His mom was even helping him plan it because she always loved Rachel for Puck. She always thought they belonged together but she understood that she and Finn were soul-mates.
"So did you find the cake that you want for the shower so we can call to order it?" Puck's mom asked.
"Yes, I found the perfect cake for Rachel. I just hope that she loves it." Puck said. "I already called everyone from the old Glee club and the new Glee club. Well the club that use to be before it was canceled. I told them that the baby shower was going to happen July 30."
"That's great. I am so proud of you and the man that you have became. You have just really stepped up lately also. How are things with you and Rachel?" His mom asked.
"We went out on a date last night." Puck said.
"That's amazing!" She yelled. She kind of got over excited.
"Yeah, it was great til I heard her crying in her room. She felt like she didn't deserve to be happy because Finn is gone. She feels like she is going to forget him and won't be able to tell their son about him. But, I came up with an idea of her recording stories about him so she would show him. I even told her that I would get some in there too. I want her to know that I support her and I know that she will always love Finn. He was her first love." Puck said. "She wants to move back to Lima so she is going to look for a place for us."
"Awwww that was sweet of you. I know that he was your very best friend and I know that you miss him, deeply. I love how your so understanding of the situation and you are stepping up. Wait, you and her are moving together over here?" Connie asked.
"Yes." Puck said.
"Well, why don't you and her move in here? You won't have to pay anything and that gives you and her money to spend on the baby and yourselves." Connie said.
"I don't know..." Puck said.
Rachel had walked from Carole's house to her old home. She pulled out her key to enter her old house. She had already text both her dad's to let her know that she was on the way to their house to spend the rest of day with them til Puck was ready to pick her up. She thought about what Carole told her about moving on with Puck and she felt better knowing that she got her approval. She was right though, Finn would not want her to just spend the rest of her life alone. She was only 19 years old and had the rest of her life to live. When she arrived at her dad's house, she felt a smile appear on her face. She missed her old house even though it bought a little bit of memories. When she invited Finn over for practice and she got all dressed up for him but he didn't like it. But she did love when he said that he loved her the way she usually was even though other people made fun of her for it. Rachel went up to the door and opened the door. She went straight to her old room so she could have a moment alone in there before she talked to her dad's. When she got into her room, she sat on her old bed and laid back. She thought about when Finn laid with her in bed on Valentine's day. She felt so safe in his arms and felt like there was nothing she could not do when she had Finn by her side. She was thinking about the stupid fight they had before that and laughed.
"Well, look who misses her old room." Leroy said.
Rachel turned around to her dad's voice. She didn't expect to see them standing at her doorway.
"Yes, of course, I miss it. I miss you two more though." Rachel replied. She than got up to give her dad's a hug and they entered her room and sat on her bed.
"How are you baby girl?" Hiram asked.
"I'm doing much better especially after the talk I had with Carole." Rachel said.
"How's our first grandson?" Leroy asked.
"He is doing good. I love feeling him move around but I am wanting him to kick so I can record it." Rachel said, laughing.
"How is things with Puck? I know that you text me yesterday talking about a date?" Hiram asked.
"Yes, we went out on a date last night. It went really good, better than I imagined. It is like we clicked but than I felt guilty for being happy and moving on. I felt like I shouldn't move on because this isn't the life I was suppose to have. Finn was suppose to be here." Rachel said.
"Rachel, we know that you miss Finn but he wouldn't want you to be sad and alone because he isn't here anymore. He may not be here physically but he is here in spirit. He is in your heart." Leroy said.
"I know and Puck has been wonderful about it. He knows that I will always love Finn and he is not pressuring me to do anything or get over it. He even suggested that I record for videos for Drizzle so he could know about his dad. He said he will say stories about him too. He has been great and understanding. He even agreed to moving back to Lima with me so I can be closer to y'all and Finn's parents as well." Rachel said.
"Well, why don't you and him come stay here? You and the baby could stay in your old room while Puck stays in the guest room which we will make up to be his own. Not unless y'all want to stay in the same room but I know that your relationship hasn't reached that point yet." Leroy said. "It gives us a chance to be closer to you and to the baby when he gets here. Plus help save money to spend on the baby and yourselves."
"Well, I don't know.." Rachel said. "I'll think about it daddies."
Puck got the text message to pick her up at 8 pm so they could go grab something to eat before the good places closed. When he arrived at the Berry's house, he remembered when he and Rachel spent time in her room making out, even though it was to get other people jealous. Deep down, he did it because he wanted to and because he had a crush on her but was too scared to admit it especially since she was crazy in love with Finn. When he saw her get out of the house, she took his breath away. She was the only woman who could dress up and look beautiful but also be simple and still be beautiful. She had natural beauty.
"Hey, Noah. How was the day with your mom? I need to go spend time with her. I haven't seen her in a while." Rachel said as she closed the door to the car.
"It was good, we had a good day catching up and helping her out with stuff. She misses you." Puck said.
"Hey, remember when we talked about moving back?" Rachel asked.
"Yes, why do you want to change your mind?" Puck asked.
"No, my dad's asked me something and I wanted your opinion." Rachel asked. "They wanted to know if we would want to move into the house with them. Me in my old room and you next door in the guest room. They said you could stay in my room with the baby but we hadn't reached that point in our relationship yet. They also said it would be great so that way money is saved. They don't want me working which is ridiculous."
"That's crazy. Me and my mom were having a similar conversation. Plus, I don't want you working either, you need to focus on you and Drizzle." Puck said.
Rachel looked at him.
"What are we going to do?" Puck asked.
"Well, first we are going to go get something to eat because I'm starving and can't think straight on an empty stomach and than we can talk about it tonight when we get home." Rachel said. At that time, she smiled. She looked at Puck as she referred to his apartment as "home." She was realizing that life is too short not to be with the one you really like and could possibly love. She grabbed his hand while he put his car in reverse and went to the restaurant to treat his girl to dinner. He wanted to make sure Drizzle was well fed before his mom went crazy on him with her mood swings.
