Chapter IX
End of Complacency
How soon will we accept this opportunity to be fully alive before we die?
― Stephen Levine
Inoue stirred and fought the inevitable consciousness that would soon find and pull her from her dreams. Most of her fantasies were of being home and being surrounded by those she longed to see. However, last night's visions had consisted of nothing but empty white in which she wandered aimlessly as if searching for someone.
Then, as the dream neared its end she found herself lying upon the sands of Hueco Mundo, though it was strangely warm and bright. She opened her eyes and saw the sun, glowing from above. Sitting, she looked around and found that life had replaced the barren wilderness.
Not wanting to leave the beautiful setting, Inoue struggled against waking but her attempts were futile. Opening her eyes slowly, she was greeted with the familiar darkness of her cell, save for the stream of moonlight from her window.
Lifting her gaze she nearly jumped as she spotted Ulquiorra on the other side of the couch, still sitting but with his head leaning into the palm of his hand, his arm resting against the arm of the sofa.
His eyes were closed and he breathed easily, and Inoue realized with a start that he was asleep. Had he stayed all night?
Sitting slowly, she leaned towards him and tentatively placed a hand upon his shoulder.
His eyes opened instantly and he glanced to her before seeming to relax and lifted his head. Regarding her a moment, he leaned forward as if about to rise.
"I did not intend to stay," he stated.
Inoue just smiled uneasily and placed her hand on her head, "no, it's okay, Ulquiorra was tired and so…"
He stood and then placed his hands in his pockets, "I'll have your meal brought in right away. Have you been up long?"
Inoue lowered her hand before shaking her head, "no, only just now."
Nodding, he made his way to the door and left. Inoue watched him go before releasing the breath she had been holding. Looking down to her hands, she marveled that it had been a strange few days.
The Espada had questioned her about the heart her brother had regained and she wondered if that was in fact what he sought. Lifting her hand she remembered how it had felt within his powerful grasp, and at how susceptible she had felt in that moment.
Several minutes passed in which she simply contemplated over all that had taken place within the last several hours.
The sound of voices nearing her cell caused her eyes to immediately avert to the door, where the first thing she saw was the Arrancar that pushed the cart of food, behind which followed Ulquiorra. They both entered and then she saw Grimmjow catch the door before it closed.
"Oy! Don't just ignore me, Ulquiorra!" His teeth glimmered in the darkness before his eyes swept the room and settled upon her, "oh, and it's your little pet-san."
He waved mockingly to her before leaning an arm on Ulquiorra's shoulders. "I've been looking all over for ya! Where've you been?"
The other Espada simply cast him a condescending glare, "my business is of no concern to you."
Grimmjow laughed before removing his arm and stretching, "do I annoy you that much? You hurt my feelings, Cifer."
Ulquiorra ignored him before motioning to Inoue that she was to rise and eat. Inoue slowly stood and tentatively moved past where Grimmjow stood grinning at her. She gathered her plate and then took her time eating, still uncomfortable around such an audience.
"Obedient, ain't she?" He shook his head, "she's somethin' to be sure."
He flexed the arm she had healed and then chuckled, "useful to have around at least."
Without responding, Ulquiorra leaned against the wall beside Inoue, seemingly intent on not replying to the jabs of the lower-ranked Espada.
Grimmjow, however, crossed his arms and then walked over to the table and sat atop it, leering down at Inoue. "Yo, pet-san."
Inoue looked up to him and then offered a small smile in greeting.
"Pretty smile ya got there," Grimmjow jeered, "makes me wish Ulquiorra wouldn't keep you all to himself."
Inoue turned her head away, a frown replacing her smile. She snuck a glance to Ulquiorra who simply stood with his eyes closed, though his aggravation practically radiated off of him.
"Haha! Now ain't that cute," Grimmjow replied, finally standing, "I think she's become quite fond of you, Ulquiorra."
Finally opening his eyes, the other Espada awarded Grimmjow another glare.
Grimmjow smirked and raised his hands defensively, "don't make such a scary face, Mr. Four."
When Ulquiorra didn't say anything, Grimmjow turned and waved him off. "Argh! Have it your way. You were never the sort to have any fun with anyway." He walked over to the door and then paused to look back at Inoue, "later, pet-san." He winked and then exited the room, leaving them alone.
Ulquiorra leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes, hands still in his pockets and posture rigid. Inoue looked to him and refrained from saying anything, sensing that he was not in the mood for conversation.
Rising, she grabbed her plate and set it down on the cart, though she had only eaten half her portion. She hoped Ulquiorra wouldn't make her eat the rest, as she had completely lost her appetite. With a sigh, she looked to him once more and saw that he displayed no signs of moving anytime soon. She walked back to her seat and lowered herself into it, allowing her head to rest against her hand and her eyes to look down at the table absently.
Grimmjow seemed the very abrasive type, and also as if he were the sort who could lose himself to his emotions quite easily. It starkly contrasted with Ulquiorra's personality and she realized then that despite being Espada both, they were as different as any two people could be. There was no way one could define them simply on being both of the same type of existence.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ulquiorra turn his head and look to her and she allowed her eyes to drift over to his in response. Neither moved and both seemed to slowly lose themselves within the gaze of the other. Inoue found she could hardly think at all as the intensity of his emerald eyes held hers completely.
The silence pressed on and it felt as if an eternity has passed before Inoue finally found the will to lower her gaze to her hands; the effect of his eyes slowly ebbing as she was released from them. Everything was so strange, every single moment since that illuminating conversation; their encounters had been both increasingly confusing and simultaneously penetrating.
Catching movement, Inoue looked up to see that he had walked over to her and she felt her eyes widen at his proximity. Leaning forward, he continued to look into her eyes, his face remaining expressionless.
"Ul-" she began before her voice caught in her throat.
Inoue felt a sudden rush of fear but it passed as he subtly sighed, though he had not yet attempted to explain his approach. She remained motionless and barely dared to breathe as she continued to question his behavior. What was he doing? What was he going to say?
Then, at last, he spoke. "Woman, what have you done to me?"
"Huh?" She responded, confused. "N-nothing."
"Nothing?" He countered dully before closing his eyes and straightening. "Before you came along it was easy to not question anything around me, I was able to simply exist and that is all. Now however, it's as if my blissful complacency is being destroyed little by little."
He looked to her, "and it's because of you and your ridiculous views on life. Nothing at all makes sense anymore. Everything you say is so completely inaccurate and yet it somehow disturbs me and makes me consider things I've never wanted to."
Inoue's eyes were wide as his words reached her and she couldn't think of a thing to say in reply.
"I was content in the simplicity of my emptiness," Ulquiorra revealed. "How is it that a powerless creature like you was able to abolish it so entirely?"
"I-" Inoue began before lowering her gaze and still finding she had nothing to say.
"Look at me, woman," Ulquiorra ordered and simply because of the gravity within his tone, Inoue silently complied.
He stared at her a moment before continuing, "there is no such thing as regaining a heart after one has been made hollow, there is no such thing as a way to fill the inevitable emptiness, there is no such thing as hope within this world, there is no such thing as weaker beings escaping from those that are more powerful, and there is certainly no such thing as a woman who does not feeling any hatred towards the one who stole her away from everything she has ever known."
Inoue looked to him and felt a suffocating swell of pity. He looked so…haunted. She closed her eyes before slowly rising from her seat. Hesitating but a moment she then stepped towards him before opening her eyes to stare defiantly back into his own.
He watched her approach passively though she could sense that he was tensing upon every footfall she took that brought her closer. Stopping in front of him, Inoue felt as if she no longer had any control over herself. The entire thing was so surreal and she briefly questioned her sanity before raising both hands and placing them on either side of his face.
He made no move to turn away as his eyes continued to bore into hers, seeking, endlessly seeking for a reprieve from his anguishing confusion. His demeanor was rigid and his posture was tensed in apprehension of what she would do.
Feeling moved by something outside of herself, Inoue neared his face, continuously holding his eyes before allowing her hands to fall at her sides as she altogether stopped, feeling that even her breath held in anticipation as to what the next moment would bring, and what it would mean…
Somewhere within her heart she prayed that he would stop her and allow her mind to regain some semblance of sense, while at the same time hoping that he wouldn't…
His eyes did not waver and as she began to close what distance remained between them, her only thoughts consisted of a response to his previous statement "I don't despise you because…"
She paused as her lips hung a mere breath from his own, "I don't despise you because…"
As he stared into her eyes, she saw so many questions encompassing his gaze before discovering the very last semblance of his resolve standing upon the brink. Closing her own eyes, Inoue moved forward, past the final dimension that so completely separated them. She brought her lips to his and simultaneously felt that time itself had stilled for them.
It was the instant in which they both felt their carefully constructed walls begin to shatter.
"I don't despise you because…I see in you a better person just waiting to emerge, a person whom I've come to care for very much…"
Ulquiorra did not react, simply allowed her kiss to linger a moment. He closed his eyes, and seemed unable to respond. She did not pull away, simply held her lips to his as if that alone were adequate. Then slowly, he brought a hand to her arm as if to push her way before bringing it through her hair, allowing the fiery strands to cascade over his fingertips.
At the contact of his hand, Orihime pulled away and opened her eyes just enough to see that his remained closed and that his face was as still as time itself. She had not expected a return gesture, though she also had to admit that she had not known what to expect. His mouth was parted and she suddenly felt as if her entire world lingered upon what his next words would be.
He opened his eyes then and stared into hers, the confusion deep but the resolve absent entirely.
He lowered his hand from her hair and Inoue lowered her head as she awaited his reaction. She had so completely lost hold of herself, and was now ashamed to comprehend what had just happened. A deep blush extended across her face and she felt as if her skin had been inflamed from sheer humiliation at her own actions.
Ulquiorra then lifted his hand curiously and allowed his fingers to tentatively brush against her lips, as if remembering the way they had felt. He outlined them slowly and Inoue did not move beneath his touch.
Then, withdrawing his hand, he closed his eyes. "Woman…you've now completely destroyed me."
Inoue nodded and continued to bow her head, aware that what she'd just done had been completely wrong.
"What does it mean?" He asked then, resulting in her raising her eyes to his. Ulquiorra opened his eyes, "what did that mean, what you just did?"
Inoue collected her thoughts as best she could, "I-I don't know…"
"I see…." Ulquiorra replied before shifting slightly towards the door. He regarded her silently and Inoue simply stood beneath his gaze, afraid of the inevitable second in which the moment would pass and reality would be allowed to resume.
"I will go," he then stated, before turning and slowly leaving the room, thus allowing time to return and Inoue to feel as if she were about to collapse beneath its immense weight.
