Chapter 9:

Her Feelings & My Secret

Utau POV

"Come on Utau~!"

"Okay~ wait~!"

I ran over to Hikaru as he opened the umbrella. We stood close and I grabbed his hand. It had started raining really hard just a while ago out of the blue. Hikaru and I had been on a date at the park and it was ruined because of this damn rain.

"Our date was sooooo ruined because of this weather," I sighed.

Hikaru looked at me.

He chuckled.

"Don't worry pumpkin, let's have another date soon, alright?"

His hands reached for my chin, and pulled me closer to him. Then he planted a small sweet kiss on my lips.

I blushed and looked down.

He grabbed my chin again.

"What? Disappointed?"

He smiled.

Then he pulled me closer and kissed me again, this time, passionately.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.

This kiss reminds me…

I opened my eyes instantly and separated myself from Hikaru and looked down.

"What's wrong, Utau? Did you not like it?"

I shook off the shock from my face and looked up at him with a smile.

"Dumb Hikaru, I couldn't breathe anymore…"

He laughed loudly.

"Sorry, Utau~!"

He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.

Why did I think of him during the kiss…?

We talked a bit and laughed during the walk to my house.

The rain had turned into a storm and a cold breeze passed by us. I shivered as he pulled me close.

We passed the park's main gate and walked past the small forest next to it.

I sighed again, taking a look at the forest, the one place where good memories were held.

Hikaru and I kept on walking, and that's when I saw it.

At first it was just a shadow running out from the forest.

Who could that be?

Maybe someone had buried a body?

That last thought was the effect of having watched too many murder mystery shows.

I ignored it a bit, but then the image became more focused.

I recognized that shape.

Who could it…?

Wait.

Kukai?

Soon enough, I could tell it was him.

But...

Wait.

My heart plummeted as I saw his lips caressing another girl's mouth below him.

He was hugging her so tenderly…

I didn't know what to say or how to react.

I looked down and grabbed Hikaru's arm.

"What…?"

"Let's turn this way," I said, pulling him away from the direction of those two.

Something was wrong with me.

My chest felt cold and broken.

That girl was receiving his heart.

Yes.

His heart.

He was the guy that kept on appearing in my dreams and in my heart.

The guy that…

Had appeared in my last passionate kiss with Hikaru.

Kukai.

I felt so wrong.

What was wrong with me?

Was this…jealousy?

Or was it that I still loved Kukai?

Amu POV

"Amu! Are you alright?"

A voice was calling out to me.

I felt coldness around me…wet.

Water?

"Amu!"

The voice again.

I opened my eyes and focused on the figure above me.

But, soon, the tiredness came over me and I closed my eyes once more.

Kukai POV

I separated myself from her, and called her name lots of times.

"Amu! Are you alright? Amu!"

She opened her eyes a bit but then closed them again.

I felt her forehead.

Hot.

"She has a fever. I better get her home right now."

I grabbed her and put her on my back, carrying her piggy-back style.

The rain was finally letting up, so I could run much better.

Thank god I hadn't given up soccer practice so I could run this fast.

I ran over puddles and felt the water splash into my shoes. Soon enough, my feet were freezing.

I rounded a corner and came up in front of my house, stopping in front and catching my breath.

"Finally. We're here."

I walked up to the front door and knocked.

We were greeted by my mom's shocked face.

"What in the world…?"

I walked inside hurriedly and hurried to my room.

There, I placed Amu on the bed and turned to look at my mother, who had followed me to find out what was going on.

"Mom. She has a fever, so can you please take care of her?"

She looked at me curiously.

"Of course, baby, but what happened? You're all wet!"

I looked around my room for clean clothes.

"I'll tell you later, but please do this for me," I grabbed the clothes and a towel, and then turned to face her. "I'll take the downstairs bathroom. You can take mine so you don't have to move around much."

I walked out quickly and headed downstairs.

After the shower, I ran upstairs to see how she was doing.

I opened the door and found a doctor checking her pulse.

My mom spotted me and motioned for me to come.

"He's just giving her a check-up for now. Just in case."

I nodded understandingly as I looked over at the sleeping angel on my bed. Her pink lips were parted slightly, taking in small breaths of air.

She really is beautiful.

"Oh? She's waking up." The doctor said.

Sure enough, Amu was opening her eyes a bit. She looked around the room, confused I guess, then turned back to look at me.

"Where am I?"

I chuckled, glad that she was getting better.

"I brought you back home because you got sick, Amu."

She looked around the room again.

"Oh."

I tried to act surprised.

"You're not going to thank me? Okay, then. I wasn't really expecting you to. I'll go get a sandwich."

I turned around to leave when I heard Amu's voice.

"Fine. Thanks Kukai."

A grin crept onto my face.

I turned around.

"That's more like it. But I really am going to make myself a sandwich."

I walked out the door while the phone rang downstairs.

My mom ran past me to answer the phone.

She's just got a fever and I acted all concerned.

Well, at least she's getting better.

Amu POV

Kukai and his mom were finally out of the room.

I turned to look at the doctor.

"You know, right?"

He looked up at me.

"If you don't take care of yourself, this is going to keep happening. You could eventually-."

I interrupted him.

"I know that, doctor. Thanks for clarifying that again for me. But I have a favor to ask you."

He looked up at me suspiciously.

I looked out the window for a while.

There was no rain anymore. Only the cool breeze remained as evidence for the earlier storm.

The storm.

The forest.

Kukai.

I looked down at my hands, while I felt a bitter-sweet taste engulf my mouth.

He had saved me yet again, although I didn't ask him to.

Someone actually cared for me, and that made me feel guilty.

No one could save me from the illness slowly creeping over my body.

The illness that would one day take my life, and Kukai wouldn't be able to save me then.

I looked back up at the doctor, a tear strolling down my cheek.

"Please keep this between us. Don't tell them."

He exchanged a shocked glance, but proceeded to slowly nod his head.

I looked out the window once more, another tear falling onto the bed.

I'm so sorry, Kukai.