" So, what do you make of your new bed, Channy?" Joey asked his friend, upon entering the room.
" Well, let's just say that I was very happy with the changes here, until I saw that damned bed. What did you do to it, by the way?" A shocked Chandler asked, gazing at the new, crooked bedpost and the chipped wood on the side.
" Well to summarize it: Phoebe cut it in half and then…"
" Wow, wow, wow, Phoebe did what now? And how come you are suddenly using the word summarize correctly?"
" She cut the bed in half, you know because that used to be Monica's side and all. We didn't want you to be reminded of her. And I'm using summarize correctly, because I had to know what it meant for my last part," Joey explained proudly.
" So… in order to get Monica out of my head, you people had to wreck my bed?"
" Hey, it isn't wrecked okay! Look, I even constructed a new post," his actor friend, defended their previous practices.
" Yeah, it's lovely, all crooked and unstable!" Chandler shouted, no longer able to control his anger over his messed-up bed.
" Hey, we just wanted to do something nice for you, dude. We didn't mean any harm."
" How exactly does tearing my bed in half, qualify as doing something nice?!" the other man yelled, pulling at the strands of his hair in frustration.
" Chandler, Chandler calm down. I know it may look a bit weird, but I can assure you that the quality is still good. Here, look," Joey declared, as he went to lie down on the bed.
" See, I can bounce on it and everything, it's…" he began to say, right before the wooden furniture collapsed with a loud crack.
" Oh yeah it's excellent. So, tell me Mr. carpenter, where do I have to sleep now, huh?"
" Well, maybe at my place, you know like we first said. Phoebe and I officially intended that to be a red haddock, but…"
" Red herring, Joseph! The expression is red herring, goddamn it! Why won't you learn?!" Phoebe suddenly interrupted, startling both him and Chandler.
Then her whole demeanor changed, when she spoke in a much calmer tone: " He is right though, you can still move in with him and Rachel. I'll be perfectly fine over here."
" Really, you mean that? Won't you get lonely?"
" Eh, I've lived on my own for many years, when I was still on the streets. I can handle it, besides you guys will just be across the hall. And if worse comes to worse, there's still Ross, you know."
" I guess you're right… okay let's start the moving then," Chandler stated, while clasping his hands together.
" Or… or, I can give you my bed, you know from the guestroom and I'll just sleep on the couch. That way, you can still get to enjoy your new and improved room, painted and decorated by yours truly!" Phoebe suddenly suggested enthusiastically.
" Hey… yeah of course, I hadn't even thought about that. Yeah… actually sorry, Joe but I think I'm gonna go with that. Phoebe spend all of her time remodeling my room, it wouldn't be fair to just ignore that and move away from here."
" Fine, fine as you wish. But you're missing out on a great opportunity here," Joey commented, slowly rising up from the floor and wiping the dust from his knees, cursing when he discovered a bruise on his shin.
" Yes, we're going to be roomies! And it's gonna be so much more fun without Monica, I'm sure of it!"
At the mention of Monica's name, Chandler's face fell again, as he said: " I think I want to be alone for a while now. I need some time to think things over."
" Oh… okay, well we'll leave you to it then, come on Joey," Phoebe retorted, dragging Joey from the room by his arm.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
" I just don't understand what went wrong. It seemed stable enough, when I first sat on it," Joey complained, once they were in the living room.
" Well Joseph, there is a saying that goes like this: first impressions don't say it all. You just think about that," Phoebe told him solemnly, knowing that this statement would get him to shut up for a while.
" Yeah, I will," her friend retorted, while nodding with a smile on his face.
" Hey Pheebs?" Joey asked, after a long time.
" Yeah?"
" You think we can tell him about the other surprise?"
" I'd wait with that, he's still all fucked-up from what Monica did to him. I'd wait until he's feeling just a little bit better. I just don't think, that he's in the mood for surprises right now."
" Okay… well I'm out of here then, I have an audition for a movie in one hour!" the Italian suddenly yelled excitedly.
" A movie, really?! What kind of movie?! You think this is going to be your big break?!"
" Well actually, yeah. It does have a pretty new concept: it's science-fiction, mixed with romance."
" What?"
" Yeah… it's totally cool: I play this alien who falls in love with a human girl, but we can't be together obviously. The story is actually a lot like Romeo and Judy, but only with aliens.
Joey then looked confused for a minute, when he saw his friend face-palming and shaking her head.
" What? What's wrong now?"
" It's Romeo and Juliet, Joseph! Please try and understand." Phoebe clarified desperately, while making wild hand gestures.
" Nah, I'm pretty sure the chick's name was Judy."
" Oh my god, if Shakespeare were still alive, he'd horribly mutilate you using only his pen!"
" Who in the hell is Shake… whatever his name is?"
The masseuse only sighed in response, then said: " Go, just go."
" Fine, I will. I'm sorry if I'm not as smart as the rest of you, alright? See ya," he muttered, in a tone that clearly reflected just how offended he was.
" Bye," Phoebe retorted, equally frustrated with Joey's lack of knowledge. She really didn't know why she wasted her time teaching him stuff, when he didn't recall a single thing afterwards.
She then decided to watch some TV, but quickly changed her mind, when she heard what seemed to be soft sobs, echoing from within Chandler's room.
She was a little annoyed at first, wondering to god why he couldn't just man up, sleep with the first girl he found on the street and forget all about that bitch. In short lines, that was exactly what she had done to him anyway.
But then, when she saw him sitting in the corner of the room, head in his hands and a large picture of him and Monica on his lap, her irritation quickly made room for pity and compassion.
" My god, Chandler. Put that thing away, you're only making yourself miserable," she commanded, approaching him in three swift strides.
" No," was Chandler's only response, not looking up from the photograph. It was probably also the only word he could form in between those gut-wrenching sobs.
" Come on, give it. I hate seeing you like this," Phoebe muttered softly, attempting to take the damned thing away.
" No… no, I want to be alone… go away," he retorted weakly, clutching onto the frame more tightly.
" No, no I won't go away. I want to help you, Chandler! Won't you give me a chance to help you?" she whispered, as she began rubbing his shoulder affectionately.
" Please let me help you," she begged, while brushing a stray tear from his face.
Her friend said nothing, just kept to himself, bowing his head down and lovingly stroking the picture.
" Hey… Phoebe?" Chandler then brought out, after a long pause in a conversation, that hadn't really been a conversation to begin with.
" Yeah?" she asked softly.
" I'm sorry… I'm sorry for behaving like a total jerk earlier, it's just… I… I miss her, I miss her so goddamn much," he sniveled, right before breaking down in tears again.
" God, Chandler, it's okay. You don't have to apologize, I know you miss her, of course you do," she cooed into his ear, as she slowly pulled him closer, into a warm embrace.
" I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
" I know, it's okay, it's okay," she whispered, hoping to god that everything would go back to normal one day.
