Author note: Hey guys, two chapters in two days! And second chapter in a row for me now! Whoo! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as my last one, and don't worry, I'm not taking over this story, I had a long and very random discussion with Padme's Sister over it. She guided me a little more with this chapter and she insists on editing it slightly, which is fair enough. She is apparently the equivalent of RTD to this story. We're all the episode writters and can do what we like, but overall, she's the boss and if she don't like it, it gets changed!
I don't mind. At least she lets you take all the credit for your own work and doesn't try to STEAL YOUR IDEAS!
So yeah, oh and don't worry. She's not gonna kill off all the fans one by one - just the ones who annoy her. So you've been warned!
No Author Note from Padme's Sister this time (she's too busy being annoyed at people).
oOo
The Doctor slouched slowly into the TARDIS only to find a Dalek wrapped in a twenty foot scarf and a washing machine in the corner. Joshwales was sniggering quietly, but the Doctor chose to ignore him. Rose was looking through stuff Padme's Sister had left on her laptop.
"Add new companion called Briar Elwood..." she muttered as she typed away at this very chapter.
"Do we have to add another companion?" the Doctor exclaimed, very annoyed. "Its too crowded in here!" Just then, Joshwales dissapeared in red smoke. "And stop his red smoke!"
"No, its funny seeing you annoyed," Padme's Sister laughed. "And besides, I'm not writting this chapter. Rose is."
"The Doctor says its too crowded in here, so guess what time it is? Its COMPANION KILLING TIME!" Rose shouted and everyone cringed. Rose ran into her bedroom, pulled on a ginger wig and black dress, then walked back out to the console room which had been transformed into the Weakest Link Studio.
"Hey look, I'm almost the new Doctor, only I'm rude AND ginger!"
Everyone groaned and Rose glared at them.
"Right, for that, I'm gonna choose who's playing!"
And so, Joshwales, Padme's Sister, Mayuko Chan, XKinky-bootsX, Briar Elwood, Miss Kiwi, Light Queen of Lilies, Ldy Knight and Captain Jack Sparrow found themselves standing at the podiums, and all the few remaining fans, the Doctor's tanned coat and Orlando Bloom formed the crowd.
"Lets play the Weakest Companion!" Rose shouted and Joshwales pulled out some glasses, chucking them to her.
"You forgot these."
"Thanks," Rose replied, putting them on. "Now, lets play the Weakest Companion!"
"You already said that," Joshwales helpfully pointed out.
"Right, well shall we start then?" Rose asked, glaring at him. He pulled on a set of glasses and began mimicking her.
"First question goes to you Briar Elwood. What does the name TARDIS stand for?"
"Erm, Time And Relative Dimensions In...erm..."
"Slugs," Joshwales hissed.
"Right, Time And Relative Dimensions In Slugs."
"Wrong! The correct answer is Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, you plank! Miss Kiwi, Name the bitchy trampoline from the year five point five slash apple slash twenty six."
"Cassandra!"
"Oooh, should I accept?...Hmmm, alright I'll accept Cassandra. The correct answer, however, was Lady Cassandra O'Brian Dot Delta Seventeen you dum dum."
And so Rose continued questioning everyone, adding pointless insults when they got a question wrong or only partly correct.
(What, I'm trying to be like Ann Robinson here!)
At last the round was over and everyone breathed a sigh of relief...until...
"Now lets vote off who you think is the weakest companion," Rose said and everybody grabbed a card, scribbling on the back of it. At last they were all ready and held up their cards.
"XKinky-BootsX," Joshwales said.
"Captain Jack Sparrow," Padme's Sister said.
"XKinky-BootsX" Briar Elwood said.
"Ldy Knight," Miss Kiwi said.
"XKinky-BootsX," Mayuko-Chan said.
"Padme's Sister," XKinky-BootsX said (although how she can expect this story to continue without its author is beyond me!)
"XKinky-BootsX," Light Queen of Lilies said.
"XKinky-BootsX" Ldy Knight said.
"Captain Barbossa!" Captain Jack said.
"XKinky-BootsX, with five votes, you are the Weakest Companion - Goodbye!" Rose replied nastily in her best Ann Robinson impression she could do. (Which is a very good one, I'll have you know!)
Flying Beastie (the newly re-named Dalek tied up in the scarf) trundled over to her.
"EXTERMINATE!" it screamed as he blasted her into the vortex.
"You bloody moron!" XKinky-BootsX howled.
A few minutes later the washing machine finally decided to come to life and out popped some kinky boots which had XKinky-BootsX hidden in them. Joshwales and his clones, along with Rose's clones (who I'd tried to lock in the shed), Timeless Escape, Kates Master, Ads230, Who Wolf and Cloudhaven94 all pulled out giant super soakers which were actually nuclear missiles in disguise. They began launching the missiles as XKinky-BootsX.
"Hold on! This is a K+ fic!" the Doctor screamed.
"Not anymore," Padme's Sister cackled. "I changed the rating to T!"
"I'll save you XKinky-BootsX!" the Doctor said. "Look, lets hide in that washing machine that definately doesn't look suspicious even though it has huge pointy fangs!"
The Doctor and XKinky-BootsX jumped into the washing machine together. Flying Beastie blasted the machine out into the vortex and the Doctor was delighted.
"Yay! Now I get to regenerate!"
He walked back through the door a moment later as the tenth Doctor, looking all smug and pleased with himself.
Rose stared at the mayhem around her, then back at her screen. "Ok, not what I wrote at all! I think I'm gonna hand this to you," she said, handing the laptop to Joshwales. Then she ran away, totally scared.
"I've just doomed the world!"
"Right then crew! Lets shoot off towards our next and totally random adventure," the Doctor beamed, flicking random controls. Joshwales marched over to the Doctor, looked him in the eye and said "Ding Dong!"
"Merrily on high?" The Doctor guessed.
