Oh god, oh god... Class is over... I'm free again... FREE!!
Terra leaves the Matron and heads back to Edgar.
Terra: Where's the bathroom?
Edgar: So... do you like my castle? We don't have any bathrooms, but if you wanna squirt....
Before Terra can slap Edgar, (and after Otaku beats the crap out of the author,) a guard rushes in.
Guard: Someone from the empire is here to see you!
Edgar: ...Probably Kefka!
The camera quickly pans to the desert. Kefka and two guards are slowly walking towards the castle.
Kefka: Why are we walking here? Why aren't we riding Magitek armor?
Guard 1: Ummm, they said they'd deliver them overnight...
Kefka: Grr... I hate these recon jobs! Edgar, you pinhead! Why'd you have to live in the middle of nowhere?
Guard 2: Well, yeah. Why is he living here? It's not even close to town...
Kefka: Oh, never mind...
Kefka stares at his boots.
Kefka: Ahem...there's SAND on my boots!
Guard 1: We're in a fickin' desert. OF COURSE there's sand on your boots.
Kefka quickly stabs Guard 1.
Kefka: Get another guard and clean my BOOTS!
Guard 2 and Guard 3 (ran in from offscreen) quickly clean his boots.
The Figaro door Guard steps in front of the door.
Guard (I guess he's number four): Sir Kefka!? What on earth do...
Kefka: Wait... this is earth? I thought we weren't supposed to know which planet this was...
Guard 4: Well... Um...
Kefka: I mean, what exactly is their explanation behind making a series of games that have almost nothing to do with each other, and yet they are "sequels?"
Guard 4: Well... Ummm... Tidus looks pretty cool...
Kefka: We're not supposed to KNOW about- aaarrrrgggh! Outta my way!
Kefka shoves Guard 4 aside and enters. Edgar is there to greet him.
Edgar: What brings Kefka, servant of Emperor Gestahl, into our lowly presence?
Kefka: A girl of no importance escaped from us. We heard she found refuge here...
Edgar: Her village burned down when a Black Knight and his Dragoon friend brought an explosive package, right?
Kefka: NOT Rydia! She... merely stole something of minor value.
Edgar: Like that pirate who has a hydra to drive his ship when there's no wind?
Kefka: That's FARIS! Geez! Just give me the girl!
Edgar: Oh, that's a tough one. You see, there're more girls here than grains of sand out there. I can't keep track of 'em all! Especially that princess of Alexandria...
Kefka: Garnet. Her name is... Ah, I'm not even supposed to know about this! I'd hate to be you if we find out you're lying... Mwa, ha! I hope nothing happens to your precious Figaro!
Kefka, Guard 2 and Guard 3 leave.
Edgar walks up to Locke.
Locke: I'd say he's missing a few buttons...
Edgar: And I'd say I'm missing some gold... drop the bag.
Locke hands the bag of gold to Edgar, but Edgar's too distracted by Terra to notice.
Edgar: Take her to my room... I'll get the aprodisiacs...
Edgar runs past Terra to his throne room.
Edgar: Follow me.
Terra: Why should I?
Locke: Umm... I found a bathroom...
Terra: Oh, right! The bathroom... Yeah... (Terra looks around nervously)
Locke and Terra walk to a small bedroom (not the royal bedroom, of course.)
Terra: Well...What are you still doing here? I'm trying to sleep. Go off and steal the chair or something.
Locke: That's TREASURE HUNTING the chair!... On the surface, Edgar pretends to support the Empire. But the truth is, he's collaborating with the-
Terra shoves him out of the room.
Terra: GOOD NIGHT, jackass.
Terra manages to close the doors. (don't ask where the doors are)
Locke: Well, at least I got the chair.
Locke picks up the chair he "treasure hunted" from Terra's room.
Terra leaves the Matron and heads back to Edgar.
Terra: Where's the bathroom?
Edgar: So... do you like my castle? We don't have any bathrooms, but if you wanna squirt....
Before Terra can slap Edgar, (and after Otaku beats the crap out of the author,) a guard rushes in.
Guard: Someone from the empire is here to see you!
Edgar: ...Probably Kefka!
The camera quickly pans to the desert. Kefka and two guards are slowly walking towards the castle.
Kefka: Why are we walking here? Why aren't we riding Magitek armor?
Guard 1: Ummm, they said they'd deliver them overnight...
Kefka: Grr... I hate these recon jobs! Edgar, you pinhead! Why'd you have to live in the middle of nowhere?
Guard 2: Well, yeah. Why is he living here? It's not even close to town...
Kefka: Oh, never mind...
Kefka stares at his boots.
Kefka: Ahem...there's SAND on my boots!
Guard 1: We're in a fickin' desert. OF COURSE there's sand on your boots.
Kefka quickly stabs Guard 1.
Kefka: Get another guard and clean my BOOTS!
Guard 2 and Guard 3 (ran in from offscreen) quickly clean his boots.
The Figaro door Guard steps in front of the door.
Guard (I guess he's number four): Sir Kefka!? What on earth do...
Kefka: Wait... this is earth? I thought we weren't supposed to know which planet this was...
Guard 4: Well... Um...
Kefka: I mean, what exactly is their explanation behind making a series of games that have almost nothing to do with each other, and yet they are "sequels?"
Guard 4: Well... Ummm... Tidus looks pretty cool...
Kefka: We're not supposed to KNOW about- aaarrrrgggh! Outta my way!
Kefka shoves Guard 4 aside and enters. Edgar is there to greet him.
Edgar: What brings Kefka, servant of Emperor Gestahl, into our lowly presence?
Kefka: A girl of no importance escaped from us. We heard she found refuge here...
Edgar: Her village burned down when a Black Knight and his Dragoon friend brought an explosive package, right?
Kefka: NOT Rydia! She... merely stole something of minor value.
Edgar: Like that pirate who has a hydra to drive his ship when there's no wind?
Kefka: That's FARIS! Geez! Just give me the girl!
Edgar: Oh, that's a tough one. You see, there're more girls here than grains of sand out there. I can't keep track of 'em all! Especially that princess of Alexandria...
Kefka: Garnet. Her name is... Ah, I'm not even supposed to know about this! I'd hate to be you if we find out you're lying... Mwa, ha! I hope nothing happens to your precious Figaro!
Kefka, Guard 2 and Guard 3 leave.
Edgar walks up to Locke.
Locke: I'd say he's missing a few buttons...
Edgar: And I'd say I'm missing some gold... drop the bag.
Locke hands the bag of gold to Edgar, but Edgar's too distracted by Terra to notice.
Edgar: Take her to my room... I'll get the aprodisiacs...
Edgar runs past Terra to his throne room.
Edgar: Follow me.
Terra: Why should I?
Locke: Umm... I found a bathroom...
Terra: Oh, right! The bathroom... Yeah... (Terra looks around nervously)
Locke and Terra walk to a small bedroom (not the royal bedroom, of course.)
Terra: Well...What are you still doing here? I'm trying to sleep. Go off and steal the chair or something.
Locke: That's TREASURE HUNTING the chair!... On the surface, Edgar pretends to support the Empire. But the truth is, he's collaborating with the-
Terra shoves him out of the room.
Terra: GOOD NIGHT, jackass.
Terra manages to close the doors. (don't ask where the doors are)
Locke: Well, at least I got the chair.
Locke picks up the chair he "treasure hunted" from Terra's room.
