Oh god, oh god... Class is over... I'm free again... FREE!!

Terra leaves the Matron and heads back to Edgar.

Terra: Where's the bathroom?

Edgar: So... do you like my castle? We don't have any bathrooms, but if you wanna squirt....

Before Terra can slap Edgar, (and after Otaku beats the crap out of the author,) a guard rushes in.

Guard: Someone from the empire is here to see you!

Edgar: ...Probably Kefka!

The camera quickly pans to the desert. Kefka and two guards are slowly walking towards the castle.

Kefka: Why are we walking here? Why aren't we riding Magitek armor?

Guard 1: Ummm, they said they'd deliver them overnight...

Kefka: Grr... I hate these recon jobs! Edgar, you pinhead! Why'd you have to live in the middle of nowhere?

Guard 2: Well, yeah. Why is he living here? It's not even close to town...

Kefka: Oh, never mind...

Kefka stares at his boots.

Kefka: Ahem...there's SAND on my boots!

Guard 1: We're in a fickin' desert. OF COURSE there's sand on your boots.

Kefka quickly stabs Guard 1.

Kefka: Get another guard and clean my BOOTS!

Guard 2 and Guard 3 (ran in from offscreen) quickly clean his boots.

The Figaro door Guard steps in front of the door.

Guard (I guess he's number four): Sir Kefka!? What on earth do...

Kefka: Wait... this is earth? I thought we weren't supposed to know which planet this was...

Guard 4: Well... Um...

Kefka: I mean, what exactly is their explanation behind making a series of games that have almost nothing to do with each other, and yet they are "sequels?"

Guard 4: Well... Ummm... Tidus looks pretty cool...

Kefka: We're not supposed to KNOW about- aaarrrrgggh! Outta my way!

Kefka shoves Guard 4 aside and enters. Edgar is there to greet him.

Edgar: What brings Kefka, servant of Emperor Gestahl, into our lowly presence?

Kefka: A girl of no importance escaped from us. We heard she found refuge here...

Edgar: Her village burned down when a Black Knight and his Dragoon friend brought an explosive package, right?

Kefka: NOT Rydia! She... merely stole something of minor value.

Edgar: Like that pirate who has a hydra to drive his ship when there's no wind?

Kefka: That's FARIS! Geez! Just give me the girl!

Edgar: Oh, that's a tough one. You see, there're more girls here than grains of sand out there. I can't keep track of 'em all! Especially that princess of Alexandria...

Kefka: Garnet. Her name is... Ah, I'm not even supposed to know about this! I'd hate to be you if we find out you're lying... Mwa, ha! I hope nothing happens to your precious Figaro!

Kefka, Guard 2 and Guard 3 leave.

Edgar walks up to Locke.

Locke: I'd say he's missing a few buttons...

Edgar: And I'd say I'm missing some gold... drop the bag.

Locke hands the bag of gold to Edgar, but Edgar's too distracted by Terra to notice.

Edgar: Take her to my room... I'll get the aprodisiacs...

Edgar runs past Terra to his throne room.

Edgar: Follow me.

Terra: Why should I?

Locke: Umm... I found a bathroom...

Terra: Oh, right! The bathroom... Yeah... (Terra looks around nervously)

Locke and Terra walk to a small bedroom (not the royal bedroom, of course.)

Terra: Well...What are you still doing here? I'm trying to sleep. Go off and steal the chair or something.

Locke: That's TREASURE HUNTING the chair!... On the surface, Edgar pretends to support the Empire. But the truth is, he's collaborating with the-

Terra shoves him out of the room.

Terra: GOOD NIGHT, jackass.

Terra manages to close the doors. (don't ask where the doors are)

Locke: Well, at least I got the chair.

Locke picks up the chair he "treasure hunted" from Terra's room.