Almost one month without any update... I am soooo sorry!

Thanks for all the reviews! Please write some again! I hope that this chapter will live up to expectations... I will try to publish the next one soon...


Teenage geniuses were still teenagers. They could try whatever they wanted, they would not grow up faster than other young people.

In other words, you could be an amazingly intelligent thirteen years old girl and still be annoyed because your hips were getting larger and not your breasts. Or because those damned hormones raging in your body were making you act like a fool when you were close to this fifteen years old weird boy you have been liking for years.

Let's admit that. Now, what could you do when you had to be with this young man ALL the time? And ONLY with him? Where could you find some advice? Nowhere.

Shadow sighed loudly while adjusting her swimsuit in front of a large mirror. She was rather ashamed of losing so much time looking at herself, but she could not help it.

It was around three in the morning in a rainy night of January, 1995, and she had decided to go to the hotel pool to try to change her mind a little. Besides, getting some exercise would not be bad, considering all the time she was spending sitting in front of her computers. She did not want to get the same muscular problems as a middle-aged office lady...

The hotel pool and gym were supposed to be closed during the night, but Watari had made sure that L and her could access all the places where they would like to go. It had only been a matter of money, and this was not something they were lacking of.

She did not know exactly how much L had already earned those past months, but it was more than any normal person could get in an entire life of hard work. Famous cases were usually involving big rewards and, since they had moved to the U.S., L had managed to close 27 of them. His investigations on the 28th would be over very soon, but the boy was refusing to communicate any information he was not totally sure about, so they needed a few more days to check some details...

Anyway, if Shadow wanted to go to the pool in the middle of the night, there was no problem about it. In fact, it was the only time when she could go there. L and her could not be seen. Nobody would credit a fifteen years old detective, so they needed to create a new identity for L the investigator, who would be totally different from L the teenager. Shadow had worked a lot on this, developing a voice altering program that could not be filtered, and accessing to the hotel security system so no camera could record any picture of them... That had been a funny job...

She did not mind about not being able to go out, as she had spent most of her childhood this way. L seemed to be like her. The only difference between them was that L did not appear to suffer from any problem related to puberty or teenage crisis.

She did. Badly.

Perhaps L was having those issues too and was just hiding it better than her? After all, he was so good at lying...

There was also all the teasing about her body, and his "dirty mind"... But he was teasing her about so many things that she could not consider it as a valuable clue.

Maybe he did not care at all about the way she looked. And she could not really blame him.

Before, she was a pretty little girl.

Now, she was just pretty weird-looking. Like a plank with a big butt.

Why was that important? She did not really know. But recently it had started to matter a little bit more.

Maybe it was because she was next to L all the time...

Maybe it was because of the way he was looking at her...

Maybe it was because of his smell... and his lips... Well, there were many points to criticize about L's look, but nobody could deny he had wonderful lips. They were looking the best when he was biting his thumbnail. Those moments were also great opportunities to examine his hands. With his way of handling everything delicately, his long hands were staying extremely soft to touch. Shadow was almost jealous of them...

The young girl shook her head. This was not the time for fantasies.

This kind of thoughts would have never come to her mind a few years ago...

When she was ten years old, she did not pay so much attention to L's appearance... She did not like him because of that. Well, she still did not like him only because of that, but...

Recently, all their conversations seemed to lead to physical matters.

Physical contact... With the boy, that was always a tough question, but the truth was that another bigger problem was the source of her trouble.

Feelings. They were the origin of all.

She wanted to get closer to L. Closer than she was already. Physically AND sentimentally speaking. And she wanted L to feel the same, At least, she wanted to know what he was thinking about her...

Years ago, she would have been fine not knowing. Just being with him would have been enough. But now...

Now she cared too much. Far too much.

Of course, if she had chosen to live only for him, it was not only because she loved him: she was feeling lucky to work with such an incredibly intelligent person, and his investigations were captivating. After all, her position was almost what all the children of Wammy's House were aiming at.

But the romantic part was also there, and she had to deal with it. Quickly.

It would be stupid to spend all her life with him being mistaken about his feelings (if he had some...).

If he was considering her only as a friend, or a kind of sister, it would be better to know it now.

She would be sad, but would probably return to a not so romantic state of mind, a little like the way she was when she arrived at the orphanage.

It would not be so bad. She would not need to wonder about those annoying feelings anymore... Even if it was somewhat painful to think about right now.

- Ok," she decided, walking closer to the pool, "I'll talk to him...

She still had to figure out how to raise the subject, but this would be for later...

Now was time for some physical activity.

She dived in the lukewarm water, hoping that it would somehow help her to let her mind clear...


The pool had been a good idea. The water was making her feel lighter, physically and emotionally. She was not thinking about anything else than working her muscles and refreshing herself, and had almost forgotten everything around her.

She swam for around thirty minutes, and stopped to look at the window, just wondering if it was still raining. At that very moment her attention was drawn by splashing sounds.

L was crouching next to the opposite side of the pool, gently agitating the water with his right hand, and looking rather absorbed in this activity.

How long had he been there?

And what exactly was he doing?

- Aren't you too old to play with water?" Shadow asked, swimming towards him. He did not bother stopping what he was doing to answer:

- I called your name several time, but you didn't answer, so I tried that. There are people who call fishes like that...

She cocked an eyebrow.

- I am not a fish...

- But you came.

She felt like an idiot.

- Ok, maybe I have fishes in my family...

- That's highly impossible.

- I am joking, L... Anyway, why don't you stop, since I am here?

- I am just watching the ripples...

She looked at his hand.

- It's just like your work... You don't like things to stay still, do you?

- Nice image... Speaking of work, I will need you to analyze some old pictures...

- Just give me ten minutes to dry myself and put some clothes, and I...

- I will only get them in a few hours... It seems that some archivists are reluctant to work in the middle of the night...

She smiled.

- It's a shame that some people still spend their nights sleeping...

- ...

Her smile faded as she looked at his face. Could he be upset? She knew he did not like waiting for anything concerning his job...

- Hey... That's only a couple of hours...

- I can't prove my theories true without those documents. And I don't want to move on something else before closing this case. I can't understand such a lack of professionalism...

Yes, he was annoyed. This was childish, but it was how he was.

And she had to deal with it.

In a way, those coming idle hours could be a great occasion to talk to him about what was bothering her. But an upset L may not be very open to speak about feelings...

It was up to her to find a good manner to introduce the subject.

- How about resting a little?" She said. "You need some sleep and you won't be able to complain that you are losing your time...

He shrugged.

- Whatever...

- It's decided, then.

She got out of the water as he rose.

- You will take a shower before coming back to the room, won't you?" he asked as she was putting on a bathrobe.

- Of course... I don't even see why you ask...

- I won't be able to rest if you smell like chlorine...

She bit her lip as he walked away. Creating a romantic mood was not going to be easy...


- So, no more chlorine smell?

- No, but you did not dry your hair totally, it seems...

- It's OK, I am not going to catch a cold anyway... The room is always warm enough for us to wear only shirts all the time...

- That's true.

- So, will you rest now or do I need to get an hair dryer first?

- You can stay like that...

She almost had a sigh of relief as he made himself at ease on her lap. She was now wearing her sleeping outfit, consisting of a pair of large cotton shorts and one of his white shirts. L had suggested that it would be better for her to wear what comforted her the best since her last panic attack in autumn, so she was allowed to borrow his clothes and Watari could keep his old nightdresses for himself.

It seemed that he had ordered a large amount of cakes and fruits while she was under the shower. If he was normally eating a lot, Shadow knew he was literally stuffing himself when he was upset.

- I am not sure that absorbing so much sugar will help you in that state..." she said, glancing at all the plates scattered around the bed.

- What state?" he asked in a slightly irritated tone.

She frowned.

- You know it's useless to snap at me. I am not the reason why you are annoyed.

- How do you know?

- Because I am always doing what you want, and when you want it.

- Where does this sudden self-confidence come from?

- That's not self-confidence, that's just saying the truth...

- Look, they are talking about me...

She wondered if he was really listening to her as he pointed a finger at the television. There was another report about how "anonymous sources" had helped arresting the serial killer who had murdered 11 students in New Jersey more than ten years ago. It was the last case L had closed.

- I did not "help". I solved the case. And I am not "anonymous"...

She slowly shook her head. This was the kind of statements that could make him bitter for sure.

The problem was not only coming from a guy who wanted to sleep instead of going to his office to send some pictures to a weird detective in the middle of the night. In his childish way, L wanted to be recognized quickly so he could work exactly as he pleased. She tried to answer on a gentle tone:

- You are not really well-known either. We knew from the beginning that it wouldn't be easy to gain the public's confidence without showing your face, using your real voice and giving more than a single letter to introduce yourself... But it's only a matter of time to get acknowledged...

He patted the hand that was caressing his hair.

- Thank you for your support, but you know it won't change anything.

He was right, so what was the point of carrying on talking about this? She had totally different problems to discuss... She did not know why, but it seemed that the right moment was now or never

She took a deep breath.

- If we can't change anything about this problem, maybe we can try to do something about another one?" she proposed while quickly grabbing the remote control and turning off the TV. He got surprised by her impetuosity.

- Is there another problem?

- Yes. I have one, at least.

He could feel she had turned more nervous in a few seconds.

- Are you going to have a panic attack again? You look tensed...

If I could anticipate nervous problems like this, it would be great, but I am not sick. Not at all. I almost wish I were...

- I am afraid you have to explain me a little bit more about this "problem"...

She did not like the way he was saying those words. Was he so oblivious of what she could feel?

- L, what do you think about me?

- Right now, I would say you are behaving strangely. In general, I think you are a funny girl...

- What?

- What, "What?"?

- That's all you think?

- I think so many things... Were you expecting another answer? About your work, maybe? You already know I am fine with it... I'd tell you immediately if something was wrong anyway...

It was not helping her at all. But it was so like L. She should have known before asking the question.

- That's not the point. I am not speaking about this kind of thoughts, in fact...

- Oh...

He looked down, bit his thumbnail, and looked back at her.

- "Feelings", then?

- I don't know what to make of your way of pronouncing this word.

- I don't know either. We have not talked about this for a long time... Is it what's making you so nervous?

- We haven't talked about it because it has become difficult...

- Really? How?

- Because of your way of answering as if you haven't noticed anything! And yet... yet...

She sounded a little exasperated.

- Yet I tease you more than before, that's it?

- Yes! And no! Not only that... Damn, I don't know how to explain it! I was stupid enough to imagine that you would talk first... but it never happens, and I can't stand thinking about it again and again, and not knowing, and...

- Why do you get in such a state for something that haven't changed for years?

She gave him a puzzled look. How could he react so quietly? Was she telling him things he already knew about very well?

- What do you mean?

- You like me. You were nine when you admitted it for the first time. I like you too. I don't remember exactly when I said it, but I was not very old either...

She sighed. Had he stopped there? Children liking each other?

- That's... not so easy... Things have changed... We are not kids anymore...

- You don't like me anymore?

She blushed.

- I... like you... more than before... and differently...

- Same here. That's just a logical and natural evolution of things.

She gasped. He was still looking extremely quiet.

- I am two years older than you, after all... Changes are more obvious amongst girls, but I have grown up too... And some teasing were more meaningful than they seemed...

- But why didn't you say anything?

- I don't think that there are many things to say...

- Why?

- Everybody has those issues during youth, so why bother? Besides, I had other things to deal with... And I did not want Watari to get more worried about you...

- Watari?

- You are only thirteen, and, as intelligent as we may be, leaving two teenagers together all the time sounds rather dangerous to him... That's quite easy to understand...

Now this was embarrassing. Was Watari trying to protect her virtue? What kind of girl did he think she was?

- What the...?

- There was a time I thought you would be worried too." He interrupted. "You are a nice girl... You could have been afraid that I tried to...

- Eeeeeeeh? We are dealing with horrible rape and murder cases everyday, examining every disgusting detail of them, and you still think that I am such a naive girl?

- There is a big difference between criminals and us...

- It doesn't make me think that you are going to abuse me anyway!

- I know. Besides, I don't believe that you're so innocent anymore. I have seen you watching me strangely...

Her cheeks turned crimson red.

- You watch me too!

- Can't I?

She blinked. His quiet way of talking was unsettling. It was like he had known what bothered her for ages and was totally comfortable with it. After all, as she had said, they were not children anymore. She had to act like him... but she still could not hide her embarrassment properly as she answered:

- I haven't said that.

- So yes, I do. You are the only real girl I can look at, after all...

She took a deep breath, trying to sum up the situation.

- So we like each other, look at each other, think about each other... And since it's normal, let's just carry on pretending we don't want more and resume our works, that's it?

- I just said it happens to every young person, so there was nothing to be annoyed about... It doesn't mean I don't care...

- So what? Are you waiting for a sign?

- I don't know more than you about all this. It seems like you have been expecting me to do something... Am I supposed to make the first move?

- Well... you're the boy... and you're older... and there are the things you say when you are teasing me...

- Most of the time, I am just talking about your appearance... It seems that you have been imagining more things than I...

Then she realized than her mind may be far dirtier than his. And she was the younger one. Damn those hormones...

- I am sorry if you are disappointed." He continued. "You know I am not good at showing emotions and all...

- Don't apologize! I was the one thinking too much!

- Not too much. Normally, I guess... To be honest, I should be the one to blame for not having thought enough about the question...

- It's still a little hard to believe...

Yet, it was so like L. It was difficult to imagine him having fantasies in the middle of his job. He was not letting himself so easily distracted by feelings...

- You mean, you have never thought about... you know...

- A little... But I have far more important things to think...

- What about tou... No, no, forget about it!

She did not want to know if he was touching himself. She did not need to know. She did not want to need to know. She... Oh, Dear... She was getting a little bit too hot, it seemed...

Her attempt to cool down obviously amused L, who chuckled.

- Funny girl...

Her face still flushed, she pouted:

- I don't see what's so funny...

Shadow looked down at him, wondering again how he could get so cute when he was smiling.

She was feeling a little stupid. Expecting L to be romantic was asking him to know things that were not part of his world. If he could love somebody, he would do it in his very own way...

She would gladly let him do as he wanted. Because his unique personality was also a reason why she was so fond of him...

If she had to make the first move, then...

- All right," she said, smiling back at him, "so you don't consider me as a sister, or only a friend or an assistant, do you?

- Not only a friend, that's it... As much as I know...

- Let's find out for good...

She leaned over and briefly, but gently pressed her lips against his. He did not have time to react and just gave her a confused look.

- What was that?

- A kiss. Wasn't it obvious?

- I think it was too quick to be called like this.

- Oh... So... you want to do it again?

- Unless you don't want to...

- OK...

The element of surprise was gone, and she was feeling more embarrassed now. He was waiting for her.

She closed her eyes and bend down again, trying not to relax, even if she could not stop repeating in her mind that this was going to be the first real kiss of her life.

Their lips met, a little awkwardly for her, but it was definitely sweet.

She waited for him to stop. He was the one who had asked for it, after all...

She could not help wondering about what he could be thinking, as she opened her eyes to look at his face.

- Oh..." she murmured, frowning with concern, "I am sorry... You didn't like it?

- Why do you say that?

- You make the same face when you eat something that's not so tasty...

Knowing that your first kiss was less pleasant that eating cakes was not a wonderful thing...

L looked up, obviously annoyed too.

- That's not it... something is missing...

He touched his lower lip with his thumb, then glanced back at her.

- I got it.

Before she could answer, he rose, slid his left arm around her neck and kissed her again, putting more strength than before.

Shadow almost lost her balance and fell on her side. This time, he was definitely taking the lead.

She could not refrain from moaning when she felt the tip of his tongue brushing against hers, before ravishing her mouth.

This was feeling good. Very good. If he was doing the same things to all the food he was eating, then she wished she could be turned into candy...

After a long minute he finally broke the kiss.

- That's better." He declared, looking satisfied.

Totally unable to hide her flushed face, she smiled dreamily while asking:

- Better than sweets?

He grinned: she was looking a little ridiculous, but really cute.

- Better than sweets...

- I am glad... My... Where did you learn to kiss like that?

- I've never learnt anything. I just felt like doing what I did. That was my first kiss too...

- Really? Hmm...

There was a new domain where L was a genius. And she was the only lucky girl in the world who knew about it. Life was great.

They resumed their positions, as he was still supposed to rest. They were both feeling tired, as if kissing had cost them far more energy than one day of their normal activities.

- L..." Shadow called, toying with his hair.

- What again? Another problem?

- No... I was wondering if you were still upset...

- No..." he answered, half dozing off. "We should have tried this before... That's a nice way to get rid of tension...

He fell asleep just after those words. She carried on caressing him, thinking about all the time she had spent worrying about what had just happened.

So many months of trouble for two minutes of kissing... two minutes of pure delight...

She bit her lip, blushing only by thinking of what she had felt.

That had been really worth it.

She could not wait for more.