A/N- Talk about a long time in between chapters! I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner, but I've been busy over Christmas (eating and drinking etc) so I've made a decision regarding this story. There's a lot more that I want to write, so I was thinking rather than continue this story into this year (because it's supposed to be a Christmas fic) I've managed to bring it to a close in this chapter, but I'll write the sequel next Christmas!
So I want to thank every one of you lovely reviewers, and Lynn, if you're reading this, I'm not neglecting WDYHGM, I've just been busy lol. And I promise I'll review :)
So I suppose all that's left to say is 'hope you enjoy'! xxx
All I Want for Christmas
Christmas Day
Brooke's living room is filled full of presents, large boxes, small boxes, with tinsel strung everywhere, probably by Rachel she guesses. There's ribbon and bows, and pretty flower clips to decorate the wrapping paper, Skyla's mouth open as she stares at what Santa has left for her.
"He came Mommy." She whispers. "Look, he brought things for you and Auntie Rach too."
"He sure did." Brooke smiles, watching as her daughter fingers each gift carefully, her blue eyes wide with excitement. Rachel wanders in, white robe tied around her thin waist, eye mask on top of her red hair as she smiles at the little girl, taking her place beside Brooke to watch Skye open her presents.
"Merry Christmas." She mumbles sleepily with a tired yawn. She'd called him last night, Cooper, for the first time in years. She can't remember the last time she'd dialled that number, but it was stored in her brain all the same, and the conversation they'd had about all kinds of things hadn't helped her sleep.
She'd gone to see him when Brooke was in the hospital, just to see how he was doing, or so she'd told herself. He'd moved to Tree Hill permanently after the birth of baby James, and had attempted to help Nathan overcome his problems. It hadn't worked, and Haley had blamed him for influencing Nathan with his bad lifestyle choices. She never had forgiven him for ruining her wedding.
"You look like crap." Brooke retorts with a smirk. Since becoming pregnant with Skye, she'd taken a lot of stick off the redhead for her weight gain, and the size of her boobs, and whenever Rachel didn't style her hair or wear at least a little makeup, the brunette took the opportunity to make sure that her friend didn't think she was the hotter one.
"Yeah? And you don't look like you got any last night, so what's up with that?"
"He just showed up! It's not like we're even together or anything's going to happen..."
"You keep telling yourself that." Rachel says quietly with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe one day you'll actually believe it."
"Bitch." Brooke mutters, her eyes still on her daughter ripping paper off of her presents, shrieking at the sight of another Barbie or a princess dress-up set.
"Slut."
"Whore."
"Turkey!"
"What?"
"Damnit I forgot to defrost the turkey last night!" Brooke exclaims, sighing. So far, this Christmas was not going to plan.
"Mommy you're not watching!" Skye protests, not caring that they won't have a turkey for their lunch, because Santa has been, and she wants to open presents.
"I'm sorry Skye." Brooke replies. "But mommy forgot the turkey, and now we won't be able to…"
"Merry Christmas." Lucas mumbles, standing in the doorway in only his jogging bottoms as Rachel winks at Brooke.
"And a very Merry Christmas it is too." Rachel smiles at him. "I forgot how you look without a shirt."
"My daughter is in the room." He says quickly.
"Daddy Santa came!" Skye squeals from her position beside the Christmas tree, wrapping paper in her hands as Lucas joins Brooke and Rachel by the couch.
"He definitely did Skye!"
"But he forgotted you. There's no presents with daddy on them."
"That's okay." Lucas smiles. "Maybe he got confused because I'm here instead of Tree Hill."
"So he'll have left you presents there?"
"I hope so."
"Good." Skyla nods to herself. "Because I asked him to bring you something."
"You did?"
"Yes but Auntie Rach and Mommy said you wouldn't want it."
"I'm sure that's not true." Lucas reassures the little girl, who simply smiles and turns her attention back to the gifts underneath the tree.
-
They've spent the past few hours practically ignoring each other. Since their kiss last night, Brooke's unsure of how she feels, and Lucas is unsure of where he stands, so it comes almost as a relief that Skyla insists on prancing around in her new fairy outfit courtesy of Rachel, singing her own 'fairy song' while telling Lucas at speed, about which Barbies can ride in the red convertible, and which ones have to walk to get the bus.
Brooke hadn't managed to sort out the turkey situation, and so Rachel had decided that they would eat at a diner, because if they thought about it, it was more practical anyway. Four people in a small kitchen was a tight fit, and if they ate out, they wouldn't have to bother loading the dishwasher after lunch.
"How about we play a board game?" Rachel suggests, rubbing her head as Skye finally stops running around, and Lucas emerges with his chest safely hidden behind a blue shirt. "You can pick princess."
"Dream phone?"
"Really? That's a little hard for you to understand baby." Brooke says, knowing that it won't make a difference, because even though her daughter has lots of new games, her favourite is that tatty box containing Brooke's old favourite game.
"But I like the phone." Skye protests with a pout.
"That's not the best reason to play a game though." Brooke replies. "How about something else? Your dad might not like phoning guys up on a pretend phone."
"It's not pretend!" Skye insists. Even after explanations from both Brooke and Rachel, the little girl still didn't understand that the voices on the other end of the plastic green phone were recorded.
"Okay, okay, we'll play." Brooke concedes. "As long as your dad doesn't mind?"
And for the first time, her eyes meet Lucas' and he smiles, letting them know that of course he doesn't mind. They hold their gaze long enough for Rachel to notice, and when she clears her throat, each pair of eyes fix onto the floor, mouths closed and cheeks flushed, hands sweating because neither know what to feel, or what to say.
-
"How come you guys don't love each other like the other mommies and daddies do?" Skye asks, her blue eyes inquisitive as the four of them sit on the floor of the living room, presents all around them, dream phone in the middle.
"Princess that's a hard question." Brooke tells their daughter quietly, silently praying that she'll move on and forget about it.
"But I'm your baby right?" She asks. "Mommy, that's what you say."
"That's because you are my baby." Brooke replies. "You're our baby."
"But I thought the boy has to love the girl to have a baby."
Brooke's eyes flick to Lucas, unsure, and he takes over, perhaps making things too plainly cut for his confused daughter.
"Not always." Lucas replies. "Sometimes people can make a baby, even if they don't love each other."
Brooke blinks away tears, turning in the other direction until she can gather herself enough to plaster that smile back on her face.
"But why don't you love Mommy? I love her." Skye says.
"I know you do Skye, and your Mommy and I both love you, but not everybody can love everybody else."
"You know what baby, this is grownup talk, so maybe you and your daddy should just play Barbies, while I go…take out the trash." Brooke gabbles quickly, standing up before the little can protest otherwise.
"Brooke…"
"Just leave it Lucas." She shakes her head, her back still turned to him as she exits the room quickly, her shaking hand furiously wiping at the tears she's tried so hard not to let fall.
"Did I make mommy sad?" Skye asks, her voice quiet as she sits herself in Lucas' lap, her eyes staring up at him to get an answer.
"No princess, you didn't." Rachel says, before Lucas can respond. "I'm just going to help her with the trash…"
"No." Lucas cuts in, passing Skyla to Rachel as he stand up. "I'll go."
"Don't you think you've said enough?"
"This is between me and Brooke."
"She doesn't need this Lucas." Rachel says coldly, her eyes narrowed at the man who's made her best friend cry too many times.
"Just…stay with Skye." He mumbles quickly before leaving the room out of the same door Brooke had, the cold outdoor air hitting him as Rachel forces a smile for the little girl who hasn't a clue what's just happened.
-
"I can't believe I could ever be so damn stupid!" Brooke shouts as Lucas takes a seat beside her, their ears red from the raw wind, the ground frozen from last night's snowfall. "You coming here, how could this ever be a good idea?"
"Brooke I'm sorry." Lucas says softly, inching closer as he presses his hands between his knees just to keep them warm.
"About what happened in there, about everything. But what was I supposed to say to Skye?"
"You weren't supposed to say anything." She mumbles. "You weren't supposed to come here in the first place, you weren't supposed to kiss me last night, you…"
"Hey, I think you'll find that it was you that kissed me…"
"Urgh, you're still so in love with yourself!" Brooke screams in frustration. "Making your big speech to our daughter, about how you never loved me, and how you don't have to love someone to make a baby. I don't need reminding of that Lucas, I knew you loved Peyton, I knew I was just something to kill a bit of time. But I kept Skye from you because I didn't want her to feel the way I felt when you chose her over me!"
"Brooke…"
"No!" She screams. "Don't do that 'I'm sorry' voice on me, it's not going to work this time!"
"Where are you going?" He asks when she stands up, straightening her clothes as she tries to compose herself.
"Inside. We'll go out for lunch, and then you can go back to Tree Hill or your hotel or whatever."
"No." He says, grabbing her arm as she tries to step past him.
"What do you mean 'no'? Let go of me damn it!"
"No Brooke, you're going to listen to this, and I know I should have said it years ago, but I'm saying it now."
"Lucas let me go." She demands, face red from anger, her eyes determined to break from his grasp.
"How was I supposed to tell a four-year-old that I'm in love with her mommy, even though she doesn't want me to be? How do you explain that actually, every ounce of love that I had went into making that baby? And how do you tell a beautiful, strong, amazing mother that I thought I loved someone else, even though it was her all along?"
"Lucas let me go."
Her voice is softer now, cracking as her body is limper in his hold.
"I'm not letting you go Brooke. I did that five years ago and I'm not doing it again."
"I'm not doing this now." She says.
"I am." Lucas replies, pulling her closer to him. "And I'm not doing it without you, I can't do it without you."
"You think I'm going to drop everything to be with you?" Brooke shouts, rolling her eyes. "I'm not doing that again Lucas, and if you think I would then you don't know me. And if I think about it, you never knew me."
That hurts. He can feel a stabbing pain right in his chest, just like he felt when Haley got knocked down when she was pregnant with James, but this time, there's no heart attack. Just anger that Brooke could ever say such a thing when she knows that he knew her more than anyone.
"Why can't you just let me love you?"
His own voice is raised now, and they're shouting on that tiny balcony in the middle of New York City. It's not how he'd imagined spending Christmas Day, but anything to do with Brooke Davis is unpredictable.
"Because the last time I let you in, you decided you loved Peyton! How do I know that you're not going to do that again? Maybe I can take it, maybe I'm used to all of the disappointment and pain I feel when you choose her over me again and again. But I am not doing that to that little girl in there. She deserves better than what I got Lucas, a lot better."
"She does deserve better." Lucas nods. "But so do you Brooke, and I know that I love you more than anyone, more than Peyton, more than anyone I've ever met. But if you can't believe me, if…"
"I need to know that if you see Peyton, you're not going to feel for her what I felt for you. Because if you can love somebody else that much…then I don't stand a chance."
"I love you Brooke." He says simply. "And I'm so sorry for ever hurting you, and I know that there's nothing I can do now to take that away, and if you think there isn't a future for us together, then we'll leave this here, now. But if you think that there's even the tiniest of chances for us, if you think you could let me love you, then tell me. Because there's a little girl in there who deserves our best shot. We can give her that Brooke, you and I together."
She shakes her head, and for a moment, he thinks she's given up on the two of them. "Why do you keep doing this to me?" She asks, her eyes full with tears. "Just when I think I'm okay, you do or say something to make me feel like I need you. I was doing fine Lucas, I was doing good before you showed up!"
"You've done better than good Brooke."
"So why can't I just walk away now?"
Lucas only stands there, her arm still in his hand as her lips twitch in the cold. "You can walk away Brooke, you can…"
And then she's kissing him, and instead of that pain in his chest, his hands have gone numb, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up on end as he feels salty tear after salty tear slide down her face, catching in his lips.
"We make a deal." She says, not bothering to wipe her eyes. "We do this together, and this is it. No other chances, no other obstacles. We're us. We're you, me, and Skye."
Lucas nods, kissing her again as though he can't believe it's true.
"Good." Brooke smiles. "Because you looked ridiculously hot this morning without a shirt, and I'm not sure I could get that image out of my head."
Lucas laughs, moving his hand from her arm, to the whole of her body, resting it on the bottom of her back. "Keep it there." He says. "Because I was lying in your bed last night, and it smelt of you, and I'm not sure I could get that smell out of my head."
"You're so cheesy."
"You never used to complain."
"I'm not complaining."
"It sounded like it. And you rolled your eyes."
"I always roll my eyes."
"Yeah, and you always roll your eyes when you're complaining."
"Fine." She shrugs. "I was complaining, because you're heading for a cheesiness overload lately."
"Me? You're the one who started it about the whole shirtless thing."
"That was physical. You brought in 'the smell'" She laughs a little, throwing in some faux air-quotes. "You could have just said something about wanting me in the bed with you."
"Fine, it would have been nice to have you in there with me."
"Nice? What the hell is nice?"
"Okay, I tried not to think about having you in that bed with me because I might have had to get a cold shower."
"Lucas Scott!"
"Not cheesy enough?"
"Try gross." Brooke replies, screwing up her nose as she feigns disgust. "But if you're mentioning cold showers, maybe tonight I can give you a mental image you'll need a cold shower for."
"Do you still have that red lace underwear?"
"Lucas!" She raises her eyebrow in fake-shock.
"Well?"
"As a matter of fact I'm wearing it right now."
The door opens as Brooke is mid-unbuttoning the shirt she's wearing, red lace clearly visible on creamy skin.
"Mommy, why are you showing daddy your bra?"
Rachel laughs at the two of them as Brooke gabbles an excuse about them not being sure if Lucas was able to tell red apart from pink.
"Pink is the colour I'm wearing, and red is the colour of mommy's bra." Skye tells them seriously, giggling as Lucas hoists her up, and Brooke offers Rachel a satisfied smile.
They're doing fine, the four of them on that tiny balcony, for now. But Rachel knows there's the small matter of her…doctor's results to discuss, Brooke knows that the walls of the apartment are arguably too thin, and Lucas knows that when he tells Brooke about the dog he's bought for Skye, he might not catch another glimpse of the red underwear for the foreseeable future.
Woo! I know it's the new year, but now this story is finished, so I can continue with 'Nude, With Calla Lilies' and 'These Arms', so if you haven't read those already, go check them out before I update!
Thanks for all of your reviews guys, I appreciate every single one. Hope you have a great 2008 :)
Gracie xxx
