Chapter Nine

"You really were blind, weren't you?" Tali chuckled. "But it was really mean of Abby to tell you like this."

"It wasn't really mean, honey," Tony shrugged. "I don't think she knew that I hadn't realized. I just didn't understand what they meant and I felt horrible to take advantage of your papa without even realizing. Not that I thought they were right that evening. In retrospect, though."

"You didn't mean to hurt him. He knew that, too, right?"

"Yup," Tony nodded solemnly.

*GT*

"Oh," Tony sighed when the door fell close behind Abby. "I've missed this."

"What? The stress? The volume?" Gibbs chuckled as he plopped down on the couch.

"The companionship," Tony replied sitting down next to Gibbs. "You staying?"

"Either that or I'll have to walk. Since when do you have the good bourbon anyway?"

"Since I know you're here a lot," Tony grinned but then looked away from Gibbs quickly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really," Tony answered slowly, wondering if he really should open up the can of those particular worms.

"Uh-Oh," Gibbs just said, raising an eyebrow. "Spill. You've been weird ever since I came back earlier."

"Am I taking advantage of you?" Tony asked bluntly.

Gibbs furrowed a brow as he sat up in order to look at the younger man more closely.

"No?" he said, suddenly sounding a bit confused himself.

"The others told me I did. But I honestly don't see why."

"What did they say?" Gibbs almost demanded and Tony realized that he was getting angry with the team, was getting angry at the world in general.

He hurried to tell him, even if only to make him less angry and to make him see that they were just worried about him. When he finished, Gibbs had gotten a bit redder in the face even though he didn't seem to be angry anymore.

"You really don't know what they mean, do you?"

"No?" Tony repeated Gibbs' earlier question with a sinking feeling as he realized that Gibbs apparently knew exactly what they had been talking about. "What am I missing?"

"They think I want to be Daddy."

"And that's wrong how? We've talked about this."

"I know that, Tony," Gibbs replied calmly, apparently sensing Tony's discomfort. "What they are saying, Tony, is that I don't want to play house but actually do this. The proper way."

Tony stared at him as he tried to decipher what Gibbs had just said. Something in the pit of his stomach had started to roil at the older man's words but Tony was still clueless about what exactly was going on. All he knew was that Jethro apparently didn't dismiss the crazy idea of Tony exploiting him and that he was turning slightly pink in the face again. Was the guy actually blushing? Was he actually telling him what Tony thought he was? It didn't make any sense. All of it. Had they all gone insane? Were they playing an elaborate prank on him?

It was possible but another look into Gibbs' face told him that he wasn't joking. The blue eyes were piercing him and they were as serious as he had ever seen them.

"What?" he finally pressed out. "What do you mean, the proper way?"

"Not just playing house, Tony. But actually do it."

"What? You mean like… you and me?" Tony stammered as he let himself fall against the backrest of the couch. "You're kidding," he let out a strangled laugh as he realized that they had indeed played him. "Damn."

As he looked at Gibbs again, though, the laugh got stuck somewhere on the way from his belly to his mouth. He let out a strangled breath as he saw Gibbs still staring at him with such intensity that he momentarily lost his train of thought.

"They are kidding, right?"

"I don't think they are."

"You mean, you think that they actually believe that you want to hook up with me?" Tony asked quietly, not sure if he felt sick or amused or if he was actually dreaming all of it. It all seemed so surreal. Like Hugh Grant meeting Julia Roberts in Notting Hill. Nothing made sense anymore. And most of all, Gibbs taking their worries seriously was beyond ridiculous. "They're crazy."

"Are they?" Jethro checked back and Tony closed his eyes feeling like he had been dipped into ice-cold water.

"Jethro," he almost whispered now. "They are crazy."

"They're not."

"So, you do want to…," Tony trailed off, not even trying to voice it.

This was crazy. It was as simple as that. There was no way around it. Gibbs could not possibly even consider the possibility of them being together. Sure, he liked him, hell, he might even love him. But that was a different kind of love. This was about Tali, this was about helping Tony out. It was nothing else. Gibbs simply couldn't even entertain the idea. And yet – there he was sitting right next to him, looking at him expectantly and waiting patiently for Tony to do… something. But Tony didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say, didn't know what Jethro was expecting of him. He hadn't even considered the possibility that there could be something more. Gibbs had been his boss for fifteen years, and Jethro had been his friend for only a couple of months. Sure, they had gotten tight, but not that tight? Had they?

Maybe they had, and Tony had just missed it. Gibbs had stayed over more than he had slept at his own house. He had been a father figure in Tali's life, a fixture, really… and not just in Tali's life but in Tony's, too. Hell, he couldn't imagine a life without him. For sixteen years, really.

Oh.

"Jethro," he started again. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything," Gibbs said quietly. "I didn't realize you didn't know."

"How was I supposed to know? You never let anything on."

"Because I thought you knew."

"Well, I didn't," Tony blurted out as he stood up. "I didn't fucking know!"

"It's alright," Jethro appeased. "You know now."

"Since when…?" Tony trailed off, taking a deep breath.

This was still surreal. And why the hell was the other man so quiet, so composed? He should be freaked out, should be panicking and yet there he stood so calmly that Tony wanted to hit him. He had told him this monumental thing and Tony was supposed to just go with it? This was crazy after all.

"A while," Gibbs nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I didn't realize for quite some time. I never thought about you that way either. It wasn't until you threw me out that night that I realized I wasn't just missing Tali like crazy. I missed you, too."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I figured you knew."

"Since when are you assuming?"

"Never good to break your own rules, huh?" Gibbs grinned ever so slightly.

"You should have told me, Jethro," Tony finally whispered as he sat down again. "I never even thought about it… hell, the others knew and I didn't. How's that even possible?"

"They're investigators, Tony."

"But I'm better. I should have seen it."

"Maybe you should have."

"I feel so stupid. And I'm sorry, I can't give you an answer right now… hell, I don't even know what you are asking."

"It's alright. I'm not asking anything. I'm fine with continuing what we were doing. No pressure. I'm fine with playing house as Abby phrased it."

"You sure?"

"Yup."

"Okay," Tony breathed out, not sure exactly whether or not he, himself, was okay.

"I think I'll get going then."

"You can stay if you want."

"No, I don't think I should. You have a lot to think about, Tony."

With that, Gibbs stood up, squeezing his shoulder once, walked over to the open door to Tali's room, looked at her for a moment with such a tender expression on his face that it made Tony's heart even heavier and then he was out the door.

Tony stared at the closed door for a really long time after that. He knew he should clean up, should go to bed but he wasn't able to move. He still needed to process and he wasn't quite sure if he would really be able to do so – ever. This had to be a silly joke. Gibbs wasn't interested in him like that, wasn't in love with him.

Fuck.

Was he really in love with him? With screwed-up Tony DiNozzo Jr.? How was that even possible? Hell, Tony hadn't even known that Gibbs was bi. How had he spent the last sixteen years with the guy and not known something that monumentally big? Maybe he hadn't been as good an agent as he had thought. But it all didn't make sense.

And how in the world had the others noticed that fact before him? How had Abby known when she hadn't even really seen them interact outside of work much? How had Delilah known that Gibbs was looking at him differently? Hell, even Breena? And how had none of them realized that Tony wasn't on the same page – because, really, he wasn't. He wasn't in love with Gibbs. He loved him in a very friendship-y way, loved him for what he had done for him and for Tali but that was it.

Tony tried to imagine kissing the other man but couldn't even think about it without feeling weird. He knew that while he hadn't known that Gibbs was bi, he was sure of one thing. He certainly wasn't. He had never thought about another man like that. Ever. And yet, he did think of Gibbs like that now. Did that mean something? Or nothing at all?

Fuck, this was screwing with his mind. Maybe he should go to bed after all. Maybe everything would look brighter and clearer in the morning. After all, Gibbs had told him that there was no pressure, that he was fine with keep on doing what they had been doing. So nothing had to change if Tony didn't want to. And he didn't want things to change. It was too much, too weird, too out of there. There was no chance.

He would just go on like this night had never happened. And maybe, it actually hadn't. It had to be a dream. In the morning things would be back to normal.

They had to be.