Rule number one, is that you gotta have fun,
But baby when you're done, you gotta be the first to run
Rule number two, just don't get attached to,
Somebody you could lose
-Marina and The Diamonds-
Heading to Potions, Sirius moved quite slowly for someone who was late for class. If any teacher were to stop him he would say he over slept, though it was a lie. He'd watched Remus, Peter and Frank go to breakfast and Remus even tried to move him along quicker so Sirius could join them, but he lagged behind on purpose.
It had been a week since school had begun; he's been involved in five pranks. The first one was of James's doing and the other four were purely Sirius's idea. He needed to get out of his head and do something active; he needed something to take his mind off the fact that Marlene McKinnon wasn't just a tiny little sex kitten, but actually a full rounded, complex person.
Sirius knew that was a horrible thing to upset him, but the truth of it was he just wanted to have someone around that would have sex and have no other ties to him and nothing that could complicate that. It was selfish, and the little voice in his head that belonged to Mary harshly lectured him that no person should ever just exist to serve his purposes let alone a woman. And he did honestly know that and Mrs. Potter had taught him how wrong that was, so he did know better, but he had never wanted a woman around for more than that. It wasn't like with Mary or even Lily, where he saw them as siblings or relations. Marlene made him think and feel…things, and that was all good and fine when he didn't have reason to worry about that, when she was just a girl.
And she was still a girl, but at the same time she wasn't. There was a lot more to her, more than he saw with other girls and more than he was used to. He knew people could be deeper than he gave them credit for being, but Marlene never was supposed to be in that box. She was supposed to be one-dimensional and now, he couldn't get it out of his head.
Every time he was in Defense, he'd watch her and see if she'd look at her brother. It wasn't on purpose; his curiosity had just taken over to the point where it was an obsession. He needed to know what she was really like, if only to solve the riddle that had been spinning around his head. Was she really evil and her siblings were her weakness or was she good and forced into the life?
It was ridiculous really, but he had never imagined she might not want it. She always had the clothes, the friends, the family and the attitude. The only thing that seemed off was her being friends with Alice, but he always figured that Alice was her exception.
He wanted to have a label or a box to put her in so he could understand her and not have to think anymore about it. Sirius wanted her to surprise him with kinky things she was willing to try or do, not with layers to her personality.
Sirius turned the corner to sneak down the staircase to the dungeons when a pair of hands grabbed him and pulled him into an empty classroom. His eyebrows lifted in confusion, the only light in the classroom was coming from the single window in the back, so it took him longer to see Marlene bolt the door behind him and toss him against a wall.
"Shouldn't you be in class?" He laughed at her.
She shrugged, "I'll steal Alice's notes later. Besides," She eyed him like he was a juicy stake, "I can think of a few things I'd rather be doing."
Before he could respond she kissed him, not a sweet innocent kiss, but a hot demanding one that was hard on his jaw. Her hands clawed at his collar dragging his face down to hers, which wasn't that far on account of her five-inch heels, but the intensity of her actions made it seem like she hadn't had human contact in months. Any doubts shrunk. All his questions, all his concerns, vanished and became incredibly irrelevant.
Her hips trapped his against the wall, and her lips smacked against his, her tongue teasing his relentlessly. It didn't take him long to react, possibly ten seconds. His hands went for that damn skirt of hers, which covered her bum but did nothing to cure his need to seize it. Marlene grabbed his shoulder, jumped up and snaked her legs around his waist. Sirius moaned, his groin tightening at the sudden change.
His arms supported her, but he got an idea when he heard her heels stabbing the wall behind him. Sirius walked forward, running into the edge of a few tables before he dropped her down on the desk near the back of the room.
Surprised, she pulled away, and looked around. "…What the…Oh."
"You weren't planning on going to class were you?" He asked, unzipping his fly and inching his hand up her skirt, tugging her knickers down to her ankles.
"Not really," She chuckled huskily, licking her lips. "Anyone could walk in, though."
Sirius smirked, "Well they would get one hell of a surprise if they did."
Marlene was about to put a spell on the door to give them a warning if someone was coming but before she could move he had entered her and she was jolted back and gripped the back of the desk. He didn't move for a minute, Sirius just watched her, with her back arched back, her chest heaving in her tight white oxford, her tie hanging to the side. The sunlight hit the side of her face, but the rest of her face was in shadow. He scooted them over, so she could see all of her, but when she bent back, she disappeared again. Sirius reached and yanked her forward.
"I want to see your face."
She gasped, "Okay."
Sirius knocked his hips into hers again and again, the desk rattling beneath them madly. She tried to control her breathing, but when her moans became audible it just made him slam into her harder and Marlene was forced to clamp her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. He saw her blonde hair flying around wildly as she shook beneath and held off his own release to see hers. In their time together he'd seen her lose control many times, but his time he wanted to see it fully without just the pride of being the one that caused it. Her fingers dug into the desk and she squirmed for a minute, before her legs relaxed and released his waist from her hold. Once her breathing slowed, she began to rub herself against him encouragingly and that did him in. After she did that there was no stopping him. He moved without vision, without any sense but touch left. Marlene pushed herself up and whispered things to him, things that he couldn't comprehend, but affected him regardless.
When he slowed, she was smiling below him with an amused expression, her blonde hair no longer perfectly straightened, but slightly messy and wavy.
Marlene wasted no time; she eased him out of her, slipped her knickers back up, and adjusted her skirt and tie, her legs still dangling off the edge of the desk. "Can you tell?"
"Your eye make-up is smeared."
Marlene grabbed a mirror out from her skirt pocket and checked her reflection. "Shite, I look like a raccoon."
Sirius fixed his own shirt and said, "You don't look that bad.
Her look bordered affection, before she hopped off the desk. "I almost take that as a compliment, Black."
Sirius chuckled, fixing his belt. "I'm glad to see you don't see the worst in everyone."
"I still see the worst in everyone." Marlene said, unlocking the door, "Are you available tonight? After curfew."
He nodded.
"Meet me back here. If I'm not here by say 11, then assume I can't make it."
Sirius said, "I'll see you then."
"Stay out of trouble, Black." Marlene winked, before exiting the room.
Potion wasn't on her high list of priorities, if Marlene was honest with herself not very many things were. At this point there was no more backing out, the contracts were signed, and her ring would be ordered in a week and arrive in a month. She liked it act like she participated in her class or gave a shit, but she didn't. How could she? What would any test or class matter? No matter how well she did academically it didn't make a single difference because she wasn't going to be working anywhere, she'd be sitting at Rastaban's house.
She went to library, not caring if anyone saw her. What would they do? Give her detention? Owl her father? She wasn't remotely scared of the consequences anymore. What could they do to her at this point? Marlene didn't have a single mark on her from Sirius, but he was everywhere, on her neck, her back. They'd seen each other nearly every day and if not, every other day. It was this toxic heat, which she grown tired of fighting long ago. Sirius was harmless, he wouldn't tell anyone what they were doing and he wanted the exact same things that she did. It was the perfect arrangement really.
Kicking back in her chair, Marlene looked out at the crisp fall grounds, with a content look on her face. A dread was pulling at her heart but the euphoria she had felt nearly an hour ago was enough to wash it out.
She'd never admit it, but apart of her craved more. Not a big romance, or even a sappy one like Alice had with her boyfriend Frank. It was the little things that she never quite had, like the hand holding or having some around to hold you when you needed them to. Marlene had two boyfriends, the first when she was fourteen and the second when she was turning sixteen. Neither lasted long and they were more proximity and mild chemistry than actual interest. Her perfect boyfriend had always been a simple image; he had to be good looking, tall, protective, funny and smart of course. That guy didn't exist, and she knew that, but still there was still a seven-year-old girl that wished he did.
It was a nice idea, in her last month of freedom, she allowed herself to think that idea out and think of all the wonderful things that could happen while she watched the gameskeeper work on the grounds. Soon though, her stomach began to growl and she knew it was time to leave. Dirk would hassle her about missing class, she could hear his voice in her head already, telling her all the things she missed. The worst part was she didn't even have a good excuse. She could have gone late, but instead she just sat in the empty library, all by herself, something that Dirk would neither understand nor like.
Marlene sighed, and headed to the Great Hall trying to think of a reason she could have skipped that would work with Dirk.
"So," James began suggestively, falling in step with Sirius as they left class. "What could have possibly made you an entire hour late to class?"
"I told you. I wanted to sleep more."
"That might work on Moony and Wormtail, but I'm not buying it." James persisted, with a knowing gaze. "You come back, your hair looks like mine and if you were going to sleep in that late wouldn't you just miss altogether? Why bother coming at all?"
Sirius said, "What and miss Slughorn's speech on the importance of tadpoles? Not on your life."
"Suit yourself, but I know you are lying. You've been fooling around with some bird and eventually, I will figure it out." James told him, pointing at Sirius with a large grin. "It may not be today or tomorrow, but I'll figure it out."
"What makes you think I'm shagging anyone?"
"Oh, please." James scoffed as they maneuvered through the crowd to the Great Hall. "You can't hide anything from me."
"Fine," Sirius conceded, but eyed James. "But what makes you think it's just one bird?"
James said, "If it wasn't you would have another Teresa Palmer incident or you would have bragged about it by now, and you haven't bragged in a while."
"I'm a proud man, but I don't tell you about every girl."
"I have every reason to believe you do." James countered, "Which leads me to believe there's something different about this girl."
Sirius rolled his eyes, and pushed James through the double doors. "You're just delusional now, mate."
"Maybe, but I know you." He said. "And I know you wouldn't keep it quiet unless you had to, which means you care about her."
Twitching, Sirius scowled. "Okay, you're logic is all over the place. Have you lost your sanity because Evans agreed to date you?"
"No," James pressed his hands to his chin, "But I'm seeing a lot of deflection. What's that about Paddy? Do you have something to hide?"
Sirius laughed, it was forced, but didn't sound like it was. He piled food on his plate, his dark hair swooping into his grey troubled eyes. "Prongsie, when have you ever seen me lie to you about something?"
James considered his, pushing his glasses up on his face as he did and then he said. "True, but there's always a first for everything."
"Whatever, anyway what's going on with Moony?"
"What specifically?" James questioned taking a large bite from his sandwich.
Sirius said, "The whole thing where he is acting like he doesn't fancy Meadowes."
James shrugged, "You know him. Never wants to get close enough to find out anything. Always plays everything too far away."
"As opposed to you," Sirius mocked, nudging James. "You'd give your heart away to a begger if they asked."
"I'm more selective than that." James protested, spraying ham all over Sirius's robes.
Sirius swiped the remains with a snort and said. "Sure you are."
"Just because I love hard and without hesitation doesn't mean I love easily." James pointed out before swallowing hard. "There's a difference."
"If you say so."
James finished his plate and ran a hand through his hair. "I spoke with mum. She doesn't want me to go with her to her appointments. She wants you to."
"She doesn't want you to see her like that." Sirius said quietly, his eyes dropping to the table.
"I can handle it." James said shakily.
Sirius let out a low breath. "Yeah, but she doesn't want you to."
James's face contorted, and his eyes narrowed, torn. He kept opening his mouth, but he could never seem to get out what he wanted to say, so he quickly gave up. "I'm going to go set things up for Quidditch, I'll see you on the pitch."
Sirius nodded.
They didn't have class for the rest of the day, but they also didn't have practice for another two hours. Going this early wasn't necessary. As captain he only had to show up twenty minutes before practice to change and set everything up. But Sirius had said nothing and didn't follow him. This wasn't easy on James, because at the end of the day they both knew where this was going. One day they'd get the letter or one of them would be with her and it would be it.
They didn't talk about it. James and Sirius talked about everything, but this was one of the three things they didn't touch. This, Sirius's childhood and now one other thing, were the only things they didn't discuss. It didn't damage their friendship, they were still close as they could be, but in the moments those things came up they both grew quiet and eventually changed the subject.
Sirius glanced up and saw Peter talking to Remus and Lily about something. He could have contributed, but he wasn't quite in the mood. Mary, who was sitting across the table from him threw a pretzel at him to get his attention.
Laughing, he bit into the pretzel and said. "Yes Mary?"
"Where did James go?"
"He needed a minute."
Her big brown eyes filled with concern. "Is he okay?"
"Yeah, he's fine. He just needed air." Sirius smiled. "How are you?"
Mary shrugged, her long eyelashes fluttering. "Homework, Class, Quidditch…I guess I'm alright."
"That's good."
"You?...You seem a little more grounded than usual lately."
He frowned, "What do you mean?"
"It's not a bad thing," Mary clarified, scratching her long neck. "You just seemed less amped up and you haven't been looking for a fight."
Sirius said, leaning forward cockily, "Well no one has presented themselves as a worthy challenge, you see."
"I'm just saying you seem not exactly happy, but happier than you usually are." She noted, "I like it. Whatever you changed, keep it up."
He blinked, and didn't respond. Mary smiled at him before she, along with most of the rest of the hall rose for the end of lunch. He stayed just a bit longer. When he did get up, he glanced involuntarily at the Ravenclaw table, but didn't find the face he was looking for. Her friends were still there, but she wasn't.
He turned and kept walking, trying to make himself believe it didn't bother him where she might be or if she was alright. Trying to make himself think that Mary didn't know what she was talking about. Nothing had changed. Nothing was new. Except everything had changed and he just didn't know it.
