A/N: And let the crack commence. Watch out Aizen, Ichigo's big brother is crazy. You can't predict crazy. Or Urahara, that man knows no bounds and knows no affairs he has not stuck his nose in.
It's a good thing.
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"So what's with this?" Ai-ni indicated to the clothes. They were clothes that one would wear on a Saturday jaunt in the park.
"It's all part of the plan." Urahara laughed behind his fan looking at his student with his shadowy eyes.
"Bullshit." He tugged at them before leaning forward. "You know I don't like shinigami clothes but this? This is just plain weird."
Urahara folded his fan up with a snap. "This will help you. Trust me."
Ai-ni considered those words. "Of course I do sensei, especially after that time you made me hollow bait." He said cheerfully, his voice laden in sarcasm. He stood and left the room, slipping back into his human body.
Urahara tapped the table with his fan before taking a sip of the now cold tea. "Am I doing the right thing?"
"He's a strong kid, it runs in the family." Yourichi stretched her feline body. "Don't worry."
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He couldn't move. It hurt so much, his bones, his body. This sinister voice inside his head was screaming at him. It was from before, back when he fought Byakuya, back when he thought he was going to lose.
Getting kicked around like a training bag burned a ragged hole through his pride, through his soul. Creatures like this? He could take the big one; the big one wasn't so tough. But right now he was fighting himself. Just because he refused to let the other take control, he couldn't move. He couldn't fight. He was helpless.
Ichigo's eyes widened as a blade intercepted the fist. "Welcome to the freak show." His brother, the idiotic older girl chasing shinigami brother was there. He was singing too.
What an ass.
Ai-ni blocked the attack with the flat of his blade. He just got out of a musical rehearsal when he felt the sudden decrease of reiatsu. The teenager jumped back, dodging another punch. Boy oh boy, that thing, a hollow-something was rather strong and not to mention missing an arm.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ichigo's bloodied form. Ichigo was faster than this guy, probably chopped off an arm but nothing could explain why he was so badly damaged. The guy behind the big man, now he was just standing there watching. Creepy.
Orihime was on the ground too, bloody and broken. He felt his heart clench at the sight. Chad was on the floor as well. It looked like Chad nearly lost an arm. Ai-ni hoped Urahara and Yourichi will get here faster. His job was to make sure the others don't get even more damaged.
"Can I kill this punk too?" The big one yelled to the other, deferment.
The big green eyed male with pale skin focused his attention on Ai-ni and he nodded. "You may try."
"Ooorah!" The big one screamed out and punched.
Perhaps in a moment of brief insanity, Ai-ni stood his ground and blocked. He nearly got knocked head over heels. He dug in, half closing his eyes from the huge cloud of dirt that was kicked up. Okay, note to self, reinforce self with reiatsu before trying something as stupid as this.
Damn, his bones felt rattled.
He jumped back, moving out of the way as the Urahara and Yourichi took over the situation. When the green eyed one opened a teeth-like black portal, he took his chance.
Ichigo settled himself, breathing in and out. He wasn't that injured. The voice was gone but damage was done. From the looks of it, he's going to be sore for days. Orihime's healing abilities were busy reattaching Chad's hand to his arm.
"Anything you want to talk to me about?" Ichigo looked to see that his brother was back in his body.
"No."
Ai-ni shrugged. "Fine. But next time, wait for me."
Ichigo looked up at Ai-ni before coughing out a bit of blood. "Next time, don't be so slow."
It lacked Ichigo's usual arrogance, lacked his bravado. It seems this encounter was more damaging that it seemed. He took his brother's hand and stood, wincing.
Who were those guys?
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Don't die. Don't die. Don't die.
Oh god, he was going to kill Urahara. Granted if he survives, he will so kill that smug smooth talking bastard.
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"Hey, Ichi…." Ai-ni stared blankly at the room; he wanted to ask how Ichigo was doing but instead found a group of shinigami. "Ah. You're busy. I'll let you go back to your orgy."
He turned around to leave. Ichigo's hand grabbed him by his collar and shoved him into the room. "It's not an orgy you idiot!"
"Besides, you should listen too." Toushiro's cold voice stopped any impending squabble.
Ai-ni sat up, looking at Toushiro before looking away. "Sure, why not."
As he sat there and listened, his hand rubbed against his bandaged one. He hoped his soul self was still alive and well. In a few hours, this experimental mod soul will cease to exist and all the memories planted in will vanish.
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Aizen and his horde had their eyes closed and they were watching something. Everything was going to plan. Ai-ni watched in the safety of the cloaking field. The first function was a second skin that basically canceled any of his physical traits in this particular plane of existence.
The second function was to hide his reiatsu.
As long as he didn't make any odd sounds, he wouldn't be detected. It was the ultimate stealth suit, a beta work from Urahara's original.
His job was to spy. Yep. Spy. Find out any relevant information, relay said information and get out before he gets caught, tortured and possible killed.
This was the stupidest idea he had ever, ever done. He was going to get himself killed. Ai-ni reordered everything and he hoped, no prayed he could get out before anyone notices he was there. This was something not even Ichigo would do. No Ichigo would charge right in, swinging his sword and screaming bloody mary. That might even be a better plan
The little 'thing' stopped. Conversation happened. The blue eyed one, Grimmjow was picking on the green eyed one Ulquiorra. They were like two bickering children concluded Ai-ni. A part of him felt mystified why Aizen made these soldiers so human. Perfect toy soldiers would be better, would kill easier and far more manageable.
In totality, there were twenty arrancar in the room. All in ranging powers and size. The room felt suffocating and he knew, in certainty, that any wrong move and he was dead meat.
"Aizen-sama, may I speak?" Tousen, one of the renegade shinigami spoke, disrupting the argument between Ulquiorra and Grimmjow. "We have a spy in our midst."
There were varying reactions. "Really?" Aizen merely smiled. "Where?"
"It is right there." Tousen spoke, focusing on a seemingly empty spot in the room. Ai-ni gulped. Okay, time to bail. He pivoted on his heel and proceeded to sneak out of the room.
"You going crazy Tousen?" Grimmjow asked, he had no love for the shinigami.
"No. I am not." Tousen had no love for the arrancar.
Grimmjow jumped down to the ground, brushing past Ulquiorra. "I'll prove it." He stomped over to the spot and swished his arm. "See? Ain't nothing there."
Ai-ni took deep breaths, having sneaked behind Grimmjow, hiding behind the scary arrancar. Tousen drew his sword. "Stand still Grimmjow and I will show you where the infiltrator is."
"Fucking hell no." Grimmjow was not going to let that asshole use him. " Aizen-sama he's gone batshit insane, I say we put him down before he goes completely crazy."
Aizen humored Tousen, ignoring Grimmjow's request. "Do as you will Tousen."
Tousen narrowed his sightless eyes. "Stand still." He attacked.
Tousen's blade clashed with Grimmjow's. "And I said hell fucking no!" The Espada gritted his teeth, glowering.
While the two were fighting and all eyes were on them, Ai-ni was sneaking his way out of the room, one foot at a time.
Almost there….come on….
The door closed. Gin stood next to them, beaming. "Just in case." He said, as a few of the watching eyes shifted to him. Most of the eyes were watching the altercation. This was a fight just waiting to happen and those who watched, wanted to see how far Grimmjow would get before the fight ends.
Ai-ni swore under his breath. Crud. He was now stuck in a room full of hostile and possibly very powerful arrancar. He might as well gain intelligence on rank and so forth while he was here. He jumped up on a pillar, mindful of the arrancar on it and started to look for any significant he can record.
He looked up to see Aizen. This Aizen was going to attack Soul Society. It was unnerving. What was Ai-ni? A clone? A Mistake? Rarely does Ai-ni experience self doubt and this was not the appropriate time to experience said turmoil.
The youth felt something inside him twist. Was he capable of such chaos? Of such violence? Was there a darkness inside him, just waiting to claw out and burn the world?
"Go Grimmkitty!" His heart seized, his pulse jumped and Ai-ni let out a squeak as Gin's grinning face popped out of nowhere near his ear. He was on one of the pillars and as his arms pin wheeled, he fell.
He landed safely, soundlessly. But he displaced air. That means something is there. Gin followed and without warning, Ai-ni felt boney arms wrap around his figure. It was no wonder he yelped in surprise.
To everyone else a noise appeared, Gin grabbed something and was holding it. After a bit of struggling, a static sound resounded and something appeared in Gin's arms, a youth with brown hair, wide eyes and human clothes. He also had a zanpakuto.
Grimmjow and Tousen stopped their tussle to pause and look.
"Augh!" Gin got the boy in a head lock and was messing with his hair. "Leeme go!"
It's not every day you can give Aizen a noggey, even if it was a younger version and less dangerous it wasn't a chance he would pass up. Gin was having fun. Then he got bit.
"Hey." Gin let Ai-ni go, wiping the tiny pinprick of blood that appeared on his hand. "Now that was just mean." He even pouted.
Ai-ni tried to muse his hair back the way it was. He was close to hyperventilating due to the sudden trauma of it all. Jeez, that guy, what a groper. He's never going to feel clean again. Ever.
It was then, as these thoughts flickered in his head that he realized exactly how precarious his situation was. He was in a locked room, full of people who will like to kill him. Also, he just realized he had no idea how to open up a portal back to the Living World. The original plan was to piggy back on another person's portal. That doesn't look like something he could do at the moment.
I'm going to Fucking Die. I'm Going TO FUCKING DIE!
Outside he was calm, sheepish even but inside his emotions were whirling about like a blender. There was nothing in his resembling a plan in how to actually get out of the situation alive and in one piece.
"Kurosaki-kun." Aizen's voice rolled through like thunder, snapping the silent moment like a strike of lightning. "Welcome to Los Noches."
Ai-ni managed a small smile. "Nice place you have here. So white and clean and devoid of life" He said awkwardly. The scar above his eyebrow itched. "Not to mention the sekki stone, nice touch." He gave Aizen a thumbs up.
In the back of his head the mantra, "I'm going to DIE!" continued to play like background music.
"You're that other guy in the video." Grimmjow had sheathed his sword and was staring at the shinigami. "You look familiar."
Thankfully, the clothes he had on were disguising his reiatsu. Ai-ni nodded his head. "Yea I get that sometime."
Grimmjow dismissed the guy. Weakling. Not even worth killing. "Should I kill him Aizen-sama?" Grimmjow asked, this should be a warmup before he goes to kill the substitute shinigami.
"Grimmjow If I won't let you kill Kurosaki Ichigo, then why would I let you kill his brother?" Aizen asked amused, knowing how things will turn out.
Grimmjow grunted. Feh.
Ai-ni took this like a grain of salt and started to tiptoe his way out of there.
"Where are you going?" Aizen's pleasant voice was so pleasant it was scary. "Did I not say you are a guest here?"
"Nope." Ai-ni shook his head as he backpedaled.
"My mistake." Aizen's grin looked oh so twisted. "You are a guest."
"Thank you but no thanks. I have homework to do." He bolted, using shunpo. Ai-ni knew he could cut himself a hole, bolt, lay low and then sneak out. Somehow.
It was a plan.
Unfortunately, Yammi stood in the way. Ai-ni collided with him, sending Yammi into the ground with a loud thump and he went flying towards the door. The door and the back of his head meet with a loud crack.
As if he were a jukebox, the background music changed to something called "Jingle Bells".
Ai-ni stood, his body swaying. He realized, after seeing his vision double that he had a concussion. A part of him felt light as a feather while the other felt giddy. He focused on something, anything and his eyes landed on a pair of brown things that jiggled.
"You have big boobs." The words came out, as his brain scrambled to think properly. "Are they real? Or are they breast implantations?"
A silence followed as even Gin, stared incredulous at the dazed shinigami.
Nnoitra muffled his laugh in his hand, knowing that the shinigami was doomed. No one had ever said that to Halibel. Or rather no one survived to tell the tale.
Aizen broke the silence with a laugh. "Now this is amusing." Had he known how entertaining this Aizen was, he would've kidnapped him.
Halibel leveled a glare at the shinigami that promised pain and torture. A glare that would have made braver men pee their pants and beg for forgiveness, a glare that would make even Overlord Aizen cringe.
Oblivious Ai-ni plastered a grin on his face, a serene warm smile.
Grimmjow then realized exactly who the shinigami reminded him of. This kid looked like a miniature Aizen. They had the same fricking smile.
"No fucking way." Grimmjow said his face wide with surprise and even a bit of horror. "Aizen spawned?"
At his outburst, everyone stared at the shinigami and then at Aizen. May did a few take backs before the same realization crossed their mind.
"Oh dear." Szayel murmured.
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A/n: Happy Holidays!!!!
Have fun guys and gals!
